Star Wars Roleplay: Chaos

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Cruel Wanting (Maja Vern, Judah Lesan Jr)

"I never doubted you couldn't but...but I'm new to all of this and in truth I have no idea what is or isn't possible. But tell me what you can feel. I think I feel that my sister is near. Except I've only ever met her in a dream. Once. That sounds mad, right but if you can feel something too then perhaps I'm right in what I sense. Yes?". She looked pleadingly at the boy - her eyes telling the story of her hope and desire to be proved correct.

[member="Judah Lesan Jr."] | [member="Silara Vantai"] | [member=Alexandra Lianne Feanor"]
 
Maja didn't wait for an answer - perhaps because she didn't want him to pour cold water on her thoughts. So, despite lacking any training in the Force, she trusted her instinct, she closed her eyes and willed her mind to know where Silara was.

It was fruitless without any knowledge of the Force and its application. But the uselessness fuelled her frustration. And that triggered anger and sadness and pain. Within the space of a minute, she was a seething cauldron of emotion. No pressure-cooker this time, she gave full reign to her feelings, allowing them to build and bubble, to grow and leak all over the nearest victim.

Except they didn't leak out - it was if she absorbed them - and with that she felt power like she'd never felt it before. Se felt so alive and despite the initial despair of feeling powerless, she now believed she could accomplish anything her mind or heart desired.

She knew Silara was her sister. She knew she was coming for her. And she knew where she was. A few tentative steps were followed by a brisk walk and then she was trotting before breaking into a full run - closing the gap between herself and her hopes and dreams with every stride. Nobody would deny her this - she pitied the fool that would try.

"I'm coming," she shouted triumphantly as she ran. "I'm coming."

[member="Judah Lesan Jr."] | [member="Silara Vantai"] | [member="Alexandra Lianne Feanor"]
 
Walking through the final clearing that barred her from the woman she shared a life bond with, Silara could sense the closeness in proximity between herself and her younger sister. Though she knew there may be a variation in appearance - Silara had been 'modified' through Sith Alchemy not all that long ago after all - the Vahla felt that she would know who she was by sight. Even now the feeling of closeness grew as she drew nearer still toward the Temple, though at a much faster rate than before, and her heart skipped a beat as she heard a shout. It was odd, quite so really; the noise she heard wasn't audible - she hadn't felt the vibrations in her ear, but rather within her. Generally speaking, Silara was the one whom would find her target first, as an assassin that was generally how it worked - and even with her dark aura on full display there was rarely a time where anyone, let alone a mere novice, would get the drop on her.

[member="Maja Vern"] was certainly Silara's sister, alright, and she attributed it to her red hair - among the Vahla those born with such a hair color were considered chosen, greater than those without. While Silara certainly had a slight cherry tint to her blonde hair, there was no denying it was just that: blonde. Her sister, however young and unrefined, was potentially greater even than she, and Silara recognized that. What she saw, quite quickly at that, was a flash of red hair from behind the undergrowth that immediately triggered the Sith to lift both of her hands and rip the bushes and small trees right out of the ground and push them out of her way with the force. "Maja?" She whispered to herself, watching the approaching redhead as she continued her trek. It appeared that she, herself, would be found rather than the other way around.

[member="Judah Lesan Jr."]
 
Maja was simply a bundle of emotion running through the grounds of the Temple. Highs and lows all congealed into a wrecking-ball that would bludgeon aside anything in her way.

She’d waited all of her life for this. The Force was one thing – but she’d never considered having it before, so to lose it? She was ambivalent (at least for now). But family? A sister? That was the true stuff of dreams – and the subject of one in particular.

She knew she was drawing closer when suddenly the bushes in front of her were quite literally ripped from the earth and tossed aside – creating a path for her to follow. She wondered if it was down to her – until she truly felt the presence in front of her. It was almost overwhelming. Whereas Alexandra had an aura of calm to Maja, this person radiated…well, power. At least that’s how it felt to Maja.

She looked up and saw a blonde-haired woman. She appeared a few years older than Maja and – as she closed the gap and the woman’s features grew clearer, the similarity to what she saw in the mirror every day were evident. Even if she couldn’t feel the connection, her eyes told her heart the truth. But whereas Maja considered herself pretty, this woman was beautiful and carried herself with such grace and presence.

Maja stopped running abruptly. “Silara?” If ever there was a time to feel nervous, this was it. All the doubts returned ten-fold. What if she wasn’t her sister? What if she didn’t want nything to do with her? What if Maja, in her grubby clothes, was a disappointment? For a moment, she considered turning tail and running. ‘Maybe it’s better to remain hopeful forever than discover out the truth and it’s found wanting.’

But she’d come too far to run now. Instead she started to walk slowly towards the woman. Her face wanting to break into the broadest grin it had ever experienced but her will keeping it as passive as she could.

“Silara?”

[member="Silara Vantai"] | [member="Alexandra Lianne Feanor"]
 
For a moment she slowed, her right foot slowly sliding forward in the grass as she stared at the younger woman, who truly carried a representation to herself, moving as a hunter would stalking their prey. She heard her name once, and she froze. Anxiety racked her mind as she heard her name again, time seeming to slow down dramatically as she began her approach again in a much slower pace. "Maja?" She called out, pausing for a moment, knowing through the force that she was indeed her sister, that she was Maja, but second guessed herself for a second time. Gathering her thoughts, she was suddenly self-conscious of her actions, wondering if her slow approach was too apprehensive, and if moving any faster than a brisk walk was too hopeful. It was almost humorous, she had suddenly shut herself in and became shy, a trait she was certainly not known for. Allowing herself to breath, Silara focused for a moment and made her decision to move forward and then quickened her pace. "It's me, Silara." The blonde said, her confidence slowly building again. Everything hung on [member="Maja Vern"]'s reaction, now, and she hoped it was her. She knew it was her.

[member="Judah Lesan Jr."]
 
A casual observer would no doubt have remarked it was like watching some strange dance. Stop, start. Quick, slow. At times it had the grace of a ballet, at others the raw emotion of a tango.

And like any dance, the two got closer and closer together.

For Maja the emotions were getting a little too much. All those years of bottled up hopes and wishes were about to be uncorked. She saw Silara – for she knew it was her – slow her pace and felt obliged to spped up herself. Then when her sister speeded up, Maja slowed. It was as if, whatever Silara did, Maja instinctively did the opposite. Except that throughout the dance, Maja continued to move towards her sister.

At the point where there was no turning back, her final thoughts of doubt surfaced. What if, after all these years it was simply an anti-climax? The emotion of the moment set to ebb away slowly and inexorably over the coming weeks and months?

Maybe she was just setting herself up to overcome the potential disappointment. But when she heard her own name on the other woman’s lips. When she heard her confirm she was indeed Silara, Maja could contain herself no longer. Wih tears flooding down her cheeks, she ran…and ran…and ran, straight towards her sister. She had no idea what to do when she reached her, there was no grand plan.

At the last moment she slowed enough to avoid bowling her over and flung her arms wide. “Silara…” she sobbed, over and over. “You came for me…you really came for me.”

[member="Silara Vantai"]
 
[media]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qJcu5Co9XVE[/media]​
It was the emotion that Maja expressed that told her she was correct long before the words ever left her sister's lips, and much sooner than the body language the strawberry-blonde gave. As her sister ran she slowed her pace until eventually she stood still again, an expression of uncertainty etched along her face. She didn't know how to react, she didn't ever act nice or warm. She was not only a Sith, she was the apprentice to the Hand of the Dark Lord, and everything that she'd been told was to forget her morals, to let go of the feelings of warmth, and what she felt right now was clearly in the wrong. But she didn't care. Tears never formed at the corner of her eyes, but the intense burning at the base of her throat told her that she wanted to cry no matter how much she was told otherwise. Here was her sister, separated from her at a time that she couldn't recall. From parents she could hardly remember. "I am many things, [member="Maja Vern"], but I am not a liar." She replied with a smile, moving forwards for an embrace between siblings. For a moment she tried to contemplate what to say, she hadn't really planned out what she would have said to Maja before arriving, and now she found herself at a loss for words. She wanted to take her away from this group of nomadic Jedi, a group which - regardless of what they called themselves - she hated. After a moment of what felt like an awkward pause, unusual for her, she spoke. "Why don't you come live with me?" Silara asked, internally flinching at the way it sounded.

[member="Judah Lesan Jr."]
 
Maja listened to her sister's words. That wave of euphoria was being challenged by a sense of numbness.

Only a few days ago, she had nothing. Only the clothes she stood up in. She still had those garments but everything else about her life had changed. She'd discovered she could use the Force. Or at least she'd been told she could. But oddly, the one thing that mattered most only a short while ago now mattered least.

A time that could easily be measured in hours ago she had nobody. Now she had a friend and mother figure (despite the closeness of age) and a sister. Someone that wasn't just someone she knew. Someone who pretended to like her for what she had. Not even someone who genuinely liked her like Alexandra. No, this was different. Special. Hers.

But for the first time in her life she had choice. Not the sort of choice between stealing or starving. No the choice of who to let down. For in her mind - since the moment she'd had the dream - she knew it would come to this. As much as she would like to reconcile the two worlds, she suspected it would not be so easy. And being presented with the truth made her feel uncomfortable. Uneasy. And a new feeling she'd never known before - guilt. And that is where the numbness came from.

Her head said go with her sister. Her heart said go with her sister. So why did it hurt so much to think this way?

"I never doubted you. I may have doubted you existed but I knew in my heart of hearts you were my sister and you would come for me. And yet," she frowned and rubbed her tear-stained cheek. "It's still come as a surprise. I know it doesn't make sense but..."

"Of course I'll come with you. There's someone here I should say good-bye to. I think she's busy now and I don't low when she'll be free. I don't really know what to do about that."
It was clear from her tone of voice that she was frantically looking for help.

"And I have so many questions, like where and why and how and I want to kow all about you and..." Her voice went at a frantic pace before petering out. She wiped her cheeks with the hem of her jacket. Tear stains now replaced by whatever grime was embedded in her clothes.

She smiled now, quite literally from ear to ear. "You talk, yes?"

[member="Silara Vantai"] | [member="Judah Lesan Jr."] | [member="Alexandra Lianne Feanor"]
 
A small, toothy, smile glimmered on her lips and she nodded. She was aware that once her training with Mierin would begin that she'd become an entirely different person, but she still wished to keep her sister around her - perhaps teach her what she learned once her apprenticeship had been completed. "Of course I talk." She chided playfully, rolling her eyes at the younger woman's clear paranoia. The anxiety Maja felt must have been immense because judging by how hyper she seemed Silara couldn't help but stifle a short laugh. "Once you've said your goodbyes I have something I want to do with you, something that will take a little time and patience. I believe it will help create a bond between us." Silara added, bringing the idea of creating her sister's lightsaber with her - already having gotten ahead of herself and obtained a permafrost crystal for such a purpose. While she was certain that her sibling would likely make her own saber in the future, she was also aware of the importance of a ritualistic saber making. "And then we can discuss what it is you're interested in... get to know each other a little more. Hopefully get each other used to being around the other, I don't want you to feel uncomfortable on Coruscant." She continued, making an unessential waving gesture with her hand, staring off into space for a moment as she contemplated a thought.

[member="Maja Vern"]
 
Maja blushed. “I didn’t mean could you talk, I meant I wanted you to talk so I would shut up talking rubbish.”

Maja reflected on goodbyes. There was in truth only one person to say good-bye to - Alexandra - and she was currently busy. Maja felt that if she let Silara out of her sight, she might disappear without her or simply cease to exist.

Sighing deeply, Maja said, “What you see is what you get. I have no baggage, either physical or mental. No friends, no belongings, nothing. There is one person I want to say goodbye to but I don’t know when I’ll be able to see them again. I can send them a note, can’t I?” There was an undercurrent of pleading in her voice.

“What I’m trying to say, Silara, is that I’m ready to go as soon as you are. As soon as I get my hands on something to send a note with, I know what I’ll say.”

This was in fact a lie - not the sending part but the knowing what she would say bit definitely was. But in truth the note would end up being simply what was in her heart.

“Dear Alexandra

You were right. My sister does exist and she’s as wonderful as you suggested she would be. You’re busy right now and I can’t disturb you. Nor can I wait around until you’re free as I don’t know how long that will be.

So I’m not saying good-bye as that isn’t what I believe. I’m saying that I’ll see you later. I can’t thank you enough for what you’ve done for me so far and with your help I will become someone you will be proud of. But today s not that day. Today is about me and my sister - Silara. I’ll write again when I’m settled and we can discuss my training then. But for now, I have a lifetime of catching up to do.

Thank you for being there for me. Thank you for believing in me and most of all - thank you for simply being you.

Maja”

[member="Silara Vantai"] | [member="Alexandra Lianne Feanor"]
 

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