Deranged Like Me

[Cassandra Paige]

The unbearable lightness of the hollow was slowly, breath by breath, replaced by weight. Heaviness stealing into her limbs, the sharpness of the high blunting into a haze. The crash after. It was, without a doubt for Cassandra at least, a drug. And while she had never been so high, she had only been this low once before. Even then, at least, she had been fed by fury at what had happened. It was impossible in this case however to be angry with herself, not when she had been the one who had given herself that gift and would not hesitate to do so again if she could.

Even with the slow fade of the force sensitivity, the longer the staff was gone from her grip (out of reach, but then, did she have the ability to lift it now? No, but later, yes) she could still catch just the edge of his intention. That decision. The moment he settled on her death, she knew.

Her words hadn't come to stay his hand.

Cass would have killed him. She understood.

She would have fought, but everything was too heavy. Her fingers tightened on him, as much as they could, but this wasn't even their usual balance, which already would have favored him in every way.

She knew that now- just what he was. And he had seen precisely what she would be without the limitations she had set upon herself. The power? That had merely been a catalyst, not the truth of the face at all. No, the truth of the face had laughed as the weak huddled at her feet. In that moment, they had been more honest with each other than they had ever been.

So when he spoke, she smiled- it was weak and pained, cracked lips tight and sharp beneath his.

"Oh, so that is it then."

The way he was going to play that. He wasn't going to kill her.

But in his way, he was asking for her life.

"One day I will ask you to marry me. You will most likely say yes. We have been playing each other from the start. I'd like that to take a backseat if that possibility becomes reality."

"If you ask. And if I say yes. Then no more games."

"No more games," she whispered hoarsely.

They had come to it in reserve it seemed. The opposite of the direction he had wanted. They had shed the games before he had asked, even if by only a little bit. Her smile widened despite the pain. That amused her, pleased her.

Of course there would always be some games. Neither could stop that any more than they would stop breathing willingly.

Dead or wed.

Even if that hadn't been the choice her answer would have been the same.

"Yes."

[member="Itash Mecetti"]

 

[Itash Mecetti]

[member="Cassandra Paige"]

Brow leaning softly against brow, before Tash hummed.

In that moment he hadn't known what answer she would give him.

It was better this way.

Killing her would have, in some way, meant killing himself. Because they were similar, were they not? The veil had been ripped off, the tea cup shattered and in the end they had seen each other as they were. Well, mostly. There were parts they wouldn't have shown to one another even now. There were... things, certain scents of ugliness that couldn't stand to be watched in one go.

It would come.

Eventually.

Not everyone had the sight of [member="Angelique Lelièvre"] and the brains to run when they saw what was beneath the human suit he wore. "Your yes comes at a price..." Tash murmured softly as he rose with her in his arms. The orb and the staff were still on the ground, but from the shadows figures appeared. Didact enforcers, specialists, they had been cleaning the site since they started.

They'd leave the location, but Didact would remain.

Cleaning up their... mess.

"Tell me your price, Cass."

 

[Cassandra Paige]

He shifted as he stood, scooping her up easily. Her free hand trailed for a moment in the puddle before he stood, finger tips reaching for a heartbeat before he lifted her up.

Almost.

Instead it drew up again, curling against her as she leaned her head against his shoulder.

"Mmm, you know me too well," she murmured quietly, eyes closing with a sigh.

This wasn't weary. It was something so far beyond that she had no language to describe it. Empty. Weak. Heavy. None of them encompassed the bone deep lethargy stealing over her but without any of the kindnesses of simple exhaustion.

"Yes," she repeated quietly, but then her eyes opened again, gaze finding his.

"But only if we are in truth equal. I refuse to be second."

Oh, she would accept first of course, but second would never do for either of them.

"My yes is contingent on you finding a way to give me the Force. Permanently."

She didn't blink, didn't waver.

"Then I will marry you."

[member="Itash Mecetti"]

 

[Itash Mecetti]

[member="Cassandra Paige"]

It had been expected.

One didn't touch the connection to the Universe itself without hunkering for more, did they?

"Hrm." Tash murmured as they passed a duo of troopers. None of them looked at them, it wasn't... done, there were things that simply sought privacy and this was one of those things. They would never talk about this again. It was understood between all of them- for all intents and purposes they had never been here. The same would be said about those that had witnessed this.

Or even experienced it first-hand.

Silenced, paid, jailed, there were ways to solve these sort of problems.

"That could be done." After all, the staff already hinted towards it, but it wasn't what she was seeking. "The scepter could do it, but... there are reasons why I don't let the Void Troopers anywhere near your security schedule."

She had asked about that once.

They were the best of the best... wouldn't it make sense for them to be part of her security detail?

"Are you prepared to pay the price- any price for it?"

 

[Cassandra Paige]

"Why?"

The question was simple. After today Cassandra had more questions than answers, and with the epiphany of Itash as a Force user (really, she had been blind, a thousand little things suddenly became crystalline with that knowledge), he had at least some of them. Hollowed out and empty, there was nothing to fill that up right now except for answers.

"Yes."

It came as almost a hiss. There was a need there, of a sort he'd never heard in her voice before. She couldn't imagine a price not worth that. After all, she'd been willing to let him die for it, hadn't she? 'Love' was a strange word, but they loved each other in the only way they could possible do so. While she knew that he did not mean a price to himself (oh, she knew him as well as he knew her), there was little that she considered off the table to feel that again.

Not just for a little while.

But to keep it.

To own it.

[member="Itash Mecetti"]

 

[Itash Mecetti]

[member="Cassandra Paige"]

The hiss surprised him.

Even made him raise his eyebrow just a touch at the lack of control. At the hunger and longing behind the clenched teeth, it was something he hadn't ever experienced from her before. Yes, it surprised him, but... Tash also liked it. There was honesty there, an edge of truth that had nothing to do with the little games they played. The desire was pure and that made it delicious.

"The scepter imbues the target with the Darkside. They become unstable, prone to anger, to hate, prone to passions, if they aren't held at a tight leash they become enslaved to their base needs." Oh, Tash kept them on that leash, but the message here was clear.

He had never been particularly interested in keeping a leash on her.

Not permanently anyway, not in a way that would stick forever.

That would have been boring, after all. If Itash had wanted a slave rather than a partner, there were plenty of markets for that throughout the Outer Rim. That wasn't what had interested him in Cass.

"I will do as you ask then, but there will be pain and indignity on this path." Tash warned her.

 

[Cassandra Paige]

"Oh."

It was like exactly the same as hearing all of the dangers of a drug, but only after having taken it and liked it. It was easy to say, here in this moment, that path was not the one she wanted- through the staff with all of those things wrapped up into the cost. She could pay much, but being kept the way he kept his void troopers. Leashed, controlled. It was one thing to do that to herself, another to give it over to someone else. It wouldn't be the power she wanted.

Needed.

That wasn't simply a price- she knew a price would have to be paid. That was an end result that simply did not suit.

She smiled, eyes closing as she leaned the side of her face against his shoulder.

Safe?

Not in the way that anyone else might hope for in the arms of their chosen partner, but then, Cass had never really been anyone.

"No path is free of pain and indignity," she murmured.

"May as well at least get something out of the deal."

She went quiet then. Spent. Exhausted. Low from the after effects and unbolstered by the life she'd stolen from those three. Knowing it surged through him, instead.

Unfair.

And yet.

Only fair.

She'd find a way to get it back.

[member="Itash Mecetti"]