Determined to Break

[Connor Harrison]

Connor looked down upon her and narrowed his eyes for a second. She corrected him. He nodded and beckoned her up with a wave of the hand.

Was he a leader? Yes. A Lord? No. Master? Not yet. But he would be. He could feel it calling to him. The title that the Jedi had taken away from him – ripped from him.

"Of course I am broken. I inhibit the broken shell of a man as loathed as the cause he walked. Once that is healed, then I can be stronger. In time that will come."

Inhaling, he was faced with trying to make sense of what to do next. There was a plan, but it was in the early stages. Exhaling, he composed his thoughts.

"I have already planted seeds with others who touched on Connor’s plight. Sith and Dark Lords willing to give me the chance to continue what he started. That is where we will begin, and we will complete your progress to embrace the darkness and you will meet them too. They will help you as much as they have helped me, and your destiny will be set."

He folded his arms, rubbing one finger on his chin slowly.

"We simply need to find the weak links in the chain and pull them apart. Know when to strike and where, to be part of the bigger picture. Allies will give us strength without knowing it, and we will take the glory. Only then can we send a message about the new dark force we have become."

Connor nodded.

"Tell me. What do you fear. What do you cherish. What do you want to become."

It was something Taeli Raaf had said to him. It was time to use that mind-set.

[member="Setzi Lunelle"]

 

[Setzi Lunelle]

Azurea rose up to her feet and then poured a thermos of instant stimcaf. Thankfully, the caf machine was one of the items that had survived her reckless use of Telekinesis.

Still in her tank top and shorts, she placed a hand upon her hip as she drank from the thermos. Anyone looking at the couple from a distance would think they were normal campers, perhaps lovers on their honeymoon, or even siblings on a hiking trip. But closer up, there were cracks in that ordinary facade.

"Of course I am broken. I inhibit the broken shell of a man as loathed as the cause he walked. Once that is healed, then I can be stronger. In time that will come."

Let me heal you, she responded telepathically, not out of fear to be heard but because a conversation straight into someone else’s mind was much more intimate. She wasn’t sure she’d completely gained his trust and vice versa and trust was the bridge to build right now. At the same time, she began erecting a latticework of a mental barrier in case Connor felt like penetrating deeper into her psyche to find out that exact level of trust.

“No more Sith,” she said in a soft but firm voice. To Azurea they were nothing more than a death cult. “What about the Knights of Ren?” And if Connor did want to pursue close business relationships with the Sith, he would find himself with a very resistant and sullen companion - although he’d probably enjoy seeing her so frustrated - an opportunity to tap into the emotional strength that made the Dark side so powerful.

“I fear for our survival. I cherish you and our bond.” A pause and she glanced away momentarily, the view so magnificent, yet it was difficult to focus on such natural beauty at the moment.

“I want to become someone you trust and can rely upon. The Apprentice you've always wanted,” she said quite honestly in fact, hoping she’d not face another outburst. “I’m done with ghosts. I’d rather focus on resurrection. Sometimes I get this tunnel vision… my daughters. Like I keep thinking that they will come back. Or that I should find them…”

The words were just that. She hoped the mental wall would keep Connor from finding out just how terrified she was over their future, a fear Azurea hoped would fade over time.

[member="Connor Harrison"]

 

[Connor Harrison]

As the girl refreshed herself with the drink, Connor turned away to look out over the expansive desert below them trailing down from the mountain range they were tucked in.

His eyes traced all the mountains and rocky outcrops. It was so plain...so devoid of life. So beautiful. It was more alive than any jungle world. The Meru station could be seen still in the sky.

"Jedi and Sith are just titles to those serving the Force. You have good ones, and bad ones. I know both sorts. Ones who truly believe, others who think they do."

Connor raised his head a little and inhaled the dry air, feeling the power course through his veins, letting every ounce of the Dark Side in him fuel the cells and burn the pain away form his wounds.

"I have a handful of powerful allies who will help me, and in turn, you. Us. They are the ones he trusted, and I can see why." He turned to her. "In time I will return to the First Order to silence the ghosts of Connor Harrison. You will come with me when I do to see them and the weak Knights of Ren who he sided with, and why we will not side with the Ren again. The Order? Possibly. The Ren, no."

His chest rose and fell, and he turned again to the planet.

"We will face them all and they will all burn a slow death one by one. Resurrection? That is only the start, Azurea. This is just the beginning."

The cold, icy voice was nothing but intimidating; the slight quiver of anticipation was there behind the words. The desire to destroy had never been so strong. It felt good, and it felt like this being was finally born.

He just had to give himself an identity to progress.

[member="Setzi Lunelle"]

 

[Setzi Lunelle]

Connor adored the barren landscape for its lack of anything organic which flourished. Azurea just appreciated it because it wasn’t the water world, Glee Anselm, where she’d made her home for the two years prior. In fact, if she didn’t swim in another ocean or lake for awhile it would suit her just fine. Though she had a killer backstroke now.

"We will face them all and they will all burn a slow death one by one. Resurrection? That is only the start, Azurea. This is just the beginning."

Resurrection. That she could hold onto and by using a selective memory, block out the fact that Connor wanted to burn down the rest of the galaxy.

Rubbing a layer of dust off of her face from the nearby reddish mountains, Azurea wondered if the ship had a refresher where she could take a shower. Although she wasn’t sure how much damage the ship had incurred from the ion storm.

“Have you been nomadic or do you have a home? And I’d like to pick up the Pirate’s Foe from Voss if we could.” She ran her fingers through her dark blonde hair, noticing how unwashed it was, but still she waited to put back on her jumpsuit in case there was time to wash up. "It's a large enough ship to serve as a base of operation."

The stimulating drink began to make Azurea feel human again. And even though she was not ready to embrace all of these new goals on behalf of her friend, the Knight did not feel at peace either. She looked back at her calf where her own worst scar was - a patchwork of flesh grafted from a donor to cover a gaping sniper blaster wound made by a Sith enemy. Was she destined to become the half-man, half-monster that Connor was through war and peril? In the name of power and glory?

“Where to go now?”

[member="Connor Harrison"]

 

[Connor Harrison]

The girl had a ship. It was a perfect scenario. She had a ship. She had a dark past. She had collateral. He nodded slowly.

"Where to go? Why, you need to go to Voss and get back your ship for us. Then we can plan the next step. We go where the Force takes us, and we serve nothing but the Dark Side."

The fact this ship was on the Silver Jedi capital would be interesting for Setzi, and for Connor, in seeing how she would fare. Were there faces from the past who would try to stop her? Would the ship even still be there? Would it be a blue milk run – in and out without a trace?

"You need your ship. I need a name. Until then, we wait until we are ready." Chewing over a thought, he turned his head a little to speak over his shoulder. "Tell me about your children."

If there was one thing that plagued the Connor of old, it was attachment and emotional ties to the past that refused to let him move forward.

These Lunelle children needed to be evaluated into just how big a tie they were and how much needed to be cut from her heart to blacken it more. For there was still doubt in her voice. Doubt and hesitation.

[member="Setzi Lunelle"]

 

[Setzi Lunelle]

Setzi caught herself thinking like Azurea, reacting like Azurea, and even calling herself Azurea. And yes she had a ship, a past and collateral, but Azurea, if she were to embrace her dark persona - not yet feeling completely as though it was the fate she was destined for - also had once had a relationship with Connor. Not just emotional, but physical. And yes, it was disconcerting that he did not remember that.

“I will go for the ship. Will you come with me?”

You have a name she wanted to shout! But the Knight was wary of unleashing the beast she was not physically strong enough to fend off.

If only she could get into his head to find out what’s going on in there? What memories she could help coax to the forefront? If there was anything horrifying to suppress?

While her old Sith Master was an expert in mind manipulation, Azurea had spent so much time fending off his attacks that her mental defenses were relatively strong. Unsure of exactly what she could infiltrate as she stood there, pretending to sip her caf and take in the mountain view, she began to concentrate on breaking through his mental walls, just to get a glimpse of what was inside.

Her intrusion was a soft caress to his limbic system, the areas of his brain which held his memories. Just what do you remember of Azurea, she asked him in a mental whisper? Do you remember that day on Voss, taking her into your arms, removing her tunic and then yours, and making love to her? Do you remember sweet kisses and promises? Despite her alignment, she remembers. It was something your faithful apprentice, Azurea cherished and still does.

Perhaps he only remembered the Azurea of Toola, the furious snow banshee who tried to summon a host of both Sith and Jedi to a conflict in which neither would return.

“My children,” she said in a colder voice, her warmth, her passion (her manipulation?) reserved for the doppelganger voice in his head. “One is a Sith, and the other… I don’t know where she is. She was always a feral child though. She’s probably on Dagobah or among a primitive tribe somewhere.”

She could have laughed at the characterization of Astriid, but she now lacked the concentration for that many emotions at once.

[member="Connor Harrison"]

 

[Connor Harrison]

He still didn't grace her with a look. He continued to look out over the planet as she spoke to him first in the physical form and then the mental.

"You will go to Voss alone," he said. "I am not ready to return there yet."

That was out of the way, so he closed his eyes to feel her pushing against his mind, trying to edge through the barriers and the mental walls built over years of abuse, torture and training. She would find it a hard battle, but he let a few memories slip through. The memories of Harrison were all sharing the same mind; if they were pushed out, they would fade. If they were nurtured, they would remain. The memory of Setzi Lunelle - and Chastity - remained.

"I remember that day and see it through his eyes."

To be truthful, he didn't remember any of the physical experiences, but he knew what had happened. He also knew how important Setzi was.

"Your children are not important anymore, Azurea. Only you are now, from this moment. Not your children nor your sister. Like you said, you are done looking at the past."

With that, he turned again to see her standing with an iron rod down her back - she was strong in her stance and akin to a soldier ready to pounce.

"The love you hold for the children will always hold you back, and they will distract you from your future. You will go to Voss and reclaim your ship and anyone who encounters you must not know we have spoken. Befriend them. Gain their trust. Do what you must. Then, we will go to First Order space and start erasing the crime over Connor's head. I will not be sent down for something that coward did."

Chewing his lip, he looked up to the sky and sighed.

"Then, by the Force, I will find my identity. I can't be a third person all my life can I." The smallest smirk touched his lips as he beckoned her over. "Come. Apprentice. Look over the planet and let go of the past."

[member="Setzi Lunelle"]

 

[Setzi Lunelle]

Physical, material, ethereal - it was all the same to Azurea. String theory has nothing on a worried mind, she thought.

“That’s fine.” My Lord? She wanted to call him that, but it did not feel right.

Connor felt her there intruding into his mental defenses, but Azurea didn’t back down. She’d only retreat when she was thrown off, but the maddening thing was that his mind was a fortress. She could not penetrate it.

“Do you?” she asked with almost a sneer. “You see it, but you do not feel it like I do.”

He lectured her about her ship, about her children. Azurea sighed, entertained the offering, knowing he felt nothing for her. At least not what she felt for him.

Connor asked her to come forth… oh and how the defenses melted. His warm hand reaching out to her like a lifeline, Azurea not understanding the black and white there - that she was just a tool for him to use. Would he discard her? Had he left a trail of rubbish in his wake, broken, wanting?

“I see the planet, friend. There is promise for sure,” she agreed. There was also betrayal though Azurea had no designs upon that. But when it came to her children, she worried as most mothers did.

“My past is meaningless,” she said. “My present is with you.”

[member="Connor Harrison"]

 

[Connor Harrison]

"The past is not to be forgotten, not at all. Just not to be held onto. That’s why he failed to become something great. He never could let go."

Leaving her to look out over the world below them, Connor walked through the mess of a camp-site, dishevelled by her telekenisis. The gazebo was split in two and the material roof was torn away. It was a mess he wasn’t going to bother moving.

"I sense a resentment in you still. A bitterness to your voice, and it’s intriguing." He kicked a few objects out of the way with his boot. "Whatever he did to you, he did out of fear, out of desperation and out of pity. You trusted a Jedi and look what happened. You lost everything. Why, I wouldn’t be surprised if he even endangered the lives of your children."

He looked at her from behind, itching for her to react. Soon she would have to go to Voss. They needed her ship for the journey to First Order space and wipe the slate clean from Connor’s past with the Knights Of Ren. It just depended how much she was willing to open her mind to the man before her, and how much he would cling onto the past.

"So be it. In time you will learn to deal with the ghosts of the past that still haunt you if you want to continue on this path with me."

Connor stood still, and waited for a reaction.

"We need your ship," he reminded her.

[member="Setzi Lunelle"]

 

[Setzi Lunelle]

Azurea turned her head to look into Connor’s jaundiced eyes. “I see now, and I think Setzi was also plagued by that same sense of failure.” She watched him move carefully through the habitat with its strewn objects, giving a curious gaze now as though she could not even remember the whirlwind of anger which caused such a clutter-filled mess.

“Oh, I’m bitter alright,” she admitted. It was why misery enjoyed company, and she felt now that it was a sign that Connor was the one to find her, to wake her, not with a kiss, but with the slap of reality.

Your life is not a fairytale, Azurea. It never was and it never will be. For the briefest of moments, she wished herself to be blind again, to be stumbling around in the pure blackness. Naive to the upsetting visual of what Master Harrison had become.

She turned to face him again, but the rage had drained from her by now. With a sigh of resignation, the Knight said, “Don’t worry. The those ghosts will get the exorcism they deserve.”

Azurea would go back to Voss, but not to the Jedi or the lightside. “The Pirate’s Foe,” she said, just the name of her beloved ship causing the first smile of the day to appear upon her face. “Do you want me to pick up anything else for us on my trip?” Because of her assassination of the Suarbi president and the subsequent bounty, she no longer had access to Agricorps supplies that could help them, including toxins and poisons, but that kind of restriction never stopped her before. Especially given the fact that The Foe was technically an Agricorps vessel.

[member="Connor Harrison"]

 

[Connor Harrison]

One of his soulless yet warming smiles flickered, and he held his hands together.

"See? Exorcism of the past is easy if you try." The smile vanished. "That, or I'll rip them from your mind and you'll never have to worry again."

So began the next stage of her rebirth and the next of his emergence. Connor knelt to siphon for any water that was still in the bottles to take.

"Use your bitterness on Voss. On second thought, I will go with you. Should anything happen, you will need me with you to prevent them pulling your weaker side to the Light. From there we can head West to First Order space. We will listen, we will learn. We will develop. All his knowledge is mine. All your knowledge will be mine, and in turn, ours. Then we will choose my identity," he stood, holding two bottles and threw one to Setzu, "and rid you of yours. Setzi."

He walked to her and stopped beside her seething, angry frame. She was so promising, and she was going to be the apprentice Connor never had.

"Trust me. The Dark Side was always there in him, and now it emerges in me. Nothing will stop us."

He had a network growing of allies, and that was the route to amassing power, leadership and instilling fear in those who had doubted him.

"Nothing."

[member="Setzi Lunelle"]

 

[Setzi Lunelle]

Power, domination, control… all of these would eventually become Azurea’s goal as well. But for now she was content to serve him, this unnamed figure of control in her life. However she would still refer to him as Connor until he chose a more bespoke name.

She nodded, relieved quite honestly that her old friend would accompany her. The Jedi Knight would be welcomed, sanctuary promised. Her lifeline now to her old life - both dark and light - was Connor. No, if alone, it would be far too tempting to take shelter on Voss, to train and like the product of a Jedi factory, tumble off the assembly line and back into some useless conflict.

While Master Harrison gathered up the supplies, Azurea took the opportunity to take a shower in the vessel he’d stolen. She turned the water up to a near-scalding temperature and let the firm droplets soothe her stiff muscles, to the back of her neck, trailing down her spine, pummelling the dimples above her buttocks and finally behind her knees. After shampoo and soap, she’d finally emerged feeling quite unstoppable.

While Azurea may have been the Daughter of Agony, she still loathed the idea of putting on her dirty, worn out clothing and wrapped in a thin towel, she found camping clothes in the pilots’s quarters that somewhat fit her, perhaps belonging to the lady or the teenager of the couple.

As Connor entered vessel, getting ready for their departure, Azurea, tying her long, wet hair up into a swirl atop her head, motioned to her wardrobe and said, “We’re going to need armor. Maybe we can find some on the black market.” She sat, her feet resting on the console, legs crossed, his dark copilot ready and relaxed to start their journey.

[member="Connor Harrison"]

 

[Connor Harrison]

The camp was dead quiet and a ruin.

To those who came through the mountain, it would look like these campers had either left in a hurry, left without care, or been kidnapped and taken away. The torn fabric fluttered in the warm breeze and the empty packets of food skitted along the ground.

Inside the cozy little transport, Connor sat in the pilots seat and waited for Setzi to finish cleaning herself up. The next stop would be Voss; a world that was rich in Connor's history and one that would certainly be a memorable passage on their journey. Would he encounter the Heavenshield who robbed him of his power? Would that Valea healer have seen sense? What was the Order going to even try and do?

When the girl came out, Connor fired up the engines and left them idle as she got comfortable.

Throwing her a look, he nodded. "It's the best place to find something. Or maybe my contact will help."

The contact was Taeli Raaf with her wealth of resource and industries, but it would certainly come at a price.

"I have his hidden blade and my lightsaber and the Force. For now, that is enough."

One hand took hold of the yolk while the other started the repulsors to take them up the mountainside carefully.

"Next stop is Voss. I suggest you get it clear in your head what you are and what you want, because if...when...they catch us they will ask an awful lot of questions. To which they may not like our answers."

The ship cleared the burnt orange mountain, and he gunned the craft out and up of the atmosphere east towards the Silver Order.

[member="Setzi Lunelle"]

 

[Setzi Lunelle]

Clear in my head, she thought.

As the dilapidated ship burst out of Deneba’s atmosphere it rumbled and shook as though it may just fall apart at any moment. The state of the vessel would have given pause to a family of campers, but to the pair of reckless Dark Jedi it was but an obnoxious annoyance.

“The Silver Jedi only know me as a friend. As far as I know my ship was not impounded. I should be able to walk freely upon Voss if I can radiate lightness or at least neutrality.”

Azurea knew she that, like an oil leak, she seeped darkside energy out of unprotected fissures, and that her presence would not project the innocent, peaceful nature that most Jedi embodied. But then again, she’d come to Voss at her most broken. Connor could have thrown her into a prison, but he had not - he’d taken a giant leap of faith that she would not try to kill him like she had on Toola.

Her slender fingers toying with the ship’s system maps, she said, “I’m more worried about you. Just what you’ve done to get rid of Connor. And who else you may have hurt.”

This wasn’t said in an accusatory way. Azurea was just trying to assess how much trouble her old friend had caused in the last few months and whether they would be facing a few judgmental Jedi or an entire planetary army.

[member="Connor Harrison"]

 

[Connor Harrison]

The void of space was welcome.

It was peaceful and cold and like a map for him to explore. If one stopped to think about everything happening out there, in the endless reach, it would blow the mind. Factions were moving across star systems, battles were raging, relationships both born and destroyed.... the galaxy was always in motion and you could see it all from here if you looked hard enough.

The course was set for Voss, and it wasn't going to be an over-long journey. The temperature was cool in the cockpit and only the whirr of the nava-computer could be heard above the faint whine of the single engine.

He didn't look at Setzi as she spoke, lazing on the chair and in total comfort.

"Why are you worried. The path I have walked did not concern you until today. I did nothing to Connor. He did something me - he buried me away, locked me up and tried to ignore our bond. Now, that bond has taken over and it feels better. Those who have been hurt simply stood in the way."

Connor sat back in the chair, and turned his head to her.

"The Jedi will welcome you. Try to turn you against my lies and whatever. It's so predictable that those who fail to see what they do deserve to stay there. Including you. If you show any weakness, I will leave you there to suffer the same fate as your sister." His eyes narrowed a little. "Why do you care who I hurt and what happend to Connor anyway. Why do you long for the man before this?"

The Light was still there...fighting to get out and to find some redemption in her.

It had to be destroyed.

[member="Setzi Lunelle"]