Different Directions, Indeed

[Kay-Larr]

Kay still didn't have her own ship, thankfully. It made travelling that much less predictable for her, especially in enemy territory such as Hutt Cartel space. Though recently she has found herself in newly acquired TU space on planets such as Naboo. Until recently that planet of her birth was now enemy territory. Yet now she had to enter it again, only this time she was heading to Bothawui. Kay had discovered that her former boss [member="Draco Vereen"] had one of his homes there. So she hopped from freighter to freighter to freighter in order to get there.

As she arrived at one of the many docking bays on the planet she meandered through the crowds, all the while figuring out what to do next. Should she just surprise him and knock on his door? That would more than likely be guarded and she could be shot. No. It was better to let him know. She dug inside her satchel and pulled out one of her commlinks. She kept hold of it after she had left ArmaTech, just in case. Now she had to discover if she really needed to keep it, or if she should just leave it behind.

Kay was dressed like an upper class merchant from Tattooine, so it allowed for her face to be mostly covered with a scarf. She took in a deep breath and let it out slowly before activating the comm and sending a message. "Hey Boss. This is one of your old favourite civilian employees. I'm in the area, thought I'd drop by for tea. Would that be alright?"

Hopefully she left enough clues in there for him to guess who she was. Now it was time to wait and find out.

 

[Laira Darkhold]

There weren’t many people who knew how to reach me privately. Most of the ones that used to had gone their own ways, leaving to accomplish their own goals. It mattered little in the long run. The war on Contruum had been exhausting, and Balmorra equally so. Either way, the cost to me personally had been little since the One Sith had footed the vast majority of the bill. Mercenary work was difficult, but it worked out. What there had been so long ago had been replaced through strife, loss, suffering, and in the end, I had emerged stronger than ever. If to survive was to endure and prosper, well… the vault of money at the base of this tower and the dozens of corporate accounts must mean I was surviving pretty well.

The fact that someone from my past had shown up, unannounced was odd. Redemption was something that people sought for in order to attone for their sins, but I had committed no sins. I held to my word, I was loyal to those that were loyal to me, and the strength of my convictions were like beskar. “Sure. Stop on by…” I let the response trail off and looked up at the pair of droids.

“Secure the residence and check on project phoenix’s security measures.” The pair of droids nodded and went about their instructions quickly. I had thought she had run off to join the Republic on their false quest for freedom, but if she had discovered the truth of the Republic, perhaps she had come crawling back. Or perhaps she heard about the war I had started with the Hutts and was seeking to capitalize on that.

[member="Lady Kay"]

 

[Kay-Larr]

The trailing off his his voice caused her a bit of concern. It meant that he was thinking. But maybe he was just trying to put the clues together. Regardless she she went off to look for transport.

About an hour later she arrived at [member="Draco Vereen"] 's residence. Kay wasn't quite sure what to expect or how to approach all of the different questions that she had in the best way. In truth she wanted to yell at him and call him out at how the company had changed into something so cruel as to attack innocent people, innocent world and oppress them. It was the opposite of how it began.

She tightened her grip on the strap of her satchel, the bag itself offering her a bit of comfort, before she knocked on the door.

 

[Laira Darkhold]

The door slid open and she was ushered in by a simplistic protocol droid. The residence was sparse and appeared rarely used, but it was here that I lived officially. Technically I was often too busy to stay here so I left it in the care of members of my clan who lived in the apartment below along with a few security droids.

Inside she would find a dining room with five chairs, two on each side, one at the head of the table, where I sat in full armor, helmet on the table and swords sitting next to it. “Good evening Lady Kay. It has been a while since you left.”

If she was up to date on her information she would know that I fought against the Republic recently on Contruum and Balmorra. As much as I took her for a pacifist, I wasn’t sure whether or not she would risk an assassination attempt. “Take a seat.” I said, less an offer, more an order. "Can I get you something to drink." I said, a bit more polite this time, waving at a droid standing in the doorway.

[member="Lady Kay"]

 

[Kay-Larr]

Kay removed her headscarf as soon as she was safely in the dining room. She was shocked to see [member="Draco Vereen"] still in armour, but maybe that's to be expected. She walked over to the side of table that was without weapons and placed her satchel down on the empty chair beside the one that she decided to take.

"Yes it has been a while. Much has changed since then, for the both of us. I'll have some tea please and if you have none, I still carry my own supply."

His apartment was about as sparse as hers would be if she had one. But Kay was never anywhere for long, not even in her offices at the Senate or Commenor. She wasn't up to date with the latest attacks on the Republic as she had numerous other things on her plate.

Kay sat down and folded her hands on top of the table. "First off I'd like to apologize for causing damage to one of your Mythosaurs. I don't regret doing it, but what I do regret is not being able to get there earlier to try to prevent the invasion from taking place. You can imagine my surprise at finding you there..."

 

[Laira Darkhold]

I nodded to the droid who removed himself from the room to prepare her drink quietly in the kitchen of the apartment. I listened to her speak, hearing her words. “Don’t apologize. Such things happen in war. Loss is inevitable, the goal is to simply limit it on your side.” I said. She was referring to Naboo. That had been fun and easy subjugation of the Gungan people, the almost utter destruction of the species in order to contain the threat they posed.

“To find me on the front lines in battle shouldn’t be a surprise. I am a warrior am I not?” I asked rather rhetorically.

The droid returned with her drink and set it down in front of her, returning to its place without a word. “I was wondering the nature of your visit Senator, and I can’t imagine this visit is sanctioned.” I said, sizing her up with my storm grey eyes. Not but two days ago they had flashed black again. From the best I could tell, I was slipping again, and I wasn't worried about it. Acceptance of one's inevitable fate lifted such burdens from one's shoulders.

[member="Lady Kay"]

 

[Kay-Larr]

Kay thanked the droid as her tea was brought. Though instead of drinking it, she just cradled it in her hands to wait until it was at the right temperature. She crossed her feet at the ankles and tucked them under her chair.

She took notice of him calling her Senator, instead of Lady Kay as he did just minutes before. Formalities weren't quite needed here, but that doesn't mean that they couldn't be polite. Still she was careful when she spoke as it was growing clearer that [member="Draco Vereen"] is not the same man that she remembered. Though his actions have expressed as much as well.

"No, my visit is not sanctioned. No one knows that I'm here actually. This is dangerous territory for me, as you can imagine and having a couple of bounties on my head doesn't help."

Now the tea was a bit cooler, so she had a sip. "I'm here because I want to understand. I felt that ArmaTech was going down a bad path just before I left. But I had no idea that it would go so dark and evil. What happened, Draco? ArmaTech used to help worlds defend themselves against oppressors. It used to take care of everyone in the best way." She stared at the swords on the table for a moment and then looked at Draco's eyes. "Now I hear and see that you are one of the oppressors. I was crushed to see you and your forces on Naboo participating in genocide. The people of Naboo are peaceful in nature and didn't ask for their destruction. How could you do it? Was it the money involved? Is that all that you care about now?"

 

[Laira Darkhold]

What happened? A lot of things had happened since the time I had last seen Kay. “What happened was I embraced my warrior culture. I started to take care of my own before all others and that worked for a time.” I was a Mandalorian after all, with old school values and new school technology. Much like the era of Mand’alor the Vindicated I didn’t care about ruling the galaxy or cleansing it.

“And then I lost everything that had been important to me, a gentle reminder you can still loose even when you claim so little.” I explained. Suffering developed all cultures and men alike. It is only at the darkest hour do men change for the better. “And it was in my disparity I discovered what really mattered was you lived well and died in glory.” I smiled now. Only your legacy was left when you passed on and few people were remembered for the people they saved.

“I lead a clan of warriors now. I have people that rely on me to lead them into battle, and they have lived and died well. If you have come to chastise me over some gungans you will find I am without remorse for such. They took the field, they knew what awaited them if they did, and they marched on knowingly, with honor. My warriors and I granted them a death worth having rather than having them hunted like dogs through a swamp.”

[member="Lady Kay"]

 

[Kay-Larr]

If only she had been there. She might have been able to stop this descent into madness. At least when she had lost everything, she didn't lose herself or her morals. But then she didn't have a company to run as he did.

"You haven't lost everything. You still have me. I'm still your friend as always, remember? You could have reached out to me. I would've helped."

His talk of the Gungans saddened her. His new way of life was a far cry from what it used to be. And that was very disturbing.

"Being a warrior is different from a bully." Of course there were worse words that she could use. "Warriors defend, they protect others from oppressors and aggressors. You have sadly become the type of soldier that warriors fight against. Why attack Naboo? Why attack anyone that hadn't done anything to you? Would you attack me? Would you turn me in to your superiors for being in enemy territory??" She sipped her tea, giving herself a moment to keep herself calm. "You need help, Draco. Come with me so that I can show you what your actions have caused. I want you to see the 're-education' of the Naboo that is now taking place. I want you to see how everyone is now enslaved by a tyranical Government that you helped to put in place."

She needed to open his eyes, and maybe his heart as well to empathy. Perhaps this way could work.

[member="Draco Vereen"]

 

[Laira Darkhold]

I listened to her speak, before breaking out laughing. “I did lose everything that mattered to me. You walked out, who knows where Zreame went, and my family abandoned me. All I had were myself and the company I built from nothing into a billion credit enterprise. From that I built a clan. And from that I have fought for whomever and whatever.” I said. Who did she think she was? After all this time she could show back up and say she cared. She judged me based on the subjugation of one world, and not even the correct world at that. Naboo was hardly one of my atrocities.

“I am a criminal in the eyes of the Republic, and I have been for far longer than the incident on Naboo.” She was a senator, she knew this. “I offered my legions to them to fight on Ord Mirit and I was rejected without ceremony and they lost, miserably. I aided them there anyway, and to the Republic I am still a traitor and a criminal. Your Republic is hardly righteous anymore.” I said calmly, taking up my solid demeanor again.

“Listen, there are a number of things I care about, but that reeducation isn’t one of them. Every government does it. When I was with the Republic I aided in the removal of several planetary governments. As a Mandalorian I have fought and conquered worlds, and they are better for it. The Union isn’t as bad as you think it is. It could be cinders and ash, but I spoke against the bombing of Theed.” I had heard word there would be reeducation camps, but I hadn’t really seen them nor had I investigated into it. It wasn’t a world I had assets and so its news didn’t come to my notice often.

[member="Lady Kay"]

 

[Kay-Larr]

Kay frowned slightly as he laughed at her. The pangs of guilt grew as they tugged at her. But who's to say that if she had stayed, that things would be better for either of them?

As for the Republic turning him down and the invasions he spoke of, she had no idea. Her level as Senator was very low as the planet she represented wasn't one of the more valuable ones.

Kay traced her thumb along the edge of her cup as she listened to [member="Draco Vereen"] speak. He was just brushing aside everything she said, deflecting it as he would blaster fire. This was a battleground of a different sort.

"They are not -my- Republic as so many tell me. I have done a very poor job for them. I haven't been around for the attacks as I've spent most of my time in Hutt Cartel space on various missions to free slaves. I have been caught and held prisoner for a time. They even put me in a mental institution.....The Republic doesn't trust me because I have hired the Sith for some of my rescue missions. I have gotten myself into a lot of trouble and that would've given you a lot of trouble if I had stayed. You wouldn't of wanted that...."

 

[Laira Darkhold]

I listened to Kay as she spoke of her time in Hutt Space. “Let me guess, the Republic refused to negotiate for your release and you had to resort to other means of escape. It is like them to leave their citizens to the crows.” I said after pondering her words for a moment.

She talked about the trouble she had gotten into and what all she has done since she had left, mostly the trouble she has brought others. “I wouldn’t have wanted it, but I would have killed them and left you with one less enemy. You should have stayed loyal to those who would have stayed loyal to you. You want me to cry over my deeds and the consequences of my actions? That requires remorse, but I am hardly the worst monster in the Galaxy, so what is it I should be remorseful for? Show me?”

[member="Lady Kay"]

 

[Kay-Larr]

She shook her head at the mention of the Republic just leaving her. "No. The Senate were able to negotiate the bounties so that they were only active while I was in Hutt space. I knew that I was unprotected when I went in there. As for how I got out? After some escape attempts, I was let go. I have a lot of allies in various places."

As he spoke of loyalty she lowered her head and then reached out to place her hand on top of his, regardless of whether or not he would move it away. "I never lost my loyalty to you. Just because I quit my job, it didn't mean that I had severed all ties. You are still my friend and always will be."

Kay cradled her cup again. "You really have lost your way....Remember how the company was when it started when you recruited me? It centered on defence and helping those that were getting attacked by forces much stronger than them. You should go back to that. There are many that could use your help..."

[member="Draco Vereen"]

 

[Laira Darkhold]

Lost my way. My way had changed. I had tried the defense of the innocent and serving the greater good and all it had done was give me sleepless nights. I didn’t suffer from that anymore. I hadn’t had a restless night in a long time now. “The company is little more than a supplier of arms for my Clan now. I still innovate certain aspects of the arms industry every now and again, but as the whole, the company is only a way for me to make credits. I stand with the One Sith even as we speak and my warriors scour their claims shoulder to shoulder with their soldiers and the warriors of the Legion Yun’do.”

Perhaps she didn’t know that. Perhaps she wasn’t aware. Granted I wasn’t excessively loyal to the One Sith and only had a few personal relationships that I really held loyalty to. The Union was my home only because of Irani, Ardik, and Tmoxin. Without them around I wouldn’t stay much longer. The Mandalorians were my home because of the likes of Clan Betna and Clan Rekali. The One Sith I aided because of my loyalty to the Hands of the Dark Lord and Darth Carach. Personal allegiances were strong, those with governments were weak and changed with the flowing of time.

“There are many that could use my help in many regards Kay. And I tried that for a long time, to do right by others. It is about time I helped myself.” I said watching her place her hand on my own.

[member="Lady Kay"]

 

[Kay-Larr]

"But at what cost? You are destroying families and their homes! And for what? Just for a few credits as you are being rented out as weapons to people that decide to pick on a world because it's an easy target."

There just seemed to be no rhyme or reason to what he was doing. It was as though he was just....existing.

"Even some in the One Sith don't like what's being done and if they had the power to change it, they would."

Kay put her cup down and folded her arms across her chest. "My selfishness has cost me a lot. I've been so....obsessed with it that I failed to see the bigger picture. I thought that I saw it when I left, but I didn't really see what the consequences would be."

There had to be a way to fix this. Or at least part of it. And that's what she was here to do. She really hoped that she wasn't wasting her time. Or his time. "If there is a way, I'd like to try to help you. I don't need to be hired or anything, but you need help. You're just a shadow of your former self."

[member="Draco Vereen"]

 

[Laira Darkhold]

Life is full of mysteries they say. They are wrong. Life is full of absolutes and curses. Pain and temporary joys. The one undeniable truth in a galaxy ripped to shreds by decades of war was that there would always be war. This galaxy hadn’t known peace since I was born, and even before then there had not been more than a generation of peace time in the past hundred years.

My grey eyes looked up at her. “The only questions left in my life is when and how I die. I have set myself on a path that leads to fire and death and pain in the hopes that when I die young, it will be glorious. That my last stand will carve a memory so deep into my foes that it keeps them up at night. That is all I have left. So yes, I am a shadow of what I was, a shell, a worn out husk. I have been beaten into submission by fate and accepted it for what it is. Life is suffering Kay.” My voice was filled pain and regret, but my features remained stern.

“I like the way I am now. I have nothing to live for but my own demise, and it makes living day to day easy. I don’t lose sleep over what I have done, and knowing that there are people out there that shudder at my name, that makes me happy. If you want to try and convince me there is more to life, be my guest.” I retracted my hand from beneath hers. At least this way there was an achievable goal. It seemed that each time I had set my heart on doing good and helping people, I only ended up hurting the people I cared for, and each time I tried to look after my own and protect them at all costs, I only ended up hurting myself. This way was slightly better, simpler.

[member="Lady Kay"]

 

[Kay-Larr]

"Instilling fear in others makes you happy? Draco...just listen to yourself. You are not the only one in the Galaxy that has lost everything. I did. Remember the story? My husband murdered in front of me after we lost a war, our adopted children hidden away by our surviving friends for their safety. I stayed hidden for five years, not doing a lot but wallowing in my own self pity because I hurt so much." Kay clenched her jaw and gave herself a moment as just the thought of that terrible night seven years ago still threatens to bring her to tears. "But then you came and drew me out, gave me something to work for. You made me realize that I had to live up to the time given to me, use it well and make my husband proud. There has been good times and bad, but it's all worth while."

He needed to laugh again. He needed to find real joy, not some preconceived notion that having others fear him is something to be happy about. She looked to his swords on the table. She could be really silly, grab them and pretend to be some clownish sword fighter. But in his current state of mind, he might take it the wrong way and think that she was making fun of him or at worse, threatening him.

Then she had an idea. Kay gave him a small smile with a little twinkle in her eye. "Got any big canyons on this world? Let's go see if I can pilot a fighter, shall we?" If having his life in danger in battle made him feel like he's living, then why not have his life held in the hands of an amateur pilot?

[member="Draco Vereen"]

 

[Laira Darkhold]

She kept going in circles. Endless circles of attempts at redemption. Why would I look forward to that? It was always the same with people like her. Always looking out for everyone else, always trying to make the galaxy a better place.

“I am an honorable man. I do not slay the defenseless. I do not break my word. I am loyal to those that are loyal to me. But I am too far gone. Once you fall, there is only remission, relapse, and acceptance. I cannot, I will not survive another fall. Neither will anyone around me.” I said, quietly. “Your husband’s sacrifice gave you a reason to go on, so that his life would mean something. I do not have such a claim. I have been abandoned… I put my heart on the line and it was taken and crushed. All my losses have proven to me is that I am not worth fighting for, I am a lost cause Kay. I probably couldn't survive redemption with the things I have done. But with acceptance, I am content. I survive.”

I thought for a moment then I smiled at her. “But it has been nice to see you again. The next time you see me on the field… stay off of it. Battle isn’t a place for people like you. You have a future, I suggest you live for it with a smile and clean conscience, don’t waste it fighting in a war.”

[member="Lady Kay"]

 

[Kay-Larr]

"Do you think that you're the only person to have suffered a broken heart? Oh come on now. It's a part of life! And just think of the lives and families that you're ruining because you got hurt."

[member="Draco Vereen"] was being a coward, only he just didn't see it. And now he was dismissing her, brushing her aside as that was the easiest thing for him to do. But she didn't get up from her seat. She just remained where she was. "If I could afford you, I'd have you work for me. You'd be able to help me in my efforts against the Cartel and fight the good fight instead of just being a weapon for a bully." She sighed. "Your forces destroyed the village that I was born in. It's just....gone. The people that survived are now forced into labour camps. If they refuse, they die..." Kay thought on that for a moment. If she had still lived there, she would've died too, rather than being forced into servitude.

"You may have given up on yourself, but I haven't. I can't apologize enough for not keeping in contact as much as I should, but I won't be pushed aside so easily. I'm too stubborn, remember?"

 

[Laira Darkhold]

I looked at her coldly now. She wasn’t getting the hint. The only thing redemption could do, the only thing having a conscience to guide me again could do was destroy me completely. I could see that. There was no going back. I had fallen, leveled off, and then been pushed off the plateau and into the void. How could she not see it? “I am fighting the Hutt Cartel. They have offended me and I will see them burn for it.”

She paused for a second, talking about her village that she grew up in. How sad it must be for her. “You would probably like to hear that I am sorry about your village. I am sorry. Sorry they did not accept their fate for what it was. Perhaps if they had, they would be safe and in their homes tonight. I am by no means faultless in their plight, but I don’t have to wear it like a burden. That would kill good men.”

I looked down at the floor for a moment, collecting my thoughts. “Its time you left Kay.” She had been here long enough. The longer she stayed the more likely she would be discovered. The only thing I had left was an honorable, glorious death and she had something to live for. She shouldn't waste it in a Union prison.

I contemplated what had happened. I was thinking about why and what made me happy. It was lonely at the top of the food chain, and I held on to what happiness I could find jealously and defended it viciously. For everything I tried to hide behind, all I really wanted was direction, a clear course of action, and a companion. I had been broken and shattered and the pieces tossed to the wind, and it left me without trust. Not that I was untrusting of people themselves, but that I could not trust they would remain. It seemed as though every time I became attached to someone, they disappeared shortly after.

[member="Lady Kay"]