Private Difficult Assignment

[Kyra Perl]

Kyra jerked back, scattering across the forest floor as his mental screams reverberated through her mind. The sensation lifted in an instant, Kyra's chest jerking in up and down breaths as she felt both their panics echo back and forth across the connection.

She hadn't meant to!

Whatever this was, it was apparent in an instant that she had hurt him. But how?

She stared at him in open horror for one breath before scattering back towards him the next. She reached for him. But to do what? Check for breath? Hug? Stop his pain! Apologize, something! Utter dread was quickly spreading through her at face of her mistake.

"Are you okay?" She practically screamed, panicked.

It would be baaaaad news if she broke a teacher. Kicked out for sure.

 

[Judah Lesan Jr.]

The darkness became darker, if that was possible, and JJ fell onto his back. He laid there motionless, completely devoid of every sensation that would let him know he was on his back. His mind went quiet, and everything JJ had projected into Kyra's mind was gone. Where she would have sensed the echo of his thoughts, now she would sense nothing but quiet.

His eyes fluttered open to the distinct feeling of his head in a lap. JJ could not remember how he got that way, but he could pick up the distinct onslaught of pheromones coming from the quarter zeltron. He smiled as he looked up at her.

"Hey you," he said with a slur that spoke to the fact he was still coming to or might be drunk on something. "What... what happened...?"

His eyes searched hers confused as to what she had done. JJ sighed trying to sit up, but groaned. He was still weak, but whatever had happened was gone. That trick of her, the way she overwhelmed would be useful for her in the future. She was strong, and JJ would have to help her develop that. Regardless, as JJ continued to come out of it all, he sensed a piece of Kyra still in his mind, still present with him. Whatever happened had left them connected.

[member="Kyra Perl"]

 

[Kyra Perl]

Kyra's sobs cut into a rasping breath, the padawan gasping noisily as the master came back to life in her lap. Her face was utterly soaked by tears. Her eyes were red. Her nose snotty. Her expression remained contorted in the most unattractive of ways.

He sat up with life in his features and a smile on her face and she could only stare in contorted disbelief.

Because she had killed him.

All life had left his mind.

It was darkness. She had made it that way.

How had he come back?

There were no words to access. Only incomprehensible warbling as pure relief mixed with the grief that hadn't left her yet. She had thought him dead. She tried to say it. She tried to apologize. She should tend to him and make sure he was well, but all she could do was pull back, warble, and curl into the hole that had been punched through her chest. It was a hole he might know well enough. Precious one's leave it behind when they die. And that hole wasn't just his, her grief had more grounds. But there were no words or thoughts for having someone lifeless in your lap.

Only terror. Only pain.

She cried viciously.







She was never touching someone's mind again.

 

[Judah Lesan Jr.]

"Hey, hey, shhhhh," JJ tried to comfort the Zeltron and calm her tears. "I'm here and I am fine," he said.

JJ could understand that she thought something bad had just happened, but in truth all she had done was overwhelm his senses to the point he could no longer access them. The part where he went black was simply JJ fainting from the overexertion of trying to combat what was happening to him. The scary part in all of it was that he was physically fine, other than still feeling weak which was from fainting. The more he processed, and the more pulled himself out of the side effects of what took place, the more like the healthy night he became.

He finally sat up, something he hoped would help Kyra feel better about what was happening. There was no way she could know what was going to happen when she showed JJ a reflection of his mind, or whatever it was she had shown him, but that was his risk to manage as the teacher. Kyra needed to understand that as well.

"You focus on trusting me, and let me worry about managing the risk of what we do. We both know I'm not going to hinder your progress, and we will be taking some risks as we go. So something happened, but look... all is well. Now, whatever it was you did, that is going to save your life one day, so don't ever forget how you did that."

It was going to save her life, or be a weapon she could abuse and exploit. JJ hoped the former because his plan was to guide her in such a way she never abused the skills he would help her develop.

"I like you kid, and you got a ton of potential. Now, let's wipe away those tears and pick ourselves up hmm?"

[member="Kyra Perl"]

 

[Kyra Perl]

Kyra hitched and choked, barreling into his chest and hugging him tightly. His words did little to calm her, but the fact that he was alive and thinking resonated within her well enough.

“You went away,” She breathed, her fingers tight and sticky on his clothing. A well of tears erupted and oversplit, her face pressing firmer into his clothing. Pain sat deep in her chest at the words. Away did not just mean leaving her. It meant dying too. It seemed she knew pain from both.

“I thought you were dead-- you seemed-” She hitched again, a breath struggling to get through her chest. Her body shuddered then let it through, a small wave of calm breaking through her panic.

She didn’t have to voice her apology. Connected or not , it rang through the air.

“How,” she croaked, pulling back and staring at him in concern.

 

[Judah Lesan Jr.]

Judah chuckled at the question. How? She was young, and had yet to understand how telepathy or being in someone’s mind worked. For a moment he was just quiet and did the only thing he knew to do. JJ simply held the girl and let her sob. Perhaps she would feel his attempt to calm her through the force as well, but the Knight was beginning to think that was a pointless exercise. After seeing her mind, JJ knew nothing would ever be calm. She needed a different approach.

“How? I went unconscious,” JJ simply answered. “You were connected to my thoughts only. You could have checked for a pulse, or searched for my life force. When someone passes out like I did, everything goes quiet and empty like that.”

Like with anything learning this skill took practice, patience, and understanding. Kyra did not need the details, but she did need to understand how it worked. Maybe knowing that would help calm her at least, even though JJ was certain that was something she would have to do for herself in the long run.

“Try it again, but this time don’t reflect me to me… just give a picture. Then we move on persuasion…”

Kyra Perl

 

[Kyra Perl]

Try it again? He’d feel her reel back at the suggestion, fear taking route.

“Uh, I dont think so. I could hurt you again. Or worse.” She wiped at her face, her hands still shaky. He said there were ways to see had still been alive, a fact which had her cheeks red in embarrassment. Had she just made a fool of herself? Knocked out a teacher then reacted like a newb?

She half suspected so, which had her pulling back and closing up ever so slightly. In case he hadn’t noticed-Kyra had an ego.

She pulled her sleeves down over her hands, crossing her arms over her stomach. “I did give you a picture, can we just try something else?” She asked, yet again.

She also had a habit of ditching things the moment they got tough. Maybe her lack of refined skills would make sense now.

 

[Judah Lesan Jr.]

“No you can’t…” JJ said confidently. Naturally there was a chance she could hurt him again, but he also knew the chances of that happening was rather slim.

He sighed.

This was going to be a thing. She wanted to quit because things had not gone well, and the Knight simply shook his head.

“You’re not giving up that easy. You want my help in learning other things, then we finish this lesson. Persuasion is the last thing I want to teach as far as mental skills go today anyway.”

She could try and pull away all she wanted, but Kyra was going to discover that when she ran, JJ would pursue. Maybe others let her get away with running from things, but not him. It was even more important now that a bond was shared. The desire to keep her on track, but more importantly connected, was what currently drove the Corellian. A smirk set on his face as he crossed his arms.

“We aren’t about to find out whether my Corellian stubborn is too much for you Zeltron suggestion are we?”

 

[Kyra Perl]

A sense of perspective about this morning began to dawn on Kyra as the panic of a dead teacher faded into the background. JJ’s calming attempts through the force would be considered resoundingly successful. In the short span of a few minutes the tears were done. Her panic gone.

She sat still with a sense of tiredness speading throughout her limbs.

And this ease that he had encouraged did a surprising amount of work for her self awareness. Because she was now distinctly aware of just how silly emotional she had gotten over the span of their lesson today.

Her cheeks flooded red, a small scolding voice cutting through her mind.

You’re so desperate.

Desperate, and stubborn. Because she raised her chin to him, giving him an indiscernible shake of her head. “I’m not doing it,” she whispered. Her arms tightened around her core, buckling down for whatever scolding he had in store for her.

She had heard it all before.

 

[Judah Lesan Jr.]

“Right…” JJ replied as it became clear the Zeltron was going to do things her way.

If JJ were a better person, and extremely less Corellian, the idea coursing through his mind would never have been thought, let alone acted on. JJ was neither unfortunately. Yes, he was a good person, but he was an ornery person and as Corellian as they came, even on an extreme level perhaps. That’s why he closed his eyes and brushed his mind against hers. If she didn’t want to move on, JJ would just make her.

It was a simple thought using the seed of her own desire to learn more. With a wave of his hand Judah let the thought burrow deep into her subconscious, and overtake her stubborn will.

“You will try again. You want to learn more…”

It wasn’t a good thing, a teacher mind tricking his own student into learning. Judah wasn’t a typical teacher though, and Kyra was certainly not a typical student.

Kyra Perl

 

[Kyra Perl]

It would be disconcerting to admit that Kyra didn’t even feel him there. But she didn’t. The girl was so used to the presence of others inside her mind, a thing which she often held wide open by accident anyway- JJ would find himself met with no resistance.

His words washed over her. Her shoulders slumped down over herself. The arms that clutched at her mid drift slowly released as JJ’s thought took root.

“I mean maybe… I do… I could…” Her eyes squeezed shut, and without realizing how odd her sudden desire to try was … without remembering the fear that had been holding her back…

Her mind nudged his, following the track he had laid her out on.

It really was too easy. A simple seed, as she was shaking in place… opening up the image of a sunset and pressing it against his mind.

He still got other things. Like the hard rock under her ass. Or how tight she was holding her sides, the muscles spasming.

But he also got the remembered warmth. The breeze. The colorful swirl scattered across the sky, painting the backdrop of Zeltros.

 

[Judah Lesan Jr.]

JJ had never been to Zeltros, but in an instant it was as though he’d been transported to the pleasure planet. The sunset was breathtaking despite the sensation of a rock poking at his butt cheek. Warmth filled his bones, and a soft and contented sigh left his lips. JJ smiled in a way he had not in a long time. His lips closed in a moment as he opened his eyes and slowly backed out of the image.

“You are going to be a natural with persuasion,” he said. “I will tuck that memory of yours away. Nothing has made me feel that content in a long time.”

Kyra has given JJ something he hadn’t felt in a long time. The smile was still on his face as he moved closer.

“Persuasion is similar to what you are already doing. All you need to do is make a thought or idea seem like it is coming from the person you want to persuade. To do that you have to tie it to something that motivates them. So… try it with me. Make me do something.”

It was an odd request itself, but again who better to try the skill on. JJ was safe. He would always be safe, until he wasn’t.

Crossing his arms JJ smirked.

“Hit me with your best shot…”

 

[Kyra Perl]

Kyra blinked softly, confused as to how she got here. Didn’t she not...want… to do this? It made her uncomfortable, for reason she was struggling to access. The urge to learn made her push through it all, and oddly enough it kept her distractible mind on track.

This was class time, she was getting a good opportunity here. She knew that. She had always known that, the only change was now she was willing to try and not let the opportunity slip away.

“I…”

She dropped her arms from her side altogether, squirming a little before looking back into his mind. “That sunset is my favorite…” she told him, her chest aching at the reminder. It was from the rooftop of her home. The place she felt the safest. She felt vulnerable having shared that with him. She certainly hadn’t told anyone before. She wondered for a moment if he had a place that made him feel the same.


The comment that he had not been so content in a while and her looking closer at him, in both physical and mental regards. She looked towards his desire to keep her memory close, curious why he should even care. But then she recognized that he ached for something warm to remember.

Surely he had some of his own.

Show her?

She implored, her presence subtle but curious.

Remember your favorite memory.

 

[Judah Lesan Jr.]

Her favorite memory. There was something both intimate and trusting with what she had shared, and JJ knew he would do well to not betray that trust. She was an open book, and he was to her as well. At least they were making progress in their lessons, even if JJ cheated a little. He may have felt guilty about it, but at the same time whatever worked right? She was going to return the mind trick soon enough, and JJ expected her to take full advantage of the opportunity she had.

The shock on his face when she wanted his favorite memory was momentary before her will took over his mind. He had not expected this.

His eyes closed as he scanned for the memories he wished to show her. There would never be one favorite, but two which made Judah who he was.

The first was of his home in Coronet Peak. Pine trees littered the compound his father had built to keep his family safe and secret from those who had wished him harm. A hot day working on a bridge, building with his own hands, chopping the wood with an axe, honest hard work. She would feel the pride which the Corellian got from seeing his accomplishment.

Hard work. Maybe it would explain why he pushed her. Perhaps she would be shocked to find that he loved to work and shape things with his hands. The memory brought him joy.

The second was different. Memories flooded her mind of a red haired girl which had been raised in his house as sister. Much time had been spent together, even those moments when she had left, JJ was still with her, and her with him. His first love, his first force bond. Kyra had already seen how that relationship ended, but as they say you never forget your first. Sasha had been his world for a time, the pain of her rejection still stung him. Despite this, JJ still recalled earlier memories with a fondness that was unique. His favorite of those were the times spent in the swimming hole. He was a playful sort in the water, able to shape and bend it through the force.

JJ worked hard, and played as hard as he worked. Kyra would learn much based on those memories.

His eyes opened.

"No one else has been allowed that deep into my memories..."

JJ smiled and nodded. What next... he supposed it depended on her reaction.

 

[Kyra Perl]

Kyra sat unseeing on the forest floor, her gaze blank as she hovered inside his mind and the images he had left it. She seemed to operate more comfortably like this-- receiving instead of giving. She could absorb things through the force far easier than she could give. Wrangling her mind down into a single thought or feeling was not something she had ever down before. It half seemed like she just wasn't wired that way. But this complexity of thought allowed for her to assimilate the details he gave her with very little disorientation.

She clung to the images even after they left him, staring curiously at them.

A different side of him indeed. But what about his sunsets?

He had laid himself open to her, a mistake, maybe, because the padawan's distractable nature was quick to take over. She prodded at his mind curiously, their shared interest in each other's memories played off of and amplified. She didn't even realize what she was doing, dragging the desire to share more out of him felt as natural as breathing.

A sunset, she implored.

He wanted to show her a sunset.

Her desire pressed against him, the demand surprisingly strong and insistent. All her focus poured onto this moment, proving such a feat was possible for her. If she was interested.

 

[Judah Lesan Jr.]

She said nothing, but JJ could feel her thoughts. They pressed into his mind, once again overwhelming his will with their own desires. This time it was a singular thought, a fact JJ would tuck away for later use. His mind quickly began to filter through memories as her desire brought the sudden urge for him to comply. It would be nothing to find his favorite sunset.

He was on the roof of his childhood home, the young Lesan not much older than Kyra was now. JJ was not alone. Seated next to him was the red haired girl which had always been next to him since his father had brought her home from the streets of Denon. They were at perfect peace in that moment, both of them, and they watched the sun begin to dip closer to the horizon. Various shades of pinks, blues, and purples, painted streaks across the sky only to be replaced by vibrant reds and oranges moments later.

It was a hard thing to describe, but JJ could show the memory with ease. Kyra would feel the contentment, the uneven surface of the shingled rooftop, and the way his heart fluttered when the redhead leaned her head on his shoulder. JJ would have never guessed it was the last sunset he would ever see with the one who had first stolen his heart, but he had never seen another sunset like it.

Perhaps all these memories would simply tell Kyra that JJ had some unresolved attachment to a woman that broke his heart, or who might accuse JJ of breaking hers. He didn't know, and he was not sure. Either way, this sunset was burned into his mind, and it was the one Kyra would see.

He sighed, knowing the Zeltron was learning more about him than he'd ever let anyway see since that sunset. Even Kaitlyn, the Ranger he had run around with for a while, never truly knew him this well.

"Please... I..."

Kyra Perl

 

[Kyra Perl]

Her curiosity did not abate. There was so much to understand, to process. Her curiosity became locked on this read-headed girl. His feelings off affection and attachment sat in her chest, overwhelming in the degree in which he could possess them.

Kyra clearly did not understand love.

The pain that echoed in him in response to the unknown girl only felt inevitable and expected.

Still, there was more to know. More to understand. He yearned for the girl. Missed her. Wanted her back. Kyra dived into this drive, one question driving both of them further in the moment:

What happened to her? Where did she go?

Kyra pried, his own deep desire to have Sasha back reflected back onto him. She couldn't help it. She couldn't control what she did as she fell deeper into the force. She was only feelings now. Mostly his.

And they wanted to know where Sasha went.

 

[Judah Lesan Jr.]

JJ tried to fight the strong desires he felt as Kyra pressed deeper, desperately wanting to know where Sasha went. She had latched onto his desire, the regret, and the longing, to have his friend, his first lover, return to him. They had been more than that, truly best friends which could have been something amazing had they not been so different. Kyra's curiosity paired with JJ's desire became too much for him to combat, and so the Knight gave in.

Sasha had wanted him to go with her. The words rang through JJ's mind as the vision of the pair cuddled close in their swimming hole flashed into Kyra's mind. It was not a modest image at all as the pair looked as though they had been entangled in other ways just moments before. Neither were clothed, and as blue eyes met Judah's the plea in her voice to runaway with her was evident. Sasha was not going to stay.

"I can't just leave without saying goodbye to my parents... you know they are gone for another few days. Can't we just stay until then... let me tell them, and then we can go anywhere."

She was quiet and just kissed him again.

His mind flashed forward to waking up in bed, the sheets were a mess, and JJ was alone. There was a note left for him where Sasha's head should have been, the pillow where it had been when the pair finally fell asleep. She was gone... not willing to wait for him.

Another flash and all that Kyra would feel was the force bond broken. Where there had been something, now there was a void, and if Kyra searched JJ close enough through the force, she would find the void was still there. Perhaps this was why nothing had worked with anyone since, JJ refused to let anyone fill the space Sasha had occupied. It was time to move on and he knew it, but JJ found that much easier said than done.

"Kyra... please..."

Kyra Perl

 

[Kyra Perl]

Kyra cried out, eyes still unseeing as she clawed at her chest. Their chest. It all felt the same to her, his body was hers. The void ached, still present, bringing a wash of moisture over her eyes.

Where was Sasha. Where did it go?

She demanded, her vice on him like claws as she pried desperately for the answer. There was no more tact. There was no imploring. Resistance would be met in turn.

Until she found Sasha. Until she knew where the girl went.

 

[Judah Lesan Jr.]

GONE

It was the one sense Kyra would feel until finally another image flashed in her mind, the one JJ had not wanted to share.

Sasha was with another, in the most intimate of ways. It had been in that moment she broke their bond. She had been on some ship on the other side of the galaxy. JJ had looked for her, but never found her. There was a trail, spice binges, other things more akin to the street rat she had been as a child. Her whereabouts now were unknown. She could have been dead, but to JJ she was. She wanted it to be that way between the two of them.

JJ spoke out once more.

"I don't know anymore, and I don't want to."

His mind fought back this time.

"Please, Kyra... just because I live with this void does not mean I want to keep it. You know more about me than I have ever let anyone see, please, do not go further."

His voice was calm, gentle. The question was offered in nice way, and not demanding. There was a firmness to it however, as though this is what he truly wanted. He liked Kyra as a person, and knew she was growing on him. They were bonding as a teacher and student should, but that did not mean JJ was ready for Kyra to know his deepest secrets. He was not ready for anyone to know his deepest secrets.

Kyra Perl