Do Robots Dream of Electric Sheep?

[Siobhan Kerrigan]

[member="Mirien Valdier"]


"Because as long as you have control, you cannot be hurt. You're safe if you have the power. It will be difficult, but fulfilling if you learn to let go. As a matter of fact, freedom can be found in submission. There are no worries, only the loving care and heel of your Mistress," Eileithya said.


Yes, somehow a conversation about trust in relationship could drift into one about BDSM and stay serious. "For your information, Siobhan...really gets off on being worshipped. And, think of it this way, I am certain she will be very eager to return the favour to you." She finished cleaning the wounds and applying bacta salve.


"There is nothing to thank, child. It is my calling to help those in need, by the grace of the Goddess. You are not the only one in this room who once walked a dark path, committed evil...and had to find her way out of the shadows into the light. But the Goddess loves the lost sheep that returns to the flock more than the hundred who have never strayed, for they will never know what temptation truly is. You cannot say the words...not yet, but do not close your eyes to the possibility."

 

[Mirien Valdier]

Mirien sighed, "Yes. That's it exactly. I've been hurt so much that it's extremely difficult for me to surrender to another." Reaching up, she ran a hand through her hair brushing it back from her face. "If it was anyone else, I wouldn't consider the possibility. I just care too much to let what I did get between us. I'd rather find a way to make it up to her, the sooner the better. Who knows, she may not even want to do this at all." Even Mirien didn't seriously think Siobhan would actually pass up this chance. She did know Sio well enough to believe she'd happily take this on, and take her in as her slave for a time.

"I suppose you have a point." She still wasn't entirely sold on it, but it seemed the quickest method to get back in Siobhan's good graces.

She nodded again, "I still appreciate it, calling or not." Though, she had a hard time believing the next words from the priestess. "I'd never have thought that of you. You seem far too good to have fallen so far and walked a road like I have. Not to sound patronizing or anything, you just now, seem to have come into your own, not a trace of such darkness in you now. It's hard to imagine you having walked a similar path and I say that with the greatest of respect, dear." A frown crossed her lips, still uncertain about love. "I'll try not to. I'll try."

[member="Siobhan Kerrigan"]

 

[Siobhan Kerrigan]

[member="Mirien Valdier"]


Eileithya smiled sadly. "You are not being patronising, dear. But remember that the hand which soothes can just as easily inflict pain. That which takes diseases away can just as easily inflict them. I was young and foolish once. I wanted to see the stars for myself, believing my powers shielded me from anything, then I was taken by slavers...to a world at the edge of Wild Space. I suffered...horrible indignities. When I was free...there was only rage and a desire never to be out of control," at that she broke the tale off.



"The rest is history, but this is not about me. Darkness lurks in all of us...imperfect sinners that we are, but the Goddess looks past, if we strive for something greater and virtuous." She ran a hand through Mirien's brown hair before planting a kiss on her cheek. "Anyway, go and sweep your girl off her feet. I may...join you sometime. Fortunately the Goddess knows of the pleasures of the flesh and does not demand vows of chastity from her handmaidens," she added with a wink.

 

[Mirien Valdier]

"I'm sorry you had to go through that." Mirien said softly before squeezing Eileithya's hand gently.

She nodded, "I suppose that's true, my dear. Thank you for talking with me." Sighing she rose slowly to her feet. "I suppose I'll poke my head in and see how she is sleeping. Not sure I want to wake her." Perhaps the conversation would be best for the morning. Even with how much she hated mornings, it might be worth the wait. "Oh, that is most interesting to know." She said with a soft smile as she slowly rose from the bed. "Guess I'll see you later on, then."

On her way out, she grabbed her bloodied shirt and headed down the hall. First to her own room, so she could at least change into something clean. Then slowly she walked down the hall again, heading to Siobhan's room, and as quietly as she could manage she opened the door and peered into the darkness to check in on her Sio.

[member="Siobhan Kerrigan"]

 

[Siobhan Kerrigan]

[member="Mirien Valdier"]


It was dark in Siobhan's rather opulent bedroom when Mirien entered. The Countess was sleeping soundly in her mistress bed when she was roused by the sound of footsteps on the magnificient carpet outside, then the slight creak when the door to her room was opened.


The slight noise offended her, for she was pulled from a rather peaceful slumber. She felt like dismissing it but then she felt a presence...a very familiar one. Her jaw tightened and with a sigh she switched the light on, feeling groggy and annoyed. "Are you going to come in or linger outside? I'd say...welcome back, but I'm kind of pissed. Where's your psycho girlfriend?"

 

[Mirien Valdier]

Mirien had hoped that Siobhan would not have woken. She just wanted to watch, to know she was okay. She gave a small shrug and stepped inside, closing the door behind her. "I know you are. And I'm sorry really doesn't cut it either, I know." Another shrug, "She's not my girlfriend and she is gone. Long gone." The former Inquisitor said quietly as she remained near the door. She wasn't really sure where she stood right now, and somehow felt that stepping closer to the Siobhan might not be the best idea.

[member="Siobhan Kerrigan"]

 

[Siobhan Kerrigan]

[member="Mirien Valdier"]


"That's sweet. Did she get any of Atrisia's shiny toys? She's Kaelin Junior, I imagine she'll be having a merry time torturing and raping innocent people. Fun times. Shame you or the Atrisians did not kill her as well. " Siobhan said coldly, in a tone icy enough to freeze galaxies. "I suppose you succeeded and that queen Madeline is dead. I should congratulate you I guess. Why are you here?"

 

[Mirien Valdier]

Mirien sighed, "Yes, a few. Was part of the agreement she and I made." Reaching up, she rubbed slowly at her forehead, wanting every inch just to back out the door and have pretended this little encounter hadn't happened. But it had, and here they were.

"Look Sio, I heard you had gotten hurt. I merely wanted to check in and see how you were sleeping. The intent was not to wake you. I care about you, and you know that. I wouldn't still be here if I didn't." Another sigh, "I want to make it up to you somehow, if you'll let me that is...." The choice rested in Siobhan's hands at this point, not hers and she knew it. "I realize you don't trust me right now, certainly haven't given you any reason to either. Just at least let me somehow work to earn your trust back... to fix things."

[member="Siobhan Kerrigan"]

 

[Siobhan Kerrigan]

[member="Mirien Valdier"]



If looks could kill, Mirien would have spontaneously combusted right this moment. "I see," she said icily. "First you go behind my back for your vengeance trip, now that. Nice to know you're looking out for your Sith friend. Any other agreements I should know about? If she shows up on Kaeshana to find new playthings are you gonna cover for her? Give her Firemane toys? And now you think you can crawl back here and get your shiny life again? Make me trust you? You disgust me."


Every word that was spoken was deathly cold, devoid of humanity and understanding. Tranquil fury. Then abruptly Siobhan suddenly unleashed her pent-up rage in an outburst of Force energy, a telekinetic wave that would sweep towards Mirien with terrible force with the intent of slamming her into the wall behind her.

 

[Mirien Valdier]

"What did you want me to do, Sio? Lie to you? No. I won't do that. Not only that but you would know with the bond we share, so what's the point of doing anything other than tell the absolute truth to you?"She had felt the build up within the force, knew it was coming but did not react in the least to defend herself from the attack. Mirien crashed heavily into the wall, cringing as she felt the familiar snap of ribs breaking against the force.

"You know what? I deserve that much. Fine, that I can accept." She said with a cough, but did not move. "Afterall it's my mistake, my error in trying to close that part of my past. To end something that long ago should have been ended. Would you truly have done that much different from me? I'm trying to make up for a horrendous past, one I would give everything just to forget. I will spend every last day I have trying to atone for that past, for all the horrible things I've done."

"I did not want to involve you in Madeline's death. I needed her to help with the job. And in part I am responsible for her. I made her what she is. At the same token, one day I am going to have to end her. But that day wasn't today. I have no intentions to help her further. And I sure as hell didn't think that coming back in here life would be instantly shiny and happy again but damn it Sio, I want to fix it. Even if I must spend every day for the rest of my life proving to you that you can trust me, so be it. If that's what it's going to be, fine..... But for the stars' sake, at least give me the chance to try."

[member="Siobhan Kerrigan"]

 

[Siobhan Kerrigan]

[member="Mirien Valdier"]


Very slowly Siobhan arose from her bed, after Mirien had crashed into the wall. The Countess winced painfully as she took one step after the other, approaching the former Inquisitor. It was clear that Siobhan was by no means in prime shape given how heavily she was breathing, but still she walked forward.


There was a part of Siobhan that felt a strong urge to tell Mirien to get lost and kick her out. She did not owe the woman anything anymore. Mirien had broken her trust and part of her could not let go of the suspicion that she might do so again. After all, if Varanin was to be believed, the two had been friends before Mirien took a fall and lost her memory on Atrisia. A very dark part of Siobhan felt the urge to press her attack and unleash her power upon the woman. A vision flashed through her mind, of Mirien being pummelled into the wall until she was paste.


Abruptly Siobhan stopped walking, breathing heavily as she tried to shake off the gruesome image. No, the word suddenly shot through her confused, angry and upset mind. Siobhan was, to put it plainly, not a pleasant woman. Or even a particularly moral one. Calling her a good person would probably also be a stretch. She was arrogant, homicidal and egotistical. Her moods were as tempestous as the powers she unleashed, her rages terrifying.


But...she loved Mirien. She could also understand vengeance, though she felt no remorse for attacking her lover earlier. If she used violence, it would be to kill. Or not at all. Not to make someone suffer for the sake of it. I'm not a monster, as the words shot through her mind she took one step too quick and suddenly stumbled, crashing onto the carpet in the hallway. We're so fething messed up. Well, that was probably an accurate assessment at this juncture.


"You're right. I would have killed Madeline as well. I guess we are too similar sometimes. And if I see Naamah I will kill her. No, I'll expect you to do it," she said with a cough, then sighed. "This is such a fething mess. You know, I want to bloody trust you. Part of me just wants to forgive and forget and hug you...but things don't work that way." Since this was before the Second Battle of Gehenna, one of Siobhan's eyes was still organic and so tears were forming. "And I...don't know how we can make this work again."

 

[Mirien Valdier]

Mirien watched as Siobhan got up, not missing the pained wince. She still didn't move, there was no need to present herself as anything remotely threatening and in part she truly felt she deserved what she'd gotten so far. Though she did wonder if Siobhan's intent was to cause her further harm.

"Hey, easy... " Mirien said softly as she moved over to Siobhan with a hiss of pain herself. Though she did pause, a little uncertain if she should help her or not. Wondered if Siobhan wanted her help, or if that would only further enrage Sio.

She did nod, understanding completely. "Then that is what I'll do." Mirien did wonder if she'd have the strength to do so, or if she'd falter again when that day finally did come.

"I know, Siobhan. I didn't expect it to work like that. I know better."

Slowly she scooted over beside Siobhan, still a little concerned to touch her dear friend. "We'll figure it out. I know we will. I have faith in you, in us to work past this.... If you just give me the chance.... I'll figure out how to make this up to you."

Another sigh, "Eileithya did have a suggestion, but I don't know if now is the time to really talk about such." Mirien said quietly, as she reached to wipe away the first trace of tears on Siobhan's cheeks.

[member="Siobhan Kerrigan"]

 

[Siobhan Kerrigan]

[member="Mirien Valdier"]


She tensed when Mirien scooted over to her, then visibly recoiled when she felt the touch of the woman's hand on her cheek, before relaxing very slightly. "I'm bloody angry at you right now. Actually, that doesn't even describe it," she admitted, breathing more heavily than she would have liked.



"And I'm disappointed. But I still...I still...care about you. And you know what really pisses me off right now? I can't even consistently be properly pissed at you because I keep getting all those feelings from you. I end up feeling all your guilt and it makes me feel bad. I was worried about you when you were gone. Sometimes it felt like...I was feeling your pain."


A profound sigh escaped her. "I...don't want you to go."

 

[Mirien Valdier]

Mirien pulled her hand back and sighed. She didn't blame Siobhan in the least for that reaction."I know. I know...." Spoken quietly as she laid her head in her hands.

Hearing the word, disappointment, stung. She could handle anger just fine but disappointed hurt worse than anything else. "I'm sorry, Sio. For all of it." Another sigh fell from her lips, "I didn't think ... I didn't know that you'd feel my pain all this way." She still didn't entirely understand the bond they shared completely and what it did to each of them.

"I don't want to leave either. I care too damn much, and I know .... I know it's my fault. I screwed this up." Another sigh.

"I could .... be your slave for a time?" She asked softly, "I'd give up every drop of power I have for a chance to earn your trust back." It was an idea that frightened her a little, entirely giving up her power, her freedom for just a chance of something that might not work out. It would be hard enough, without a doubt. "But ... I understand if that's not something you want to do, or are ready for. Maybe I should just go away for a while, so it's easier for you to be angry, less guilt of mine hanging around that way." Not an option she wanted to take, but an option none the less.

[member="Siobhan Kerrigan"]

 

[Siobhan Kerrigan]

[member="Mirien Valdier"]


"No...I don't want you to go!" This was perhaps the first time during the conversation where Siobhan really raised her voice. Likewise she was utterly incapable of keeping her walls up, and so Mirien would suddenly be hit by a flood of rather confused emotions through their bond.


"I...do care about you. A lot. Even if I kind of hate you right now. But don't go," at that Siobhan suddenly reached, a bit hesitantly, and took Mirien's hand. Yes, she was pissed and felt betrayed, but losing Mirien would...hurt a lot. It clearly took her a few moments to get her emotions under control and actually understand what else Mirien had said. "Wait...you want to be my slave for a while? Are you...sure?" Siobhan looked and sounded shocked at the prospect.

 

[Mirien Valdier]

Mirien jumped a little as Siobhan raised her voice, fearful of the reaction and what would follow. But she nodded once the words sunk in.

"I understand, Sio." She said softly. Her eyes drifted down to Sio's hand. She gave a gentle squeeze, and sighed.

"Would it make you trust me more? And maybe get us back to where we were?" With her free hand she rubbed slowly at her eyes, "Because if the answer is yes, I have no reason not to do it. Eileithya suggested it as a way to help put things back together. Figured since I have no damn clue how else to work on fixing things, it can't hurt, can it? And while the idea of giving up my power, freedom and control .... scares me so much. If it will help, then I'll submit to you."

[member="Siobhan Kerrigan"]

 

[Siobhan Kerrigan]

[member="Mirien Valdier"]


Siobhan tightened her grip on Mirien's hand as she pulled her fellow brunette closer. Her bond sister. Truth be told, there was a part of Siobhan that did not trust herself to control Mirien in such a way. What if she went overboard and hurt her?


However, that Mirien made the offer freely without prompting from her was...touching. "Ok. I think it would...help a lot. Means a lot to me that you'd be ready to submit like that. I'd like to try it," a sigh followed. "I am...sorry for hurting you." Well, she still thought that Mirien had deserved it, but she felt bad about causing her pain, especially since now that they were so close she had a better view of the injuries the woman had sustained.

 

[Mirien Valdier]

A part of Mirien had hoped that Siobhan would not take the offer, but she did. And she knew she would most likely take it too.

"Okay, then that's what we'll do." She said softly, but a hint of nervousness could not be missed in the former Inquisitor's voice. She took a deep breath in, wincing slightly for her efforts. "It's okay, I deserved that much. So don't worry on it, I'll heal just fine in time. What's a couple broken ribs on top of everything else? Absolutely nothing really." She had gotten much worse injuries than those. "I just ... want to try and fix this, us. That's all."

[member="Siobhan Kerrigan"]

 

[Siobhan Kerrigan]

[member="Mirien Valdier"]


There was a part of Siobhan that was very intrigued by Mirien's offer. Extremely so. Fact was, Siobhan had always been attracted to power and enjoyed wielding it over others. Especially those who had power of their own. It was not a negative thrill, or so she told herself.


"Yes...but I've never wanted to add to your pain," she said softly, feeling a bit remorseful. With one hand she reached out to stroke across Mirien's cheek and cup it. "I understand that this is...difficult for you. I promise I'll respect your limits and you'll have a safe word. I won't hurt you for the sake of hurting you." Then, after some hesitation, she leaned forward and brushed her lips against Mirien's, kissing her.

 

[Mirien Valdier]

Mirien nodded slowly, and ran a hand through her own hair trying to sort through it all. "I know. I just don't want you feeling upset, over something I damn well feel I deserved." She closed her eyes as Sio brushed against her cheek, and leaned into the woman's hand. "Okay, Siobhan. I trust you." She said quietly, still feeling rather nervous about submitting completely to Sio, but a part of her knew it would be needed if she was ever going to get back on track again with her.

"I trust you." She whispered softly, before Siobhan kissed her. Gently she returned the kiss. "Just be careful, I'm far more fragile than I appear to be." She said softly as she pulled away.

[member="Siobhan Kerrigan"]