Star Wars Roleplay: Chaos

Register a free account today to become a member! Once signed in, you'll be able to participate on this site by adding your own topics and posts, as well as connect with other members through your own private inbox!

Feedback on Aster Rose Baelor!

Today marks Aster's one year anniversary on Chaos!

Yup! It has been a full year since I've created Aster and throughout the year, she has been through and has grown quite a bit! So, in order to continue her growth, I would like some feedback on her character (and my writing as well) :D

What do you think about her? What do you like about her? What can she improve on? - That kind of thing! :)
 
812weY4.gif
 
(Un)Fortunately I am the ever-stalker looking at other people's bios every time I am a little bored. That said, Aster was one of those I've seen and thanks to your thread examples I could get a glimpse of what she's doing around chaos too. I think she is an interesting character, reminds me of myself sort of and precisely because of that I feel I can give a few suggestions ^_^

Now then, I understand Aster has some sense of duty, she takes her responsibilities to the Iron Empire seriously and understands she needs to learn to control her force powers. It seems to be that she feels she needs to be strong for herself and those around her(I might be wrong, just the vibe I got) and is concerned about relatively small things like "They shouldn't be worried about me" which is a characteristic that adds to the complexity of the character, however, being lonely is not easy, nor dealing with pain on yourself or pushing your feelings deep inside. For most people, strong or weak, the stress builds and eventually those feelings explode inside you. What does this mean? Well it depends, some people simply begin to cry more often, to feel sad more often or nostalgic, others might simply just break down at one point and cry as they never did before, others may just be angry, stressed and irritated.

If you choose to focus on this side of herself it could even expand her personality a little, how will she deal with this? Will she run away from her duties? Will she open up more? Will she hide even more from those around her? As a character with troubled past, Kal deals with his problems mostly by trying to focus on the present and the future, as the past doesn't have much to give him, his picture is suggestive in this case, a dark place, a shady figure(him), lonely holding the only thing that is beautiful and pure in that wicked place. What I'm trying to say with this is that a person can evolve in many ways.

Moving on, I see that she was involved in some dangerous stuff and the like, but as a princess of the Iron Empire, perhaps she'd need to attend to political matters too, maybe there is some feast held by a noble family, a good way to gain favor, maybe she needs to act as a diplomat? Perhaps she wants to learn more about ruling, managing or politics. The fact she is uncomfortable around men would pose a problem in this area of expertise, but then again, this is another way you can go, trying to make her overcome this, will she succeed? Will she fail? Will she grow to just hate men altogether?

Well those may not be much... but I hope I gave you a few ideas, I see you have some ties with the silver jedi too so if you ever need, I'm always up for any kind of roleplay and since Kal is around her age(19) perhaps it would make it easier for her to make friends or just learn something new about those "out there"

HOWEVER! As one wise man said: "Beware the advice, even this one." so yeah, these are mere suggestions, your character can grow in many different ways.

[member="Aster Rose Baelor"]
 
[member="Kal Visna"]

Thank you for taking the time to through Aster's character sheet, threads, and write feedback! I really appreciate it. :)

You bring up some excellent suggestions in your feedback and I'll be sure to keep them in mind when I write her. I sometimes get tunnel vision and become so focused on fleshing out certain aspects of her character I neglect everything else and end up at a loss of what to do as a result. >.<

If you have any ideas for stories, feel free to PM me - I just hope that you don't mind me being a slow writer. :/
 
No problem at all! I just happened to look. The fact that you have problems with these things is normal, I can say that as a writer, you're not trying to create just a character, but a person which is no easy task.
As a side note... something that I forgot to mention, you can use the "see where it takes you" method, basically you do exactly what that character would do at any given time and then you see where he/she takes you, what they become, J.R.R Tolkien used this, at the beginning he had absolutely no idea Who Strider truly was.

As for the writing, no worries, I never actually mind this sort of stuff, It doesn't bother me no matter how long it takes. :)

Don't let anything discourage you, everything you need is one step forward, [member="Aster Rose Baelor"]
 
[member="Kal Visna"]

I like using the "see where it takes you method" too. I don't usually plan ahead and just write what Aster would do in whatever situation she finds herself in!

Also, thanks for the encouragement. :D
 
When in doubt, be cruel to your characters.

Your bio's gorgeous, your posts are really nicely made. Aster's interesting and has a lot of potential - you have a lot of traits that you can flesh out and weaknesses to exploit or overcome at your leisure.

What I always say is to write with new people and try new things, put her through all sorts of weird and wacky and painful scenarios and see how she comes out. For Aster in particular, as far as I can see she hasn't interacted with any darksiders a whole lot. With Jedi it's always fun to test how they deal with inner conflict, even if you don't end up failing at staying Jedi as spectacularly as some of us do (points awkwardly at self).

But overall, good going, keep doing you.

[member="Aster Rose Baelor"]
 
[member="Aria Vale"]

Awww, you're too sweet! Thank you :D

Yup! You're correct, she hasn't interacted with any PC darksiders at all. In fact, I think the only time she has interacted with NPC darksiderswas during the Csilla Rebellion a year ago. :/ Thank you for pointing this out to me - this is something I've completely overlooked because of my tunnel vision. ^^;

[member="Mako Suruzashi"]

Thank you! :)
 

Users who are viewing this thread

Top Bottom