Feedback on Ferus.

[Coren Starchaser]

If you spend all your time worrying about what other's think of you, you don't put enough thought into what YOU think of you, who you really are. You become a chameleon and then you end up just being a reflection of what others want and not what you actually are.

 

[Break]

When can we start a badass thread together?
XD

 

[Khallesh]

[member="Darth Ferus"]

If the disdain for this character seems that strong, have you considered putting him down for a time and working on something different?

People are more likely to be receptive to a fresh approach from something new. It also shows off your ability to flesh out unique and interesting characters.

 

[Isamu Baelor]

My reaction to joking or one liners for feedback is pretty simple. I made this thread to get real feedback. If that's not going to be offered, please, don't clutter this thread.

Very well. I'll be blunt.

The Shadow of the Dark Lord is now a kawaii desu~ anime girl. It undermines whatever credibility he had.

That is not to say that there is anything wrong with anime avatars in general. However, to have one of the most notable, and powerful, Sith Lords inhabit the body of prepubescent animoo girl is absurd.

 

[Rapax]

i am forced to agree with [member="Isamu Baelor"]'s statement before this he had some amount of credibility had a body that showed his power. Now he is in a small girl who looks like she can barely harm a fly. Ferus is a good character until that point....now i dont know what to expect from this new little girl ferus.

[member="Darth Ferus"]

 

[Ellie Mors]

On one hand, the Ferus that was a master of Shaping (of Kro Var) and close quarters combat, with alchemy on the side, and used them in tandem to perform neat combination strikes is neat. On the other, I've noticed that he had moved into rather unrelated fields - teleportation, art of the small (at the drop of a dime in combat), and some other rather different abilities. I think this detracts from the character, rather than enhances him.

On the topic of plot, as I alluded to earlier, I look forward to the coup d'etat. It is a little stereotypical of canon Sith, I suppose, but on the board that seems to have become pretty non-existent since the rise of the One Sith. To see someone finally go about actually doing that is a nice change of pace. I, personally, think such is suicide, but I look forwards to it with some interest.

 

[Darth Ferus]

[member="Bianca"]

It's definitely suicide, and I certainly look forward to his eventual or sudden death, how ever it may go. The teleportation is certainly new though. I base a lot of Ferus's skills off of Swtor game skills, as I came from ingame RP that was based around it. The teleportation is a new skill the Sith Assassin class has that lets them move short distances without breaking stealth, according to the game at least. Figured it would be good to have some sort of Assassin skill for Ferus.

But to counter Art of the Small. It was the first ability Ferus had learned when he became a knight years ago, and it was his only stealth skill. Recently yes, I have been trying (and failing terribly) with writing the atomic side, something I should never have chosen to do, and wont be again.

[member="Isamu Baelor"]

The avatars not actually prepubescent. Though, I can't tell with Anime to begin with.

However, Ferus has failed as the Shadow of the Dark Lord. Not because he's suddenly an ignorable girl, but because everyone knew what he looked like. The head assassin shouldn't be very well known. What better to sneak into enemy lands then a small girl crying? Soldiers would take pity, and with a bit of persuasion they could take her right to the camp he needed to get in.

Though I am changing the avatar. Being stuck on my phone makes that difficult, but I wouldn't worry about how she looks right now.

Also, thank you both for taking the time to write those out.

 

[Darth Ferus]

[member="Khallesh"]

I have an alt list full of attempts at just that. Writing new characters is very, very hard now. For the last couple of years I've only written Ferus. I'm up to try new things, even have several plans, I just can't think of what to type and I don't have enough time to figure it out.

 

[Darth Ophidia]

I think Ferus needs to focus. As of late, his focus and his array of powers an interests seems scattered in a bad way.

The part I may have the most problem with is the whole thing with the absorbed alchemical souls, regrowing limbs and all that. It just strikes me as a bit much. I preferred interacting with him when he had his strengths and weaknesses more mapped out and defined. He appeared more mortal, and that made him, paradoxically, stronger. Sure, it worked if it was the beginning of the end, but as it is? He's lost something vital.

And the part of him being an assassin, but also quite "in your face", I liked that. He could be sneaky if he needed to, but most of the time went straight on, and that made him interesting and special. That's the Darth Ferus I miss interacting with.

Also, the avatar is a bit mismatched with his skills and reputation. Sure that's a way to throw people off, but is it really his way?

I could probably have mentioned something sooner, but this is your character. I wouldn't like it if you came along and dictated how I should write Ophidia. However, since you now ask for it; there you have it.

[member="Darth Ferus"]

 

[Davezilla10]

I haven't personally encountered your char before but from what I hear and read your an excellent writer with a great char and how did you master so many skill holocrons? Lots of masters? Anyways keep up the good writing