Finding Tranquility

[Allyson Locke]

Allyson nodded in response, sitting there she felt a little silly. There was nothing going on but just breathing and sitting. How was this supposed to help her in the long run? Moving slightly, she pushed her shoulders back to stretch the muscles in her back. It felt good, but the rock under her wasn’t the most comfortable thing.

A slightly chuckle came out under her breath as she remembered the Jedi that would hover while they meditated. She wondered if they did that so that they wouldn’t sit on the hard ground for long.

Sitting there, Allyson continued to focus on her breathing and just thinking about how relaxed she felt at this moment. It was a good feeling, though she felt things starting to creep up, she did her best to keep her focus on her breathing.

One hazel eye opened as she looked towards the Jedi who was also doing the exercise. “Uh, how long do I focus on breathing… I feel like I’m going to forget how to do it soon.”

[member="Jyoti Nooran"]

 

[Eugen Aker]

"For as long as it takes," Jyoti replied almost distractedly, eyes still closed. "There is no quick fix here. You're just going to have to go through the motions until you can master this exercise."

Finally, she opened her eyes. "The first time, you lasted about five minutes before you lost focus. The second time, about ten minutes. Ideally, we would like to make it through a typical session, which is about thirty minutes."

"Tell me though, while you were focused, how did you feel?"

[member="Allyson Locke"]

 

[Allyson Locke]

Allyson looked up towards the blue sky and pondered Jyoti’s question. When the woman put a time frame on her capabilities of staying focused, it made Allyson blush slightly embarrassed. Staring at the sky, Ally uncrossed her legs and leaned back on her arms.

She remained quiet for a moment thinking back to the short amount of time she had been focused. Tilting her head side to side she mused quietly. “Uh the first time I felt weird to be honest. Sitting on a rock just breathing.”

Remembering the conversation they had at the hospital about disciple, Allyson sighed and figured this was part of that. “The second time, I actually felt relaxed. Even in that small amount of time - I actually feel like my old self.”

Adjusting her sitting, she sat fully up and looked towards the other woman. “I feel better, not so suffocated.”

Her smile faded slightly, “So I have to do this till I can do it for 30 minutes? What if I fall asleep?”

[member="Jyoti Nooran"]

 

[Eugen Aker]

"You see, they're just memories."

She slid off her boulder, then approached Allyson, coming up to to the Corellian's chest level from her position.

"They can't hurt you. The anxiety isn't real." She reached up, pressing the flat of her palm against Allyson's chest. "This is real. I'm here, you are safe."

Allyson asked her about falling asleep, which made her chuckle a bit. "Mmm, if you fall asleep, then be careful that you're not on a boulder."

She stepped back, beckoning for Allyson to join her on the ground.

"Why don't we keep walking? I suddenly find myself with the rest of the afternoon free."

[member="Allyson Locke"]

 

[Allyson Locke]

Sliding off the boulder, Allyson took a moment to take advantage of their moment of seclusion. When she landed on the ground, the Corellian reached out and pulled the Jedi close. A lingering hug with a tender kiss, “My afternoon is open as well.”

-------

Few weeks later…

Nothing exciting had happened for Allyson, the nightmares lingered yet with the calming effect of the meditation training she had been able to get more sleep than usual. Feeling rested helped with keeping her grounded for the most part, this morning was a bit different. A spinning feeling forced her from her sleep and Allyson stared straight up at the ceiling of not her room. Blinking quickly there was more than the usual buzzing of electronic life.

Every nerve ending felt alive as she stared at the ceiling still trying to recover from the vertigo. Allyson laid there forgetting how to breath for a moment, but as the spinning concluded she gasped for air and sat up.

Looking around her remnants of a movie night lingered and she looked to her side, it was still extremely early miraculously, the white haired echani next to her hadn’t woken up just yet. “Jyoti?” Allyson gently nudged the woman a few times as she was trying to figure out why everything around her was all of a sudden so alive.

[member="Jyoti Nooran"]

 

[Eugen Aker]

Jyoti didn't exactly sleep in the conventional sense, more like go into a standby mode as her body was recalibrated and optimized. So she was quick to open her eyes after Allyson started nudging her.

"Yes?"

There was no state of grogginess for the cyborg. As soon as her eyes fluttered open, she was awake and alert. Completely bare, she wound part of the covers tightly around her chest as she propped herself up against the headboard.

Allyson looked like she had just seen a ghost. The Echani's silver eyes narrowed as her attention was now completely focused on her.

Something was different.

[member="Allyson Locke"]

 

[Allyson Locke]

It was something that she had gotten used to, the way Jyoti woke up. Sometimes when Allyson was trying to get over tiredness from a mission or something else she was slightly jealous of the cyborg. On typical mornings, when she stayed over – she would have protested the other woman covering herself. Today though was severely different and Allyson wondered if the Jedi had any answers.

She usually did, which was helpful. Allyson reached at the end of the bed and pulled on a white tank top as she tried to gather some thoughts. She felt as if even the fabric of her shirt pulling over her bare skin was brand new.

A hand pinched the bridge of her nose as her eyes shut tightly trying to get a grip. She needed to figure out what she felt so she could explain to the woman beside her. After a few moments of silence Allyson just went with what came to mind.

“I feel everything. I know you hate it, but its-its like when I was on spice, but better.” The more she thought about it she remembered back to Kiara and dropped her hand. “Its like Kiara.”

[member="Jyoti Nooran"]

 

[Eugen Aker]

Jyoti initially gave Allyson a quizzical expression, confused by her words. Mention of drugs, and their affair on Kiara, the connection didn't click.

Not until she had more time to focus on Allyson. The sensation she found alien to the woman was actually quite familiar.

There had been an awakening.

Before, Allyson had only appeared like a blip within the Force, her abilities restricted to just two techniques. Now the Force flowed strongly like any other Force Sensitive.

Her jaw went slack, while her eyes widened to the size of saucers. Her heart fluttered from giddiness. She could scarcely believe what she was feeling at that moment.

"Okay...okay. I think I know what's going on," she replied, barely able to contain her excitement. "But I need you to go back over what you just said. What exactly are you feeling right now?"

[member="Allyson Locke"]

 

[Allyson Locke]

Allyson picked up on Jyoti’s excitement, the Corellian silently questioned it as she tried to sort her own thoughts. The woman beside her seemed to have a better handle as to what was going on than Allyson did. The hand fell from her face as she looked towards the Jedi with a confused look on her face.

“You sound way too excited.” It was oddly comforting though, the excitement. If Jyoti wasn’t worried then it might not be something terrible. Despite it feeling weird, she exhaled and tried to relax. “Back over?” Allyson looked away and back towards the ceiling trying to grip what she was feeling. Everything wouldn’t describe it as much as she wanted it to.

“I’m assuming emotions isn’t what you’re asking, but feeling…uh” Why were the words escaping her? She had felt this before, but not on this scale. Usually the feeling she had was from the electromagnetic fields that surrounded machines as it interacted with the Force, now it was just everywhere.

“Everything? I feel everything. It feels as if something has connected me to everything, not just technology, but to life?” Allyson did her best to explain it, but the more she talked the more idiotic she felt she sounded. “It feels like I just had a band aid ripped off of my skin and that cool air is just making everything, every nerve stand up and be aware of its existence.”

“I feel alive?” Allyson hung her head, wondering if any of this made sense. “I feel so stupid trying to explain this.” The Corellian chuckled lightly as she started to feel relaxed seeing as this wasn’t something hopefully life threatening. Scary, but it wasn’t going to kill her, hopefully.

[member="Jyoti Nooran"]

 

[Eugen Aker]

Allyson explained her reactions with greater detail, which all but confirmed Jyoti's suspicions. Her latent abilities had been unlocked, but how?

"Last night went better than I thought," she joked with a chuckle, breaking out into a big smile. "But seriously, this is amazing."

She leaned over and reeled Allyson into a hug with an arm, pressing her face into her neck for a few soft kisses. This was seriously the best thing that could have happened between them.

She pulled back, full of questions.

"Thinking about it...maybe it had something the do with the training you've done with me and Josh? Just how much instruction in the Force have you received before that point?"

She knew that Kaili had been her teacher for Mechu Deru, though instinctive astrogation seemed to be something she picked up on her own (it was instinctive after all). She considered that Allyson's past teacher(s) hadn't been as thorough.

[member="Allyson Locke"]

 

[Allyson Locke]

Allyson chuckled at the Echani’s joke. To think if that was possible, it would be amazing – it always was anyways. The soft kisses helped ease the Corellian’s final knot of nerves as she hugged the other woman and listened to what she had to say.

“With Josh and you? Maybe. Josh and I have mostly been keeping the Force out of it – but the meditation.” Allyson thought quietly, “It has helped me more than just keep my nightmares in check. I just feel at ease and comfortable.” On top of the training it could even be that she was in an area that had so many force users – Jedi just around her. Before all of this she was mostly alone or with another person such as Ember or Kaili.

“Yeah, Kaili picked up on how I was with technology and then we just went forward with that. Ember was the first one to pick up that I was force sensitive. Both tried to teach me things, but nothing worked, and we just left it at that.” Allyson shrugged. “So, what does this all mean?”

[member="Jyoti Nooran"]

 

[Eugen Aker]

Jyoti nodded along as Allyson spoke, stroking the Corellian's forearms to provide her with some comfort.

"I see. I wish I could take credit for what happened, but it also could have been you using your existing abilities for a while, coupled with your exposure to Jedi. Maybe we'll never quite know, but the important thing is what to do moving forward."

She had an answer ready for Allyson, but she was hesitant to speak it out, fearing rejection again. It was a subject they had argued about before.

She let out a sigh, then locked her eyes on Allyson's.

"Allyson...I'd like to train you...as a Jedi. Maybe that was the key all along?"

[member="Allyson Locke"]

 

[Allyson Locke]

The panic that Allyson felt had subsided and she listened to Jyoti and to this new feeling that swirled around her. So this was what it was like to have a connection, she compared it to a blanket and it helped having Jyoti here to answer her questions. The light caresses on her arms made a soft smile cross her face.

“Moving forward with it would be a good idea. Will take some time getting used to.” A hand patted the hand that was touching her arm as she chuckled. “Well if you look at it this way, the only reason I’m here at the Rest is because of you. So, considering everything you can take credit all you want, love.”

Allyson looked at Jyoti as the woman’s face changed slightly. There was something more coming her way and Allyson braced herself. Jyoti asked, and Allyson held her breath as she remembered their arguments before. Stubbornness was like second nature to the Corellian, but she had learned a bit more about the Jedi and didn’t feel as against them as before.

“I want to say yes, but I don’t know if I’d make a good Jedi. I don’t want to disappoint you…I’m just an ex smuggler who decided to try and make good of the cards that was dealt to her.” She gave Jyoti’s hand a squeeze as she smiled. The thought of maybe being a Jedi was interesting and a part of her had always wanted to be one but seeing who they were – Allyson doubted she could ever live up to that.

“I was wrong about the Jedi and being here at the Rest has shown me that. Maybe I could give it a try. I don't know.”

[member="Jyoti Nooran"]

 

[Eugen Aker]

Jyoti snorted and gave Allyson a light rap on the arm, fully expecting that sort of answer.

"Honey...you've done more the galaxy than several self-purported Jedi Masters, too busy finger wagging acting like gatekeepers. I can't speak for everyone, but at the Silver Order, we're all here because we want to help others in need. That's what it's all about at the end of the day."

"You've lived among us for a while now. We're all sentients with our own feelings and desires same as you. Being a Jedi doesn't turn you into an emotionless automatons - well with a few exceptions."

She snorted again, a clear reference to her own predicament.

She squeezed back, the kissed her on the forehead. "You'll never disappoint me by trying. Maybe the Jedi track won't work out, but that's okay. I'll still be here with you no matter what."

"So why don't we give it a go?"

[member="Allyson Locke"]

 

[Allyson Locke]

It was good to hear that she had done something good for the galaxy. After nearly dying twice, it made that worth something. Allyson couldn't help but laugh at the comment about some of the other masters. Jyoti wasn't wrong and that's what made it funny.

Allyson mused over what was ahead of her and she smiled. Part of her was excited to see what all of this meant, it also allowed her to enter the world that she always looked in on with Jyoti.

“Few things, I’m not going to call you Master - I already have to call you General during missions.” the Corellian stuck out her tongue and then continued happily, “No robes, I don't think I could get used to wearing pajamas everywhere.”

[member="Jyoti Nooran"]

 

[Eugen Aker]

Her stomach knotted as she awaited a response from Allyson. She hadn't outright rejected her proposal, but she was still nervous. However, her body immediately went slack with relief as Allyson answered.

She laughed a little, then hugged on Allyson some more.

"Don't knock the robes until you try them, and what do you mean about not calling me master? You never head a problem before."

She smirked, gently patting her lover on the thigh.

"So, when do you want to get started? I need to proceed with an assessment to gauge your abilities now."

[member="Allyson Locke"]

 

[Allyson Locke]

Allyson's face turned a bright red as Jyoti made the comment about being called Master. Nudging the Jedi slightly responding to the tease, Allyson shook her head. “I think you enjoy me calling you that a bit too much.”

There was an air of excitement and happiness to the Corellian. Allyson wrapped her arms around the Echani’s waist and nuzzled into her shoulder.

“I have nothing planned today and it would let me spend more time with you. So if you don't have anything planned, we could start today… of course after breakfast.”

[member="Jyoti Nooran"]

 

[Eugen Aker]

"Mmm, just keeping you honest," she replied before pecking her on the lips. "I had some admin work today, but that can wait. So yes, let's get started after breakfast."

She twisted around so that she Allyson's torso, looking down at the Corellian with hungry eyes.

"Scratch that, after brunch it is."

------------------​

Later that day, the pair had assembled in the gardens behind the temple, alone in a semi-secluded corner of tall hedges that towered above them by several meters. The sky was clear, but the air was still wonderfully cool, just to the Echani's liking.

She sat with Allyson on one of the low stone benches, shuffling a deck of metallic cards.

"So this first test is pretty simple, designed to test ESP - extrasensory perception. I'm going to hold up some cards, then you describe the image you see on the front face."

After shuffling the deck a few more times, she picked out a card and held it up to chest level, doing her best to keep a wall between Allyson and her own thoughts so that she couldn't just glean the information that way.

[member="Allyson Locke"]

 

[Allyson Locke]

The morning went and came, Allyson followed Jyoti towards the clearing. She really had no idea what to expect, though she did hope it included lightsabers and some rock throwing. Her mind ran a mile a minute as she imagined herself doing some awesome Jedi things like in the holo films.

Being guided into the seat by Jyoti, Allyson adjusted herself and watched the Jedi settle in. Metal cards were brought out and Allyson raised an eyebrow. “Oh, I try and stay away from gambling.” A quick joke, but Jyoti went onto explain what they were going to do. A slow blink and Allyson looked at the back side of the card.

“How am I supposed to tell you what’s on it?” What was this extra sensory thing Jyoti was talking about? Allyson frowned as she stared at the back of the card, all she saw was the ornate design and nothing more. Sighing, she wondered if this morning was a fluke, but she decided to try and focus. She did say she would.

“Uh okay.” Closing her eyes, she focused on the card trying to see something past the design on the back. “I see red swirls? Dark, big swords and a guy in armor holding it.” Opening one of her eyes she looked over at her lover’s face hopefully getting some sort of hint that she had gotten something along those lines right.

[member="Jyoti Nooran"]

 

[Eugen Aker]

Jyoti looked at Allyson for a moment, then back at the card, eyebrow raised.

"Wow, you may want to rethink that career in gambling. You were totally off the mark. Let's try this again."

Of course, she was lying, but it was an important test for Allyson. Learning to trust her instincts, but to also question Jyoti's authority and promote critical thinking.

She kept holding up the very same card as before, awaiting another response.

[member="Allyson Locke"]