Ghosts of the Past

[Cynnamon Crane]

@[member="Hawk Solo"]

"He doesn't know he has a child but that's because I have not seen him for awhile until now." She paused for a moment and took a sip of her milkshake. She knew one day Maddie would ask about her father so yes she agreed with him that it was sad she didn't know her father. Cynna didn't want her to grow up with out one but she couldn't ask him to be one. "It was why I wanted to see you. There is no easy way to say this so I just will come out with it. Maddie is your daughter. I would have said something sooner but you vanished and I couldn't find you." Sighing she ran a finger along the rim of her milkshake letting it sink in for him. She had no idea how he would take this.

 

[Hawk Solo]

@[member="Cynnamon Crane"]

Hawk frowns. "Cynna not to sound like a jerk..but how do know it my kid? It could be anyone kid. A lot of people have blue eyes. We weren't exclusive." He says defensively. He couldn't be Maddie father. He would sense it. She would have the force. "Anyway I want a DNA test." Internally he was panicking. He didn't have time to be someone Dad. He wasn't ready for that.

 

[Cynnamon Crane]

@[member="Hawk Solo"]

This was why she hadn't said anything in front of her daughter. Cynnamon had been worried that he would react like this. She wasn't looking for him to be a father or be in her life at all. The two of them were just fine the way that they were. Telling him was just the right thing to do even if he was being an ass about it. "I'm not looking for you to be a father but you can have your DNA test. Whatever you want or need to prove to you that you are the father." Cynna had been exclusive and she had fallen hard for him but it seemed it had only been here. His words cut her but she wasn't going to get angry at him as that would solve nothing. The way he was acting made her want to just walk out now and say forget the whole thing. She stayed though for Maddie because her little girl deserved to know her father if at all possible.

 

[Hawk Solo]

@[member="Cynnamon Crane"]
@[member="Iella E`ron"]

"Good I want a DNA." He knew he was being a big jerk but he was freaking out. He couldn't be someone dad right now. "Frak I thought we were being careful. This is so bad, Cynna. Here I am trying to get my life straighten out and be re." He trails off he was about to say responsible.

"Sorry..I". He really didn't know what to say. He pushes his shake away. "I need something stronger than this." He felt the weight of world on his shoulders. He was anger and confused right. He really needed to talk to his master. He was so mad at Cynna for getting pregnant. Was she trying to the whole to trap him into marrying her.

 

[Cynnamon Crane]

@[member="Hawk Solo"]

"This is bad for you, or at least that it what you think. Maddie is the best thing to ever happen to me. I'm not asking you to be a father or be in her life. I know your trying to turn yourself around. I just wanted you to know that you were a father. What you do with this information is up to you." Sighing she pushed her shake away from her. It was obvious that he needed more time, a lot more time to process this information. It would be best if she left him alone for now besides she was no longer hungry.

The fact that he could think this, Maddie, was bad hurt her. The little girl was nothing but love and sweetness. He should be so lucky to have a daughter like her and instead of embracing it he was ruining every chance he had to play a part in her life. He could have his silly little test and than he could leave them alone.

"I think it's best I leave you for now before I end up saying something I regret."

 

[Hawk Solo]

@[member="Iella E`ron"] @[member="Cynnamon Crane"]

"No, you stay. I'll go. Sorry I'm not reacting the way you thought I would. This isn't a fairy tale. It is real life." He stands. He digs out some money and leaves it on the table.

"I'll contact you when I get the test set up." He walks out of the burger joint with a stun look om his face. He felt like he was hit by landspeeder. It was easy for her. She had two years to get use to the idea.

He really needed to find a bar and get roaring drunk tonight. He hopes that he doesn't run into his Master tonight.

 

[Coci Heavenshield]

@[member="Hawk Solo"], @[member="Cynnamon Crane"]


Iella was in a hurry, she had spent the night down in the lower levels of Coruscant gathering information from contacts, she like to keep the contacts alive .. by spending time with them even if she did not acquire information of any importance, but she knew she needed to keep the irons burning. She raced up the Jedi Temple stair way heading for the main entrance, she had no soon reached the top and walked across the marbled platform when she saw Hawk. She slowed her pace and smiled, but that only lasted for a moment. A strong emotional surge filling his presence in the force made her brow knit.

"Hawk, it is a pleasant day. How do you find this day?", she asked more from a sense of concern and inquiry.

 

[Cynnamon Crane]

@[member="Hawk Solo"]

She was crushed by his reaction but not because she was hoping for a fairy tale family with him but because of the way he mentioned her daughter. Cynna was fully aware that this was real life. She had to change her life around to fit Maddie in it. She changed her focus from what was good for herself to what was good for her daughter. She had been along throughout her pregnancy and now was raising her daughter all alone with no help. She didn't ask for help or complain. She just did what she had to do.

After he left she got up herself and begun to make her way home. She wanted to cry but knew that would solve nothing. If she was lucky she would make it home in time to tuck Maddie in and read her a bedtime story. Even though she was upset herself there was no time for that besides her daughter always put a smile on her face.

 

[Hawk Solo]

@[member="Iella E`ron"] @[member="Cynnamon Crane"]

He spents the next couple of hours in a bar drinking shots of whiskey. It was almost dawn by the time he was heading back to the Temple. The drinking didn't improve his mood. He was still hurt and anger at the situation. He hoped to be able to sneak into the Temple without seeing anyone. That dream ended when he spot his Master. Frak. He wasn't looking his best. His eyes were bloodshot. He smelled of smoke and booze.

"Not good. It been frakked up day." He says with snarling. "How was your day?"

 

[Coci Heavenshield]

@[member="Hawk Solo"] @[member="Cynnamon Crane"]

Iella dismissed the tone of his voice for the moment, he looked a mess and clearly without even using the force, something was wrong. "Fruitful", is all she said of her day, well night. She took slow steps toward him now and stood in front of him, effectively blocking his way for the moment.

"Hawk, you are spitting out anger and strong heightened emotions, your aura is pulsing with it, what the in blazers has happened?", she asked expecting an answer.

 

[Hawk Solo]

@[member="Iella E`ron"] @[member="Cynnamon Crane"]

"Sorry Iella. I'm not mad at you." he says trying to apologize for his attitude. "I'm just hurt. I just don't understand. My life is totally frakked up. She claims the kid is mine. Yeah she has my eyes but a lot people have blue eyes. Right." He says babbling. "That doesn't mean it my kid. And if it is.. what the frak I'm going to do? I don't have time for kid. I'm in the middle of my training."

 

[Coci Heavenshield]

@[member="Hawk Solo"] @[member="Cynnamon Crane"]

Iella's eye widened as he spoke. This news is big indeed and now very clear why his is an emotional wreck. "Lets walk" she said turning to stroll around the upper part of the outer Temple area.

"Now, clearly you have discovered you have a child. I don't know the circumstances of this, and that is your business. However, a child will not be a problem with continuing your training, unless you make it so", she said. "There is room for both". After all Iella would not deny anyone the pleasure of children and having them around .. she recently had given birth to two herself and knows the value and beauty of them.

"But you are unsure of this? you have doubt as to whether the child is yours? .. why". she asked a bit confused on this point.

 

[Cynnamon Crane]

Cynnamon arrived at home to find that luckily her daughter was still awake. She was grateful for this because at the moment she really did need some sort of distraction from everything the night had gone terribly.

After getting little Maddie all bathed up and tucked into bed she read her a story. One of her favorite princess fairytales where everyone lived happily ever after at the end of the day. It wasn't real life but it was cute and it was alright for her daughter to believe in such things. Real life sucked and that was the last thing that she wanted to teach her or tell her that daddy doesn't want you. She wanted Maddie to stay in her blissfully happy bubble for as long as she possibly could.

Once the little one had fallen asleep, before the story was over, Cynna lightly kissed her little one on the forehead before turning the light off and going to her own room. She wasn't tired herself but instead had decided to stay up and read.

 

[Hawk Solo]

@[member="Iella E`ron"] @[member="Cynnamon Crane"]

Hawk walks with Iella as they talk. "I haven't seen Cynna in a couple years. We didn't end well. She got serious. I panicked and took off without saying goodbye." He knew he didn't have to tell Iella all of this but he wanted to talk about it with someone. "A couple of days ago, I have one of my visions of her. I hadn't thought of her since I left." He says lying to himself and Iella.

"Anyways if this kid was mine..I would sense her through the force. The force is strong in my family. Has to be someone else kid right? She has no right to upset my life? If it turns out it is my kid. Than what? The girl Maddie is two years old. What do I do than?"

 

[Coci Heavenshield]

@[member="Hawk Solo"] @[member="Cynnamon Crane"]

"Not necessarily .. it seems to be your connection to force .. when informed of your daughter would have been clouded and not open to receive her presence, that is a strong possibility. So now, calm your mind and concentrate, focus on .. Maddie and tell me what you sense in this", she asked.

"Whether or not your relationship ended badly is of no importance. The only thing now that is important .. is your daughter. It is clear that the mother of your child has sacrificed much. It is the woman in this situation that is faced with this and she has given up her life to that of her daughters. Remember that Hawk. The mother's life has been .. upset as well". she continued and considered him more. "It seems to me that you wish for this child not to be ours, you are grasping at the idea but I think deep down you know the truth. Will you abandon her for selfish reasons Hawk? simply because you are not ready, no one is every ready for this even when it is planned. But ask yourself .. what is the ramification of your actions if you are to deny her. Think very carefully on this".

 

[Hawk Solo]

@[member="Iella E`ron"] @[member="Cynnamon Crane"]

"Ok." He closes his eyes awhile taking a deep breath to calm his mind of all his fears and doubts. Once he had calm down and is able to focus. He can feel Maddie's presence in the force. She was his daughter.

He opens his eyes. "She is mine. Frak. I really messed things up. I won't abandon my daughter. I couldn't do that. Just not ready for that responsible. I'm not sure what Cynna expect from me. But I do need to apologize to her for my reaction. And go from there. I hope you don't mind..I need to take a couple of days off from training."

 

[Coci Heavenshield]

@[member="Hawk Solo"] @[member="Cynnamon Crane"]

"Of course Hawk take the time you need", she said with a smile. "And you will find this will be a blessing in your life, but no more talk with me. Go to them now. And... take Cynna the biggest bunch of flowers you can lay your hands on.. she will need something to throw at you in her anger", she said with a wink.

 

[Hawk Solo]

@[member="Iella E`ron"] @[member="Cynnamon Crane"]

"Thank you. I will do that." He says with a small smile. He felt better having talked to Iella. Now it was time to make it right. He gives Iella a quick hug than runs down the stairs of Temple. Now to find a store open that has flowers.

It took him some time to find a store open at 3am. He brought a dozen red roses and a small teddy bear. Carrying them he made his way to Cynna's place. He didn't have her address but force was guiding him to them.

He gently knocks on the door. It was pretty early in the morning. He didn't want to wake up Maddie.

 

[Cynnamon Crane]

@[member="Hawk Solo"]

She was surprised to hear the door rap at 3am. Who in the world would do that? Didn't they know she was sleeping and shouldn't they be sleeping? Grabbing her blaster for safety she slowly opened the door to see Hawk standing there with flowers and a teddy bear. What did he want now? Was he looking to further insult her or her daughter?

"What do you want?" She questioned stepping outside and closing the door. She was not pleased to see him again after what happened earlier this evening. She wanted him as far away from her daughter as possible. The last thing she needed was him hurting her. He could do whatever he wished to her. He couldn't hurt her anymore.

 

[Hawk Solo]

@[member="Cynnamon Crane"]

"Hi, theses are for you and Maddie." He hands her the flowers and teddy bear. "I am so sorry about the way I acted. I freaked out. I know that she is my daughter. We don't have to take a test. I just know." He prepares himself to be slap or hit by her. He deserved. "I was a jerk."