Growing Pains

[Trextan Voidstalker]

[SIZE=9pt]“I have been visited by many, over a very long period of time,” Master Tikanni replied. “Many from a Jedi Order who appeared to be what came over my own. They told me that emotional attachment, possessions and other such frivolities were eschewed. Their argument was that the fear of loss and other dark emotions could stem from this.” [/SIZE]

[SIZE=9pt]Master Tikanni paused and looked between them both. “What do you think of this Trextan?”[/SIZE]

[SIZE=9pt]“Well...I'm not…”[/SIZE]

[SIZE=9pt]“Take a moment and compose your thoughts,” the gatekeeper suggested. Trextan did, falling silent for a few seconds.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=9pt]His eyes lifted towards Choli a few times. If he lost her it would hurt, but would that turn him back to the dark side of the Force? But what if he wanted to be with her but could not?[/SIZE]

[SIZE=9pt]“Wouldnt there always be temptation?” He asked rhetorically. “Learning how to deal with emotions and still being a good person seems to be a more sensible route than avoiding it entirely. I think I should figure out how to do the right thing than following strict rules. I won't learn that way.”[/SIZE]

[SIZE=9pt]He hadn't decided that the Sith had manipulated him just because Jacen had told him so. In the end he has to accept that himself after a lot of thought.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=9pt]“When I was fighting on a station I knew Choli was in danger. But I also knew I couldn't abandon innocent people to rush to her. I had to decide that on my own. It didn't make me do the wrong thing because…”[/SIZE]

[SIZE=9pt]“You had an emotional attachment.” Tikanni gave a nod after finishing the sentence. “So sometimes the slow path to learning is better than the quick one?”[/SIZE]

[SIZE=9pt]Trextan shared a slightly guilty look in Choli's direction after his confession and drawing it into his answer. It took a moment to realise that the conversation had come full circle since his first question. Had that been the gatekeeper’s intention?[/SIZE]

 

[Choli Vyn]

[member="Trextan Voidstalker"]

[SIZE=9pt]He’d struggled with coming to my aid back at the station?[/SIZE][SIZE=9pt]Choli was taken aback, the surprise bathing her face. Why would he? The Rogue first thought, only to follow that very same path and consider what had occurred during that sandstorm back on Tatooine. How angry, concerned, and upset she’d been to find out that Trextan had gone wandering out into the storm due to some inkling by the Force. That immediately prompted a scowl to replace the surprise. [/SIZE]

[SIZE=9pt]Not one to hold her thoughts, the Rogue immediately said, “Will the Force purposely put you in situations that will risk your life?” It was evident just [/SIZE][SIZE=9pt]what[/SIZE][SIZE=9pt] Choli was referencing. This one was going to be a doozy. [/SIZE]

[SIZE=9pt]There was no shame in Choli’s expression. Nor did she mean to bring it up to cause embarrassment to Trextan. It just didn’t make any sense to her to have someone follow a vision into a sand storm that could very well take one's life. [/SIZE]

 

[Trextan Voidstalker]

[SIZE=9pt]Trextan wasn't going to rise to it right now. Instead he was in a thoughtful mood. The gatekeeper crossed his arms over his chest and bowed his head. Bowed his head and bowed out. [/SIZE]

[SIZE=9pt]“Sorry,” he said quietly again.”I make mistakes. What I'm trying to say is I think maybe I need to learn rather than following the Force, or emotions, or rules.” [/SIZE]

[SIZE=9pt]Anyone could see that it had taken some promoting to get Trextan thinking, but now that he'd arrived he was trying to come up with answers. [/SIZE]

[SIZE=9pt]If he had followed his emotions on the station he would have charged back off towards Choli immediately and put everyone around him in grave danger. [/SIZE]

[SIZE=9pt]The gatekeeper remained silent.[/SIZE]

 

[Choli Vyn]

[member="Trextan Voidstalker"]

[SIZE=9pt]Those kaliscopic eyes swung to meet Trextan’s angular face. Under the mop of hair, his expression was contemplative, searching. Part of Choli wasn’t sure if he was saying that to himself or to her. Maybe both. [/SIZE]

[SIZE=9pt]Either way, while Choli knew and understood Trextan was apologetic over what occurred on Tatooine, it didn’t answer her question. Nor did it seem that Master Tikanni was moving to answer it. [/SIZE]

[SIZE=9pt]This was the area where Choli revealed her youth and impatience. Neither answered her question, especially considering this was about the Force that so many spoke of. [/SIZE]

[SIZE=9pt]“That doesn’t answer my question,” she said bluntly, swinging her attention from Trextan to the holocron’s gatekeeper. [/SIZE]

[SIZE=9pt]“Will it ever purposely put you at risk?” If so then how could one trust it? How could so many create Orders and philosophies around it when it can equally lead you astray. How did one know to balance its guidance with common sense? [/SIZE]

[SIZE=9pt]Choli needed to know and being who she was, she would continue asking until she was given an answer. It is the only method she knew how. She wasn’t a Jedi or a Sith or part of any collective. Chloe had done her best to try and make sure the young woman was exposed to many perspectives, but ultimately, there were still a few things that confused her. [/SIZE]

[SIZE=9pt]This was one of them. [/SIZE]

 

[Trextan Voidstalker]

[member="Choli Vyn"]

[SIZE=9pt]The gatekeeper gave a small smile. He had hoped that they might try and discuss the matter between themselves. The master whose image he had been created in had always enjoyed bringing the students around a fire to shield from the cold and then promoting them to start discussing the nature of the Force. He had perhaps learned more from young minds than he had from his peers. He was also aware that he was going to frustrate them both. [/SIZE]

[SIZE=9pt]“I cannot tell you exactly how the nature of the Force guides those that listen to it. It doesn't not always answer the question that is asked, but if often provides the answer one needs. A friend of mine followed the Force a very long way and was frustrated not to find that which he searched for. It took him five years to realise why he had been sent there, setting off a chain of events that saved a settlement from destruction.”[/SIZE]

[SIZE=9pt]He looked from one to the other. Cholivyn had asked the question, but now Trextan was just as interested. [/SIZE]

[SIZE=9pt]“The Force does tend to guide you based on your own desires, to an extent. A powerful practitioner of the bogan might be led to victories against his rivals. Could it put you in danger? Almost certainly. It led a group of Je’daii to the Jinyo Pass. There they held Gregoran’s horde at bay but they lost half their number, including their leader. You could say that on that day the Force led several great men and women to their deaths. [/SIZE]

[SIZE=9pt]“The Force is not an easy thing to understand. If it was, do you not think we would all have one single version of the truth of its nature after all these thousands of years of study?”[/SIZE]

[SIZE=9pt]Trextan looked out towards the stars. He was thinking about the possibility of spending his life studying something only to never know how it really worked. It seemed rather frightening.[/SIZE]

 

[Choli Vyn]

[member="Trextan Voidstalker"]

It wasn’t exactly the answer that Choli was looking for. Or more aptly, a clear-cut answer that could help place things into perspective. For the most of her life, anything having to do with the Force was attributed to demons or just indistinct knack at things. Or even the will of the ancients.

Learning that there was an actual name to the force behind it and that it managed to work in several ways, be it light or dark, was still a struggle to the young Rogue. While Chloe had managed to open Cho’s galactic view on it, it was still slightly frustrating.

Especially when the most recent example was Trextan saying he was going into a sandstorm because ‘The Force told him so.’

Clearly not happy with the conclusion, Choli gave a sigh. “Well there should be some consistencies,” she added, brows scrunching up. “An item can’t just exist to exist and not have a purpose. A reason. “

Maybe that’s what bothered her. Nothing was clear-cut with the Force.

 

[Trextan Voidstalker]

[member="Choli Vyn"]

[SIZE=9pt]This didn’t seem to be helping bring either of them any clarity. Trextan knew what was driving her line of thought. Mostly because she had made it abundantly clear. Was Choli trying to work out if he was going to be a danger to himself again or was she just trying to gain perspective on what had happened. The previous evening had been so much more simple. They had just got slightly hot and bothered and worked on their kissing technique. [/SIZE]

[SIZE=9pt]It wasn't that he didn't ever want to talk to about themselves. Sometimes they could only reach understanding by getting to the point with words. There was a clash of cultures and Choli often kept pressing on bluntly until she got an answer. [/SIZE]

[SIZE=9pt]The guardian looked at Choli and fell quite still. Trextan wondered if it was rummaging through its data to come up with something else. [/SIZE]

[SIZE=9pt]“After this… Do you want to… “[/SIZE]

[SIZE=9pt]“Perhaps try not to consider the Force an independent [/SIZE][SIZE=9pt]item[/SIZE][SIZE=9pt],” the gatekeeper interrupted. He brought a hand up and scratched at his beard. “The Force is created by and binds all living things.”[/SIZE]

[SIZE=9pt]Trextan looked between them both, looking slightly awkward. [/SIZE]

 

[Choli Vyn]

[member="Trextan Voidstalker"]

So that was how Trextan was cut off from giving a teenager’s suggestion of going elsewhere. Had anyone else seen it, the small flicker of contrition over his face would have been amusing. Unfortunately for him, Choli’s attention was on the gatekeeper instead.

“If it is created by and binds all things, then why would it try to put at risk another aspect of itself?” Choli tossed back, and this time, with the way she situated herself to study the gatekeeper fully, it was obvious her mind was pretty much on one track.

 

[Trextan Voidstalker]

[SIZE=9pt]“I’m afraid I’m running out of answers Choli. If I was the man I was made to resemble then perhaps I would have. The Force often aids those in what they want to achieve. No matter the path it follows. Sometimes, this is a dark path. I have records of the Force leading those to danger. Some masters had recorded this as the Force leading those to a trial. Something that presents danger, has even caused harm, but ultimately made the individual stronger. You may need to consult another mentor to interpret the records” The gatekeeper gave a slow bow of the head. [/SIZE]

[SIZE=9pt]Trextan reached out an lightly touched Choli’s elbow. This was causing her concern and he knew he was the original source of it. Drawing attention to himself perhaps risked bringing some of those feelings back. [/SIZE]

[SIZE=9pt]“We could ask Yvette?” he offered.[/SIZE]


[member="Choli Vyn"]

 

[Choli Vyn]

[member="Trextan Voidstalker"]

It was frustrating yes, but even Choli was able to discern that this was just going around in circles. Chloe had told her that a gatekeeper can only have so much information that the original master had decided to place in it. To a degree, they were programed responses that would take on the personality and the knowledge of the master; but that didn’t mean they were all knowing.

Choli gave a nod at the gatekeeper and thanked him for his guidance. Without further ado, Master Tikanni’s minature form disappeared. Without the gatekeeper drawing her attention, Choli swung her gaze back at Trextan. At his inquiry if they could ask his Master, Choli gave a small nod from side to side.

“No that is fine. I think my head is already full of questions and after the sim, I am not sure if I want to go through another bout of it. Not now, maybe later?” with an exhale, the young Rogue pilot blew at the long wisps of dark hair that had fallen over her temple.

Her lips compressed then relaxed, as if remembering that this had been for him and not for her. “Sorry, I took over a bit there. Not the first time I turn into a incessant stream of questions.” she appeared sheepish then. Leaning back, she set her palms on the floor so she could sit comfortably. At the very least, the earlier tension seemed to leave her. Choli wasn’t the sort of girl to let things linger; not when she knew that she could very well ask Master Tikinni more questions later.

 

[Trextan Voidstalker]

[member="Choli Vyn"]

"That's fine," he said. There was a slightly relieved expression on his face. Not because the questions were over, but because the conversation hadn't turned to the sandstorm on Tatooine. It was what he suspected was prompting the line of questions.

"Sometimes I don't ask questions and regret it later. They weren't always encouraged back on Coruscant," he admitted. Despite how awkward it had felt he was glad that her approach to gaining clarity had led to more of an understanding between them on where they stood. There was a much larger cultural divide between them than he might have suspected before Tatooine.

"Maybe just relax for a bit after the sim?" He asked. Getting certified to get back into her profession was a big step after all.

This still felt like stolen time. Unexpected, but welcome. Questions were good. They still had a lot to learn about each other. Every answer brought entirely new questions. He loved the way she could turn an answer into a story.

He reached out and tucked that wayward strand of hair back for her. "Force can wait for a few minutes." It was mostly a suggestion and only a little bit of a question. Trextan shuffled around so that they were both facing the wide windows of the observation deck.

A little but if stolen time to learn a little more about each other.