Helping a Lost Cause (Matsu Ike)

[Tenel Daggoth]

[member="Matsu Ike"]

Tenel sat silently in the middle of an empty training room, staring out the window in contemplation. Her mind was swimming with the events that had taken place over the past few weeks, and everything that had led up to them.

She could still envision the lights leaving Ren's eyes as vividly as the day it happened. She could still hear Marcus' laughter as his friend turned bitter rival's body hit the floor. She could still remember what it felt like, after everything they'd been through, to put a bullet through Marcus' head and watching the shock wash over his face as he fell just like Ren did.

Tenel shook it off. Now really wasn't the time for contemplation, especially of memories that could potentially get her kicked out of the Order. She assumed they wouldn't take too kindly to murderers among their ranks.

 

[Matsu Ike]

[member="Tenel Daggoth"]

Matsu dipped down from the sky as she rolled to the side and towards the temple as she came down bringing her hand to touch the waters in the fountain. Matsu landed on the ground in a stance for a moment while she straightened her hair and began to walk. She was glad to have her connection to the force back, stronger then it once was before even now. She had went to the different areas of the galaxy and met with the sects.

It had taught her more then some of the others now and that held a small smirk for herself in her mind as she was walking to meet with the padawan to train her. A few ideas of what the girl could learn coming to her but she wasn't sure how she would respond or what sort of talent she would show. That was the real question as the jedi master entered the room and stood in the white robes with her hair down to her ankles and saber on a belt.

"Hello padawan."

 

[Tenel Daggoth]

[member="Matsu Ike"]

Tenel stood quickly as she heard Matsu behind her, turning around and looking at her with hard eyes. Her hand reflexively reached for the blaster she no longer had out of habit. "...Sorry." she said grudgingly, relaxing her stance. "You startled me. You're Master Ike, I assume?"

She had requested a master the day before and hadn't expected someone to volunteer so quickly. Especially considering that she was a nearly a complete beginner at twenty and the work required to get her up to speed would probably be too big of a task for someone with no vested interest.

 

[Matsu Ike]

[member="Tenel Daggoth"]

Matsu looked at her hand and remained still for the time, her reflexes letting her body be semi tense and ready to move while she walked forward. "I am Matsu, there are a few Master Ike's within the Silver Jedi and calling us all the same would be terribly confusing padawan." She was talking about the others like Nico, Junko and one or two others who were teachers and instructors. If all were master Ike it would be kind of hard.

She was also looking her over while she moved quickly walking past her. "Come along we have some work to do." That had a small tight lipped smirk on her face though while she was thinking about where best to start on techniques or proper equipment needed. There was also the basics of force abilities which were best for initiates under ten years of age who weren't like some of the students she had trained.

 

[Tenel Daggoth]

[member="Matsu Ike"]

Tenel nodded at the correction. "Alright." She paused for a moment before following Matsu out of the room, looking outside the window with a blank face. This place seemed a little too good to be true, a little too good for someone with so much darkness in their hearts like her.

Tenel shook her head and left the room, banishing those thoughts. She didn't need to belong, she reminded herself, she just needed some sort of peace. No matter the cost.

 

[Matsu Ike]

[member="Tenel Daggoth"]

Matsu led the way into the room, letting herself take a place in the center while she motioned the padawan in with a wave of her hands while she clasped her hands behind her back. "We can begin in here, the force comes from the breath and motions. You can hear all about moving boulders and flying across a city but nothing will really matter if you don't know how to channel the force into your body and use it." She stood there for a moment and then was hovering up and sitting in place while she held a small grin on her face.

 

[Tenel Daggoth]

[member="Matsu Ike"]

Tenel took her words into account as she sat down across from her, taking a deep breath. "So, where do I start then? Because what little I was taught was strictly offensive, not a lot of control involved. The person who taught me...wasn't around long enough to teach me anything more than that."

 

[Matsu Ike]

[member="Tenel Daggoth"]

Matsu was looking at the girl as she stood there and motioned for her to come closer. Not touching her but moving to her side as she spoke. "Alright we'll start and work at it, the first thing is to push the force throughout your body and work on the intake of air. You want to feel it enter your chest and linger in your lungs then you expel it out while pushing the energy through your body. Out your limbs as you let it become a part of you and then you repeat it until you can feel it in your gut. Then you release it." She was showing it with her movements arms extending out as she inhaled and pulled them in and then pushed it out.

 

[Tenel Daggoth]

[member="Matsu Ike"]

Tenel closed her eyes, relaxing her body as she did what Matsu told her. As she took her first breath and felt the force flow through her, feeling more alive than ever for just a moment before she choked. Images rushed through her head as the strong connection to the Force she had established brought back powerful memories she would have rather forgotten. The fact that these visions had been plaguing her to begin with made it no better.

The relief that had accompanied seeing her homeworld fade away into the distance. The overwhelming joy she had felt when she met Ren and realized she wasn't alone. The guilt as she turned against him in favor of Marcus and the intense despair as he died at her hands. The numbness she had felt for years as she stood at Marcus' side, doing his bidding without a second thought and the burning hatred she still held for him and herself when she realized what atrocities she had been a party to over the years. Tenel felt all of that all over again, as if it were a dam bursting with all of the emotions she had been suppressing for months.

When she opened her eyes again, her skin was covered in sweat, muscles tensed as if she had been attacked. She scrambled to her feet. "I-I'm sorry, I can't do this." she said, eyes wide as she backed away. "I can't do that again. I-It's too much, I..."

 

[Matsu Ike]

[member="Tenel Daggoth"]

Matsu was keeping at it, as the padawan worked to focus and follow her movements she was getting soemthing. The jedi didn't pry into her mind, didn't try and see what she was remembering but she couldn't deny she felt the effects it was having. The girl seemed to get scared and Matsu moved. Pushing energy through her body to create a calming aura and waiting until the padawan was finished and tense before standing there. Looking at her carefully and with some sadness for what she had gone through as she pushed the aura out to try and relax, to protect her but also offer an open arm. "It is alright, whatever happened in the past can be washed away."

 

[Tenel Daggoth]

[member="Matsu Ike"]

Tenel backed away from Matsu, bracing herself with one arm against the wall in an effort to remain upright. Her voice was ragged as she tried to regain her composure. "With all due respect, I don't think that's possible. You can't just wash away that much blood." she murmured. "My sins are going to stay with me my entire life and I deserve it." Waves of hatred were emanating from her, mostly towards herself. She truly believed she was beyond saving, and that external peace was the only solace she deserved.

 

[Matsu Ike]

[member="Tenel Daggoth"]

"Then I am perfect as your master." She looked at the girl and moved forward quickly as she remained there. floating up into the air and she looked at the girl. "You are not the only one whose hands are stained but you have a choice in what you can do. Giving into the belief you are beyond is a dangerous one, it can make you wreckless or break you. However giving into that it wasn't your fault is also dangerous, in truth you take what has happened to you. All the voices that cry out because of your action and you let them motivate you to save as many as you can for as long as you can." She was looking at her with a compassion in her eyes that wasn't given to many.

 

[Tenel Daggoth]

[member="Matsu Ike"]

Tenel's eyes were trained down at the floor, standing there in silence and letting Matsu's words sink in for a few moments before speaking. "Let's just get this over with." she said, a determination in her voice that hadn't been there before. She sat down on the ground and closed her eyes, preparing to try again.

 

[Matsu Ike]

[member="Tenel Daggoth"]

Matsu was looking at her and stood back on the ground as she waited for a moment and she was looking down at her. "Very well, keep your eyes closed and focus. Listen to the energy around you and slowly calm your mind." She was walking around her and letting her energies come through and go into the floor while she kept speaking. "You are seeking the elusive state below the surface, where peace gives way to a calm serenity instead of letting you reflect on things."

 

[Tenel Daggoth]

[member="Matsu Ike"]

Tenel kept her breathing even as she closed her eyes, letting herself feel the energy swirling around her and shut out all distraction. She concentrated on finding that state Matsu spoke of and gave into the collectiveness of the Force instead of resisting it as she had for so many years. Back then her connection to the Force was used as a blunt weapon against her opponents that she chose to ignore in all other circumstances.

 

[Matsu Ike]

[member="Tenel Daggoth"]

"There you go, push and immerse yourself. The force can act as a weapon or a soothing balm for the things that trouble you. It is how I look ahead rather then at the past and have come to learn many different aspects of the force. It helps that I am not actively followed by many... Allows me to roam and explore around the galaxy going where I need to and do what I want to best help people. The force can do many things and take you many places if you do not like being in one place for to long."

 

[Tenel Daggoth]

[member="Matsu Ike"]

Tenel continued to follow Matsu's instruction. She took deep breaths and allowed the Force to take over, not putting up a resistance anymore. After about a half hour of that, Tenel stood, much more steady and calm than she had been at the beginning. "Thank you." she said, genuinely grateful. She wasn't ready to forgive herself yet, but at least now she felt like she could move forward.

 

[Matsu Ike]

[member="Tenel Daggoth"]

Matsu stood there the entire time letting her body almost remain a statue, shallow breaths and movements until the padawan seemed to change. Her body relaxing and letting the force in her as finally a smile cracked her lips. "Good, now we can begin. From the beginning with the breath. Allow it to fill you and push out to create a ball of energy with everything you contain. It will give you focus and then send it at the wall."

 

[Tenel Daggoth]

[member="Matsu Ike"]

Tenel did as she said, taking long deep breaths and trying to force out and manifest the energy that was swirling inside her. She closed her eyes and focused, eventually creating a ball of energy in front of her and sending it at the wall like Matsu had instructed.

 

[Matsu Ike]

[member="Tenel Daggoth"]

"Very good" Matsu was looking at what she could do and maintaining herself while she stood there a small thing of energy in her hand as she focused it and spoke. "Each time you breathe in let the force fill you up and push it to your limbs so you create a powerful sense or enhancement. You want to empower your limbs so they feel loose but not to the point you lose control and focus you will hurt yourself."