Here In The Dark

[The Handmaiden]

[member="Thel Rhysode"]

"How disappointing." She said, her voice suddenly lost of all amusement. "Pathetic."

She turned away from the boy, the cloak upon her shoulders whipping in the wind for a moment before she half turned back to him. This time her eyes met him, her real eyes. They were a pale shade, no color really, just a broken white and gray that seemed to spread from an epicenter. One might have called them dead, though thin red lines seemed to spread from their edges, small palms reaching for the center as though hands grasping for something.

"I was hoping for something more. I had thought perhaps it would be something worthwhile, something that could be exploited or used, but look at you." She scoffed, taunting.

Her cloak fluttered once again, a powerful gust of wind pressing through the ruins once more.

 

[Thel Rhysode]

"Well, that's great. At least I ain't done nothin' seriously wicked..." Thel was oddly... happy. He managed to see the positive in the fact that the knowledge the woman had gained was nothing bad. Maybe the chaser wasn't something to be afraid of after all? Maybe it was all an illusion which had grown bigger and more frightening the more Thel fled?

He didn't have powers in the Force, but he could tell the woman was lying about something. Or not telling him something crucial. Of course, she wasn't telling him practically anything, but that was something completely different.

As if the odd figure had found something to use from the boy's mind.

"Don't play with me, just tell me what it is..."

He sighed.

"I beg you to tell me."

[ [member="The Handmaiden"] ]

 

[The Handmaiden]

[member="Thel Rhysode"]

The Handmaiden let out a heavy sigh, as if his words pained her.

The dirt beneath her feet seemed to shy away from her for a moment, the acrid smell in the air intensifying as the wind began to die down and render a stillness within the ruin once more. She turned to fully face him, her eyes, their odd white hue, settling on him once more. Her lips thinned this time, the tattoo beneath them seeming to crumple slightly. She looked down at him, her hard gaze following his glare. What she was thinking, or perhaps even planning was impossible to tell.

"Very well." She mused, her voice that same rasp.

"Would you like to know the name of the woman you killed?" Her tone remained perfectly even. "Or that of her equally departed husband?"

Her expression remained that same as it had always been. "Perhaps the names their children?"

 

[Thel Rhysode]

Now's the part when Thel got really confused. He would never kill anybody... or... would he? He couldn't tell what the old him was like... He didn't know if he could have killed anybody and then caused an amnesia so that he wouldn't remember any of that?

Didn't make a lot of sense to him, but as he started thinking about it, he could understand how logical it could be.

He grabbed his head with his hands, feeling suddenly so hollow inside. How the hell could he have killed anybody? A woman, a husband, their children... He couldn't take that in, the thoughts couldn't sink into his head. There seemed to be no possible way he could have killed them.

"I... killed somebody?"

He would have wanted to scream and cry and...

But he couldn't. Even though he couldn't use the Force, he knew it was a Sith way to be angry. He couldn't become a monster like they often tended to be.

[ [member="The Handmaiden"] ]

 

[The Handmaiden]

[member="Thel Rhysode"]

"No no, Thel." The name was said with a strong click of her tongue. "You killed a family."

Her voice was even, neutral, like a librarian speaking about a book. "Mother. Father. Son. Twin Daughters."

The Handmaiden slowly squatted down in front of the boy, her robe shuffling slightly as she did so. The hood of her cloak pulled itself back, more of her face showing as her horns nearly scratched against his face. There was no hint of a lie on her face, no hint of deception. The white of her eyes seemed to shift for half a second, looking over his body before once again settling on his face.

"I would commend you." That same neutral rasp. "Were you not so very pathetic."

 

[Thel Rhysode]

"Commend?" the boy was curious, shocked, surprised, confused and a ton of other emotions. "For killing a family?"

He suddenly realised his life didn't matter anymore. Killing one person was bad, but a whole family... How the hell could he continue living like that? What worth would such a life have if you were the reason a whole family was destroyed?

He had to admit, the fact that he'd seemingly killed the whole family have him a little bit hope -- at least there were no family members to morn them. But still, it was so wrong.

"You're a sick soul!"

She already knew that, he guessed. But he didn't have anything better to say.

He took a deep breath as his eyes turned to the ground. How to go on with life after gaining such a knowledge? A murderer... A mass murderer... Something he would have never wanted to be.

But acceptance, the acceptance of having killed somebody, was a difficult goal to reach.

He still couldn't really believe he'd killed somebody.

[ [member="The Handmaiden"] ]

 

[The Handmaiden]

[member="Thel Rhysode"]

"Perhaps." The Handmaiden said as she looked down at him. "Though, I'm not a murderer."

With that, she slowly rose.

As far as she was concerned, the conversation was over. The wind rustled one more time, that acrid smell left the air. A deep breath sounded out as Handmaiden allowed her lungs to fill with cold mountain air. The ground around her broke slightly as her toes wiggled one more time.

"When you find your strength. When you decide to stop running. When you realize that the mistakes of your past were not mistakes. Find me." Those were the last words she said before she began to wander away.

 

[Thel Rhysode]

Murderer.

That one word echoed in Thel's mind, never stopping, never weakening. In fact, with every time the word came to his mind, it only got more power. It was a slow yet powerful crescendo he had in his head.

How?

It didn't make sense. His moral compass had always told him killing anybody was as wrong as a thing could be. If that was the reason behind his amnesia and the whole chase, then maybe it was all so logical, so... right. Maybe he wasn't supposed to flee. Maybe he was supposed to go and meet the chaser?

Would he have enough courage to do that?

If he had enough of that to destroy one whole family, he guessed he pretty much had enough of that to meet his own fate. But that was... wrong. His mind was a pot of thoughts and he couldn't form a clear picture.

It was so wrong.

So unbelievable.

So sick.

[ [member="The Handmaiden"] ]