How Things Are

[Aela Talith]

[member="Kaili Talith"]

Aela paused for a second.

"Well." She wasn't exactly equipped to handle an outburst quite like that, or rather she hadn't been expecting it. She could understand Noehi's frustration, it was something that she herself had been struggling with as of late after all. Her lips thinned for a moment, and she took in a slight breath.

The she shrugged.

"We're not perfect, Noehi." That was the truth. "Look at me.

She gestured. "I've been doing this for...what a decade? Fighting Sith. In theory I helped take down the biggest Empire they've had in over a century. I fought at Coruscant, Lujo, a dozen other battles, but here I am, thinking about quitting."

For a moment the elder sister frowned.

"I know you're frustrated, but...you kind of just have to do what I'm thinking of doing..." She had wanted to talk to her mother about this first, but she was almost sure her mind was made up. "Let it go."

She went on quietly. "We can't save the galaxy, we can only do our best, we can only help those around us. Those who want to be helped. It's not easy, Nohei, I know...but sometimes you kind of just have to be like Mom and Dad."

Their parents did good in the galaxy, but in a different way.

 

[Kaili Talith]

[member="Aela Talith"]

Two annoyed grunts force Kailis lips apart again as she tried her best to find something to be upset about with what her sister was saying, not encouraging her to go on a crusade or some equally unsettling quest for retribution. However, the annoyance did not last. Kaili knew that what her sister was saying was the truth, she could not deny that.

Yet another sigh burst through her nose. “I know.” Said Nohei. “It just sucks.”

Her eyes lingered in a stare at the ground for a bit before shooting out towards the door leading towards the garage. There was no real desire to discuss this, yet at the same time it was the break that Kaili had needed. Mara was gone somewhere, Kaili truly had no idea where her friend was and Allyson had gone on yet another tour. The venues at which she tended to air her grievances were all otherwise busy and in many ways also part of the reason she was experiencing these flares that clouded her mind.

In the end what her sister had witnessed was a month’s worth of anguish, if not more.

“Thank you, Esmae.” Kaili approached her sister. Part of her wanted to hug her sister, but that would be awkward, wouldn’t it? The younger sibling wasn’t sure. “I needed that.”

 

[Aela Talith]

[member="Kaili Talith"]

Aela wrapped her arms around her younger sister. Her arms wrapped around Nohei with no hesitation on her part. Affection towards her siblings had never really been difficult for her, even with Micah, not when it counted. She smiled slightly.

"Don't try to carry the weight of the galaxy." That was a lesson she had to learn herself. For so long Aela had tried to do everything, had tried to save everyone, only to find out that she couldn't. Even when she did the right thing, even when she saved literally billions of lives, there were always those who would suffer. That was the reality, and as much as she hated it, one simply had to accept it for what it was. There was no changing it. "Just do your own thing."

She told Nohei. "If you want to spend more time with Allyson, tell her."

Aela shrugged.

"If she understands you, then she'll do it." That was how love was supposed to go, Aela was pretty sure of that. "As for the other stuff...half of our family has saved the galaxy already, we don't all need to go."

 

[Kaili Talith]

It felt great to just have someone around. While Kaili had first tensed up as her sister reached out to hug her she quickly found herself letting up as the initial surprise had passed. Just to know that she wasn’t alone and that someone was around and able to listen to her, no matter how long or brief her angry episodes were.

And then the advice. Could Kaili really do that? It felt like too much to ask of someone and selfish in a sense. The equivalent of approaching someone to proclaim you wished them to be by your side and no one else’s.

No, Kaili was probably overthinking it. While Aela wasn’t necessarily the kind of person that Kaili would associate with the mushy-feely aspects of living, not outside of books anyway, she was still their parents’ daughter. Usually that would not have been anything special, but they both knew that their parents were special in their closeness. It was just hard to see if you shared the same kind of closeness with someone when you looked from the inside-out rather than the outside-in.

As for saving the galaxy, “I know. I just wish I did more.” Kaili sighed before she let her sister go. “I’ll talk to Allyson later, try to make her understand how I feel.”

“... Maybe also try to introduce her to the family at some point. Lords know that is long overdue.” Kaili’s brows perked for a second. Brainwave struck her. “Actually,” She digged around in her pocket for something. “Here.” She withdrew a small image of herself and Allyson. “This is her. Just so you guys know that she is real, and uh -- unlike what Micah has been saying -- not a droid either.”

[member="Aela Talith"]

 

[Aela Talith]

[member="Kaili Talith"]

A look of surprise flashed across Aela's face.

"Oh." She said suddenly. "I know her."

That would likely surprise Nohei as much as seeing the picture had surprised Aela. The Alliance was a big place, and the thought of two people just suddenly running into one another was...well pretty unlikely all things considered. She frowned for a moment, scratching her head as she tried to remember where exactly she had seen the girl before. It took her a moment, but quickly it came to her. Aela snapped her fingers and beamed slightly. "She was on a mission with me."

She remembered now.

"Mechanic." That was really all that she could recall about the girl.

The mission that they had gone on had been rather memorable. They had been searching for a crashed ship on an outer rim world, one they'd eventually found. Of course before they could get away a Zillo Beast had risen from the ground...but that was neither here nor there.

"Nice enough." Aela said with a smile. "From what I remember."

 

[Kaili Talith]

[member="Aela Talith"]

No joking. Kaili blinked from the surprise. Aela knew Allyson? That seemed highly unlikely, yet from the look on Aela’s face and the confirmation that Allyson was indeed a mechanic it struck Kaili as a possibility. It certainly struck her as odd that her sister would lie over having met someone she didn’t know.

“So, wait, you have met her?” Kaili couldn’t drop the surprised expression that had swept across her face. “I mean, yeah, she’s a mechanic, but… That must have been ages ago.”

Kaili snickered. “When was this? I’m surprised she hasn’t-...”

“... Right, she doesn’t know what any of you guys look like either, I don’t think.”

“... I really need to bring her over some time, or you guys to our place.”

 

[Aela Talith]

[member="Kaili Talith"]

"It was a bit ago." Aela admitted with a shrug. "I doubt she didn't recognize me."

She wasn't trying to get Allyson in trouble or anything, but...well it was rather obvious who she was. "I'm known as Aela Talith, same last name. That plus the orange eyes kind of gives away who I am."

Aela pointed to her own eyes, then to Nohei's.

"Maybe she was just too nervous to mention it." A shrug rolled over Aela's shoulders.

Aela didn't think of herself as intimidating, but she'd been told more than once that she could be scary sometimes. The Jedi Marshall wasn't so sure about it, but it would explain why her little sisters girlfriend hadn't mentioned anything about her.

 

[Kaili Talith]

[member="Aela Talith"]

Right, the orange eyes. Kaili had hung out with Mara for long enough that masking them up behind a set of fake contact lenses had become close to second nature. It turned some away, made some outright look the other way, though mostly it just seemed to surprise people. Still, a young Kaili had never been all that good with the reaction of those around her. She was after all, by many definitions, a shut-in. Mara had at the time offered a short-term solution that in the end became something, well, long-term obviously.

Not that she wore those around Allyson. In that regard Aela’s point was valid, Allyson out of all people in the galaxy — save her family members — was most likely the one person who had seen or even outright gazed into Kaili’s orange eyes the most.

“Maybe she was,” Kaili thought for a second before she shook her head. “No. It’d strike me as something she would never let me hear the end of.”

Eyes wandered out of the shake and over to the garage. She let them linger for a bit to let the moment die out before her head turned back to her sister again.

“We still have a comm-array to find.” Kaili smiled. “We should probably get that sorted before mother thinks something has happened to us.”

She took the first step. “Come on.”

 

[Aela Talith]

[member="Kaili Talith"]

Aela shrugged. "I can be pretty intimidating."

That was something she'd been told before, though she didn't really understand it. The nature of her work was somewhat shift she supposed, though when she had first met Allyson she'd only been working for the Jedi Order, not yet the SIS. Another shrug rolled over her shoulder and Aela decided to drop the subject, at least for now. Kaili was clearly somewhat uncomfortable talking about it, and if her sister didn't want to discuss it then Aela wouldn't force the issue.

"They're in another galaxy." She reminded Nohei. "I'd be surprised if she expected everything to work fine."

Then again their mother did have their father with them, and he was the one who had taught Nohei about Technomancy.

She frowned and shook her head.

"It's fine, a little delay won't kill her." It would start becoming clear to Nohei that Aela seemed to be a lot more relaxed. Less stoic, less uptight. An effect that her work with the SIS was having, or perhaps Jamie was rubbing off on her. Either way as they stepped into the garage Aela seemed a lot more relaxed than she usually did.

 

[Kaili Talith]

[member="Aela Talith"]

It was weird to Kaili how she had never actually thought about it in that way. Their parents were in another galaxy, that was the kind of story you read about in books and comics. That would make Kaili and her siblings the potential victims of a sob-story-backstory for an up-and-coming hero of the galaxy. Only problem was of course that their father was already a hero, and the best hero at that. A realist and a father, someone devoted to his family.

“Reminds me of that book you showed me before, way back.” Kaili smiled as she stepped through the door to the garage. “The one written by the Rodian who died before he could finish the last chapter and caused his publisher to lose a substantial amount of money as a result.”

It was a story in which the author had spent a considerable amount of time detailing the technological aspects of all the equipment at hand, and considerably less amount on the actual story itself. To those who preferred a sappy story it was a rather lackluster book, but to people like Kaili — those who were frighteningly close to a droid fetish — it was like reading the dirtiest of books available on the public market, the only part missing from the book being fake blueprints of how it all looked and worked, but the fanbase were quite fond of filling those holes themselves.

Of course, the tech described was actually little more than the idle ramblings and daydreams of your average science fiction writer, but it was the vivid details and explanations of the technology that really drew the picture, and somewhere in there was a story about a man and a woman who had been separated by the call of duty as two galaxies declared war on one another.

It wasn’t too unlike the Yuuzhan-Vong invasions, perhaps. Still, many critics had deemed the book as utterly unrealistic, but incredibly amazing to read. As long as said critic was a gearhead. Like Kaili.

She continued thinking about the book. The way the signals were boosted by giant structures at the borders of the galaxy, amplifying their strength and firing at a receiver on the other end. It was enough for her to just float away for a second and forget that the very same tech, or idea of the tech, was standing right there next to her in the real life.

Longing sigh sounding off into the packed garage. “I should read that book again.”

 

[Aela Talith]

[member="Kaili Talith"]

"You should read more in general." Aela said simply, imparting a lesson.

She herself took every opportunity that she could to actually read. Most of the travel time that she and Jamie had while floating around the galaxy to one place or another was spent reading. It was both to help her expand her mind, but also to keep her from going utterly mad. Aela had long since used reading as an escape, something that she could turn to when there was either too much going on, or too little. It was something that her siblings well knew.

"Not like you can't afford the books." She waggled a finger at Nohei. "Plus it makes you smarter."

Too few people appreciated proper reading these days.

Most just stuck their nose in a datapad or datacron and let everything play in front of them. They didn't seek out information, just brushed up on whatever was put in front of them. It was something that she had admonished half the younglings on Sullust for, most of them thinking that she was some kind of Book Stormtrooper afterward. Still, she more considered it a public service than anything else. She was trying to help after all.

"Maybe try writing yourself." She told her sister.

"Something to keep you calm." Aela had long since kept a journal, though had no idea if Kaile did or not.

 

[Kaili Talith]

[member="Aela Talith"]

Kaili read books!

… Sometimes.

… Occasionally.

… Okay, not as much as she should have.

She tried to come up with an excuse for it but came up empty-handed. Perhaps because she was busy enough with her company as it was, but that really didn’t mean she had nothing to do in her free time, and she still had a lot of that. She settled for nodding somewhat at her sister while still rolling her eyes to make sure that Aela knew that Kaili admitted defeat.

And as for writing, “I hadn’t thought about that.” She uttered and knelt down by the satellite array. “Reminds me about when I was younger…” She grinned at her sister. “See, my brother had this thing for breaking into my older sister’s room…”

Focus went back to the big piece of machinery standing in the middle of the room. It was big. Bigger than anything Kaili had ever really designed herself, but her father had trusted Aela with this, so that either meant she just needed to find the ON button.

… Or that he knew Aela would call for her if she hadn’t been around.

Almost made you think.

 

[Aela Talith]

[member="Kaili Talith"]

"Yeah." Aela said flatly. "I remember."

The Jedi Marshal had long since gotten over any of those more childish antics. Oh she still would have beaten Micah over the head if he stole her journal, but at this point in her life she wasn't all that concerned about it. Mostly because her journal was always hidden beneath a panel in her room. Though she supposed if she left the New Jedi Order she would have to clear that out. A frown pulled at her lips, but slowly she decided to disregard the thought.

"It would be good for you." Aela told her younger sister.

"Expressive." She said with a shrug. "Maybe even a bit therapeutic."

Getting ones thoughts out in a written form was always helpful in a way. Maybe it would let Kaili work through some of her bad thoughts, actually writing them down would let her see them objectively. Not a bad idea if Aela didn't say so herself.

 

[Kaili Talith]

[member="Aela Talith"]

Focus shifted back and forth between the machinery and listening to Aela talk. There was a valid point in perhaps writing her thoughts down, but at the same time the girl couldn’t help but think of the risk if someone found it. If Allyson found the journal and realized what Kaili felt she would feel guilt, and if Mara found it she would feel worse. They were the ones that she obsessed about, worried about, cursed over and tore herself apart for.

Yet writing things down had worked for others.

“I’ll think on it.” Kaili said as she knelt down behind the satellite array. “It’s just…”

“What if someone finds out?” Kaili frowned. “I wouldn’t want someone to find what I write down unless I let them.” There was a sense of irony in that if you considered what Kaili did when she was younger. “All I seem to think about is Mara and Allyson, and they are both sources of great stress.”

Kaili found the ON button and flicked it. The machine didn’t turn on and she let out a sigh.

“I just don't-FETH!” Kaili cussed as she bumped her head on the way up from the ground. A small thud echoed through the garage and Kaili began to rub at the bump taking shape at the back of her head. “Sorry.” She apologized for her language. “I just don't want them to read it and give me funny looks.”

 

[Aela Talith]

[member="Kaili Talith"]

She gave her sister an odd look.

"So don't let them read it?" That was really the only answer that she could give. "I'm sure you can make something to stop that from happening."

Perhaps a new kind of datapad lock, or maybe an artifact from Micah, or any one of a hundred different solutions including a simple hiding place. Aela had her own journal stashed away, and she was fairly confident than nobody was giving that a read behind her back. "Plus."

She began.

"If someone violates your privacy like that, then they're not really worth keeping around." That was rather harsh, but it was also true. A journal wasn't meant to be shared, it was a collection of private thoughts. Micah had stopped stealing Aela's journal when he'd begun to understand that, anyone that would break someone's privacy like that? Well it wasn't someone that Aela would want as a friend, nor should Kaili want them.

Simple as that.

"You're a Talith." She said the words with pride. "You're powerful, strong, the only limits you have are the ones you set on yourself."

 

[Kaili Talith]

[member="Aela Talith"]

Didn’t feel that easy, but her sister had a point. Anyone who would intrude upon Kaili’s privacy like that was most likely not someone that she wanted to keep around anyway. The girl threw a look at the bracelet on her arm. The HoloPad was certainly a good way to keep such thoughts and ideas out of reach from others. It was a prototype, but it was working at an efficiency level that Kaili would not have assumed possible of a device such as it was.

“Yeah,” Kaili smiled. She was a Talith. Powerful, strong, limitless potential, afraid of making notes on her own psychological well-being. “I guess you are right.” Well, it was Aela. She was rarely ever wrong. At least not to impressionable little sisters. “Anyone who would break that trust is not worth having around.”

Continuing to walk around the terminal Kaili looked for a cable or any kind of means to provide it with enough power for Aela to call their parents. Part of Kaili wanted to do the same. Call for father and tell him about the progress she was making from Atrisia. All things considered even Kaili was glad to see that she hadn’t fallen for another bout of depression.

Or well, at least not one as deep and crippling as the last time she had felt what she felt on Atrisia.

Grabbing at what seemed to be the cord to the terminal she followed it to its end.

“Ah, it wasn’t plugged in.” But their parents had certainly left it in a place that would make it easy for even Aela to plug it in. Perhaps Kaili’s assumed involvement in the whole thing was a bit of a stretch. Returning to her sister and the terminal at hand she tried switching it on again. Lo and behold, it kicked into gear and shone up with life. “Well would you look at that, it lives.” Smiled Kaili at her sister. “Just needed to plug it in it seems.”

 

[Aela Talith]

[member="Kaili Talith"]

Aela shrugged. "Technology is hard."

It was a poor excuse, but really the only one that she had. Unlike her father and sister Aela wasn't exactly the best when it came to...well anything that had to do with electronics. Sometimes she struggled to even get her datapad working. It was something Jamie made fun of her for almost every time it came up, but her own Mastery of the force sort of gave her an excuse in all of it. She had other talents, ones that didn't need to extend to everything.

She sighed for a second.

"Thanks." She told Nohei with a smile. "You should stay up at the house until after I talk with mom."

Her decision would likely be made soon after that, and she would return to Sullust to give everyone the news, specifically the Grand Marshall. For a second Aela mulled over what that might be like, though quickly she dismissed the thought, mostly because it was an unpleasant one. "We'll have dinner or something."

She was sure there was still something to cook in the store rooms.

Mother wouldn't leave the place completely barren.

 

[Kaili Talith]

[member="Aela Talith"]

Poor excuse or not, Kaili did not mind. It was always nice to have something you excelled at whether it be plugging in cables or designing droids. A quick glance around the workshop and she spotted the workbench where their father had taught her the basics of manipulating magnetic fields with the force. What had once been her world was now a resting place for boxes of what she could only assume were spare parts, it wasn’t a far cry from what her world had become today.

“That sounds great.” The girl turned to her sister and smiled back. “I could have a look around while you talk. There’s got to be something around here that we could use.” Other than stale cookies, of course.

Kaili then threw a quick look at the communications terminal. “Do you want to go ahead and call them now or do you want to wait for a bit?”

 

[Aela Talith]

[member="Kaili Talith"]

"Now, I think." The subject that she needed to talk to her mother about had been on her mind since...well weeks.

She had considered it over and over again, had talked to Jacen, Jamie, even Nohei now. There was no avoiding this conversation, and the sooner she got it over with the sooner she would feel better about the whole thing anyway.

Slowly the Jedi Marshall shifted.

"Thanks Nohei." She told her sister. "You can go wait in the house."

She could of course also stay and talk with their mother if she wanted to, Aela wouldn't throw her out or anything. "This won't take all that long."

Especially since the connection between galaxies would likely be incredibly spotty, even if the Rishi Maze was a satellite galaxy.

 

[Kaili Talith]

[member="Aela Talith"]

“No problem, Esmae.” Kaili kept on smiling. “I think I’d like to go see what’s in the pantry or freezer. Get started on something to eat or just plan a meal.”

Offering her sister one last smile Kaili turned around and headed back towards the kitchen again. She took a moment to herself as she entered the library to look at the point where she had thrown her brief tantrum and aired her grievances over her situation. For a second she was ashamed, but in the next she looked over at the garage door to remind herself of what Aela had said. If Allyson cared for her she would understand why Kaili would want her to be around more, if she didn’t… Then…

No. She didn’t want to think about that.

Stepping out of the library and venturing through the living room into the kitchen she would instead start digging through the cabinets looking for ingredients. There seemed to be a lot of canned foods left. The freezer offered a two pieces of meat, but she was not sure if they were good to eat or not. It must have been a while since Maleah was here. She didn’t eat much else other than meat and it’d certainly been a long while since her parents had been home. Regardless, Kaili put the meat pieces forth and continued rooting around.

By the time Aela had arrived she’d have brought out all that she could find. Conserved vegetables, the meat and other bits and pieces that all seemed to add up to…

Well, Kaili was not quite sure what they even had. Perhaps they would improvise.

… Or perhaps they would just order for food instead.