I Knew My Weakness (Complete)

[Kuzo]

Continued from Breakout on Dxun

Edges of Panatha Space

Irajah checked over the instruments as Om maneuvered in tandem with [member="Connor Harrison"]'s ship. The two ships were setting up a lock between them. She simply wasn't comfortable yet bringing [member="Jacob Crawford"] groundside. She was hoping Connor could help her find some insight on just what to do for him.

Her eyes got a little distant for a moment, waiting for the ships to dock, a small frown on her face. The last twenty four hours had been.... well outside of her usual comfort zone. Cloak and dagger, hungry beasts- she'd be happy to never go to Dxun again. She didn't specifically regret it. But if she could have simply met her contact and the patient in say, a well appointed hospital instead, she would have been much happier about the whole thing.

Frown deepening, her brow furrowed. She didn't think she had enough stims on hand to keep the problem at bay. She knew he could be sedated if need be, but that answer twisted uncomfortably in her. She'd do it if she had to- he was dangerous off of the drugs. But she hated the situation that made it necessary. Jacob deserved better than that.

At least he was fed and resting for now. And safe. No more experiments (except those to help him), no more beast fights.

It was small comfort. Knowing that it was better than it had been before, well, it wasn't a hard thing to improve upon.

The tell-tale shudder of the connection lock drew her out of her reverie. A quick (and ignored) thank you to Om and she hurried down the corridor of the ship to meet Connor at the hatch.

At least one good thing had come of this. She was glad to be seeing him again.

 

[Connor Harrison]

Seeing Irajah flag up on his ship was like a knife going to his heart. When he saw her name, he had sighed and rested his head in his hands for a good few minutes. Waiting for it to go away, or the ground to swallow him up - something; anything over the truth.

Thankfully, the initial amber eyes he had born were calm again, but the blue had gone. Instead they were a little grey and devoid of life. It had been a little time since last seeing her which had been too long, especially following the de-Forcing.

It had taken him longer to acknowledge her request to meet around Panatha again, and he couldn’t work out why. Was she wanting to talk or do something? More tests? Problems with his healing? He didn’t know. He didn’t want to find out because he wasn’t the man he had been since seeing her last.

But, he wouldn’t lie to her. That much was decent of him.

The voyage was long and lonely, and Connor sat looking out at space or at his hand, the only reminder of what he had been with her last. What would he say when he saw her again? What would SHE say?

It was the end. He knew it, and was ready for it. More pain, more loss. More truth.

His stomach knotted when her ship was waiting for him, and even more when they locked together and the mechanics outside signalled they were now connected and secure. Connor got up, brushing his hair back and trying not to be sick. He was even weaker than Irajah now in terms of Force ability.

Steadying his hand on the piping of the passageway that led to the external hatch, Connor closed his eyes as he moved to rest on the opening lever. Now or never. He pulled down, and the ship’s hatch peeled back where hers would be. It was opening. She was stood there.

"Irajah," he said, a feeble wave with his fingers where he stood.

[member="Irajah Ven"] | [member="Jacob Crawford"]

 

[Jacob Crawford]

If it were anyone else the last several hours would've probably been boring, but to Jacob it was a treasured period of time. After eating he had essentially isolated himself, preferring to just sit in silence whether it was in lounge or the berth. Irajah had of course checked up on him regularly, exchanging some small talk, but Jacob was mainly left to his own devices. Though he was fairly certain the good doctor was keeping an eye on him.

No experiments, no beasts, no scientists, no voices. It was pretty much tranquility for him. Albeit he was incredibly fidgety, proving true that he wasn't going to be able to sleep while the overload of stims were still in his system.

Thankfully though as of a couple hours ago the stimulants had finally ran its course and a fresh one had been injected. This was a double edged sword however, as while Jacob was finally able to sleep, the voices had returned.

It had become apparent that just one stimulant wasn't enough to completely block them out. For a while he was tempted to try and search for Irajah's supply of them, but Jacob pushed the notion away and tried to block them out of his mind.

It was moderately successful, though instead his dreams were flooded with various images.

A bright light. Several unfamiliar faces. Nar Shaddaa. The Netherworld.

Jacob shot up awake and was immediately beset with a sharp pain on his left side. He gasped and hissed in pain as he tried and failed to sit up properly.

Wh-why can I suddenly feel the pain in my ribs?!

Because idiot, you've been on stims since you woke up. You haven't been able to feel it until now.

Plus, you were running on pure adrenaline once out the bacta tank.

Slowly Jacob managed to sit himself up, but as he did he looked down at his arms. They were beginning to shake.

Panic began to set in. Jacob rather awkwardly tried to roll over and get up, but misjudged and lost balance resulting in him unceremoniously tumbling off the berth and slamming into the metal floor.

Jacob cursed loadly as he tried to bite down the pain racking his body.

He tried calling out, but his throat was dry and Irajah's name simply came out as a croak.

[member="Irajah Ven"] [member="Connor Harrison"]

 

[Kuzo]

Irajah wasn't particularly good at hiding how she was feeling. Sometimes she managed it, but more often than not, even when she tried, it was fairly obvious.

Events had unfolded in a way that hadn't left social engagements possible for either of them. They didn't have anything more between them than a few words and a potential something. But when the door opened, her face split in to a grin when she saw [member="Connor Harrison"]. There was the obvious relief that now she'd hopefully find out what she could do for [member="Jacob Crawford"], but there was also the simple happiness of seeing him again. She didn't look too deeply into it, didn't analyze or poke. She was just glad to see him.

"Connor, it's good to see you," she said, still smiling, offering a small, self conscious wave of her own in return.

Though her brows furrowed slightly a moment later, head tilting slightly as he stepped into the ship and the door closed behind him. She couldn't put her finger on exactly what was wrong- but his posture, the heaviness of each step, and-

She blinked.

His eyes. It was subtle- but one of the things she'd previously tried so hard to convince herself she *hadn't* noticed was how very blue his eyes were.

"What's wrong? Are you hurt-"

But when it rained, it poured.

Irajah

She felt it more than heard it. Her attention had been so deeply focused on the conundrum of Jacob (until the last few minutes) that she had, unintentionally, left some of that attention still on him. She couldn't have told someone how she'd done it, or even that she'd done it at all.

Her eyes widened slightly.

"Chit! I don't have time to explain- chit- Connor, please come with me but stay back okay? Don't do anything, please? Just.... just follow me."

​Irajah hurried down the corridor, producing a syringe from the pocket of her jacket. She looked back nervously at Connor.

"This is why I called you," she said, uncapping the syringe out of the door to the extra berth. "It's going to look weird, but I promise I'll explain everything-"

"Jacob? It's Irajah.... and my friend, we're coming in-"

If he didn't swat her down with the Force or lightening her, that would be a win in her book. If everything went well, she'd simply move across the room and inject him, and then they could all talk.....

 

[Connor Harrison]

The last ray of light he had. Her smile made his heart swell.

Her frown made his heart break.

She was always perceptive, and realistic. Irajah wasted little time in making it known she was happy, but also concerned. And so she should be. Connor had changed since the last time they had met - but his feelings hadn't.

Wanting to speak and answer her, the doctor snapped out of her bubble there and then, and commanded the situation taking off into the ship leaving him with no choice but to follow. Connor did, wishing he could freeze time or just have a few moments, but he was here for another reason, and he quickly kept up with Irajah, watching what she was doing.

Jacob? Not a name he could place, but he was here to help as best he could.

The doors opened, and he followed, still feeling and sensing nothing. The man was on the floor in an otherwise sterile yet somewhat eerie room. Made even more eerie by the fact the Force was blind to him.

Connor hung back, watching everything, saying nothing, ready to move to her side if he had to. But what could he do to help her now? He was nothing but a liability to her.

[member="Irajah Ven"] | [member="Jacob Crawford"]

 

[Jacob Crawford]

Jacob's body felt like it was on fire, as if an inferno was spreading out from his damaged ribs. He was currently lying on his left, and the slightest movement sent a jolt of pain through his body.

The pain, i-it's too much...

Stop whimpering like a child, move!

I can't! The p-

His hearing began to deafen as his vision became blurry. It felt as if everything was closing in around him, just as the power inside him was trying to surface.

Use it. It may be a hindrance at this moment, but you can take it and make it into a tool!

Jacob, you cannot listen to him!

Shut up...

Jacob. Hear me!

I said shut up!

Then he heard Irajah's voice, just barely through the door and his deteriorating hearing. The burning in his chest began to enrage, shifting and churning erratically in response, the panic setting in.

Use it!

With a deep breath Jacob pushed himself up onto his knees, almost tipping over to the right. The wild fire reached his arms as he slowly stood up, the shaking fading as he tried to focus, to control the inferno. He managed to lift himself up into a crouch, before a sharp pain tore through his left side.

And just like that the focus began to slip and Jacob crumpled to his knees once more, his limbs suddenly feeling a lot more heavier.

He heard the door open and he tried to lift his head up.

"Hurry." Was all he said, barely a whisper out of his dry throat.

[member="Irajah Ven"] [member="Connor Harrison"]

 

[Kuzo]

"Maw drenched chit," she muttered angrily.

The anger wasn't directly at [member="Jacob Crawford"]. But at the people who had done this to him. And at herself. Until they sorted this out, in a way he was her responsibility. She should have been paying more attention. Shouldn't have let it get this far. The pain on his face- in the way his body curled in on itself- she could have prevented that if she'd-

The recriminations boiled beneath the surface as she crossed the room, kneeling beside him. Taking his arm gently, she inserted the needle.

Turning her head, she looked up at [member="Connor Harrison"] where he hovered, looking helpless and... something else, but what she couldn't tell exactly.

"Connor, this is Jacob Crawford," she said quietly. "And I'm hoping that you can help him."

​Looking back down at Jacob, she backed up to give him space, but staying near in case he needed help. Not that her helping him up wouldn't be ridiculously comical or anything. But the petite doctor would if it was needed anyway.

"He's a force user, but....." she trailed off. "Maybe it's best if he explains it. Once you're feeling up to it," she addressed Jacob again.

 

[Connor Harrison]

Who was this man? Why was he here? Why was Connor even here? What could he do?

Wiping his hand across his brow at the introduction, pieces started falling into place. Connor had been brought here because he was a Force user. Had been. Irajah needed his help, and probably this man. A victim of some torture? A medical experiment? Force knows.

Feeling a wave of nausea, he had to tell her, and quickly. But there was no chance for that. She was there, by the man’s side, helping out, and he was evidently on some borrowed time.

Connor swallowed and brushed his cloak to the side and knelt in his new charcoal grey tunic, which was a call his past and now future, and the first time Irajah would have seen him in his Jedi – former Jedi – attire.

He looked at the man in pain intently to lend a helping hand with the For -

Nothing.

His fingers clenched and his breath surged. He couldn’t feel any aura, sense any danger or assess his state of mind.

"What’s going on," he asked, and shot a glance to Irajah. "I need to talk to you, as soon as," came his hushed voice for her ears only.

Talk about the wrong time – everything important was on the line here. And he didn’t mean the fate of the man on the floor.

[member="Irajah Ven"] | [member="Jacob Crawford"]

 

[Jacob Crawford]

Jacob let out a relieved groan as felt the stim work its way through his system. He just laid there in silence, breathing steadily as his sense gradually came back to him.

He glanced down at himself as he felt the fire within begin to recede, as the chemicals began to wash over it. But it was refusing to disappear entirely; instead it just settled into his chest. Like a cloak or shield, holding it in.

He's finally seeing it.

And yet he believes the flames have just been stoked, that is a lie.

Jacob blocked the voices out, his attention focusing back to reality as he tried standing up. His legs wobbled, still feeling the effects but after a few seconds he was able to stand up under his own power.

"I-I'm fine, thank you." He said, showing a grateful smile towards [member="Irajah Ven"]. "And I'm sorry, I underestimated the timing, the fact the stim would wear off while I was sleeping."

He stood to his full height and stretched slightly, he felt no pain in his ribs anymore. Though now he knew it was a lie, a placebo effect of the stimulants.

Jacob took the moment to look at [member="Connor Harrison"] and frowned. He could see something in the man's expression as he whispered to Irajah. Urgency

"But I could do with some water." His attention lingered away from the two other occupants as a realisation struck him, and a hot flash suddenly spread across his neck.

Small room; too many people. Cell. Prison. Leave.

"I'll go get it." He didn't allow for any response as he strode out of the room in a hurry. Jacob made quick work as he moved about, getting his glass of water and sitting down onto one of the lounge seats.

 

[Kuzo]

Clearly oblivious to the undercurrents, Irajah nodded at [member="Jacob Crawford"].

"Are you sure? I can get it- Take it easy, okay? You've been through a lot."

Of course he ignored her and she relented, looking a little baffled but accepting. She plopped unceremoniously on the floor, a little winded from the rush, and happy to be just sitting for a moment. She'd force herself back up in a minute. It wasn't until he left though that she turned her eyes back to [member="Connor Harrison"].

Her gaze soften a little.

"Thank you for coming," she said softly. "Once I understood a little of what's happened to him, you were the first person I thought of. I know I can trust you, and you'd understand the urgency."

Irajah looked up at him, hazel eyes casting back and forth between his grey ones, searching for..... what she wasn't completely sure. But something was wrong.

"I'm sorry, I'm kind of throwing all this at you. What did you need to talk to me about?"

 

[Connor Harrison]

Connor watched Jacob leave, deducing he was a warrior of sorts from the way he held himself and his stature. A Jedi? Sith? It was important right now…unless he turned on Connor, and then it WAS important because he’d be mincemeat.

He looked to Irajah, those big eyes warming him instantly and that supportive wave that...that he couldn’t feel anymore. That hurt more than anything else.

He fought the urge to breakdown again, feeling it was not just the Force as a power that had been cut from him, but the ability to feel a connection to those close to him. Connor reached forward and took her hand in his, and held it, wrapping both hands around hers and holding them to his face for a moment.

"It’s fine," he muttered.

It was happening again. The loss. The pain of hurting someone close. It was coming….he had that gut feeling and it felt horrible. Glancing to where Jacob had gone, it was quieter now. Connor looked at her and sighed.

"Just let me say it, and then try to understand. I have parted from the Silver Jedi Order. I no longer serve them, and I am now going to follow the Dark Side of the Force to side with those who can provide more for the people of the galaxy. Jedi and those in the Light are motivated by starting wars, being in control and manipulating governments – I don’t want that. I don’t. I have so much pain from them over the years. It’s over."

He shifted, hands flexing on hers.

"I’m not saying Sith, not yet, but my eyes are opening beyond the Jedi, ok? But there’s something else - " he took a breath, " – the Silver Jedi confronted me when I returned for my belongings and they used a Wall Of Light. Basically they’ve severed my connection to the Force."

Her face seemed to fall, but in what? Sorrow? Fear? Sadness? Confusion? He couldn’t tell.

"I can’t feel anything. I can’t use the Force – I can’t do anything. I’m blind to it. When I came here, I couldn’t feel your presence." A hand moved to gently cup the side of her face, his eyes heavy. "I couldn’t feel you. And now I’m going to be useless to you and those I want to serve until I find the one who can restore my connection to the Force, but she is a Sith. Matsu Xiangu. A clever and resourceful Sorceress who is going to help me. Ok?"

While it felt good to be honest, and let it out, he really didn’t know how she would react. His bent leg stated to shake a little in nervous anticipation. He rested his brow on their hands.

"I am sorry. I am so sorry if I have let you down."

[member="Irajah Ven"] | [member="Jacob Crawford"]

 

[Kuzo]

Irajah listened in silence the whole time he spoke, brow furrowed with concern as she followed his narrative. So much of how he must be feeling was lost on her- though a force sensitive herself, she didn't have the training to understand how much he'd truly lost- but it was clear how very heavy it weighed on him.

She faltered a little bit, learning that it was possible to sever someone from the Force. While she was untrained for the most part, she was also keenly aware (and horrified) by the implications of her own situation.

It wasn't until he apologized that she looked confused, but only for a heartbeat as it clicked. At least, part of what he was afraid of.

She slid her hands so she could thread her fingers between his.

"Connor," she said, quiet but firm, "Look at me."

When he did, he'd find a smile on her face. It was there specifically for him- not one of happiness, but of 'you dope.'

"I'm sorry this is what you're going through right now," she continued then. "I can't even begin to imagine what it must feel like, and I won't insult us both by pretending I can."

She squeezed his hands gently.

"I called you for help- and you came. That's the part that matters, that tells me who you are. I didn't ask for you to come because you were a Jedi. If anything, I called you despite that. I'm sorry that you thought I was going to be disappointed by..... what I'm not entirely sure. Connor, I have private labs on Panatha and Maena now, for crying out loud. ​If you think being involved with the Sith is a reason to be ashamed, or think I'd be ashamed of you, you haven't been paying attention. Which is okay- you had a lot going on," her smile widened a little, teasing him. "Yeah, they're devious and out for themselves, but then, so are most people. At least they're honest about it."

Truly, she liked [member="Matsu Xiangu"] and [member="Darth Prazutis"]. Well, maybe liked was the wrong word in the later case, that was complicated.

"You came," she repeated. "Even with what happened. It would have been completely understandable if you hadn't. But you're here. And I'm glad you are. And maybe it's a good thing for you too. Maybe I can help you both."

[member="Connor Harrison"] [member="Jacob Crawford"]

 

[Connor Harrison]

He was cold. He was scared. If this is what the darkness felt like, then Connor was better off...

Irajah linked her fingers through his.

He looked at them, and then at her.

Again, she proved why she was a dozen times better than he with her words. Selfless. Caring. Understanding. Real. So it seemed a little more of the flower blossomed there before him, if she had links and connections with the Sith. While it was not a surprise, it was quite a revelation and she seemed fine with it. With him. Was it acceptance? Was she accepting HIM now the way he was, this low?

He wasn't that cold, or scared now. He felt strong. He felt like there was now someone to fight for. Irajah gave him spirit.

"I will do what I must for them, Irajah, the Sith. They can offer me a future. But I promise you I will never become a monster. Thank you," he kissed her hand and held it to his cheek, clutching onto that hope, He fought the urge to breakdown again, feeling it was not just the Force as a power that had been cut from him, but the ability to feel a connection to those close to him. Connor reached forward and took her hand in his, and held it, wrapping both hands around hers and holding them to his face for a moment. "I came for you. I'm here. If you call, I will be here for you. Thank you for not hating me,"

Composing himself and savouring the moment, for these moments often collapsed around him soon after, Connor looked up and filled his lungs with air. She needed help, and possibly that man. He'd given them this time, so that much was decent about him.

"I'm sorry. Come, you wanted my help. Show me."

He looked at her once more, not wanting the moment to end, but knowing he had to prove himself in more ways than one in the moments to follow. His eyes flicked behind her shoulder to see the man drinking his water. Waiting.

[member="Irajah Ven"] | [member="Jacob Crawford"]

 

[Kuzo]

Maybe it was out of ignorance. Maybe it was simply that she had that much faith in him. But all she could whisper in that moment was:

"You couldn't possibly be a monster, Connor. I can't even imagine it."

The feeling of his lips on her hand sent a flood of warmth through her. Her smile was soft.

"Everything's going to be fine," she promised, meaning it.

She was wrong, of course. But neither of them could know it yet.

Standing up first, she leaned over, brushing her lips against the top of his head for the barest trace of a moment. "Thank you," she whispered into his hair before standing up completely.

"Come on, we can talk more later, okay? But, right now, this can't wait."

Irajah headed out in to the lounge, looking a little self conscious, but otherwise in command of her space and actions.

"Feeling a little better now Jacob?"

[member="Jacob Crawford"] [member="Connor Harrison"]

 

[Jacob Crawford]

Once he had been seated, Jacob had made sure he deafened himself to the sounds around him. Most especially the conversation [member="Irajah Ven"] and [member="Connor Harrison"] were having. The ship wasn't exactly big enough to be out of earshot and he figured the duo wanted some privacy.

Focused on his own thoughts, it occured to Jacob that he had for once blocked out the voices in his head. He could still feel them in the back of his mind, but it seemed as though they were suddenly incapable of speaking to him. Which he was eternally grateful for. Don't get him wrong, they had been especially helpful at times; namely when fighting the beasts, but they were an ever consistant source of headaches if one got on the nerve of the other.

He tried to recall his memories, but the last clear one he had; besides the time on Dxun, was as a child on Nar Shaddaa. After that there was just a blank space, until he hit the hazy five years and the more recent, very real past year.

Jacob didn't even hear the two as they walked up to him, nor when Irajah spoke. It was clear he had to them, actively blocked them out, and apparently got lost into his thoughts if the distance gaze in his eyes was anything to go by.

It took nearly a minute before he finally snapped back to reality. Jacob drank some more water before he spoke.

"What? Oh, right yeah sorry. I'm doing better yeah." There was truth in his ramble, but all the same he didn't seem to entirely believe it himself. "I will say Doctor Ven, that if you hadn't told me about my ribs...well I certainly felt the pain when I woke up." Jacob looked down and gently prodded the area with his hand. "Honestly I'm amazed I can't feel it still."

He turned his attention back to Connor and Irajah. "Sorry yes, you should probably have a seat. This might take a while."

Once the pair were settled; seated or not, Jacob looked at Connor.

"Right, so I should probably catch you up to speed."

And so with a deep breath he began retelling the events of Dxun. Starting with his sudden appearance on the moon, his initial encounter with the wildlife; and the fact he had used the Force to fend them off. His capture and 'imprisonment' by the Onderonians, and the fact they had forced him into fighting their captured beasts for some manner of testing. Following that Jacob mentioned they had constantly pumped him with stimulants to keep his 'wild tendancies at bay', when he was sleeping, eating or training.

"Usually the stimulants wear off right before I had to fight. When they do it's like...something inside me that has been stifled is finally able to breath again and it wants out. My arms begin shaking and I just instinctively lash out, with the Force I guess. There was also an occasion during my escape where I just, blew up and just sent everyone around me flying. That one though hurt me, like the coughing up blood sort."

As Jacob continued he brought up his last fight, the fact he had apparently been dealt a nasty blow to his back and was confined to a bacta tank for months. Then one day he woke up, out of the tank and the facility was in chaos. He brought up how animalistic he felt during his escape, admitting that he had lashed out at every scientist he came across. He ended his story with the fact he eventually met up with Irajah, who had apparently been asked; randomly it seemed, to come get him off Dxun. That hadn't exactly been easy or pleasant with the rampaging beasts and such.

One thing Jacob intentionally did though, was omitting the fact he had accidently attacked Irajah upon meeting her, resisting the urge to glance her way when he had reached that point in his story.

It was obvious there was more to tell beyond those events, but Jacob decided to finish off his water and see what they had to say. Albeit most of it Irajah already knew, aside from the whole visciously lashing out on the scientists bit.

 

[Connor Harrison]

Nodding quickly, Connor let Irajah help him up and came to find their man - Jacob - was back and ready to actually be part of the conversation now the unstable one with the bad eye had finished.

He took a seat, resting his arms on his knees and linking his hands. While Jacob talked, Connor tried his best to focus and listen, but it was easier said than done with the distractions. Irajah. The Force. Unable to read the man before him.

His fingers rubbed together as he tried to make sense of it. To be fair, Connor thought he knew what the issue was from the off, but without feeling anything of the man's aura, he was taking blind guesses in the dark.

"Right, ok, forgive me if I'm a bit slow," he said, rubbing his brow with a hand, "so you were on Dxun. Can I ask what side of the Force you toy with, Light or Dark? As in, are you Jedi Order or Sith?"

His answers would help piece a little more information together about his own issues and also Irajah's involvement.

[member="Jacob Crawford"] | [member="Irajah Ven"]

 

[Jacob Crawford]

Jacob raised an eyebrow at Connor's question. He knew what they were, Jedi; Light, Sith; Dark, but he had no concrete answer. That was the crux of the problem

"Yeah that's part of the issue, you see uh..." Jacob paused as he scratched the back of his head sheepishly. "I can't remember like twenty or more years of my life."

He almost seemed to shrink or slump into his seat, this was the first time he was actually telling anyone about this besides Doctor Pryce back on Dxun.

"Like I mean, the last clear as day memory I have is being eleven years old, on Nar Shaddaa and this overwhelming happiness that I was finally leaving. But after that it's just a long stretch of nothing until like, six years ago? One of those being on Dxun of course."

Jacob stumbled over his words when he mentioned the last few years. His entire complexion suddenly became pale as his mind dwelled on it.

"I-I can't clearly remember those five years, yet somehow they're quite vivid. Or rather they give off strong emotions whenever I think about it, or dream. Heck, I think the only reason I know how long is because I think I was always counting the days." Jacob took a deep breath as he collected himself, his skin returning to its normal color gradually.

"It felt like hell, I think it's called..." He paused as he tried to remember what Pryce had said. "The Netherworld?"

[member="Irajah Ven"] [member="Connor Harrison"]

 

[Connor Harrison]

Jacob's story didn't hook him. Covering over twenty years of lost memories was hard enough, but Connor didn't know the man. And he had no Force-related ability. Irajah would have hope Connor could fill the gaps, but he couldn't even fill his own.

However, a certain world made his head snap up.

"The Netherworld?" His face was stern. "You were in there too? For months I thought it was a Force-related dream, some nightmare. I could do things there I couldn't do in this place. Enhanced ability. Cheating death. Even teleportation."

With a frown, he rubbed his chin, thinking.

"I wasn't the same coming out of there too. So what you're saying is you can't remember most of your adult life. And you don't know where you stand as an ally or enemy." Better to play safe. "I would imagine you were a Sith warrior, with your planets visited. I doubt a Jedi would be out there alone, but I really don't know."

Shaking his head, he looked at Irajah.

"I'm sorry, I...I don't know what you wanted from me. I can't help in my state. What do you think is wrong with him?"

[member="Jacob Crawford"] | [member="Irajah Ven"]

 

[Kuzo]

"I have a couple of theories," Irajah said slowly, pushing off of the counter where she'd been leaning.

She had listened to the recitation and questions in silence, absorbing the parts she hadn't known and settling them in to the larger picture. The news about the scientists wasn't terribly surprising- not after what they'd done to him, and the state he was in at the time. Her mouth has set into a thin line. But the thoughtful expression had taken over again not long after, a small frown curving her lips.

"I'm not entirely certain if it matters what flavor of the Force you used, Jacob," she continued, coming over to perch on the back of the circular couch that surrounded the central table. "Though figuring it out might give us some ideas on where to start looking for more information about you. You had a life, before, and there must be some record of it- people who knew you....."

There was a slight twinge in her chest as she said that. It was possible, of course, that there wasn't any of that for him. Hopefully that wasn't the case.

"I have no idea what you two are talking about with this 'Netherworld' though," she continued, her frown deepening. "It sounds like neither of you know a lot about it either. I'll see what I can dig up, I'm sure the archives on Dosuun will have something. Otherwise I'll ask.... other contacts."

[member="Matsu Xiangu"] and [member="Darth Prazutis"] might be able to shed some light on that aspect. If both of them had come out changed.... it must have extended to other Force Users as well.

She made a frustrated sound in her throat, looking at both of them in turn. She wasn't annoyed at either of them, just at the situation.

"I can't speak to why you've forgotten everything, Jacob. Maybe more information will help- I just don't have enough data to go on," she murmured, chagrined. "But I do have some ideas on the stimulants, just.... nothing we can do about it here."

"And it's alright Connor," she said, offering him a tight smile. She didn't apologize for calling him- after all, "I'm still glad you came."

She rubbed the bridge of her nose. "But I don't think we're going to get anything accomplished here. We need more information and resources.... for both of you."

Throwing up her hands slightly, she chuckled and shook her head. "You're both just going to have to come back to Dosuun with me. We'll be able to sort everything out there."

[member="Connor Harrison"] [member="Jacob Crawford"]

 

[Jacob Crawford]

Jacob frowned slightly as Connor talked about his experiences with the Netherworld. As Jacob had stated moments ago, he could only recall emotions. Fear and terror being the main two. Never actual events whether by his hand or done to him. Though there was that one moment when everything just snapped, and went quiet paving way for the voices.

"I should probably mention that I also hear voices in my head. Two of them to be specific. I'm assuming they're just part of this whole problem, but I don't think they were a thing when I first entered the Netherworld."

He looked at Connor as the man brought up the idea of him being a sith warrior. Jacob simply shrugged. What little he knew, he knew at the least that Sith were generally known for action and fighting. "I guess? I mean I'm very combat oriented, but I would say that was more because of circumstances in my childhood."

Jacob leaned back in his seat as he listened to Irajah. When she brought up the fact he had a life, something suddenly clicked in his mind.

"Karking hell...I don't even remember that stuff. Do I live somewhere? Have a family? Obligations? Friends?" Jacob cursed under his breath as he just dropped his head into his hands. A few seconds later though he looked up at Irajah again. "There would be databases and such right? I've had to have been registered somewhere in the galaxy."

"Maybe it'll clue me on some places I can go visit, help regain my lost memories." Jacob realised that would be difficult, atleast right now. "Though that would involve having to get a ship or transport in general."

He gave Irajah a curious look when she mentioned the stimulants, assuming she was referring to an alternative to them. Jacob wasn't foolish to believe that he'd be able to go on forever with it. The voices had on occasion, pushed the notion that he'd at some point have to deprive himself of them and find a way of not relying on them.

It wasn't going to be a pleasant time.

At the mention of Dosuun, Jacob simply nodded. "I agree, I'm certainly not going to manage much until my ribs are taken care of."

[member="Irajah Ven"] [member="Connor Harrison"]