Sarge Potteiger
Emotional Damage
Naboo - Lake County
Dress shoes clicking on the stone roadway leading to Lake County, Sarge paused momentarily as a gap in the trees afforded him a view of the crystal clear water. A smile forming on his lips, he pulls his cover off and tucks it under his arm as he takes a few minutes to just stop and stare out across the lake.
Leaning forward, he could just catch a glimpse of his home around the bend and he found the smile growing a little bit. It was a large home, far larger than he could ever need. It felt empty, and made him feel far more alone than he otherwise would. But it was a beautiful place.
The wedding had been as good as he'd thought a wedding would be - The Exarch's and Colonel's was the first he'd ever been to - but he wasn't staying. A severe introvert, any gatherings exhausted him within minutes of people starting to converse.
It was why he typically left parties long before they were ever done; he was just too tired from it. Heels clicking on the steps leading to the front gate, he paused to dig around for his ID which would open the large security gateway. "Son of a...." There it was. And then he dropped it.
"Kark me."
Posted 27 September 2013 - 09:23 PM
Coryth had her own reasons to be in lake country. Nothing to do with the wedding at all. One she was drawn there for reasons she wasn't aware. Too, there was the cabin out this way that she needed to visit, to clean out. It was left to her in the will. Just something she wasn't aware of until recently.
Slowly she found herself walking down a cobbled stone road, not wanting to deal with the cabin by the lake. Not wanting to mess with such stuff. Maybe she'd just sell it without ever returning. It seemed like a good idea. Maybe it was for the best to close that chapter of her life and move on. She needed to move on, not dwell on the past.
It was then ahead of her she saw a familiar figure. Her head cocked inquisitively to the side. A touch of the force out to him, and she knew exactly who that was. Sarge ... What was he doing here? Coryth quickened her pace and soon caught up with him, about the moment he dropped the ID. The tiny woman knelt before him, gingerly picked it up and handed it back to him. "Bad day?" She asked, not even asking why he was here too. She suspected the wedding that everyone else had gone to.
Posted 27 September 2013 - 09:44 PM
"No, no.", he says. "Just hate dropping things." It was something of a pet peeve, really. Pausing as he recognized her voice, he looked up and smiled. "Oh, hello Cory.", he says with a bit of enthusiasm. "Was at a wedding.", he admits a bit sheepishly, taking his ID and opening the gate that sat between the two large hedgerows.
Beyond the gate lay another stone pathway and he paused as he stood, gate held open by one hand. "What are you out here for?"
Posted 28 September 2013 - 12:16 AM
Coryth gave a nod to him, understanding, who couldn't? "Hey Sarge." She said with a soft smile, least one of her closest friends was out here.. Waiting for him to open the gate, she nodded once more. "Hate weddings." Her voice noticeably softer. Losing her fiance so close to her own wedding had made it a sore spot for her. Not a place she wished to be in a million years. Doubting she'd ever walk down that aisle, not with the past. Not with her love still tied up elsewhere.
"Eh ..." She sighed, "Business. Seems some property was left to me a while back. Didn't know it till the lawyer pinned me down a week ago. Handed the deed over to me." She gave a tiny smile, really just the upward turn on the very outer edge of her lips. "Not too far from here. A cabin on the edge of the lake and the woods."
Posted 28 September 2013 - 12:30 AM
Motioning for her to go through the gate, Sarge allowed her to pass through first before following after her, the metal partition swinging close behind them. "I've never been to one, myself." He admits quietly, before nodding. He knew what she was talking about, and how hard it must have been for her to be here.
"Might be able to see it from my place.", he says as they round a faint bend in the path and found themselves in the finely groomed backyard of Sarge's lake home. In front of them was a small building, but beyond that and set lower into the downward sloping hill was the rest of the home.
The expanse of blue water was arrayed in front of them, sunlight catching the gently undulating surface of the vast expanse of water. "I admit I don't spend much time here."
Yes, this was most certainly out of his paygrade. Far beyond it, in fact.
Posted 28 September 2013 - 12:42 AM
As soon as the gate closed behind them she fell in line beside him. "Not much fun, unless you're the one getting married, honestly. Been a bridesmaid a few times, never the bride." The last words seemed saddened, but she didn't feel like explaining. He might have been able to guess why it bothered her.
She gave a nod, "Been a long time since I've been back here. Too long." Her voice still as soft as ever. "Really missed the lakes, the streams and rivers. Miss the waters round here." Water, always a source of calm, and solace for the little redhead. "Used to be my favorite place to come on those rare breaks I got every few years. Though then it was just a rental. It came up for market a few years after I started going."
Her eyes swept quickly across the property, a brow lofted as she tried to figure out how he managed to afford a place like this. The condo on Coronet was ... just as fine. Smaller, compact, but just as fine. It was something that made her wonder. "I'd spent every second here I could back then. Never really knew how much I missed it, until I stopped coming."
Walking forward, across the lake she looked, knowing the little peninsula it stood on well. It was still etched into her mind, burned into it. It was not something she could ever forget. "That cabin was the one place I didn't have nightmares and visions every night." Finally after a while, she spotted the little cabin. Small, humble, with a large balcony area, even viewable from here. Lifting a hand she pointed down far across the waters. "The little river down there, to it's right. The peninsula, the cabin's on the very end. You can see the glass sparkling from the windows on the balcony. If fact the bedroom on the upper level is all windows on the side facing the lake."
Posted 28 September 2013 - 12:53 AM
Yeah, he knew why; or at least he could figure it out. Some things weren't truly meant to be touched by anyone until the person it affected brought it up first. "Yeah, I had a place like that when I was little. Or rather, my grandparents did. I never wanted to go as a kid, but as I got older I realized I could appreciate it for what it was."
He smiled, resting his arms on the rail of the balcony as he looked towards where she was pointing. "Ah, whataya know you can see it from here." Chuckling in amusement, he shook his head and opened the balcony doors to go inside, where he set his cover on the piano he had set there.
"Something to drink, Coryth? It's a bit hot out today; not sure how long you've been out and about."
Posted 28 September 2013 - 01:15 AM
"Makes ya wish you had more places like that, doesn't it?" A few memories danced through her head as she looked down to the cabin. "Good places, good memories. Can never really complain about that. It may not seem like much, certainly not like this place, but for me there's plenty of room. But this coming from the woman who has lived in closet sized spaced for much of her life. Anything is huge compared to that." A soft chuckle followed, happier, in a better place now and away from the hard memories and sadness.
"Funny to think you'd only need a boat to visit me over there. Practically neighbors." She teased. "Though, I'm not sure I'll actually hang on to the place. All depends what shape its in now. Cause I don't have time to maintain anything beyond the Prophetess and she is enough work as it is."
Turning she gave a nod to him. "Sure, been wandering for hours, visiting old places I used to see all the time. Could use a good drink." She was right behind him, curiously glancing to the piano as she came in the balcony door behind him.
Posted 28 September 2013 - 01:49 AM
"Well, I imagine it should be in semi-decent shape. Probably could just use a good dusting or two.", he jokes, walking out of the room and through another and then into the kitchen. He's quiet while he's in there, but he comes out a moment or two later with water. "I'd give you liquor, but it'd just dehydrate you."
Dehydration wasn't a pleasant thing, especially considering how small she was. "But I'm all for us being neighbors. We can wave stupid hand-written signs at each other. Although they'd have to be stupidly large for that to work." The man looked decidedly out of place and uncomfortable in a home so large, his eyes roaming the high ceilings and spacious rooms.
"Take a seat wherever, Coryth. Make yourself at home." He himself took a seat at the piano bench, if only because it seemed to be the closest. "I take it you were on your way over when you saw me?"
Posted 28 September 2013 - 01:30 PM
"One could hope." She said with a smile, "Though as long as there aren't rodents inside I'll probably be good." Oddly enough the little Jedi feared rodents. She had a good reason to, but that was a story for another day. "Water's fine. Don't really want alcohol, today." Her voice a little softer."Rarely drink anymore if I'm honest." Reaching out she gingerly took the glass from him, taking a sip.
"Well, there is always the option of macro-binoculars! Don't need large signs then." A smirk danced on her lips. "Though in that case I'll have to remember not to walk through the bedroom stark naked. Can't have you getting a nice view for free." Clearly teasing him once more. "Now can we?"
She gave a bit of a nod, found the couch nearest to the piano and Sarge and flopped down tiredly. "Yeah, I was. Saw you, thought I'd say hello, hang out for a little while." To avoid having to go see it. Cory finished within her head. "You know, the norm for me."
Posted 28 September 2013 - 02:07 PM
"The norm of avoiding things, you mean?" Say what you wanted about Sarge, but the man knew people and how to read them. Words left unsaid were a specialty of his, and that was because the kids he'd grown up around were always ones to say one thing but mean entirely another.
Or at least, that's what he chalked it up to. Or it could just be that he'd been alive far longer than most working for a man with only one expression - moderately annoyed.
Chuckling a bit, he raised his brows at hers. "Hey, you wanna give me a free show... I guess I could always return the favor. Play the piano naked or something."
Yup. He just went there.
Posted 28 September 2013 - 05:49 PM
Coryth frowned, a sigh to follow. "Yeah, that would be it." The happiness of moments before fading nearly completely away. "I think you know me too well sometimes. Can't hide a thing from you. That or I just suck at lies and lies of omission." Which that part entirely true, the tiny redhead could not lie to save her life. Something that was bound to get her in trouble one of these days.
"Just don't want to go back. I need to. Just that was, our cabin. He purchased it for us. So there is a lot there to manage. The memories are some of the best times I've ever had. It's just, I'm not sure I'm ready. I keep trying to talk myself into it. It's why I've spent the last five hours wandering around this side of the lake, trying to talk me into it. That cabin means the worlds to me, so much of his and my life in our times together were spent there." She knew the cabin would be hard, just nearly as hard as the grave site which was still a raw wound that tore at her. Though, she let very little of it show, not wanting people to truly know how broken down she was, or to know how often she cried herself to sleep alone.
Thankfully Sarge went right back into his humor, a true laugh drawn from her. "Well, if you want to play that game? I mean ... I guess my show wouldn't quite be given away without getting something in return." She said with a wink following. Then it dawned on her. "Never saw you as much of a piano man. Seemed more like a Sax kind of guy." It was odd to think of him as a piano player.
Posted 28 September 2013 - 06:10 PM
"Then keep it and buy a protocol droid or two to maintain it in your absence - you'll make more than enough money as an officer in OmegaPyre to pay for a few droids." That was true. She started out with a base salary very similar to his, and he'd had to work his way up to this pay grade.
Although he supplemented his pay through other means. "The longer you put it off, the worse it'll be due to nerves building up.", he says quietly. Giving her what he hoped was a comforting smile, he set the glass on the floor and nodded with a laugh. "I always make sure to give the women in my life something in return to make it worth their while...", he says with a mischievous grin.
Winking to him was just awkward, so he never did it. Grins were his thing.
"No, I'm pretty musically retarded.", he says with a shrug. "Especially for things like sax's or trumpets. I do have an ear for guitars and pianos, though." That was true, he could discern them fairly easy. "Was on Zeltros one day and ran into Anara Valnor who taught me piano and gave me a little vocal coaching."
Anara Valnor, famed Jedi Master rock guru and master of many a varied musical devices. It seemed Sarge knew just about everyone in some way, shape or form. He hadn't told her yet about his association with the former Sith Empress. Cira was the only one privy to that.
Posted 02 October 2013 - 03:02 AM
That was a thought that hadn't occurred to the little Jedi. Droids were generally the last thing she thought of. "Not really considered that. I tend to forget about droids as an option for such. But I guess that would be a solution. It pains me to let go of the place." She wasn't ready, to say the least. "This .... having money thing, I'm not used to. I tend to forgot that I get paid for my duties these days. Not just with a kind word, with actually cashey goodness. You know I've only spent about three hundred of what I've gotten so far. Can't seem to find things I desire. I'm just ..."A sigh came, closing her eyes for a moment as she took a sip from her glass before setting it on and end table. "far too used to being a Jedi. Far too used to going without."
Nodding slowly, she knew he was right. "I know, Sarge. It's something I've got to do. The wounds are still so raw. My emotions still tattered at the edges, I'm not sure I'm ready to tackle that emotional mountain that I know waits for me behind those cabin doors. We both still have clothes there, photographs, and the like. So many memories in that place. One of the few places of peace I ever knew."
A soft chuckle came, a bit surprised at him. The more she got to know him, the more layers peeled away, the more intriguing she found him."Always wanted to learn to play something." A random thought. "Never really imagined you playing anything. It's a strange thing to wrap my head around. Music .. is a unique expression of one's soul." She gave a small nod as he went on. "Singing too? That's about the only thing I'd have any particular gift for. Still once again I find you surprise me at every turn. I always seem to learn something about you I never knew before. But it's a new layer to you, a new depth and I'm glad you're willing to share such with me." It had been ages since she'd been close enough to anyone, letting them in and in turn they let her in on some level. It was something that warmed her heart and soul, happy to know she was capable of such a friendship again. There had been times she wondered if anything like that would ever fall into her lap.
Posted 02 October 2013 - 04:25 AM
@Coryth Elaris
"You'll be ready when you're ready Coryth.", he says finally, a mantra he'd repeated far too often over the past few weeks. Giving her a smile, he shook his head. "I'm not very good, but I can hold a tune and not make an ass of myself, and that's about all I want to do." That was honest.
His voice was horrendous if he wasn't singing anything but backwoods country music. "There's a lot more to me than people realize, I'm afraid." Sadly, most just saw him as a thug and left it at that. But he was a sentient with his own varied problems and interests, just like anyone else.
But he really only had himself to blame usually - he kept people at arms length. Posted 02 October 2013 - 02:57 PM
"I know. Just hate that it takes this long. I want it to be over with and the pain to ease away. But like all wounds it takes time. Will mend eventually, slowly, but there will always be the scars." Even with all this, the same sadness just wasn't there. It was becoming easier to speak of and not break down, but most of it she just kept well hidden. A smile still held on her lips. "Imagine you're better than you give yourself credit for." Most people were.
"Personally I just sing as an expression, a way to let go of how I feel in a more natural and less dangerous manner for others." Her empathy just as much a curse as it was a gift. She more than anyone had to keep herself under control at all times to prevent others from suffering her misery on top of whatever else they might have been feeling.
She gave a bit of a reassuring smile as he spoke. "I know, my dear friend. But I want to know much more to you than I know now. The real you. Others might not be interested or give a crap, but you know I do. So kark em, don't even fret on it. You're so much more than that. If people don't want to give you that consideration, they are not worth your time."
@Sarge Potteiger
Posted 02 October 2013 - 03:29 PM
@Coryth Elaris
Oh, he wanted to kiss her - he well and truly did. But instead, he shifted, throwing his legs to the other side of the bench as he relaxes his shoulders and runs his hands across the white keys of the grand piano set in front of him. Slowly, looking down, he aligned his shoes with the pedals and gave Coryth a faintly sheepish look. "You want to know the real me...?", he asks with a slow, sad smile.
Slowly, his fingers, long and slender, began to move across the keys, familiarizing themselves yet again with the keys and their sounds. No sheet music was going to be used, so he had to make sure he remembered the keys. After a minute or two, a definitive tune began to play out.
Smiling, he started from the beginning, this time the song coming out clear. With the faintest smile on his face, the man began to sing - his voice wasn't truly bad, but he'd never get beyond karaoke, and even that was questionable. But, he had two things right; he could stay on key, and he could put his heart and soul into it.
"Moonlight on canvas, midnight and wine...", he started out far from confident, although his fingers still danced across the keys with the ease of someone who did, in fact, know what they were doing. "Two shadows starting to softly combine." For a moment, his eyes turned sad, and haunted memories of the past came to the fore. "The picture they're painting is one of the heart... and to those who have seen it, it's a true work of art."
And with that, the keys were roughly forced down as his voice rose, the song reaching a crescendo almost immediately after starting. "Oh, the red stroke! Passions uncaged; thundering moments of tenderness rage. Woooooooaooooh, the red strokes tempered and strong burning the night like the dawn!"
And with that, it slowed down again, his voice dropping to a far more normal tone. He was vaguely aware there were technical terms for everything he was doing, but it was all beyond him. "Steam on the window, salt in a kiss, two hearts have never pounded like this. Inspired by a vision that they can't command, erasing the border... with each brush of a hand."
And again, he fell into the chorus, except this time, afterwards, he immediately sought to emulate the solo that Anara had played so perfectly. It was difficult, a piano wasn't an exact match, but he thought he got the job done. He didn't care anymore though, as this was now about unleashing everything he so often kept inside.
His passions: his anger, his lust, his love... everything. Coryth was getting a thunderstorm of emotion as he went through the song, good and bad. "And the blues will be blue, and then jealousy's green... but when love picks it's shade, it demands to be seeeeeEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNN." And once more, he delved into the chorus, fingers dancing and pounding their way up and down the keys once more.
And then, almost as quickly as he'd started, he brought it down to a close, hitting a few wayward keys as he threw in the last line; which was actually his favorite of the whole song; "Steam on the window, salt in a kiss, two hearts have never pounded like this." With that, he stopped, a few steadying breaths being taken as the emotional highs and lows balanced themselves out.
He was embarassed; he felt silly. But at the same time...? He didn't care, she'd gotten what she'd asked for. A song that showcased everything that was him.
Posted 08 October 2013 - 09:11 AM
@Sarge Potteiger
Coryth gave a small nod, "Of course I want to know the real you Sarge, not just the masks you and I both hide beneath." There was no doubt of that, the two of them had much they never let show, much they kept away from everyone else.
A bit of a soft smile came to her lips as she looked over watching as he started to play. Music, so beautiful to her ears. It may not have been perfect but it was beautiful to her. Amazing music, but what got her was the emotions she could feel burning behind his words. Line for line, there were powerful, stunningly strong emotions behind it, sadness, pain, loss, love, lust .... Never had she felt such powerful emotions from him before and this was amazing to feel. Most other storms of emotions would have hurt her, caused a headache, but she tempered it with care so she could truly feel each one and take it all in.
Truly by the end of the song she seemed stunned, unsure of what to say. It took her a few minutes before she could come around to find her words again. "I love this side of you." And I ... might just love you. She thought, not speaking the words aloud, something she might come to regret in the near future.
Rising to her feet, she walked over to him and drew him into a loving embrace, hugging him before she gave a soft, gentle kiss to his forehead. Then taking a seat beside him, she smiled happy to have seen this rare moment of Sarge. Shifting, she leaned over against him, just wanting to be a little closer to him. "It's a side I'd love to see more, know more of. Its beautiful, like a sunrise on a crisp autumn morning. The light mixing with the darkness, the beautiful colors. Its you, and that I could get used to seeing more of." It was that moment that it did hit her, she did love him. But part of her knew, knew those were words, she could not yet say. It was too soon, far too soon. She was still letting go of the one person she loved with everything she had. How is it possible that I might even dream to feel like that .. No. She told herself, trying to brush it away. She didn't want to feel like this. And chances were, he had someone, somewhere else and she doubted she was high on the list for such. No, those just words that would have to remain unspoken.
Posted 08 October 2013 - 04:24 PM
"Those weren't the words you were looking for.", the man says quietly, displaying his annoying ability to pick people apart like it was his job. Centuries of working with Ayden and his lack of expression had cultivated a need to know what someone truly meant and felt even if they weren't showing it. While he could puzzle out things like being lied to, he couldn't know what a person truly meant.
That was where guesswork came in, and he wasn't entirely sure there was much to guess beyond the obvious. Fingers pressing idly at the keys in a random melody, he furrows his brow as she comes over and embraces him, lips pressing to his forehead. A warm smile appearing on his face, he found himself even more attracted to her following the restrained display of affection.
"Coryth...", he begins slowly, as though almost afraid of what he was about to say. "You don't want to know the real, true me. The real me isn't masks. What you see in public? That's me. What you just saw? That's a deeper me. But within the depths of passion lies someone you truly do not want to meet."
Wetting his lips, he shakes his head. "Deep, below even my most sincere of romantic feelings is a darkness that can easily be unchained - it was these impulses that lead to me kicking a Sith Lord in the teeth with my boot. Those impulses made me shoot the Lady Protector when I was supposed to protect her. Though she may have jumped in the line of fire, I still pulled the trigger."
The man's emotion was still up for grabs, as he'd not deigned to put a reign on it since he'd finished the song. Raw pain emanated from him at failing his charge, but below it was a deep seated love that even Coryth could recognize - and it dueled with the obvious affection that he emitted whenever she came near.
Hands folding in his lap, he shakes his head. "I love you, you know. But I'm afraid of it, as I'm afraid of letting anyone get truly close to me. It means having to trust again, something I simply cannot truly do. And at the same time, I'm afraid of not telling my feelings to the others who are important to me in this life." Sighing, he wrings his hands together and lets his head hang for a moment.
"I don't know..."
Posted 09 October 2013 - 07:08 PM
Coryth's happiness, seemed to fade as her brows knitted together as he picked through her words sensing she meant something else. "No, they weren't." She admitted. No good at lying in the least little bit, so there was no point trying to hide it.
She seemed concerned as he started to speak, worried of what was coming what he'd say, worried about so much and such showed in every line on her face. She patiently let him say his piece before she said anything more.
A sigh came as she thought back to the worst days, the stuff of nightmares. "Sarge, there's something you need to know about me. I understand about the darkness and what lies deep in the depths of passion. I know far too well of those things. There is a reason I told you should I fall, to make sure I'm ended quickly. Because it would spare the galaxy much grief." The thoughts pained her even now, though many years had passed since she had committed the atrocities. "I know its someone I never want you to see, but just as much part of me as the hair on my head."
Another sigh followed, her gaze on the floor. This part of her she loathed, hated, and truly wished did not exist. "There came a time when I fell. Fell as far as someone like me can. I came to a border world, I was seeking my own fiance, because he was trying to stop me, to keep me from killing the Sith that had tortured me." Eyes closed now, not wanting to look up, not wanting to see. "I tore through the towns killing anything that moved. Literally crushing hearts on a whim, not because I had to, because I wanted to. Because I thrived on the feeling as they slipped away. A monster. Nothing but a cold blooded monster."
Everything about the way she held her body told of the deepest of regrets and more pain than even her own torture had brought her. "There are things I never want another to see about me. But at the same time, I hold the hope that I can tell the fullness of that story and not be turned away by one person in the galaxy. That I may find relief in. A tiny slim hope, but it still remains."
Those three little words, eight simply letters were the ones that always seemed to cut the deepest. Fear flooded her face when he said them, mixed with shock. "I ... I ..." She tried hard to find the words, getting visibly frustrated, pulling away she slammed her first on the bench beside them. "Why's this have to be so damn hard, so complicated? I'm afraid of those words. Eight freaking letters that terrify me!"
Soon she had turned away from him, leaned down her elbows on her knees as she buried her face in her hands, already feeling the familiar sting of tears welling up in her eyes. Not crying ... Not going to .. "It's not that I don't ... lo... l... looov .. love ... you." She struggled so hard just to make the words come out.
"I'm afraid to let myself love you. Afraid for very similar reasons. Every single damn person I love, I care for is gone. Dead, betrayed me or missing without a trace. Gone! I .." She turned back to him, tears starting to fall "I can't lose you like the others. I can't go back through so much pain. I don't want to be that open. So while I love you and I do. I don't know what I can do about it. I'm terrified."
She stopped brushing back stray hairs, "And the worst part, is that I feel like I'm betraying the memory of the last man I loved and wanted to spend my life with. It's complicated Sarge. And it's not that I don't want to love or care so deeply, I'm so frightened, and I feel so damn guilty when I shouldn't."
Posted 09 October 2013 - 07:20 PM
"Fear is the enemy Coryth." Fear had controlled his life for a long time, but just as with anything, you eventually crossed a threshold where it ceased to be a problem any more. "But you're a Force User. Of course you have Darkness. If you didn't, I'd be more concerned than if you did." The dichotomy of the Light Side and it's opposite was something ever User had to confront, and if they thought they didn't... well, they were simply wrong.
His arms found their way around her shoulders as he drew her against him and made a faint shushing noise. "You won't lose me, Coryth. Not completely. I may come and go as business dictates, or as I feel its warranted due to commitments... but I'll never entirely be gone from you." Sarge was, like any man, relatively prone to bouts of silence with those he cared about. As his grandfather so eloquently put it 'I love you, I know where you are'. That's how he felt.
So while it often seemed he forgot people, he never truly did. Lips pressing to her forehead, he pulled a hand away to brush at some of the forming tears. "There's only one woman in this galaxy who could keep me from you, and the odds of that happening are so catastrophically low that you've no need to worry about it."
He truly, genuinely hoped that to be true. There was a small part of him that wanted said woman to be his, but the realistic part said otherwise. "But if you keep letting this fear of being open control you then you're never going to be happy. You're never going to feel whole. The more you push people away, the more you isolate yourself and the more pain you cause yourself. Pain is the price of happiness, just as it's the price of loneliness."
A faint scoff could be heard as he shook his head and looked down. "So if there's going to be pain no matter what... why not make some happy memories to balance it out?", he asks quietly, placing the barest of kisses on her lips.
Posted 14 October 2013 - 02:07 AM
@Sarge Potteiger
Coryth sighed heavily, everything felt right but at the same time so damn wrong. She nodded quietly to him, letting him speak his piece once more. She hated the darkness that thrived within, that tried to well up and consume her so often. It hurt, more than she wanted to think of, speak of, the fight with the darkness was not a fight she was winning and that was something she didn't want to tell a soul. Not even Sarge.
She'd always been on the edge, right on the edge of that razor sharp blade, and one day it was bound to cut her. So much worry and concern for others held in her body in that moment. Could he? Would he forgive her if she destroyed everything? Somehow she doubted it. The only man who seemed capable to give her such a second chance was dead. The Force was the only one who knew what the future held. Not her. It only gave her small glimpses from time to time.
Another sigh came again as he pulled her closer. "Everyone ..." She sniffled hard as the tears really started to fall. "Everyone has said they wouldn't leave me, that I wouldn't ever lose them. But they are still gone, and I'm still here." She didn't want to trust again, to expose herself so deeply. It hurt, even just to think about opening up to another at all. But he was here, wiping away her tears while she tried her hardest to keep him at arms length. Just seemed that wasn't working anymore. She wasn't going to be able to keep him from getting inside, "Thing is Sarge, if I let you in ... If I let you in... While I may be strong like steel, if you wanted to you could break me. So easily and it terrifies me."
Her eyes fell slowly closed, and a small shake of her head. His lips met her for a brief moment, and for a while she lost her words. The ability to speak, gone. Taken from her just as he'd taken her breath away in that singular moment. "You are the one person that I've let this close, in so long. I'm vulnerable like this. Easy prey, the slightest cut and you could bring me to my knees. That is what I fear."
Leaning down, she laid her head into her hands and let a few of her tears fall so freely. "And even still it's worse because I don't feel ready. Its like I've just closed one chapter in my life and I'm being thrown in the end of another chapter while missing all the important parts in between. The guilt is eating at me for the way I feel and I hate it. I don't want to be guilty for this, not for how I feel about another. I shouldn't be. I shouldn't but it does not change the fact that I am." Her eyes stayed on the floor, not wanting to look up anymore, not wanting to see anything else.
Posted 14 October 2013 - 02:18 AM
Sarge gave her a long glance, fingers gently running along her upper arm as he gave her a considering look. He knew how this went. An old friend of his whom he'd considered a younger sister had gone through this once before. "Coryth, you loved once - but the galaxy took your ace in the hole and forced you to fold. You had everything and it was taken away.", he says, knowing full well it was going to hurt her. "But that's the thing about gambling. Sometimes you win, and sometimes you lose."
A faint sigh escaped his lips as he stood and paced towards the wall, running his finger along a framed picture of the Coruscanti skyline as seen from the Jedi Temple. Casting a glance behind him towards her, he shakes his head. "But that's all love is... a gamble. Do you put yourself all in or fold and step away from the table? Do you risk it all for the greatest payout of your life or do you shy away for fear of getting into the negative even further than you already are."
"It's a fine line we all walk, Coryth. Strength isn't about how much you can bear; it never was and never will be. What it is is your ability to get back up when everything has been piled atop you. Did you fall and cry and tell yourself it wasn't worth it? The only way you're weak is if you don't get back up."
Turning towards her, he leans back against the wall, arms folding over his chest as he crosses on leg over the other at the ankle. Tapping his heart, he gives her a sad smile. "It all has to come from within, and fear is the killer. The longer you live in fear the more miserable you'll become, and the more miserable you become the greater the fear gets. Can you break the cycle, Coryth? Can you put aside your guilt and live your life? The sincerest form of love is often letting go when you know it's time... can you manage that? Is it in you?"
His brow furrowed as he gave her a hard look. "I'm not telling you that you have to drop all your memories right now, become happy and throw yourself at me. What I'm telling you is to grow up." Yeah, he said it. "You're so caught up in the past that you've forgotten the future and thrown away the present... what good does that do you?"
Posted 14 October 2013 - 02:55 AM
He was right about one thing, that stung to hear him stay. She still kept her head down and let him keep speaking. Inside she could feel a fire growing, almost anger but not yet burning as bright. She sat still, unmoving and unspeaking as he went on, perhaps a dangerous sign from the usually vibrant redhead. A heavy, burdened sigh came, almost sounding like a hiss from her, a strange sound, not one wanted to hear.
The tears stopped, stopped falling. Such things no longer came into the picture. A darkness washed in, taking over. Turning, she looked to him with the iciest of glares. She was getting angrier by the moment. The more he spoke, the deeper it seemed to cut. "You've no idea. No idea at all." Her gaze, cold, calculating, very unlike her, even her tone drastically different. This wasn't the Coryth he knew. Not at all. The Coryth that always simmered just below the surface, the one she never let another soul see. Only a few had ever had, most of those lay dead. In fact, all of those who had were now gone, merged with the force.
A chill grew in the air around her, tangible. The Coryth that loved, the one that was so kind and sweet, loving found herself in the fight of her life in Sarge's living room. Fighting a battle she feared she'd never win. The dark surrounded her in every single way. Sarge was not her concern anymore. Not with the beast uncaged. Anger in Coryth was never a good thing, by far. A lift of a finger, glass shattered on a whim and she seemed cock her head to the side to study for it for a moment, where the windows had been, before she looked back to him. It was like she was stretching her legs, testing the waters. The struggle really had little to do with what they had been speaking of. He'd just unintentionally set off the avalanche within, never knowing.
Every fiber of her being did not want to hurt him, not in that moment, not like this. But the darkness craved that power, the feeling of life leaving the body. He, the only target nearby. Her hands shook for a moment as she tried to bring herself around trying so hard to come back from the edge of the abyss, but could she? She'd already taken that leap. Now she understood just how fine a line she walked, burdened on the edge. Forever caught between two places. The force gathered in her palm, lifting the coffee table and hurling at Sarge. "You don't understand!" She snarled. "How could you possibly know what it is I go through! How?!" She demanded, teeter on the edge.
Seeing what she'd done, Coryth shook her head, trying to push the darkness away, struggling hard against the evil forces that surged around her, trying to pull her under. Already she was drowning in it and it was showing no signs of letting up. After all, it almost had her here and now. This isn't me... I am better than this. I can fight this! Do you really think you can? You hold no power here. For the first time, in a long time Coryth wasn't about to just give in. Not now. No, everything was on the line and she wasn't going to lose it all. Not now, not ever.
"The more you think yourself alone...", he responds, calm like the eye of a storm, "the more alone you make yourself." To say he'd not reacted to the glass shattering was an understatement. He'd barely batted an eye beyond the habitual blinking he had to do to keep his eyes from drying out. Something about being threatened with being thrown out of a skyscraper tended to deaden you to threats.
Overt or otherwise.
The table however was a far more pressing matter. He couldn't duck it, and he couldn't simply take it... so that meant he had to go through it. As the table closed on him, the sound of flesh tearing became audible before two elongated, whip-like claws speared through the center of the table and rend it in two.
Thus split, it impacted the wall, leaving Sarge to glower at the redhead with disdain evidenced by the faint upward snarl of his lip. "If you ever throw something at me again, I will rend both your arms from their sockets." The anger emanating off of him was more than a little palpable, but the calm certainty to his face spoke far more to the danger of his words than her overt displays ever could.
This was a man utterly in control of every last drop of the rage that bubbled with him, able to take it and turn it into a potent weapon through conscious thought rather than subconscious impulses.
Chest heaving with anger, he let his hand hang limp at the side, revealing exactly where the Yuuzhan Vong fighting claws had come from; his right hand. Several feet long and capable of rending even the hardest of metals, the parasites had been feared readily by the galaxy at large during the Vong invasion.
How Sarge had come into their possession was up for debate, but the steel in his eyes said he wasn't in the mood to talk about it right now.
Posted 14 October 2013 - 03:47 AM
Every muscle in her tiny body was tensed, ready to spring. Eyes flicked over the scene in the living room. Watching coldly as the table shattered before her. She seemed, a little if impressed with the anger she felt wafting off of him. "Would you like to test that theory?" She asked with an almost challenging tone. That darkness seeking the challenge that it would bring. Though it was unlikely to end well for either of them.
A hand dropped to the saber, the one she used for good, to protect, that engraving etched upon it. Fingers slowly traced over her oath, What the hell am I doing? I can't. No! Slowly she was clawing her way back, but was it too late? Had she set off a chain reaction that could not be stopped. She did wonder as she looked to Sarge, her eyes softer. They told it all. "No!" She cried. The first audible sign that she was still in there. Her body shuddered, struggling hard for control. Both the darkness entangled with the light, fighting, trying to tear one another apart.
So much of her fighting, clawing back to where she should be. She left the saber at her side, untouched save for her fingers gracing it lightly. The pain hit her hard, his anger finally getting to the empathy beneath the darkness. For that it had shielded her in those early moments. Both hands flew to her head trying to tame it. The pain pulling her back, closer now. Closer to where she should be. She was panting heavily, frightened. Nothing seemed to matter in those moments. She'd thought to kill the person she actually loved. Something she could see clearly now. The saber had always been the last guard, the last thing to stand between her and darkness. It often takes more courage to know when to not take a life than it did to truly take one. It seemed once more the safeguards she had placed on herself may just keep her in check this time.
Thinking through the events briefly, the darkness started to wash over her. She no longer clung to it like a life raft, just letting it flow through her and move on. Her entire body was shaking, trembling as her knees collapsed beneath her. To tame herself had taken everything she had. Everything. Her head bowed, she sat panting in the torn up living space. "I'm sorry." She whispered. It was all she could say and it wasn't enough. Every part of her wanted to get up and walk out the door, never to return. Her body just wasn't letting her move quite yet. The force drain in those few moments on her was extreme. Even her physical state had been effected, weakened.
Posted 14 October 2013 - 04:01 AM
The man flexed his right hand, the appendages squirming as he did so before they slowly slipped back into his hand, eliciting a torrent of pain coming from his mind. That was his price for using them - excruciating pain. Every time they were unleashed they tore open his skin, and then had to slide back through it to return to their resting position.
That meant passing nerves both in and out, and his anger was replaced with pain for a minute or two as he looked to the broken table and shook his head. "It's... it's fine.", he says absently, suddenly ashamed of what he'd just done. The man was in a state of emotional flux, leaving him in a wounded position that spoke to a vulnerability not oft displayed.
This was evidenced by the faint way he seemed to contract into himself, as though trying to avoid her attention. With that, he simply walked through across the broken glass and out onto the balcony where the midday sun had descended towards the horizon, the sky turning a blood red as the planet shifted, turning towards the night.
Leaning on the railing, he simply hung his head and shook out his hand, teeth chewing on his bottom lip.
Posted 14 October 2013 - 04:42 AM
@Sarge Potteiger
She cried out feeling the pain he was much as her own. It was intense, the worst she'd felt like that in a long time. It didn't help she was so raw, so weakened with no guards up at all. She simply had no energy left to defend herself. None. Even as much as she wanted to go to him, to take the pain away, she couldn't move. As much as he might be ashamed, she even more so. To lose control like that was unacceptable and there in the floor, she was kicking herself for doing it. For now she let him go, there was no choice. She simply watched through the saddest eyes.
You can never do that again. You won't win so easily next time. The darkness will destroy you. She nodded to herself, knowing it was truth. Part of her knew the time was coming, that great showdown would happen and in the end she would not stand the victor. But that day wasn't today. Shakily, slowly she rose to her feet. Reaching up she clung to the edge of the couch, moving careful through the mess she'd left behind. The aftermath always got to her more than her actions ever did. The actions she could not see, but the devastation left in her wake she could. That was what she could touch after the storm had passed over. And this ... this was likely to stay in her mind for sometime.
Sad part of this, I do love him. Maybe more than he'll ever know and it might be one of the reasons this did not go farther than it did. What was it that stopped you after all? For it's only been love in the past. It is that again? She sighed at the thought. Much as she wanted to follow out to the balcony, her body still wasn't going to let her for a while. And perhaps that was for the best. With great care she swept aside some remaining splintered wood, and glass that had fallen across the couch and curled up there. Her knees drawn into her chest, her head hidden from view. She didn't wish to be seen, wished only to fade from sight and mind, for this ... to be forgotten.
Posted 14 October 2013 - 04:49 AM
@Coryth Elaris
Giving a few slow breaths as he looked out across the lake, he ran a bloody hand through his hair and sighed. This was a mess, but at least he'd gotten through to her. You only got that angry when you knew that the truth was being told to you - a truth you didn't want to face. He knew because he'd been there more than once.
He'd wanted to murder the person who was saying it, but the only thing staying his hand was the knowledge that they were right. Scoffing as he realized he was dirtying his uniform, he gave a huff and walked back inside, pausing as he saw her curled onto the couch, withdrawn physically and mentally from the world.
Exhaling through his nose as he lets his gaze linger on hers, he undoes his blouse and rests it across her like a blanket before the crunching of glass heralds his exit from the room. It wasn't more than a few minutes more before the sound of running water heralded the fact he was cleaning himself up... and the crunch of robotic feet on the ground spoke to droids coming in to clean up the mess.
She was far from forgotten, but he figured she could stand to be alone right now while he fixed his hand and got the blood off his arm.
Dress shoes clicking on the stone roadway leading to Lake County, Sarge paused momentarily as a gap in the trees afforded him a view of the crystal clear water. A smile forming on his lips, he pulls his cover off and tucks it under his arm as he takes a few minutes to just stop and stare out across the lake.
Leaning forward, he could just catch a glimpse of his home around the bend and he found the smile growing a little bit. It was a large home, far larger than he could ever need. It felt empty, and made him feel far more alone than he otherwise would. But it was a beautiful place.
The wedding had been as good as he'd thought a wedding would be - The Exarch's and Colonel's was the first he'd ever been to - but he wasn't staying. A severe introvert, any gatherings exhausted him within minutes of people starting to converse.
It was why he typically left parties long before they were ever done; he was just too tired from it. Heels clicking on the steps leading to the front gate, he paused to dig around for his ID which would open the large security gateway. "Son of a...." There it was. And then he dropped it.
"Kark me."
Posted 27 September 2013 - 09:23 PM
Coryth had her own reasons to be in lake country. Nothing to do with the wedding at all. One she was drawn there for reasons she wasn't aware. Too, there was the cabin out this way that she needed to visit, to clean out. It was left to her in the will. Just something she wasn't aware of until recently.
Slowly she found herself walking down a cobbled stone road, not wanting to deal with the cabin by the lake. Not wanting to mess with such stuff. Maybe she'd just sell it without ever returning. It seemed like a good idea. Maybe it was for the best to close that chapter of her life and move on. She needed to move on, not dwell on the past.
It was then ahead of her she saw a familiar figure. Her head cocked inquisitively to the side. A touch of the force out to him, and she knew exactly who that was. Sarge ... What was he doing here? Coryth quickened her pace and soon caught up with him, about the moment he dropped the ID. The tiny woman knelt before him, gingerly picked it up and handed it back to him. "Bad day?" She asked, not even asking why he was here too. She suspected the wedding that everyone else had gone to.
Posted 27 September 2013 - 09:44 PM
"No, no.", he says. "Just hate dropping things." It was something of a pet peeve, really. Pausing as he recognized her voice, he looked up and smiled. "Oh, hello Cory.", he says with a bit of enthusiasm. "Was at a wedding.", he admits a bit sheepishly, taking his ID and opening the gate that sat between the two large hedgerows.
Beyond the gate lay another stone pathway and he paused as he stood, gate held open by one hand. "What are you out here for?"
Posted 28 September 2013 - 12:16 AM
Coryth gave a nod to him, understanding, who couldn't? "Hey Sarge." She said with a soft smile, least one of her closest friends was out here.. Waiting for him to open the gate, she nodded once more. "Hate weddings." Her voice noticeably softer. Losing her fiance so close to her own wedding had made it a sore spot for her. Not a place she wished to be in a million years. Doubting she'd ever walk down that aisle, not with the past. Not with her love still tied up elsewhere.
"Eh ..." She sighed, "Business. Seems some property was left to me a while back. Didn't know it till the lawyer pinned me down a week ago. Handed the deed over to me." She gave a tiny smile, really just the upward turn on the very outer edge of her lips. "Not too far from here. A cabin on the edge of the lake and the woods."
Posted 28 September 2013 - 12:30 AM
Motioning for her to go through the gate, Sarge allowed her to pass through first before following after her, the metal partition swinging close behind them. "I've never been to one, myself." He admits quietly, before nodding. He knew what she was talking about, and how hard it must have been for her to be here.
"Might be able to see it from my place.", he says as they round a faint bend in the path and found themselves in the finely groomed backyard of Sarge's lake home. In front of them was a small building, but beyond that and set lower into the downward sloping hill was the rest of the home.
The expanse of blue water was arrayed in front of them, sunlight catching the gently undulating surface of the vast expanse of water. "I admit I don't spend much time here."
Yes, this was most certainly out of his paygrade. Far beyond it, in fact.
Posted 28 September 2013 - 12:42 AM
As soon as the gate closed behind them she fell in line beside him. "Not much fun, unless you're the one getting married, honestly. Been a bridesmaid a few times, never the bride." The last words seemed saddened, but she didn't feel like explaining. He might have been able to guess why it bothered her.
She gave a nod, "Been a long time since I've been back here. Too long." Her voice still as soft as ever. "Really missed the lakes, the streams and rivers. Miss the waters round here." Water, always a source of calm, and solace for the little redhead. "Used to be my favorite place to come on those rare breaks I got every few years. Though then it was just a rental. It came up for market a few years after I started going."
Her eyes swept quickly across the property, a brow lofted as she tried to figure out how he managed to afford a place like this. The condo on Coronet was ... just as fine. Smaller, compact, but just as fine. It was something that made her wonder. "I'd spent every second here I could back then. Never really knew how much I missed it, until I stopped coming."
Walking forward, across the lake she looked, knowing the little peninsula it stood on well. It was still etched into her mind, burned into it. It was not something she could ever forget. "That cabin was the one place I didn't have nightmares and visions every night." Finally after a while, she spotted the little cabin. Small, humble, with a large balcony area, even viewable from here. Lifting a hand she pointed down far across the waters. "The little river down there, to it's right. The peninsula, the cabin's on the very end. You can see the glass sparkling from the windows on the balcony. If fact the bedroom on the upper level is all windows on the side facing the lake."
Posted 28 September 2013 - 12:53 AM
Yeah, he knew why; or at least he could figure it out. Some things weren't truly meant to be touched by anyone until the person it affected brought it up first. "Yeah, I had a place like that when I was little. Or rather, my grandparents did. I never wanted to go as a kid, but as I got older I realized I could appreciate it for what it was."
He smiled, resting his arms on the rail of the balcony as he looked towards where she was pointing. "Ah, whataya know you can see it from here." Chuckling in amusement, he shook his head and opened the balcony doors to go inside, where he set his cover on the piano he had set there.
"Something to drink, Coryth? It's a bit hot out today; not sure how long you've been out and about."
Posted 28 September 2013 - 01:15 AM
"Makes ya wish you had more places like that, doesn't it?" A few memories danced through her head as she looked down to the cabin. "Good places, good memories. Can never really complain about that. It may not seem like much, certainly not like this place, but for me there's plenty of room. But this coming from the woman who has lived in closet sized spaced for much of her life. Anything is huge compared to that." A soft chuckle followed, happier, in a better place now and away from the hard memories and sadness.
"Funny to think you'd only need a boat to visit me over there. Practically neighbors." She teased. "Though, I'm not sure I'll actually hang on to the place. All depends what shape its in now. Cause I don't have time to maintain anything beyond the Prophetess and she is enough work as it is."
Turning she gave a nod to him. "Sure, been wandering for hours, visiting old places I used to see all the time. Could use a good drink." She was right behind him, curiously glancing to the piano as she came in the balcony door behind him.
Posted 28 September 2013 - 01:49 AM
"Well, I imagine it should be in semi-decent shape. Probably could just use a good dusting or two.", he jokes, walking out of the room and through another and then into the kitchen. He's quiet while he's in there, but he comes out a moment or two later with water. "I'd give you liquor, but it'd just dehydrate you."
Dehydration wasn't a pleasant thing, especially considering how small she was. "But I'm all for us being neighbors. We can wave stupid hand-written signs at each other. Although they'd have to be stupidly large for that to work." The man looked decidedly out of place and uncomfortable in a home so large, his eyes roaming the high ceilings and spacious rooms.
"Take a seat wherever, Coryth. Make yourself at home." He himself took a seat at the piano bench, if only because it seemed to be the closest. "I take it you were on your way over when you saw me?"
Posted 28 September 2013 - 01:30 PM
"One could hope." She said with a smile, "Though as long as there aren't rodents inside I'll probably be good." Oddly enough the little Jedi feared rodents. She had a good reason to, but that was a story for another day. "Water's fine. Don't really want alcohol, today." Her voice a little softer."Rarely drink anymore if I'm honest." Reaching out she gingerly took the glass from him, taking a sip.
"Well, there is always the option of macro-binoculars! Don't need large signs then." A smirk danced on her lips. "Though in that case I'll have to remember not to walk through the bedroom stark naked. Can't have you getting a nice view for free." Clearly teasing him once more. "Now can we?"
She gave a bit of a nod, found the couch nearest to the piano and Sarge and flopped down tiredly. "Yeah, I was. Saw you, thought I'd say hello, hang out for a little while." To avoid having to go see it. Cory finished within her head. "You know, the norm for me."
Posted 28 September 2013 - 02:07 PM
"The norm of avoiding things, you mean?" Say what you wanted about Sarge, but the man knew people and how to read them. Words left unsaid were a specialty of his, and that was because the kids he'd grown up around were always ones to say one thing but mean entirely another.
Or at least, that's what he chalked it up to. Or it could just be that he'd been alive far longer than most working for a man with only one expression - moderately annoyed.
Chuckling a bit, he raised his brows at hers. "Hey, you wanna give me a free show... I guess I could always return the favor. Play the piano naked or something."
Yup. He just went there.
Posted 28 September 2013 - 05:49 PM
Coryth frowned, a sigh to follow. "Yeah, that would be it." The happiness of moments before fading nearly completely away. "I think you know me too well sometimes. Can't hide a thing from you. That or I just suck at lies and lies of omission." Which that part entirely true, the tiny redhead could not lie to save her life. Something that was bound to get her in trouble one of these days.
"Just don't want to go back. I need to. Just that was, our cabin. He purchased it for us. So there is a lot there to manage. The memories are some of the best times I've ever had. It's just, I'm not sure I'm ready. I keep trying to talk myself into it. It's why I've spent the last five hours wandering around this side of the lake, trying to talk me into it. That cabin means the worlds to me, so much of his and my life in our times together were spent there." She knew the cabin would be hard, just nearly as hard as the grave site which was still a raw wound that tore at her. Though, she let very little of it show, not wanting people to truly know how broken down she was, or to know how often she cried herself to sleep alone.
Thankfully Sarge went right back into his humor, a true laugh drawn from her. "Well, if you want to play that game? I mean ... I guess my show wouldn't quite be given away without getting something in return." She said with a wink following. Then it dawned on her. "Never saw you as much of a piano man. Seemed more like a Sax kind of guy." It was odd to think of him as a piano player.
Posted 28 September 2013 - 06:10 PM
"Then keep it and buy a protocol droid or two to maintain it in your absence - you'll make more than enough money as an officer in OmegaPyre to pay for a few droids." That was true. She started out with a base salary very similar to his, and he'd had to work his way up to this pay grade.
Although he supplemented his pay through other means. "The longer you put it off, the worse it'll be due to nerves building up.", he says quietly. Giving her what he hoped was a comforting smile, he set the glass on the floor and nodded with a laugh. "I always make sure to give the women in my life something in return to make it worth their while...", he says with a mischievous grin.
Winking to him was just awkward, so he never did it. Grins were his thing.
"No, I'm pretty musically retarded.", he says with a shrug. "Especially for things like sax's or trumpets. I do have an ear for guitars and pianos, though." That was true, he could discern them fairly easy. "Was on Zeltros one day and ran into Anara Valnor who taught me piano and gave me a little vocal coaching."
Anara Valnor, famed Jedi Master rock guru and master of many a varied musical devices. It seemed Sarge knew just about everyone in some way, shape or form. He hadn't told her yet about his association with the former Sith Empress. Cira was the only one privy to that.
Posted 02 October 2013 - 03:02 AM
That was a thought that hadn't occurred to the little Jedi. Droids were generally the last thing she thought of. "Not really considered that. I tend to forget about droids as an option for such. But I guess that would be a solution. It pains me to let go of the place." She wasn't ready, to say the least. "This .... having money thing, I'm not used to. I tend to forgot that I get paid for my duties these days. Not just with a kind word, with actually cashey goodness. You know I've only spent about three hundred of what I've gotten so far. Can't seem to find things I desire. I'm just ..."A sigh came, closing her eyes for a moment as she took a sip from her glass before setting it on and end table. "far too used to being a Jedi. Far too used to going without."
Nodding slowly, she knew he was right. "I know, Sarge. It's something I've got to do. The wounds are still so raw. My emotions still tattered at the edges, I'm not sure I'm ready to tackle that emotional mountain that I know waits for me behind those cabin doors. We both still have clothes there, photographs, and the like. So many memories in that place. One of the few places of peace I ever knew."
A soft chuckle came, a bit surprised at him. The more she got to know him, the more layers peeled away, the more intriguing she found him."Always wanted to learn to play something." A random thought. "Never really imagined you playing anything. It's a strange thing to wrap my head around. Music .. is a unique expression of one's soul." She gave a small nod as he went on. "Singing too? That's about the only thing I'd have any particular gift for. Still once again I find you surprise me at every turn. I always seem to learn something about you I never knew before. But it's a new layer to you, a new depth and I'm glad you're willing to share such with me." It had been ages since she'd been close enough to anyone, letting them in and in turn they let her in on some level. It was something that warmed her heart and soul, happy to know she was capable of such a friendship again. There had been times she wondered if anything like that would ever fall into her lap.
Posted 02 October 2013 - 04:25 AM
@Coryth Elaris
"You'll be ready when you're ready Coryth.", he says finally, a mantra he'd repeated far too often over the past few weeks. Giving her a smile, he shook his head. "I'm not very good, but I can hold a tune and not make an ass of myself, and that's about all I want to do." That was honest.
His voice was horrendous if he wasn't singing anything but backwoods country music. "There's a lot more to me than people realize, I'm afraid." Sadly, most just saw him as a thug and left it at that. But he was a sentient with his own varied problems and interests, just like anyone else.
But he really only had himself to blame usually - he kept people at arms length. Posted 02 October 2013 - 02:57 PM
"I know. Just hate that it takes this long. I want it to be over with and the pain to ease away. But like all wounds it takes time. Will mend eventually, slowly, but there will always be the scars." Even with all this, the same sadness just wasn't there. It was becoming easier to speak of and not break down, but most of it she just kept well hidden. A smile still held on her lips. "Imagine you're better than you give yourself credit for." Most people were.
"Personally I just sing as an expression, a way to let go of how I feel in a more natural and less dangerous manner for others." Her empathy just as much a curse as it was a gift. She more than anyone had to keep herself under control at all times to prevent others from suffering her misery on top of whatever else they might have been feeling.
She gave a bit of a reassuring smile as he spoke. "I know, my dear friend. But I want to know much more to you than I know now. The real you. Others might not be interested or give a crap, but you know I do. So kark em, don't even fret on it. You're so much more than that. If people don't want to give you that consideration, they are not worth your time."
@Sarge Potteiger
Posted 02 October 2013 - 03:29 PM
@Coryth Elaris
Oh, he wanted to kiss her - he well and truly did. But instead, he shifted, throwing his legs to the other side of the bench as he relaxes his shoulders and runs his hands across the white keys of the grand piano set in front of him. Slowly, looking down, he aligned his shoes with the pedals and gave Coryth a faintly sheepish look. "You want to know the real me...?", he asks with a slow, sad smile.
Slowly, his fingers, long and slender, began to move across the keys, familiarizing themselves yet again with the keys and their sounds. No sheet music was going to be used, so he had to make sure he remembered the keys. After a minute or two, a definitive tune began to play out.
Smiling, he started from the beginning, this time the song coming out clear. With the faintest smile on his face, the man began to sing - his voice wasn't truly bad, but he'd never get beyond karaoke, and even that was questionable. But, he had two things right; he could stay on key, and he could put his heart and soul into it.
"Moonlight on canvas, midnight and wine...", he started out far from confident, although his fingers still danced across the keys with the ease of someone who did, in fact, know what they were doing. "Two shadows starting to softly combine." For a moment, his eyes turned sad, and haunted memories of the past came to the fore. "The picture they're painting is one of the heart... and to those who have seen it, it's a true work of art."
And with that, the keys were roughly forced down as his voice rose, the song reaching a crescendo almost immediately after starting. "Oh, the red stroke! Passions uncaged; thundering moments of tenderness rage. Woooooooaooooh, the red strokes tempered and strong burning the night like the dawn!"
And with that, it slowed down again, his voice dropping to a far more normal tone. He was vaguely aware there were technical terms for everything he was doing, but it was all beyond him. "Steam on the window, salt in a kiss, two hearts have never pounded like this. Inspired by a vision that they can't command, erasing the border... with each brush of a hand."
And again, he fell into the chorus, except this time, afterwards, he immediately sought to emulate the solo that Anara had played so perfectly. It was difficult, a piano wasn't an exact match, but he thought he got the job done. He didn't care anymore though, as this was now about unleashing everything he so often kept inside.
His passions: his anger, his lust, his love... everything. Coryth was getting a thunderstorm of emotion as he went through the song, good and bad. "And the blues will be blue, and then jealousy's green... but when love picks it's shade, it demands to be seeeeeEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNN." And once more, he delved into the chorus, fingers dancing and pounding their way up and down the keys once more.
And then, almost as quickly as he'd started, he brought it down to a close, hitting a few wayward keys as he threw in the last line; which was actually his favorite of the whole song; "Steam on the window, salt in a kiss, two hearts have never pounded like this." With that, he stopped, a few steadying breaths being taken as the emotional highs and lows balanced themselves out.
He was embarassed; he felt silly. But at the same time...? He didn't care, she'd gotten what she'd asked for. A song that showcased everything that was him.
Posted 08 October 2013 - 09:11 AM
@Sarge Potteiger
Coryth gave a small nod, "Of course I want to know the real you Sarge, not just the masks you and I both hide beneath." There was no doubt of that, the two of them had much they never let show, much they kept away from everyone else.
A bit of a soft smile came to her lips as she looked over watching as he started to play. Music, so beautiful to her ears. It may not have been perfect but it was beautiful to her. Amazing music, but what got her was the emotions she could feel burning behind his words. Line for line, there were powerful, stunningly strong emotions behind it, sadness, pain, loss, love, lust .... Never had she felt such powerful emotions from him before and this was amazing to feel. Most other storms of emotions would have hurt her, caused a headache, but she tempered it with care so she could truly feel each one and take it all in.
Truly by the end of the song she seemed stunned, unsure of what to say. It took her a few minutes before she could come around to find her words again. "I love this side of you." And I ... might just love you. She thought, not speaking the words aloud, something she might come to regret in the near future.
Rising to her feet, she walked over to him and drew him into a loving embrace, hugging him before she gave a soft, gentle kiss to his forehead. Then taking a seat beside him, she smiled happy to have seen this rare moment of Sarge. Shifting, she leaned over against him, just wanting to be a little closer to him. "It's a side I'd love to see more, know more of. Its beautiful, like a sunrise on a crisp autumn morning. The light mixing with the darkness, the beautiful colors. Its you, and that I could get used to seeing more of." It was that moment that it did hit her, she did love him. But part of her knew, knew those were words, she could not yet say. It was too soon, far too soon. She was still letting go of the one person she loved with everything she had. How is it possible that I might even dream to feel like that .. No. She told herself, trying to brush it away. She didn't want to feel like this. And chances were, he had someone, somewhere else and she doubted she was high on the list for such. No, those just words that would have to remain unspoken.
Posted 08 October 2013 - 04:24 PM
"Those weren't the words you were looking for.", the man says quietly, displaying his annoying ability to pick people apart like it was his job. Centuries of working with Ayden and his lack of expression had cultivated a need to know what someone truly meant and felt even if they weren't showing it. While he could puzzle out things like being lied to, he couldn't know what a person truly meant.
That was where guesswork came in, and he wasn't entirely sure there was much to guess beyond the obvious. Fingers pressing idly at the keys in a random melody, he furrows his brow as she comes over and embraces him, lips pressing to his forehead. A warm smile appearing on his face, he found himself even more attracted to her following the restrained display of affection.
"Coryth...", he begins slowly, as though almost afraid of what he was about to say. "You don't want to know the real, true me. The real me isn't masks. What you see in public? That's me. What you just saw? That's a deeper me. But within the depths of passion lies someone you truly do not want to meet."
Wetting his lips, he shakes his head. "Deep, below even my most sincere of romantic feelings is a darkness that can easily be unchained - it was these impulses that lead to me kicking a Sith Lord in the teeth with my boot. Those impulses made me shoot the Lady Protector when I was supposed to protect her. Though she may have jumped in the line of fire, I still pulled the trigger."
The man's emotion was still up for grabs, as he'd not deigned to put a reign on it since he'd finished the song. Raw pain emanated from him at failing his charge, but below it was a deep seated love that even Coryth could recognize - and it dueled with the obvious affection that he emitted whenever she came near.
Hands folding in his lap, he shakes his head. "I love you, you know. But I'm afraid of it, as I'm afraid of letting anyone get truly close to me. It means having to trust again, something I simply cannot truly do. And at the same time, I'm afraid of not telling my feelings to the others who are important to me in this life." Sighing, he wrings his hands together and lets his head hang for a moment.
"I don't know..."
Posted 09 October 2013 - 07:08 PM
Coryth's happiness, seemed to fade as her brows knitted together as he picked through her words sensing she meant something else. "No, they weren't." She admitted. No good at lying in the least little bit, so there was no point trying to hide it.
She seemed concerned as he started to speak, worried of what was coming what he'd say, worried about so much and such showed in every line on her face. She patiently let him say his piece before she said anything more.
A sigh came as she thought back to the worst days, the stuff of nightmares. "Sarge, there's something you need to know about me. I understand about the darkness and what lies deep in the depths of passion. I know far too well of those things. There is a reason I told you should I fall, to make sure I'm ended quickly. Because it would spare the galaxy much grief." The thoughts pained her even now, though many years had passed since she had committed the atrocities. "I know its someone I never want you to see, but just as much part of me as the hair on my head."
Another sigh followed, her gaze on the floor. This part of her she loathed, hated, and truly wished did not exist. "There came a time when I fell. Fell as far as someone like me can. I came to a border world, I was seeking my own fiance, because he was trying to stop me, to keep me from killing the Sith that had tortured me." Eyes closed now, not wanting to look up, not wanting to see. "I tore through the towns killing anything that moved. Literally crushing hearts on a whim, not because I had to, because I wanted to. Because I thrived on the feeling as they slipped away. A monster. Nothing but a cold blooded monster."
Everything about the way she held her body told of the deepest of regrets and more pain than even her own torture had brought her. "There are things I never want another to see about me. But at the same time, I hold the hope that I can tell the fullness of that story and not be turned away by one person in the galaxy. That I may find relief in. A tiny slim hope, but it still remains."
Those three little words, eight simply letters were the ones that always seemed to cut the deepest. Fear flooded her face when he said them, mixed with shock. "I ... I ..." She tried hard to find the words, getting visibly frustrated, pulling away she slammed her first on the bench beside them. "Why's this have to be so damn hard, so complicated? I'm afraid of those words. Eight freaking letters that terrify me!"
Soon she had turned away from him, leaned down her elbows on her knees as she buried her face in her hands, already feeling the familiar sting of tears welling up in her eyes. Not crying ... Not going to .. "It's not that I don't ... lo... l... looov .. love ... you." She struggled so hard just to make the words come out.
"I'm afraid to let myself love you. Afraid for very similar reasons. Every single damn person I love, I care for is gone. Dead, betrayed me or missing without a trace. Gone! I .." She turned back to him, tears starting to fall "I can't lose you like the others. I can't go back through so much pain. I don't want to be that open. So while I love you and I do. I don't know what I can do about it. I'm terrified."
She stopped brushing back stray hairs, "And the worst part, is that I feel like I'm betraying the memory of the last man I loved and wanted to spend my life with. It's complicated Sarge. And it's not that I don't want to love or care so deeply, I'm so frightened, and I feel so damn guilty when I shouldn't."
Posted 09 October 2013 - 07:20 PM
"Fear is the enemy Coryth." Fear had controlled his life for a long time, but just as with anything, you eventually crossed a threshold where it ceased to be a problem any more. "But you're a Force User. Of course you have Darkness. If you didn't, I'd be more concerned than if you did." The dichotomy of the Light Side and it's opposite was something ever User had to confront, and if they thought they didn't... well, they were simply wrong.
His arms found their way around her shoulders as he drew her against him and made a faint shushing noise. "You won't lose me, Coryth. Not completely. I may come and go as business dictates, or as I feel its warranted due to commitments... but I'll never entirely be gone from you." Sarge was, like any man, relatively prone to bouts of silence with those he cared about. As his grandfather so eloquently put it 'I love you, I know where you are'. That's how he felt.
So while it often seemed he forgot people, he never truly did. Lips pressing to her forehead, he pulled a hand away to brush at some of the forming tears. "There's only one woman in this galaxy who could keep me from you, and the odds of that happening are so catastrophically low that you've no need to worry about it."
He truly, genuinely hoped that to be true. There was a small part of him that wanted said woman to be his, but the realistic part said otherwise. "But if you keep letting this fear of being open control you then you're never going to be happy. You're never going to feel whole. The more you push people away, the more you isolate yourself and the more pain you cause yourself. Pain is the price of happiness, just as it's the price of loneliness."
A faint scoff could be heard as he shook his head and looked down. "So if there's going to be pain no matter what... why not make some happy memories to balance it out?", he asks quietly, placing the barest of kisses on her lips.
Posted 14 October 2013 - 02:07 AM
@Sarge Potteiger
Coryth sighed heavily, everything felt right but at the same time so damn wrong. She nodded quietly to him, letting him speak his piece once more. She hated the darkness that thrived within, that tried to well up and consume her so often. It hurt, more than she wanted to think of, speak of, the fight with the darkness was not a fight she was winning and that was something she didn't want to tell a soul. Not even Sarge.
She'd always been on the edge, right on the edge of that razor sharp blade, and one day it was bound to cut her. So much worry and concern for others held in her body in that moment. Could he? Would he forgive her if she destroyed everything? Somehow she doubted it. The only man who seemed capable to give her such a second chance was dead. The Force was the only one who knew what the future held. Not her. It only gave her small glimpses from time to time.
Another sigh came again as he pulled her closer. "Everyone ..." She sniffled hard as the tears really started to fall. "Everyone has said they wouldn't leave me, that I wouldn't ever lose them. But they are still gone, and I'm still here." She didn't want to trust again, to expose herself so deeply. It hurt, even just to think about opening up to another at all. But he was here, wiping away her tears while she tried her hardest to keep him at arms length. Just seemed that wasn't working anymore. She wasn't going to be able to keep him from getting inside, "Thing is Sarge, if I let you in ... If I let you in... While I may be strong like steel, if you wanted to you could break me. So easily and it terrifies me."
Her eyes fell slowly closed, and a small shake of her head. His lips met her for a brief moment, and for a while she lost her words. The ability to speak, gone. Taken from her just as he'd taken her breath away in that singular moment. "You are the one person that I've let this close, in so long. I'm vulnerable like this. Easy prey, the slightest cut and you could bring me to my knees. That is what I fear."
Leaning down, she laid her head into her hands and let a few of her tears fall so freely. "And even still it's worse because I don't feel ready. Its like I've just closed one chapter in my life and I'm being thrown in the end of another chapter while missing all the important parts in between. The guilt is eating at me for the way I feel and I hate it. I don't want to be guilty for this, not for how I feel about another. I shouldn't be. I shouldn't but it does not change the fact that I am." Her eyes stayed on the floor, not wanting to look up anymore, not wanting to see anything else.
Posted 14 October 2013 - 02:18 AM
Sarge gave her a long glance, fingers gently running along her upper arm as he gave her a considering look. He knew how this went. An old friend of his whom he'd considered a younger sister had gone through this once before. "Coryth, you loved once - but the galaxy took your ace in the hole and forced you to fold. You had everything and it was taken away.", he says, knowing full well it was going to hurt her. "But that's the thing about gambling. Sometimes you win, and sometimes you lose."
A faint sigh escaped his lips as he stood and paced towards the wall, running his finger along a framed picture of the Coruscanti skyline as seen from the Jedi Temple. Casting a glance behind him towards her, he shakes his head. "But that's all love is... a gamble. Do you put yourself all in or fold and step away from the table? Do you risk it all for the greatest payout of your life or do you shy away for fear of getting into the negative even further than you already are."
"It's a fine line we all walk, Coryth. Strength isn't about how much you can bear; it never was and never will be. What it is is your ability to get back up when everything has been piled atop you. Did you fall and cry and tell yourself it wasn't worth it? The only way you're weak is if you don't get back up."
Turning towards her, he leans back against the wall, arms folding over his chest as he crosses on leg over the other at the ankle. Tapping his heart, he gives her a sad smile. "It all has to come from within, and fear is the killer. The longer you live in fear the more miserable you'll become, and the more miserable you become the greater the fear gets. Can you break the cycle, Coryth? Can you put aside your guilt and live your life? The sincerest form of love is often letting go when you know it's time... can you manage that? Is it in you?"
His brow furrowed as he gave her a hard look. "I'm not telling you that you have to drop all your memories right now, become happy and throw yourself at me. What I'm telling you is to grow up." Yeah, he said it. "You're so caught up in the past that you've forgotten the future and thrown away the present... what good does that do you?"
Posted 14 October 2013 - 02:55 AM
He was right about one thing, that stung to hear him stay. She still kept her head down and let him keep speaking. Inside she could feel a fire growing, almost anger but not yet burning as bright. She sat still, unmoving and unspeaking as he went on, perhaps a dangerous sign from the usually vibrant redhead. A heavy, burdened sigh came, almost sounding like a hiss from her, a strange sound, not one wanted to hear.
The tears stopped, stopped falling. Such things no longer came into the picture. A darkness washed in, taking over. Turning, she looked to him with the iciest of glares. She was getting angrier by the moment. The more he spoke, the deeper it seemed to cut. "You've no idea. No idea at all." Her gaze, cold, calculating, very unlike her, even her tone drastically different. This wasn't the Coryth he knew. Not at all. The Coryth that always simmered just below the surface, the one she never let another soul see. Only a few had ever had, most of those lay dead. In fact, all of those who had were now gone, merged with the force.
A chill grew in the air around her, tangible. The Coryth that loved, the one that was so kind and sweet, loving found herself in the fight of her life in Sarge's living room. Fighting a battle she feared she'd never win. The dark surrounded her in every single way. Sarge was not her concern anymore. Not with the beast uncaged. Anger in Coryth was never a good thing, by far. A lift of a finger, glass shattered on a whim and she seemed cock her head to the side to study for it for a moment, where the windows had been, before she looked back to him. It was like she was stretching her legs, testing the waters. The struggle really had little to do with what they had been speaking of. He'd just unintentionally set off the avalanche within, never knowing.
Every fiber of her being did not want to hurt him, not in that moment, not like this. But the darkness craved that power, the feeling of life leaving the body. He, the only target nearby. Her hands shook for a moment as she tried to bring herself around trying so hard to come back from the edge of the abyss, but could she? She'd already taken that leap. Now she understood just how fine a line she walked, burdened on the edge. Forever caught between two places. The force gathered in her palm, lifting the coffee table and hurling at Sarge. "You don't understand!" She snarled. "How could you possibly know what it is I go through! How?!" She demanded, teeter on the edge.
Seeing what she'd done, Coryth shook her head, trying to push the darkness away, struggling hard against the evil forces that surged around her, trying to pull her under. Already she was drowning in it and it was showing no signs of letting up. After all, it almost had her here and now. This isn't me... I am better than this. I can fight this! Do you really think you can? You hold no power here. For the first time, in a long time Coryth wasn't about to just give in. Not now. No, everything was on the line and she wasn't going to lose it all. Not now, not ever.
"The more you think yourself alone...", he responds, calm like the eye of a storm, "the more alone you make yourself." To say he'd not reacted to the glass shattering was an understatement. He'd barely batted an eye beyond the habitual blinking he had to do to keep his eyes from drying out. Something about being threatened with being thrown out of a skyscraper tended to deaden you to threats.
Overt or otherwise.
The table however was a far more pressing matter. He couldn't duck it, and he couldn't simply take it... so that meant he had to go through it. As the table closed on him, the sound of flesh tearing became audible before two elongated, whip-like claws speared through the center of the table and rend it in two.
Thus split, it impacted the wall, leaving Sarge to glower at the redhead with disdain evidenced by the faint upward snarl of his lip. "If you ever throw something at me again, I will rend both your arms from their sockets." The anger emanating off of him was more than a little palpable, but the calm certainty to his face spoke far more to the danger of his words than her overt displays ever could.
This was a man utterly in control of every last drop of the rage that bubbled with him, able to take it and turn it into a potent weapon through conscious thought rather than subconscious impulses.
Chest heaving with anger, he let his hand hang limp at the side, revealing exactly where the Yuuzhan Vong fighting claws had come from; his right hand. Several feet long and capable of rending even the hardest of metals, the parasites had been feared readily by the galaxy at large during the Vong invasion.
How Sarge had come into their possession was up for debate, but the steel in his eyes said he wasn't in the mood to talk about it right now.
Posted 14 October 2013 - 03:47 AM
Every muscle in her tiny body was tensed, ready to spring. Eyes flicked over the scene in the living room. Watching coldly as the table shattered before her. She seemed, a little if impressed with the anger she felt wafting off of him. "Would you like to test that theory?" She asked with an almost challenging tone. That darkness seeking the challenge that it would bring. Though it was unlikely to end well for either of them.
A hand dropped to the saber, the one she used for good, to protect, that engraving etched upon it. Fingers slowly traced over her oath, What the hell am I doing? I can't. No! Slowly she was clawing her way back, but was it too late? Had she set off a chain reaction that could not be stopped. She did wonder as she looked to Sarge, her eyes softer. They told it all. "No!" She cried. The first audible sign that she was still in there. Her body shuddered, struggling hard for control. Both the darkness entangled with the light, fighting, trying to tear one another apart.
So much of her fighting, clawing back to where she should be. She left the saber at her side, untouched save for her fingers gracing it lightly. The pain hit her hard, his anger finally getting to the empathy beneath the darkness. For that it had shielded her in those early moments. Both hands flew to her head trying to tame it. The pain pulling her back, closer now. Closer to where she should be. She was panting heavily, frightened. Nothing seemed to matter in those moments. She'd thought to kill the person she actually loved. Something she could see clearly now. The saber had always been the last guard, the last thing to stand between her and darkness. It often takes more courage to know when to not take a life than it did to truly take one. It seemed once more the safeguards she had placed on herself may just keep her in check this time.
Thinking through the events briefly, the darkness started to wash over her. She no longer clung to it like a life raft, just letting it flow through her and move on. Her entire body was shaking, trembling as her knees collapsed beneath her. To tame herself had taken everything she had. Everything. Her head bowed, she sat panting in the torn up living space. "I'm sorry." She whispered. It was all she could say and it wasn't enough. Every part of her wanted to get up and walk out the door, never to return. Her body just wasn't letting her move quite yet. The force drain in those few moments on her was extreme. Even her physical state had been effected, weakened.
Posted 14 October 2013 - 04:01 AM
The man flexed his right hand, the appendages squirming as he did so before they slowly slipped back into his hand, eliciting a torrent of pain coming from his mind. That was his price for using them - excruciating pain. Every time they were unleashed they tore open his skin, and then had to slide back through it to return to their resting position.
That meant passing nerves both in and out, and his anger was replaced with pain for a minute or two as he looked to the broken table and shook his head. "It's... it's fine.", he says absently, suddenly ashamed of what he'd just done. The man was in a state of emotional flux, leaving him in a wounded position that spoke to a vulnerability not oft displayed.
This was evidenced by the faint way he seemed to contract into himself, as though trying to avoid her attention. With that, he simply walked through across the broken glass and out onto the balcony where the midday sun had descended towards the horizon, the sky turning a blood red as the planet shifted, turning towards the night.
Leaning on the railing, he simply hung his head and shook out his hand, teeth chewing on his bottom lip.
Posted 14 October 2013 - 04:42 AM
@Sarge Potteiger
She cried out feeling the pain he was much as her own. It was intense, the worst she'd felt like that in a long time. It didn't help she was so raw, so weakened with no guards up at all. She simply had no energy left to defend herself. None. Even as much as she wanted to go to him, to take the pain away, she couldn't move. As much as he might be ashamed, she even more so. To lose control like that was unacceptable and there in the floor, she was kicking herself for doing it. For now she let him go, there was no choice. She simply watched through the saddest eyes.
You can never do that again. You won't win so easily next time. The darkness will destroy you. She nodded to herself, knowing it was truth. Part of her knew the time was coming, that great showdown would happen and in the end she would not stand the victor. But that day wasn't today. Shakily, slowly she rose to her feet. Reaching up she clung to the edge of the couch, moving careful through the mess she'd left behind. The aftermath always got to her more than her actions ever did. The actions she could not see, but the devastation left in her wake she could. That was what she could touch after the storm had passed over. And this ... this was likely to stay in her mind for sometime.
Sad part of this, I do love him. Maybe more than he'll ever know and it might be one of the reasons this did not go farther than it did. What was it that stopped you after all? For it's only been love in the past. It is that again? She sighed at the thought. Much as she wanted to follow out to the balcony, her body still wasn't going to let her for a while. And perhaps that was for the best. With great care she swept aside some remaining splintered wood, and glass that had fallen across the couch and curled up there. Her knees drawn into her chest, her head hidden from view. She didn't wish to be seen, wished only to fade from sight and mind, for this ... to be forgotten.
Posted 14 October 2013 - 04:49 AM
@Coryth Elaris
Giving a few slow breaths as he looked out across the lake, he ran a bloody hand through his hair and sighed. This was a mess, but at least he'd gotten through to her. You only got that angry when you knew that the truth was being told to you - a truth you didn't want to face. He knew because he'd been there more than once.
He'd wanted to murder the person who was saying it, but the only thing staying his hand was the knowledge that they were right. Scoffing as he realized he was dirtying his uniform, he gave a huff and walked back inside, pausing as he saw her curled onto the couch, withdrawn physically and mentally from the world.
Exhaling through his nose as he lets his gaze linger on hers, he undoes his blouse and rests it across her like a blanket before the crunching of glass heralds his exit from the room. It wasn't more than a few minutes more before the sound of running water heralded the fact he was cleaning himself up... and the crunch of robotic feet on the ground spoke to droids coming in to clean up the mess.
She was far from forgotten, but he figured she could stand to be alone right now while he fixed his hand and got the blood off his arm.
