In the Dark

[Jairdain]

Her own tea had cooled and almost been forgotten by her during their exchange. Something that could easily be reheated or more made if Vaulkhar wanted more. When he said he did not fear her personally, but the thought of anybody prowling around in his memories she nodded. Only two people had actually done that to her. Krest and Lykos. Both had died and at her touch, Krest was brought back. Through her hand, she had helped turn him into what he was today. Same as with him...the touch he had given her those years ago had made her who she was today.

"What point is there in forgetting your past, Vaulkhar? It is what has made us who we are. Good or bad as it might be. There are moments I wish I could forget too, but to take them away...I wouldn't be that shining light you see in me."

The hand not ​within his raised just slightly to almost hover in the air between them. No power came from the motion and as soon as she realized she had done it, her hand lowered unless he stopped her. Maybe it was an invitation and she was unaware of it.

Setting the thought of dinner aside for the moment, it would be returned to when this conversation was finished. Some things did need to addressed and she felt this was something that was needed. The food would be there when it was done.

[member="Vaulkhar"]

 

[Vaulkhar]

Silence filled the air after her question was asked. Immediately he fell into contemplation at her question, though he couldn't come up with an answer right away. The obvious answer was there; to forget what hurts you, what keeps you up at night and fills what sleep you manage with nightmares that cannot be avoided. Though her following words brought questioning thoughts into Vaulkhar's mind. If this woman was able to take what had hurt her and became this beautiful entity he gazed upon, what could it do to him? His pain had made him a warrior unparalleled during his time within the Sith Academy, bested only by the Lords of the Empire. His pain molded him into an assassin capable of escaping the notice of even those who sought him out, aware of his presence. The pain Vaulkhar faced made him the deadly force he was now, his past the cause of it all. But was it worth it? Was he okay with such?

As Jairdain's hand rose into the air, his attention flicked to it. His other hand moved to gently press against her's before it could fall to her lap once more. Vaulkhar accepted the unintentional invitation before peering up at her with his empty, blind gaze. It was in these moments he could see past that blinding light to what hid behind it. Jairdain was just as beautiful behind the radiance itself. Her form solidified before her and while he couldn't make out the most minor of details, within his heart Vaulkhar knew what it was he saw.

"I do not believe there is a point, Jairdain. It's just easier to strive to forget than it is to remember."

[member="Jairdain"]

 

[Jairdain]

There was a purpose to her question and it accomplished its goal. It made him think on an answer. They both agreed on one thing she thought. To take those memories away totally would bring about a change within them that would be so drastic they would no longer be the same. The light touch on her hand was certainly not missed and she smiled at him.

"You can try to forget, but no matter how hard you try...it won't happen. Allow that past to rest there, use it to make you who you are and what you want to be. There was a time when I was going to be the next Dread Lord and work with your Empire. Be a pawn of war. I said no though. And I am glad I did."

​Though her voice was calm as Vaulkhar had yet to actually know Jairdain to really express any emotion, by the time she finished, her tone was set. It carried confidence and surety along with the hope he maybe emulate her in time.

"That fear of you might have of your past...can be what keeps you where you are."
​
[member="Vaulkhar"]

 

[Vaulkhar]

"You as a Sith Lord, hm? What an interesting concept," Vaulkhar chuckled softly and weakly pressed his hand against her's a bit more. There was no rhyme or reason, he just wanted to be closer to the woman. He listened intently to her words, considering them with a tilt of the head. Her confidence was duly noted and welcomed by the young man who had come to question himself with nearly every decision he made. It appeared infectious as he even straightened a bit. The half breed began to gently tap his feet as the seconds rolled by and he tried to piece together an answer for her words, but he could not come up with something to refute or deny her words. Which would normally be an upsetting idea, though considering the source of this revelation he couldn't help but grin. Vaulkhar's hand holding her's tightened and he met her gaze.

"I think you're right, Jairdain. Maybe this fear is what's keep me from moving on to the next part of my life... though I don't know whether I'm ready to move forward yet or not. The man I am now is the man I have to be to help Krest free the people of Commenor. If he's going to be soft and strive to protect all life," a pause ensued after he started speaking, his form trembled slightly before he steeled himself entirely and the shaking stopped. "I have to remain in the dark to ensure his work is done. When that's over, I can move on, Jairdain."

[member="Jairdain"]

 

[Jairdain]

That Dread Master is what Krest had wanted her to be. For a time it had worked, but then that light he had buried shone through and won out in the end. She had broken...again and returned to the arms of the Silver's. After her recovery the chance had been given to her to work with the Crown Prince of Commenor. So when Vaulkhar mentioned them, it plunged Jairdain into sorrow.

She had been present when the Sith had attacked, helped rescue some of the refugees and then ran. Scared for her own skin, she had ran to Voss and been reunited with Krest there. From there, she had wandered lost, but never returning to Commenor. The plight of those people was something she was not ready to face and instead hid here now on Iridonia.

"I can not imagine Krest as ever being soft. He does what needs to be done, same as you. I...I am unable to help."

​Not knowing just how much pain she was in right now because of how broken her emotional state was, she held onto his hand as if it was a lifeline. If that went away, she would become even more lost.

[member="Vaulkhar"]

 

[Vaulkhar]

Vaulkhar shrugged at her statement.

"Perhaps he is not soft, perhaps he is. It doesn't matter. He and I will take care of it I imagine, as we've always done," he gently squeezed her hand to show some semblance of support. His words held a conviction in them he hadn't felt in a very long time. The way she reacted to his mention of Commenor, he knew she had ties to the planet though he clearly underestimated such. With a nod of his head, more to himself really, Vaulkhar decided by any means necessary the planet would be free of Sith control and back into the hands of those who rightly ruled it. "You will return home soon, Jairdain. Do not fear," he could feel her need in that touch they shared as much as he could feel his own. It was reassuring to know someone else understood such strange moments as these. Where even the strongest could falter.

[member="Jairdain"]

 

[Jairdain]

Comfort and support, two totally foreign items to Vaulkhar yet he attempted to provide them for her. In a very clear way, but with a gentle touch. It was all he could offer now. Maybe it was all she needed, but Jairdain really did not know. Her life was shattered and until it could get put back together, she did not know how to act and react like normal.

She could pretend a great many things, but under it all was woman that needed help. But she could not admit this, not even to herself. Then he mentioned that Commenor was her home. It was true, but not totally. Shaking her head, she wanted to deny it.

"My original home was destroyed when I was a teen and I can no longer return. I am the last of my people, Vaulkhar and nothing will change that. Homes now are just places to live. There is no place for me to call home now."

Letting out a sigh, she did not often think of her life before the Jedi.

[member="Vaulkhar"]

 

[Vaulkhar]

"Someone once told me anywhere can be a home, it's just what you make of it. I've sorta believed in it because my home is a wasteland after what my father did to it. It's one of the few beliefs I have actually," through the rather bleak admission, Vaulkhar managed a genuine smile. Whether it was for Jairdain's sake or not wasn't entirely sure, but he at least found some comfort in his own words. "If it is not your home, we'll at least get your house back, alright?"

The half breed smiled wide before gently offering her hand another squeeze. He was bad at comfort. It was unfortunate.

"I'm sorry if I'm not very good at uh... helping out, with your own troubles, Jair. I'm unfortunately not well versed in it. My only interactions with women have been sort of what you'd expect of what a Sith. Lacking in substance," he unintentionally referred to the woman by the nickname. That was evident as he stumbled over such.

[member="Jairdain"]

 

[Jairdain]

If she had been in the right mentality, she wouldn't have said what she did. As examples, both Voss and Iridonia had homes here for her. She had gone to Voss to hide when Krest had found her there and then he had rebuilt this home here for her. So what she said was not totally true. His words brought that a little close and she did nod.

"No, you are right, Vaulk. I am not right all the time and while I give advice all I want...sometimes it is needed by me. Thank you."

His words, smile and hand squeeze did help, but healing she knew would take time. This wasn't something that could be solved overnight. Much like training in a way.

"Let's get dinner. I mean I guess you could stay sitting here, but I'll be in the kitchen to cook. You are more than welcome to join while I do that."

 

[Vaulkhar]

"Well, I am glad I can be of help with the advice then," Vaulkhar grinned while pushing himself to his feet. He didn't think much of himself in the advice department, considering most of his problems were solved with the swing of a blade. Though the one piece of advice he ever was given that he opted to keep close to heart was rather useful this day. He had to remember to thank his brother whenever he sees him again in the next life. The momentary lapse of attention from his surroundings back to his brother caused his mood to sour momentarily, though once again he pushed through his negative feelings and focused where he was once again. He looked about blindly before settling his attention on Jairdain.

"I'll probably need a bit of help exploring the kitchen. Not that I'm worried I won't be able to find it, it's more an issue of accidentally making a mess or something of the sort," he kept his hand within her own as he moved around the couch and awaited her lead. "I'll of course join you, I'm excited for a home cooked meal."

[member="Jairdain"]

 

[Jairdain]

The shared smile was wonderful and brightened the atmosphere around them. Even if it was only fleeting Jairdain felt good with how things were. Happy to be in Vaulkhar's company, she would guide him into the kitchen.

"I could have just spoken and have this fixed. Krest got me all sorts of gadgets to cook for me. However, there is no human touch to that, so I cook as much as I can. Don't tell him that though."

A small secret between them, but she did not feel bad in sharing it.
​
"As for making a mess, well if you do, there's these machines that can cook until I get my spices back in order."

After saying that, he would hear her gathering what she needed and start in on the food. If he touched anything, he would hopefully know to put it back where he found it. There were no markings on anything though and reading was something Jairdain had never learned. Not even something designed for a blind person.
​
[member="Vaulkhar"]

 

[Vaulkhar]

A small laugh escaped him at the idea of the messes just being cleaned up by the machines. He knew the technology was very much within reach, he just never bothered getting his hands on them. He never quite had a home long enough to need anything like that. Aside from the personal quarter's on his ship and a few apartments throughout the years, Vaulkhar never really settled down into anything long term. He didn't bother to touch anything or mess around with her kitchen, finding it easier to just remain standing with arms crossed behind her. A sight of content escaped him as he enjoyed the momentary peace within her presence, his blind gaze locked on her glowing form as she worked.

"I'll just be careful and not make a mess, Jairdain. It likely be better that way then having to bust out the machines," he raised a hand once more and studied it momentarily. His fleshy hand was not really in his view, but he could see and feel the dark side energy leaking from it. The energy was not as strong as it once was, especially within the presence of Jairdain. He looked back up at her that, his hand drifting forward lazily before he allowed it to drop back to his side. There was no need to get in her way as she prepared the meal.

"I would offer my assistance, but I can't cook."

[member="Jairdain"]

 

[Jairdain]

His inspection of her was felt, but not commented on. She suddenly had a feeling or thought, was what she felt when he looked at her what others did when she looked at them? It was not a good or bad feeling, just one of being read. On a level deeper than what a person could see with vision. They both saw what was under the masks and facades put on and down to the true person under all of those. And she liked it.

Listening to what he said as she went through the food and spices around her, she found what she wanted and started getting the food onto the stove. He might feel her smile though. Hearing her name from him, she did not turn physically to look in his direction since it was pointless, she her mental focus did slightly.

"You can call me Jair if you want, Vaulkhar. I've also been known as Jera before too."

He mentioned he couldn't cook and she actually found that a little surprising.

"Really? It is one life skill everybody should know. C'mere and I'll teach you at least how to make stew."

[member="Vaulkhar"]

 

[Vaulkhar]

"I do like Jair, though I wanted to make sure it wasn't inappropriate of me to do so, concerning our new friendship and such. I was unaware if nicknames would be an issue," Vaulkhar allowed his own smile to shine through at the brief exchange. He was definitely happy to be developing a friendship with someone. He hasn't had any of those. While he and Krest had worked together for years and continued to do so now, he had always seen their relationship as that of a master and student. It appeared as if the king was hoping to develop more of a bond with the half breed, but it had yet to be seen thus far. At her words he moved forward and stood beside her, blindly looking over the counter before him. "I'm not against learning how to cook, it's just never been overly necessary."

When Vaulkhar needed to eat, he'd purchase a meal. His pockets thankfully ran deep being a member of House Zambrano. A new skill added to the arsenal was never to be turned down, especially one that could potentially save his life one day. He blindly reached around the counter before shrugging.

"I'll need a bit of guidance."

[member="Jairdain"]

 

[Jairdain]

"What better way to show friendship than to give nicknames?"

She spoke with a smile in her voice and did turn her head slightly in his direction, even if it did no good. ​Still in the process of getting to know each other, they tested the waters of things. Jairdain was almost naturally a friendly and open person, maybe more than was good for her. He was unfamiliar with such something so simple as friendship and trust.

It was thought of by her that teaching went both ways when it came to being master and apprentice. There was so much this man did not know and she could teach him. Cooking being one and opening his mind in other manners were also possibilities.

"I've liven on my own since I was fifteen. There wasn't much choice in learning how to cook. If I did not learn, then I wouldn't have lived very long or be having this conversation with you."

Gently nudging his​ hand away from the hot stove if he got close to it, she took a hold of his hands to place them next to the bowl she was using.

"First off, make sure you know what spices you need and where you keep them in your kitchen. Mine are arranged for me. I can tell you the names of them and where I have them. Flavor to taste for me, so I hope you like it as well. Just need to dump this bowl into the pot waiting on the stove if you want to do that."

They stood close and as they moved, their proximity was enough they touched. She handed him the different spices, told him their names and made sure they went back where they belonged after that bowl had been put in the pot.

"Cook time on this is about half an hour or so. Would you care for something more to drink while we wait?"

Turning to face him, Jairdain finally noticed just how close they were. Neither one was holding anything now and for just a moment her breath caught. Wanting to maintain whatever touch she could have with him, her hand reached out on its own to take his one of flesh and her thumb ran down his palm very gently. This was done without clear thought on her part, but need spoke more than logic.

[member="Vaulkhar"]

 

[Vaulkhar]

"I've never really had... a friend, so I wouldn't know. There were a few folks on Coruscant I grew up beside and trained with in the Sith Academy, though eventually they turned on me," Vaulkhar paused at that, his hand continuing to lazily drift about, hovering a few inches over the counter. His movements obviously had no clear destination, his mind began to just wander. "It is the way of the Sith. When masters came looking for apprentices, you did everything you could to be taken on. Those who were not were given a blaster and thrust onto the battlefield with the opportunity to continue force training squandered. I suppose it is why when it was finally time for me to be taken on, I made no mistakes, I showed no mercy," he closed his eyes and took a deep breath, allowing his mind to calm and the memories to fade away. It was clear he wasn't the fondest of his past in the Sith Academy or on Coruscant. As per usual, her words were infectious and for the most part his mood brightened as she spoke and helped keep his mind away from that which he preferred not to ponder.

The moment he began to feel the heat of the stove Jairdain's hand was there to gently guide his away. It was a simple enough touch, though he enjoyed it. The way she looked after him in that moment was alien. At the mention of spices, he nodded his head and held a hand out. With each item handed to him, his hands worked there way over the entire surface of the spice to familiarize himself with the feeling of the container. Vaulkhar even took a moment to both smell and taste the individual flavors, committing them to memory with the various use of his senses. It was actually comedic, watching him mutter under his breath to help memorize what Jairdain handed him.

"Fifteen, huh? I've never had the need for it. Soldiers were given simple and easy to make meals on the battlefield. Campaigns lasted anywhere from a few months to years, so I didn't really have the time to get my hands dirty with anything other than battle," when the food was set aside to cook, he turned on his heel and looked to Jairdain with a nod and smile. "Uh, just a glass of water would be fine, I think. Can't go wrong with that."

With the closeness noticed by Jairdain it was also noticed by the half breed. At her touch his other hand moved forward to gently take hold of her elbow and tug her even closer, the space between them shrinking considerably until he was mere inches from her. Face to face.

[member="Jairdain"]

 

[Jairdain]

"Even enemies can give nicknames. I should know. Lykos called me Zi'rial and Krest continued that. It means sparrow in their language. Do you know any other languages? I know that of my people and Basic, obviously."

​Only two people really knew of what her life had been like growing up. Both of them she had just named. They had been in her mind, seen her memories. Being blind and a female, she had an almost sheltered childhood. Items had been given to her to make life easier, but not everything was smooth. The children had treated her differently and she had not had any friends either. Not until after her home had been destroyed and she was on her own.

"We grew up different lives and..."

Her voice trailed off, b​ut Vaulkhar might pick up on the sympathy she felt for him. Only a small portion of her life had been with the sith, but in that time, she had learned a great deal. That was something he might not have knowledge of.

"I have a great deal of sympathy for you and I am sorry, even if I had no hand in your life until now. If there was a way to go back and change things for each of us, I think I would."

As he pulled he​r closer, she stumbled over what she was going to say, but she did not feel anything outside of this moment. Living in the moment and now fully aware of this touch, she kept her hand on his and wrapped the arm he had taken around him. It was natural and felt right. The offer of the drink and his answer were lost, this is what mattered.

Her heart almost skipped a beat when it happened and her attention snapped to him. They stood toe to two, almost nose to nose and there was a need shared. A need to touch, have that contact, give light and life to each other and Jairdain went with it. Her hand ran along his back and pulled him closer. Tilting her head up so they could kiss for the first time, she did not want this moment to end.

It was both the same and different than what she had felt before. Not love, not lust but still a need that demanded to be filled.

[member="Vaulkhar"]

 

[Vaulkhar]

Surprisingly, Vaulkhar managed to keep his feelings in line at the mention of Lykos. From his time in the Academy to the years beyond which followed he hated the man with every part of his being. He was never quite sure why, but something about the Sith made his skin crawl and rage burn deep within him. However, surprise did momentarily show in his eyes at the use of 'called'. It clicked within his head in an instant the man was gone. Since his return to the Sith, Vaulkhar had not noticed his presence which was not normal, he made sure to keep tabs on Lykos for the eventual day he decided to challenge and kill the man. With his death, the one ambition the half breed had simply dissipated before him. Was he annoyed? Yes. Vaulkhar wanted to kill Lykos as much as a starving man wanted to enjoy a warm meal. Was he upset? No. Knowing the galaxy was rid of such an individual managed to quell his feelings.

Grew up different lives?

Most definitely. He was not sheltered or helped. His father ignored his presence entirely until he showed up at the Sith Academy to claim his birthright. From there his father showed him no mercy, but instead ensured his training was as grueling and cruel as it could be. Kaine Zambrano ensured his son would be a lethal killer from childhood. It left quite the impact on Vaulkhar, though he managed to bury those feelings rather well. At least he felt like he did.

"There is no need to feel sympathy for me, Jairdain. I'm not the happiest with how I've walked this galaxy, though it was the hand I was dealt. Though I appreciate your feelings nonetheless," at her tugging the hand gripping her elbow wrapped around her lower back and pulled her so there was no longer space between them. He met her kiss with a sort of primal passion, his lips pressing hungrily against her own. His earlier thoughts and feelings disappeared entirely from his mind as his focus was on the woman before him.

[member="Jairdain"]

 

[Jairdain]

When she mentioned Lykos, Jairdain felt and saw the flare of annoyance, but did not ask after it. It was not directed at her, but at something she mentioned or she assumed. Running through her mind what she had just said, she limited it to Lykos. Rivalry was common within the Sith and she assumed it was nothing more than that. That man was now dead and in addition to that, she had killed a piece of him. Murder done in essentially cold blood even if it had been at his request.

She still felt that sympathy though even if he said she didn't need to. What he said was true and she felt that within him. Did he want to change though? If she had to answer that question, she would say yes. And then their lips met.

Feeling what came off him and what came from her, filled her mind. Goosebumps covered her from head to two in a heartbeat and blood thrummed in her ears. Gone was anything they had been talking about and his hunger was met with her own. And with that she surrendered to what was needed. Two empty and lost people with a need to be filled and right now they could give that to each other. Now was what mattered, not the past or the future.

[member="Vaulkhar"]

 

[Vaulkhar]

Vaulkhar's thoughts melted away and he made no attempt at reaching for them. He cared not in the moment for his past feelings or current attachments. He only cared for what was right before him. The beautiful woman within his arms who he currently kissed. It was certainly a surprise to say the least. He came here to spend time with the woman, who he knew he felt attraction for, but he never expected something like this. However, it mattered not. What mattered was the moment, nothing beyond that and nothing before that.

As he pressed further into the kiss his hands slid down her to gently lift her up and sit her atop the counter before him. A smile tugged at the corner's of his lips as he pulled away and studied the woman momentarily, lost in the primal urges pulling viciously at him. He cared for Jairdain, more than he probably should. But that need they both shared came first in that moments.

His lips moved forward to press against her neck as the scene faded away. . .

[member="Jairdain"]