Private It's My Party and I'll Cry if I Want To [Complete]

[Queen of Devit]

"I can show you but I need my sketchbook and its back on Kashir. Actually all my stuff is there."

When he mentioned the light she grinned, a little mischeviously.

"Yea it started when I was a little girl and didn't like the dark. But then I just kind of kept the light on as I grew older because my brothers teased me. To be honest I don't even need it anymore. I just like it when they pay attention to me so I keep it on. It gives them something to talk about."

She shrugged and chewed some of her fish as he talked about singing. She couldn't picture him singing for fun. He seemed so serious and rule oriented and singing was more of a spiritual free flowing thing. "Any particular type of music? Or are you and Fate belting out the latest pop songs when you aren't training at the Temple?"


Caelan Valoren

 

[Caelan Valoren]

He winced.

"Sorry," he said. "Did kind of take you away from everything without notice. I'm sure we can get stuff sent over from Kashir, though. Your father is going to send over an attendant. Maybe they can bring what you need."

Though, maybe he wouldn't. He might not send anything in hopes she would return to Kashir herself to get her things and then he could keep her there away from Caelan until they were married. It was hard to say. That was a touchy subject. Anything to do with her father was going to be touch and go from that point on, especially if he caught wind of the fact that Caelan was suspicious of him and his motives, and that he was going to ask someone he knew in the Shadows to look into things.

When she mentioned belting out pop songs with Fate he nearly choked on his fish, though.

"No, we don't sing together. He's never even heard me sing, to be honest. I usually only do it when I'm totally alone. And it's usually just whatever song feels right in the moment, or a song my mother sang to me when I was younger."

He looked over at her, noting Fate sitting behind her and watching them.

"I'll sing for you sometime, I'm sure."

---

ATTIRE: LINK | WEAPON: Lightsaber | COMPANION: BD-F8 | OTHER: Sigil Bead (Necklace), Prosthetic Left Arm

TAGS: Anavi Vandala ​

 

[Queen of Devit]

"Well maybe that's why he has such an attitude with you. He wants to sing too." She glanced over at Fate and winked at the little droid, then laughed as it perked up, still with the flower attached to it.

"An attendant is just a fancy word for a chaperone, which I don't even understand. He wanted to be rid of me so what does he care what I do now?" Honestly he probably doesn't care. He just wants to make it look like he does." She sighed and sat the rest of her fish down, not really hungry anymore.

"I should probably go back though. My mom is going to miss me.... I think." She really did not know what to believe anymore. She lay back in the sand, feeling how warm it was against her exposed skin and stared up at the bright cloudless sky.

"We should just elope. Then he gets what he wants and I can get on with trying to figure out how to have a life now that he's meddled in it."

She felt like she was a toddler throwing a tantrum with these statements and any other time she would have shut up and changed the subject, but there was nobody around and she was sick of pretending this all didn't bother her.

Caelan Valoren

 

[Caelan Valoren]

"Maybe Fate can be the number one singer among droids. Chart topping single: Beep Boop," he said, winking at the droid who hopped up and started bouncing on his feet in excitement. "Hey, don't let us stop you. Go run around and record your song and send it out. I don't mind."

"Dwooo-beep beep bwoo-dwoop!"

Caelan laughed as the droid ran off, took another bite of his fish, and then looked back to Anavi. He shrugged his shoulders. Fate was something else, definitely not the ordinary droid. Ever since they'd met he'd seemed to have a personality more indicative of a living person than a droid. It was pretty cool, most of the time. Very useful in breaking the ice with people that were nervous about meeting others.

When she mentioned not believing that her father cared, he sighed and lowered his fish again.

"I'm pretty sure he's just using you to try and control me, but it's not going to work. That's probably why he wants you to come back. If you do, he'll rescind our engagement and then marry you off to someone he CAN control, someone nasty, probably."

Part of him was afraid that was true, that she'd go back and he'd no longer get to marry her. That was why he was so vocal about not wanting her to return. The other part of him was afraid that she wanted to go back because she didn't want to marry him. But then she mentioned eloping and he blinked.

"Anavi you don't even love me in that way. I need the chance to win that love from you. If we eloped I'm afraid that you'd end up resenting me in time even if it meant you were free of your father's influence and scheming."

---

ATTIRE: LINK | WEAPON: Lightsaber | COMPANION: BD-F8 | OTHER: Sigil Bead (Necklace), Prosthetic Left Arm

TAGS: Anavi Vandala ​

 

[Queen of Devit]

"I'm pretty sure he's just using you to try and control me, but it's not going to work. That's probably why he wants you to come back. If you do, he'll rescind our engagement and then marry you off to someone he CAN control, someone nasty, probably."

"You are probably right." She sighed and continued to stare up at the bright blue sky. She could see birds swooping in and out of her vision and hear the waves. It was so unreal that just earlier today she had been in her own bedroom and now she was on some island that wasn't even inhabited.

"Anavi you don't even love me in that way. I need the chance to win that love from you. If we eloped I'm afraid that you'd end up resenting me in time even if it meant you were free of your father's influence and scheming."

"That's kind of the point though." She sat up and leaned on her arms, digging them into the sand so she could look at him. "A big fancy wedding just feels so fake. It's obvious this marriage was brought about for a political game and we don't even know what the game is. What is your planet even getting out of this deal? A Queen I guess but you could have just as easily found a nice girl FROM your people and it would mean more. So what is my dad playing at? A big fancy wedding is just a lie. Its us standing up there like puppets putting on a show for the people who want to see it. Besides I already love you in some way. Its better than Horace or someone like him. I could never love them at all. So sure maybe this isn't ideal or anything but what in life is? It's an arrangement and it feels like one but that still doesn't mean we have to throw a big fake party. It's not like my dad is just at home crying about his desire to walk me down the aisle. He clearly doesn't care. He needed to get me out of the way and he did it fast, but so fast he didn't have time to think it over. The more time he has to think the more demands he's going to make of you. The quicker we seal the deal the less he gets out of this. Honestly the only reason I don't just run away from all of this is because I'm worried about what is being done to my people. If I leave completely I'll never be able to help them."

She lay back in the sand and stared at the sky again. "Besides I wouldn't resent you. You are basically the only reason I'm not at home crying my eyes out right now waiting for some stranger to show up and make be have his children. You've done a lot to save me from a life that could be brutal and I'm never going to forget that. None of this is your fault."

Caelan Valoren

 

[Caelan Valoren]

What does Lazerian IV get?

That was a loaded question and he suddenly no longer felt like eating. All the happiness he had felt about being with her, the joy at seeing Fate so enthused, just felt like it was drained away from him in an instant. When she said that all he could think about was the fact that he loved her, and that what his world, his people, got was her, but she acted like they needed something else. Not in the sense that she believed they lacked something. It wasn't her trying to take a dig at his people. She was just trying to understand the deal.

But it still hurt.

He listened to everything she said without responding immediately, even when she did her best to allay his fear that she blamed him for it all, or that she would resent him. Maybe that was stupid of him to believe that she would. It was a childish thing to resent someone for doing what they believe is best and right in defense of someone else and she knew that was why he'd agreed to the arrangement. She wouldn't hold that against him.

"If that's what you want to do then I'll do it," he said, taking what was left of his fish and tossing it off into the water for some other critter to eat. "But I want you to know that I'm not doing it to spite your father even though I dislike what he's done to you. I don't agree with arranged marriages at all. I think they're archaic and detrimental to the well-being of those involved.

"I'll do it because I love you and want to protect you at any cost. I'll do it because I know that my people get not just a Queen, but someone who will actually care about them and grow to love them as I do. They're getting someone who will make their King happy and that's important too. I know my people and so many of them were hurting after the loss of my parents. They loved them. Ever since Aereen stood up to her father, House Valoren has been a house for the people, and my father wanted desperately to unite the Kingdom with Doxeti and bring all of Lazerian's people together. They loved him for who he was, and they loved my mother for helping him be who he was.

"They'll love you for standing beside me and helping me along the way. So it may not seem like we're getting anything out of this deal, but we're getting far more than your father ever will."

---

ATTIRE: LINK | WEAPON: Lightsaber | COMPANION: BD-F8 | OTHER: Sigil Bead (Necklace), Prosthetic Left Arm

TAGS: Anavi Vandala ​

 

[Queen of Devit]

As he spoke about his people she listened, still starting up at the sky. He was right in the fact that the people of the planet did care about who their leader was and wouldn't they want to celebrate if their king got married? She supposed the whole party had to happen, even if she felt like it was just a way for her father to push the nail further into her coffin. The truth was it really wasn't about her. It was about the people of the planet who would be looking for her to lead them beside Caelan. If they didn't have a party it would look like she didn't care, or that she didn't want to meet his people. That could cause even more issues and the planet had suffered enough tragedy. She wouldn't add to it.

She was surprised when he said he didn't agree with arranged marriages though. She figured he must always have assumed his life might go that way, being royal and all, and especially now that he was a ruler. He seemed to have some pretty strong opinions on them though and she hadn't expected that.

"We don't have to do this." She sat up and looked at him again. "The arrangement I mean. If you feel so strongly against arranged marriages there is another way that doesn't end with me being forced to marry Horace. I could leave Kashir. If my father can't find me then he can't marry me off. I would find a way to help the people without being their princess."

She picked up a handful of sand and let it pour out of her hand, onto her knee, just idly playing while her mind worked. "If we do get married though we probably have to do the whole party, even if its fake. To the people it's not and they are all that matters." She let the rest of the sand fall on her knee in a clump and looked out over the waves. She'd had enough time to pout about this situation. It was time to grow up and start acting the way she was expected to act.

Caelan Valoren

 

[Caelan Valoren]

As soon as she mentioned another way his stomach twisted into knots. He didn't want another way, despite not like arranged marriages. It was hypocritical of him, but he was happy for this one because it did mean he got to be with her, and that was what he wanted. But it also meant he could protect her from whatever games her father was playing. He couldn't do that if she ran away from Kashir. And her people?

"He'd hunt you down until he found you," Caelan said, shaking his head. "I know the galaxy is a huge place, but there are people who specialize in using the Force to track people. He'd just get one of them to find you. You'd never be safe and your people would remain under the syndicates thumb."

No, he wouldn't let her life be lived in constant fear of being found by her father and imprisoned or forced into something with someone horrible. He couldn't do that. He couldn't live with himself if he allowed that. He knew that she was just suggesting it because he spoke out strongly against arrangements. She was trying to protect him from having to do something he detested. It warmed him that she cared enough to do that, but he wouldn't allow that to let something bad happen to her.

Instead, he moved over to sit beside her and reached for her hand.

"The party isn't really fake. Our union would be real, and letting people see it and celebrate the union is real. Letting them get to know you is real. Yes, your father's celebration will be fake, but mine won't be. Even though you don't feel as I do, I will never be happier than being married to you, my Emberheart. So let's elope, and then we can plan a party, and after that you can do as you wish on Lazerian. Attend the academy and hone your healing skills or whatever you decide. And you'll be free to visit your home without worrying about what your father wants."

---

ATTIRE: LINK | WEAPON: Lightsaber | COMPANION: BD-F8 | OTHER: Sigil Bead (Necklace), Prosthetic Left Arm

TAGS: Anavi Vandala ​

 

[Queen of Devit]

"You are honestly a better person than I even deserve. Thank you for doing all this for me. " She did not like the sound of people who used the Force to hunt others for a living. It made her shudder just thinking about it.

She thought instead about what he was saying about the party for a moment, picturing it in her mind. "So we elope... and then we throw a party celebrating us... instead of the party where my dad gets to make a big fake speech, its a real party about us celebrating a new life. That might work. I'll have to think on it though. Won't it hurt our friends or family if we don't have an actual wedding?" She lay her head on his shoulder and with her other hand started pushing sand onto his free hand playfully.

"Besides if we have a wedding you and Fate can sing... we won't even need to spend money on a band." She giggled and Fate started beeping.

Caelan Valoren

 

[Caelan Valoren]

"Don't say that," he said, shaking his head. "I'm not that good a person. I've killed before."

It was true. He'd killed the person he was cloned from. He'd been forced to kill in battle before. Yes, he would do anything for her and he would do anything for his people, but he wasn't as good as he was made out to be. He didn't believe he deserved her, or happiness, or a host of other things, and he was still amazed when he ended up getting them.

"I don't think it'll hurt them. We'll have Fate record it and we can send it to them. Your father will be angry, but I think any other friends or family would just be happy for us and would express as much at the party. I don't have any close family besides Kita, anyway. My uncle and my cousin might come to the party, but I don't know them well."

Or at all, really, which was something he needed to rectify if he was going to bring the entirety of Lazerian together under one government.

She leaned her head on his shoulder and he leaned his head over against hers gently. It was going to be difficult getting used to being married to someone who didn't share the same sort of love for him as he did for her, but he hoped she would develop it eventually. And when they had children, he knew she would at least love them and care for them as a good mother. Anavi would be a great mother, of that he was certain. He couldn't ask for a better queen.

"I won't sing for anyone but you. Maybe our future kids. Maybe."

He didn't move his hand, letting her put sand over it.

"So I think it's settled then. We'll elope, Fate can record it, we'll share it with those who we want to know, and then we'll plan a party for the near future."

---

ATTIRE: LINK | WEAPON: Lightsaber | COMPANION: BD-F8 | OTHER: Sigil Bead (Necklace), Prosthetic Left Arm

TAGS: Anavi Vandala ​

 

[Queen of Devit]

Anavi wasn’t exactly sure what romantic love was, so she always supposed she had never felt it. But she did feel things for Caelan. He was good and decent even if his work as a Jedi forced him into terrible situations. She thought the world of him and she felt happy to be with him just now. She hadn’t realized how much she had missed him since they were kids.

His plan seemed like a good one but she was slightly worried about her mom. Anavi was Miri’s only child so this would be the only child getting married unless Miri had another baby. Then again eloping would mean she could go home and actually see her mom. Surely her mom wasn’t involved in crime? Anavi just didn’t know what to believe anymore.

“Seems like a good plan.”

His talk about children made her wince a little. She still wasn’t sure she was ready for all that. She hadn’t even been an adult for a full day yet. She hadn’t ever done babysitting since she was the youngest. The only kid she’d ever known was Caelan.

She brushed the sand off his hand, letting it topple off to the side. “We should go look for sea shells. My mom had one that she said came from an ocean. I wonder if this place has any?”

Caelan Valoren

 

[Caelan Valoren]

He could feel her wince when he mentioned kids. Not just through the physical movement, but from the Force itself as their proximity allowed him to still feel things. He struggled with sensing things, but with her this close, it wasn't that hard.

"We won't have kids right away," he promised, turning his head to kiss the top of hers. "We're only eighteen. We have time."

When she mentioned looking for sea shells, Fate perked up and bounded down towards the water. Of course, he got to close and had to quickly bound back away from it, much to the mirth of Caelan. The droid did seem to be enjoying their little excursion almost as much, if not more, than the two of them were. Not necessarily a bad thing. Fate was sort of like their watchful companion who kept an eye on things when they weren't looking, but also had a mind of his own.

"We can look for some, sure. I know there are some nice ones in the water if you're willing to wade. Saw them when I was fishing."

---

ATTIRE: LINK | WEAPON: Lightsaber | COMPANION: BD-F8 | OTHER: Sigil Bead (Necklace), Prosthetic Left Arm

TAGS: Anavi Vandala ​

 

[Queen of Devit]

"We can look for some, sure. I know there are some nice ones in the water if you're willing to wade. Saw them when I was fishing."

“Sure. Fate you can keep guard over any shells we find.” She smiled at the droid. She didn’t want him to feel left out but also wasn’t sure if the droid could get wet or not.

They got up and headed for the water. It was so beautifully clear that they could see the bottom easily. Anavi stuck her foot in slowly, bracing for the chill, but the water was warm and inviting. It smelled salty too, something the lakes she had visited never smelled like.

“Wow it’s really warm.”

Caelan Valoren

 

[Caelan Valoren]

Come to think of it, Caelan wasn't sure how well Fate would do in the water either. He'd gotten wet before, rain and all that, but he'd never been submerged. Probably not the best idea to test whether or not he was water tight on a trip to an island where they didn't have the capability of fixing him if it turned out he wasn't.

"Yeah, I think him watching the shells is a good idea," Caelan agreed as he rose and dusted the sand off himself.

Fate beeped in agreement and trapsed after Anavi as she headed for the water. Caelan followed the both of them and smiled as Anavi stuck her foot in and noted that the water was warm.

"Tropical climate. Water is pretty warm unless you dive in deeper."

He waded in a bit.

"Come on, let's find some shells."

---

ATTIRE: LINK | WEAPON: Lightsaber | COMPANION: BD-F8 | OTHER: Sigil Bead (Necklace), Prosthetic Left Arm

TAGS: Anavi Vandala ​