Private Judith

[Ben Khal]

Cora's reaction to the token caused Oukranos to cock his head. He guessed that she had learned more from interacting with Judith on the return journey, but what she had discovered was certainly alarming. "Do you believe she poses a threat to the baby?" he asked. Based on his own observations, Judith didn't appear to harbor resentment toward her child anymore, or at least not to the level the duchess had described. Right now she was sitting inside the home, nursing the newborn.

"I can't blame her. She was raped, captured – who knows what else – and she panicked. She probably just wanted to go back home."

"She may not have known the full extent of what she was agreeing to at the time," Oukranos said softly. "Or she may have, and it is as you say."

"If we leave things as they are, the duchess and her men would probably come back and take the baby by force. Even if they don't, it'll be hard on Judith. They're poor. Beyond poor – it sounds harsh, but it's true. Judith herself knows."

Oukranos sat down across from Cora, resting his hands on his knees. Ben was out of earshot, playing with his datapad, and both Judith and her aunt were inside. "I have a few ideas," he said. "But first, what would you suggest?"

Corazona von Ascania​

 

[Corazona von Ascania]

Cora fell quiet in thought for a few long moments. She was certain that Judith had no intent to harm her baby, but she was busy recalling the way she'd looked down at the infant, wondering what sort of monster would wish her own child dead.

"No, I don't think she does," Cora said with finality. "She's positively smitten with her baby."

Which raised another problem. They wouldn't force Judith to give up her child, but what was to be done? Cora found herself backing against the smooth face of a rock, easing her weight onto the flat slope of its surface.

"Well…" she began, tentative. "We could see if Judith and the duchess are open to a partial custody agreement. One where Judith can raise her child with financial support from the duchess. I'm not sure if either of them would go for something like that, though."

Cora cocked her head to the side, not entirely sold on her own idea. "We could offer to move Judith and her family to somewhere beyond the duchess' reach, but I doubt they'd want to be displaced."

As she spoke, her gaze wandered over to where Ben sat in the distance with his datapad.

Ben Khal

 

[Ben Khal]

"No, I don't think she does. She's positively smitten with her baby."

"That's good news," Oukranos said. The seat he had chosen across from Cora turned out to be a rocking chair, much to his amusement; he let it rock gently back and forth as they conversed, deep in thought.

"We could see if Judith and the duchess are open to a partial custody agreement. One where Judith can raise her child with financial support from the duchess. I'm not sure if either of them would go for something like that, though."

"I have similar doubts." The duchess probably wouldn't honor such an arrangement, and he suspected the Ukatian legal system would not adequately protect Judith or her child.

"We could offer to move Judith and her family to somewhere beyond the duchess' reach, but I doubt they'd want to be displaced."

"I was going to suggest we offer Judith a place with the Jedi Order," Oukranos said. "She is Force sensitive, and ought to be given a chance to learn how to use the Force for good. But if you think she wouldn't be open to that..." He trailed off. This was a difficult situation with no clear answer.

Cora was no longer looking at him, either. He followed her gaze toward his Padawan, who was still scowling over his datapad. "I'm afraid he's in a bad mood," Oukranos said in a low voice. "There was a discussion on the way back from the ship about something Blaise had said and, well... Things got heated." His voice dropped an octave on the last part, and he quickly cleared his throat. "I am certain cooler heads will prevail in time."

Corazona von Ascania​

 

[Corazona von Ascania]

"I think it might be worth suggesting to her," Cora said after some thought. Both hands braced themselves on the rock behind her, idly drumming the nails of her organic hand against the stone. "Judith did express uncertainty for what would happen if she gets angry again - hurt someone, she means. In that way, we could help her.” She paused.

"Not that he didn't deserve it," Cora added with a bitter mumble. Could Judith's anger become deadly again in a more innocent situation? It was possible.

When the conversation turned to Ben, Cora let her attention linger a little longer on the boy's back before turning to Oukranos. For a moment, she was struck by the notion that he looked rather grandfatherly in that rocking chair.

"Blaise said a lot of things," she murmured. "I've never met a Hapan man before," she confessed. There was a long pause, during which Cora reflected on the awful things that the magus had said to her. Some of which weren't exactly lies, but painful truths she didn't know how to confront.

"What did you two talk about?"

Ben Khal

 

[Ben Khal]

"I think it might be worth suggesting to her. Judith did express uncertainty for what would happen if she gets angry again - hurt someone, she means. In that way, we could help her.”

Oukranos nodded along in agreement. It might be their best shot - though if Judith declined the offer, they still needed a backup. "In the event that she refuses, it is the duchess we will have to deal with. We must find a way to convince her to leave Judith and her baby alone."

"Not that he didn't deserve it."

Quiet reigned for a few moments after she spoke. Oukranos didn't add anything on the subject. Cora already knew how Pylantians dealt with violent criminals. Even their gentler methods were an incomplete solution, their attempts at rehabilitation largely ineffective. Either there was something crucial that they were missing, or perhaps there was no redemption to be had. Only containment, or elimination.

"Blaise said a lot of things. I've never met a Hapan man before."

"I've met quite a few," Oukranos said, privately musing on his time undercover with the Se'n Dorrin. "They are much like Hapan women, just with fewer rights."

"What did you two talk about?"

The discussion was taking a turn down a road Oukranos wasn't sure he wanted to traverse. Not because he was afraid that Cora would fall into the same trap of behaving exactly as Blaise said she would, but because despite the boy's unfortunate views, he still cared for Ben. He didn't want to shame or embarrass his Padawan simply because of the way he was raised or the culture he happened to be born into. After a moment's thought, he chose his words carefully.

"Hapans consider men to be innately brutal beings, prone to violence and driven by a desire to dominate. They are taught that rape is a crime unique to males, and that it is impossible for a female to force herself upon a male. What Blaise said about me challenged that belief. Ben is smart, and he means well, but... He is still Hapan. Rather than accept that what he was taught was wrong, he chose to believe that what happened to me must have been a quirk of my alien biology."

Corazona von Ascania​

 

[Corazona von Ascania]

It was only logical that if Judith refused their help, they'd have to turn their attention to the duchess. Cora barely suppressed a grimace at the thought of navigating the power dynamics of the Ukatian aristocracy. "That might prove difficult," she said. "But I suppose it's not impossible."

When Oukranos fell quiet at her question, Cora prepared to backpedal, worried she'd hit a nerve. Her face softened in a silent expression of empathy at his measured response.

In truth, what Blaise had said about the Master - if it was true at all - had startled her, too. What surprised her now, was that in her darkest moments, she would find it difficult to entirely disagree on the Hapan view of men.

At least, where her countrymen were concerned.

"If that…were to happen on Ukatis, the man would be considered lucky. Or perhaps the punchline of a joke."

She shook her head, imagining the bawdy tavern songs. Much like Hapans, Ukatians generally believed that sexual assault only went one way.

"What the magus said, about me viewing you as weak and womanly…that isn't true."

She didn't know if her view would mean much to him, if anything at all, but she felt the need to clarify something that Blaise had gotten wrong. Cora's hand slid down the side of the rock, idly picking at the pedals of a hardy flowering weed.

"I went through something similar to Judith, though it did not result in a living child. Because I was married, it was neither a crime nor a wrongdoing."

She stared off into the forest line, watching the tips of ancient trees sway as a particularly strong breeze rolled past.

"I have this overwhelming urge to protect her. To prevent any further suffering of hers."

Ben Khal

 

[Ben Khal]

Oukranos nodded slightly, looking a little off to the side rather than directly at Cora. He remembered what it was like to return to the Order afterward, hypersensitive to any joke or reference. "Such attitudes are not unique to Ukatis," he muttered.

"What the magus said, about me viewing you as weak and womanly… that isn't true."

His gaze darted back to Cora, and although he had not doubted her, relief flickered across his face. "I know," he said, a hint of a smile curling his mouth. "But it is good to hear you say it."

He listened as she spoke about her experience. He was already somewhat aware of her history—their first meeting had occurred while she was still married to the prince. Master Jai had filled him in on any details pertinent to their mission, but he was right: Oukranos didn't really know her. It was one thing to read a dossier about a person, and quite another to hear them speak about themselves.

"I have this overwhelming urge to protect her. To prevent any further suffering of hers."

"You know what it's like to suffer as she has," Oukranos murmured. "And you wish someone had been there to protect you. But, Cora..." His tone was stern and serious, but not unkind. "Ukatis is full of Judiths. She is a drop in the bucket. I am not saying that you shouldn't save her, but there are many more like her still suffering."

Many Corazonas, too.

Corazona von Ascania​

 

[Corazona von Ascania]

As Oukranos spoke, Cora bit the inside of her cheek. He was right, of course. Neither her nor Judith's situations were unique. Sexism was rooted so deeply into their culture that women counted assaults like these as a simple, but unfortunate, fact of life.

There was something leading in Oukranos' tone. Cora wasn't sure if it made her angry or embarrassed or both. She set those feelings to the side in favor of hearing the point he was building towards.

If anger or shame kicked up, she could explore those later.

Her gaze drifted from the forest to the turned back of Ben. Her tone was slow and controlled, carefully so.

"What would you have me do?"

Ben Khal

 

[Ben Khal]

Oukranos tilted his head to the side, his blue eyes searching her face. It appeared he had hit a nerve, if the hints of anger and shame he felt from her were any indication. He had expected a negative reaction of some kind, yet he couldn’t help but feel a twinge of sadness when his prediction came to pass and she deflected, answering him with another question.

"What would you have me do?"

“I don’t know,” Oukranos answered. “I am a stranger to this world, not knowledgeable enough about it to tell you what to do. But I think if anyone can help Ukatis, it's you. Not because you are a noblewoman and a princess by marriage, but because you care. You've seen your homeworld at its worst, and still you love this planet and its people.”

But if to love was to will the good of the other, she couldn't love it from afar. Oukranos wasn't sure if Cora was willing to make the sacrifices necessary to give Ukatis the attention it needed.

Corazona von Ascania​

 

[Corazona von Ascania]

You're right, she wanted to snap back. You don't know.

Cora kept her gaze averted from Oukranos. Her vision unfocused until the earthy browns of Ben's tunic bled into the golden green of the grass and the blue of the sky. It was a struggle to not see the Jedi Master as yet another man trying to tell her how to live her life. Oukranos, she reminded herself, was coming from a place of sincerity.

"I'm not sure if it's really love," she admitted. "But I can't seem to stay away. I keep coming back – the clinics, the lessons, the refugee camp – I find any little reason to come back to Ukatis. And the moment I return, a part of me hates this place."

Folding her arms across her chest, Cora chewed at her lower lip with uncertainty.

"That doesn't mean that the people here don't deserve to be cared for. I can't uproot millennia of sexism in one lifetime. No one can."

Ben Khal

 

[Ben Khal]

Oukranos was silent, absorbing what Cora said. She was uncertain. Despite saying she hated this place, it was clear she hadn't completely turned her back on Ukatis.

Yet she wouldn't look at him. He felt like he was losing her, whatever rapport they had built falling apart before his eyes. He wanted to respond with understanding, but he felt reluctant to speak about his own experience. Part of him was still afraid that she would look upon his attempts at bridging the gap between them with disdain. Not because of cultural differences, necessarily, but because he sensed that she was angry at him for reasons he had no control over. For having the shape of a man, maybe, even though he wasn't really a man.

"That doesn't mean that the people here don't deserve to be cared for. I can't uproot millennia of sexism in one lifetime. No one can."

There was a kernel of hope in her words. “On Hapes,” he said softly. “There are men who fight for their rights. They get picked off every so often, their numbers reduced to a level where they no longer pose a threat to the status quo. But a few survive, and carry on, and keep up the fight. It will be a long process, changing their world. But in order to reach their goal of a better society, they have to start somewhere...”

The door to the Shepherds’ home opened suddenly and Judith stepped out. Her rags had been exchanged for an old but clean dress; it was decorated with what may have once been a vibrant green leaf print, the color pale and washed out. The dirt had been scrubbed from her face, revealing countless freckles from long days spent in the fields with her flock. She paused and looked between them for a moment, her green eyes squinting against the setting sun. “Auntie wants to know if you’re staying for supper,” she said.

Corazona von Ascania​

 

[Corazona von Ascania]

Oukranos would be able to see the side profile of Cora's face as it began to soften. She grounded herself in the idea that Ukatis' plight was not unique – even if the idea of women culturally dominating men was still strange to her.

Was it sheer determination that had kept Hapan men pushing against the status quo, despite having made so few gains? Was it something biological? Hapans were descended from raiders, after all.

"Do you think they'll do it?" she asked. How many rebellions had been squashed beneath the heel of oppression, stamping out their message and relegating them into a simple footnote? The colorful fairy tails that had once occupied her dreams were now torn and stained with ink.

The sound of the door opening brought Cora's gaze to Judith. Her eyes flicked back to Oukranos, assuaging his expression, then to the shepherdess.

"We'd love to," she said. It would be impolite to refuse implied hospitality.

Ben Khal

 

[Ben Khal]

"Do you think they'll do it?"

"Yes." Oukranos' reply was certain. "Even if it takes a thousand years, they will hammer Hapes into something livable." Not perfect, for utopias do not exist. But their world would be better, safer, and freer than it was.

Ben finally looked up from his datapad at the promise of a meal. Oukranos smiled and nodded at Judith. "We would be honored." He gave Cora a knowing look. Dinner would present a good opportunity to present their options to the Shepherds.

A short while later, the three Jedi found themselves seated at a wooden table marked by generations of use. Miss Shepherd served them simple, coarse food. What it lacked in flavor or spice it made up for in its nutritional density, the ingredients chosen based on how much energy they would confer to the hard-working peasants who ate them.

Half-starved after such a long day, Ben started eating as soon as food was laid in front of him. But then Miss Shepherd began to pray out loud. The Padawan abruptly stopped chewing and looked around awkwardly, unsure of what to do. Judith had her hands folded in front of her and her head bowed; Oukranos sat quietly and respectfully, his eyelids lowered. Swallowing, Ben put his hands together in front of his lips to hide the fact that there was grease around his mouth and waited out the prayer in silence.

After the prayer was finished and they had officially begun to eat, Oukranos decided to make a move. He started by complimenting the cooking, then gradually shifted the conversation to a more pressing subject: "The duchess will most likely continue to pursue Judith and her baby," he said. "We can try to convince her to give up the chase, but there is no guarantee she won't continue to harass you after we leave."

Both women looked up from their meals at him. Miss Shepherd's wrinkled brow was creased with worry, while her niece's eyes were narrowed with defiance. The baby was asleep in an old bassinet in the corner of the room, wrapped in the same blankets that had once swaddled Judith herself.

"We wish to offer you another option," Oukranos continued. "Judith, you and your baby are welcome to come with us. The Jedi Order will provide you with lodgings. You'll be safe from the duchess, and you can receive training to learn how to use your powers."

For several seconds, the table was completely silent. Everyone was looking at Judith, waiting for a reaction, an answer, something. She scowled at their expectant faces. "Will I end up like her?" she asked, jerking her chin at Cora. "So starry-eyed by other worlds that I look down on my own countrymen with loathing, and grow to hate my homeland?"

Oukranos opened his mouth to respond, then closed it, realizing she must have overheard part of their conversation on the porch. Namely, the worst parts she could’ve possibly heard.

"Or are you just like the duchess, wanting my baby for your own ends?" Judith continued. Her voice lowered in volume as she grew more angry, a trait that struck him as far more unsettling than if she had begun shouting. "Only this time, you want me too. To make another Jedi."

Corazona von Ascania​

 

[Corazona von Ascania]

As the whole table looked to Judith, Cora's curious expression deepened in mild horror and embarrassment.

Oh dear.

Oukranos had broached the subject as respectfully as he could, but Judith happened to overhear Cora's vulnerable confession to the Jedi master. Just when she'd begun chipping away at the girl's frosty exterior, too. There was another long bout of silence after Judith's tirade, during which Cora collected herself. Placing her cutlery down, she looked the shepherdess directly in her eyes.

"I'm sorry for what you overheard, Judith. I do struggle with my own feelings toward Ukatis - but I do not despise my countrymen, nor my homeland."

Her tone was quiet, almost stern, but not harsh. Cora's face softened at the thought of what must've been going through Judith's mind to provoke such a reaction.

"You will decide what becomes of yourself and your baby, Judith. Not us. You've had too many choices taken from you already, and we only want to give you an option that'll keep the both of you safe and together."

It was a situation with no perfect solution. Cora smiled a little, soft and sad.

"If you do not trust me, I don't have to be involved."

Ben Khal

 

[Ben Khal]

"I'm sorry for what you overheard, Judith. I do struggle with my own feelings toward Ukatis - but I do not despise my countrymen, nor my homeland."

"Yes, you do," Judith insisted. "I heard you say it with my own two ears. Your friend tried to convince you not to hate us, and all you did was look off into the distance like a princess in a bloody tower, waiting for someone else to come and do the saving for you."

"What are you talking about, Judi?" Miss Shepherd asked. "There's nothing for you here, you know that. These people are offering you a better life, can't you see?"

"If I may," Oukranos interjected as gently as he could. "You will be under no obligation to become a Jedi if you come with us. If all you want is safety from the duchess, we can provide that."

"If you do not trust me, I don't have to be involved."

"Gods, you don't understand at all, do you?" Judith muttered, her anger deflating. "I want to trust you. You're supposed to be my queen." But then she shook her head and lifted her chin. "I won't go. I won't leave Ukatis. This is my home, my world. I want my son to grow up here, to be Ukatian, and I don't care what you think of me for it."

A beat passed. "I think you are very brave, Judith," Oukranos said, a little smile in his crinkled eyes. "And I will respect your wishes. We will deal with the duchess."

Corazona von Ascania​

 

[Corazona von Ascania]

Another flush of shame spread over the pale skin of her cheeks. It appeared that Judith had not only heard their conversation, but she'd been watching them, too. A spark of frustration flickered in her belly; either she'd said all of the wrong things to Judith, or the girl was committed to challenging her.

Cora wondered if she was too in her own head about this, too selfish. Since her disaster of a marriage, Ukatis always made her feel different, as if she had no right to her own homeland. There was a lesson in all of this; in Oukranos' talk of Hapes and Judith's needs. A lesson that Cora found increasingly difficult to confront.

Why does it have to be me? I never wanted this.

Her lips parted, then pressed into a thin line. That wasn't quite true.

Her weary gaze studied Judith before passing to Oukranos. A weight of expectation settled unpleasantly in her stomach, like a sinking lead weight.

"Very well," she sighed. "I will need to clean myself up, first."

Ben Khal

 

[Ben Khal]

Ben certainly would have preferred if Judith had accepted their offer. At least then they could count their work here finished. But she was determined to stay on Ukatis, which meant the Jedi had to finish up matters with the duchess. Moreover, the Padawan had a bad feeling about whatever was to come. After all, their last meeting had ended with the duchess fleeing from the Jedi in terror. He didn't think she would welcome them with open arms this time.

"Very well. I will need to clean myself up, first."

"And I will need to check on our guest back at the ship," Oukranos added. Blaise was secured in the brig, but that didn't mean they could just leave him unattended for hours on end. "One of us will have to stay here in case the duchess' men come." He glanced toward Ben.

The Padawan paused, spoon midway to his mouth. "You want me to stay?" he asked.

"No," Oukranos answered. "You will accompany Cora to deal with the duchess. I will stay behind, both to keep an eye on Blaise and to ensure that Judith and her baby are not interfered with." Oukranos looked at the Shepherds. "If you don't mind having me here, that is."

Miss Shepherd chuckled. "You're all right by me, young man."

"What's your name, Master Jedi?" Judith asked suddenly. She had left the table to pick up her son as he began fussing in his cradle.

"Oukranos Cthylla," he replied.

Judith winced at the strangeness of the alien name, her brow furrowing as her lips struggled to repeat the sounds. For a moment she seemed like she might regret the idea she'd had, but eventually she settled on, "Kranos. My boy's name will be Kranos Shepherd."

"You do me a great honor," Oukranos said, bowing. "Although Corazona is more deserving. I only subdued the magus."

Judith turned to the Knight. "Well, I can't give him a girl's name," she said, shrugging. "And I don't like the sound of Corazon. Maybe as a middle name, I guess..."

Meanwhile Ben sat in silence, letting his master's orders sink in. The bad feeling had deepened into a full-on sickness, turning his stomach. He set the spoon back in his bowl, no longer hungry.

---

​

Alecto Kennet, the Duchess of Carolus, dwelled in a castle atop a large hill overlooking a vast expanse of forest. Judith had been able to provide accurate directions to Ben and Cora, who soon spotted the fortress from below.

Night was falling over the land. They hadn't slept; there was no time. Oukranos had instructed them to call him if they were in need of anything, but other than that the two were on their own. "Do you think her soldiers will let us pass?" Ben asked Cora, looking up at the castle. His negative feelings had quieted during the uneventful ride from the village, but he hadn't forgotten the sense of foreboding at dinner. He remained on his guard.

Corazona von Ascania​

 

[Corazona von Ascania]

Cora turned towards the cradle as the baby fussed. Such sweet, soft little sounds that tugged at heartstrings she'd long thought severed. Judith had been correct after all. Perhaps she was a little jealous.

"Ah," she held up both hands as her name came in to play. Kranos would be odd for a Ukatian, but to name a child after someone was to honor that person. She smiled, just a little. "Kranos sounds like a strong name."

---

Cora had insisted on washing before going to meet the duchess. At the very least, some water and soap were procured, which she used to clean her face and scrub her hands. She'd elected to leave the stained cloth of her outer layers with the Shepherds, opting for a spare tunic she'd found in the ship's storage. It was creased and stale, but it did the job.

She'd spent time on her hair, too, braiding it back partially in a regal style. Her fingers knew they way through the familiar motions. If she had neither a clean dress nor fine jewelry to wear, her hair and her bearing would be the next best thing.

Ben and Cora would be greeted by the chirping of crickets, carried along the crisp air as they journeyed uphill. The boy had been largely quiet through their meal.

"No," she answered after a moment of thought. "At least, not easily."

Being on the receiving end of a force stun was not a pleasant experience. Cora tugged gently at the reins of her mount, directing the horse along the path's gentle curve.

"Is Ukatis strange for you, Ben?"

Ben Khal

 

[Ben Khal]

Ben's control over his horse remained limited. At times it seemed the creature was only following Cora's horse, not the directions of its rider. Still, it was getting Ben to where he needed to go, which was all he needed of it.

"We could use the Force to persuade them," he suggested. "It's still using force, but at least we won't have to fight our way inside." The guards could keep their lives at the cost of their autonomy.

His eyebrows rose at her question. The boy carefully curated a response which, while a non-answer, at least would not offend her: "It is as strange to me as any other planet I have never visited before."

Corazona von Ascania​

 

[Corazona von Ascania]

"We could," Cora agreed. There was something tentative in her voice. The last time a Jedi had used a mind trick on a member of the Ukatian aristocracy, it had been a thing. They'd all received a talk about the importance of not manipulating civilians. Still, a little manipulation was preferable to drawing their blades.

For a few moments, there was only the sound of the horses' hooves as they clopped along the packed dirt.

"I can imagine," she said. "I grew up here. Everything was rather strange for me once I left."

The path that lead uphill was long and winding, and when they neared the top, the duchess's manor came into view. Situated along the path in front of them were a pair of riders.

"Halt!" One demanded. "Who goes there?"

Cora guided her mare forward to speak with them.

"Jedi Knight Corazona von Ascania and Padawan Ben Khal," she addressed them smoothly, shoulders back and head held level. "We've come to speak with the Duchess Carolus."

Ben Khal