Just Watch Me

[Chiasa Kritivaas]

It was about time to get this Force business under control. She could, under enough stress generate sparks or a moderate force push, but it was unpredictable and unreliable. If the damned Sith refused to allow the Ravens their independence and preferred war, fine. She would prepare for the worst, and part of that included getting her force powers under control.

First and foremost her mind would be her fortress. She had some ideas on how this could be achieved, but she had no intention of standing against a Sith Lord with only theory. It had been hard to find the man before, the Devaronian known as 'Psyche'. Cliche, but it didn't matter what he called himself, it mattered what he was and what he could do. What he was was a force user, and what he was known for was messing with people's minds. Usually to take their credits, Psyche had himself a bit of a substance abuse issue. One look into one of the Ravens drug warehouses and he was hers.

"Ready?" He asked.

"Yes."

No, she realized as she immediately felt him within her mind. No she had not been. He rifled through memories largely at random, though if he thought she hadn't noticed the way he was pulling up drug shipment routes and drop points he was very mistaken. Even half curled into herself and nauseous as the assault left her, she saw the pattern.

"Well, you're aware of me, but I didn't feel any resistance." He commented.

"Some people are unaware?"

"Most are." Was the reply with a shrug.

"Why aren't I?"

"Dunno, maybe because you're force sensitive." Another shrug.

'Or because I know my own mind and can recognize other...' She mused.

 

[Chiasa Kritivaas]

She needed to stop him, to slow him, to have a defensive perimeter around her mind.. Well, why not? It was her mind. If they wanted to come in they had to play by her rules. Why not build a wall then? As long as she believed in it, it was real within her mind where all of this was taking place.

Great Durasteel walls that reached as high as the eye could see. Pitted and scorched from past attacks that had failed to breach them. Thick. If the tops had been reachable they would have been easily wide enough for ten men abreast. Their roots were concealed deep within the ground.

"Again."

"Are you sure?" He asked.

"Again."

Again she felt him, no nausea This time, she felt him enter her mind and then pause, confused, held at bay. She turned her minds eye inward again, interested in how this would appear. He was bigger, in his mind. Her mind? Bigger, more threatening, more charismatic as well, this must be how he saw himself then. She perceived his avatar standing there, his power coiling around him looking up at the wall, frowning. Suddenly he looked over at 'her' and grinned.

'Got you.'

Again the sickening drop in her stomach as he was suddenly within her, digging, going where he pleased.

"Better, it would have been hard to break through, I've never seen mental defences like that, why did you come out?" He asked curiously.

"Bad control."

She gritted out. The real answer was pride. She'd wanted to see her walls, her creations at work.

 

[Chiasa Kritivaas]

It wouldn't do. The walls were good, would keep out the unskilled, but what about one who could get through them? And what if she wanted to confront whoever was in her mind? Her avatar was too vulnerable still. But.. That was all it was. An avatar. It was not her. She could surely hide herself, her being, her memories away and still be able to walk the landscape of her mind.

Inward once more. What lay within the walls? A place of safety, a fortress. Not grim spires though, too many bad memories there. Besides, it wasn't her style. Sleek, modern. A Casino, why not? They were such an integral part of her life, even if neither was truly home. An amalgamation of both the Dragon Palace and the Golden Nautolan. Did it even have to stay static? Could the rooms not move and shift? Could passageways not lead one way when you entered and somewhere entirely different when you tried to exit? It was her mind, she'd do as she damned well pleased. It was taxing to keep so much in her mind, and she could feel a dull ache growing, but she needed this. Needed to be safe.

Between her avatars hands a glowing sphere materialized, opalescent and shifting.

'This is me. This is my soul, not the shell I move in. As long as this is safe, so am I.'

In the center of her Casino, her maze, she placed it.

'There.'

"Again."

"I don't know if- okay, you're the boss." He conceded at a venomous glance from the Twi'lek.

Again she felt him, again the wall stopped him. She materialized beside him.

'Ha, bad control indeed.' He gloated, grinning. The grin faded as nothing happened. 'What?'

'I am only a construct. Try harder. Here, I'll help.'

He was good, but she did not know if he had the sheer power to break through her walls. She thought not. She looked up at them and a gate formed, opened, revealing the Casino.

'Interesting, you have style anyway. Let's see if you have any substance.' With another grin he was gone, form fading into a rushing red tinted wind that howled up and into the Casino.

A faint uneasiness seized her, and she moved back to the central chamber that contained her essence. In minutes he was there, sweeping past her, reforming to seize her essence, digging greedy hands down into its surface...

"Damn!"

She swore, wiping a hand across her face and looking at it as she drew it away. Blood. A nosebleed.

"It was hard to find but I'm fast in there, there wasn't really anything to stop me, and you being there, being focused on it brought attention to it. Uh are you-"

"Fine."

 

[Chiasa Kritivaas]

He was right. She needed traps. And to be less obvious. A glowing orb in the central chamber. Really? That was hardly her style, what had she been thinking. She might have to learn these force users games, but she was still a criminal and intended to fight like one.

What did happen if you destroyed someone's avatar while they were in your mind? Hers was no longer her but theirs.. An interesting thought. Casino, it would have security of course, droids. Droids were easy to believe in. Organics would have been harder, creating whole personalities she had to believe in who would live within her mind seemed like a good way to go mad, but she could believe in droids. In the Dragon Palaces base models as well as RICO units.

What else? In several of the rooms and hallways she hid the desert. The never ending, parched, scorchingly hot desert, wracked with sandstorms. She remembered that locale well, could imagine it easily. Let others cope with what she had.

In the central chamber she gathered up her essence, looking back she tied fire and lightning to the floor tiles. Narrowing her 'eyes' a new orb flickered into view. Any who touched it would find themselves in the middle of a firestorm, the exits having disappeared.

An unassuming corridor, a door that led into a room, neither modest nor extravagant, one among many. Her essence slid back into her avatar for the moment. She looked around. Atop a dresser a particularly well made Raven formed Bird Watcher shimmered into being, tilting if head, ruby red mechanical eye glinting. Over the bedside table, a floating rock, like those on Ryloth. In the closet black dresses appeared on hangars. A mask, white and expressionless hung on the wall. A music box with a small Twi'lek dancer appeared on a coffee table. A rough furry brown throw covered the end of the bed. A picture, out of focus of an adult male and female Twi'lek with a small orange child between them. A pair of crushgaunts thrown on a countertop. A small fire sprang to life in a decorative fireplace.

'There. Find me now.'

 

[Chiasa Kritivaas]

"Again."

"Lady you were bleeding out your nose, I don't want to take the heat if-"

"Again. Once more."

Her voice brooked no argument.

'Fine.'

He was there already, waiting outside the walls, impatient. She was slower to materialize. Tired. Each attack was draining. Holding all these defences within her mind and keeping them active was draining. Still, the walls obligingly opened as she looked at them, and closed again as he rushed through in his wind form.

The droids didn't slow him, intangible as he was. He was temporarily confounded by one of the deserts, almost ripped apart by the stronger winds until he managed to find his way out again. He stormed straight through from there to the central chamber, he didn't even set off the traps tied to the floor, footless as he was. She made a note to think of defences on the fly based on how the attacker choose to appear. Still, as he took his own form and grinning reached for the orb once more she couldn't help but feel a flash of smugness.

As the exits disappeared and the firestorm was unleashed she thought herself back to the bedroom, she could feel his presence spike and then diminish.

Just a little rest...

She woke with a start to find herself on the floor, cheek in a cooling patch of her own blood. As brief panic took over her at having been vulnerable for any length of time she sat up, eyes roving. It took no time at all for them to fall on Psyche, on the floor across from her, eyes wide and unseeing, drooling.

She toggled her comm unit on.

"Declan."

"Ma'am? You don't sound good."

"Mmm. I need a body removed. I want a medical work up done. See if there's any brain activity."

"Best care?"

"No. Just find out what shape he's in. Then shoot him."

"Understood Ma'am."

She needed a real rest. Sleep. Water. And she had to practice holding up her defences. Tomorrow. Tomorrow was soon enough.

 

[Chiasa Kritivaas]

Three days later. The constant low grade headache was wearing on her, but there were no more nosebleeds and she was fairly certain she was keeping her defences up the majority of the day now. It wasn't nearly second nature enough that she thought it was up while she slept but she was fairly confident that given enough time it would be.

Time to move on.

Telekinesis. Push, pull and levitate. How did other people learn this? Not on their own likely, but then how many people had felt the kind of urgency, the drive that she did? Waiting for the hammer to drop, surrounded by people who either needed and depended on her or were working against her. There were times she did not enjoy being a criminal. It was too late now. This was who she was. This was what she had. Back to the matter at hand. Sith were usually told to harness their anger and such right? And Jedi.. Petitioned the Force? Saw themselves as an extension of it?

How did she use the force? Usually she felt threatened and she just.. Acted. She didn't think about it. She wasn't necessarily angry though that could trigger it and she certainly wasn't letting herself be subsumed by some mystical power.

'What ever I want, I take.'

That's what she had said. And it was true. But it was less about want and more about need. She needed things and so she made them happen. How? Persistence, style and bluffing mostly. Things happened because she believed them into existence so damned hard the rest of the galaxy went along with it.

Belief. Fake it till you make it and oh did the Twi'lek ever know how to fake it. Though, she snickered internally, that hadn't come up for a while.

 

[Chiasa Kritivaas]

A small precious stone sat on the table before her. Fixing it with a frosty glare she put her palms on the table.

'Lift.'

Despite the imperiousness of her command the stone continued to sit there like, well, a stone. They were well noted for their ability to do that.

Her brow creased into a rather unbecoming frown as she leaned slightly closer.

'Up.'

Nothing.

With a sigh she straightened again, one hand rubbing her forehead as she smiled ruefully. Here she was, one of if not the most powerful criminal figure in the galaxy and she was being defied by a rock. Her eyes widened. Her head jerked back to focus on the rock, without a bobble or hesitation it rose into the air.

"Yes!"

The Twi'lek grinned, eyes still on the stone. It wasn't a person. You didn't ask it or tell it. You simply moved it because you knew you could with a beskar hard conviction that could warp the galaxy. With a long enough lever.. Or a strong enough belief.

She narrowed her eyes slightly and it whizzed away, to bounce off a wall leaving a slight indent and fall to the floor. She tried to call it to herself and found that without the eye contact she could not.

Well. That was vexing but it was god to know your limitations she supposed.

 

[Chiasa Kritivaas]

Speaking of limitations.. She looked down at the table she sat at, removing her hands. It rose obligingly into the air, though this time she could feel the strain.

'These are not my muscles at work, this is my mind. With this I could move planets.'

Her mind however, and more importantly her belief had some trouble with this. In theory it was true, but while she took to hands free manipulations like a fish to water, she had issues believing she could move much more than she herself was physically capable of. Alone, unaided by the force she likely could have at least dragged the large, solid table, but it would not have been easy and she knew this on an almost cellular level. If absolutely pressed, she could probably use this newfound power to move a speeder, though not far and not for long. And it would likely hurt.

A thought, a wondering had her lowering the table back to the ground. Glad she was in her own chambers where no one else could see, she lithely climbed onto the table. She stood there for amount feeling faintly ridiculous, before raising the table again.

A stabbing behind her eyes had her hastily setting it down again, almost dropping it. It was possible then, but again it was hard to suspend her own disbelief. Stepping stones might be possible in a sticky situation however..

 

[Chiasa Kritivaas]

Another query about limitations had her stepping sheepishly off the table and moving over to her kitchenette. She opened the cutlery drawer and speculatively eyed the contents.

A fork rose, rotating slowly into the air. Easy. Now for the tricky part. Another rose to join it. There was no major increase in effort on her part. One brow rose slightly in surprise. Pleased surprise but surprise all the same. Steeling herself she turned her attention back to the contents of the drawer.

It wasn't long before all the cutlery was in the air and it was.. Well it was easy. When you juggled all the goings on of a multi-planet crime ring on a daily basis, what was keeping track of a few spoons? Pleasure rushed over her as she watched her silver entourage, turning, spinning, orbiting. This could be useful, this increased control of small things, both defensively and offensively.

Of course most beings in this day and age wore ungodly impenetrable armour of one sort or another so the ability to float twenty spoons instead of one likely wasn't going to tip the tides but still.. It was useful.

 

[Chiasa Kritivaas]

Take stock then.

She played as she thought, sending the cutlery swooping, some away from her, some toward and some staying static. Clockwise, counter-clockwise, weaving a mesmerizing pattern of silver in the air. This was fun. Large, heavy things were hard. A necessity but an unenjoyable one. This was like a game of skill, and the result had an aesthetic beauty she appreciated.

She was limited to what she could see. Though, as a spoon swooped behind her, it seemed mitigated if she already had the object in her mental grasp and was familiar with the space behind her. She suspected she could work remotely via video as well if it was a live feed. An idea to explore later.

She lacked the raw strength of some, there would be no throwing ships around for her. She rather thought her control and multitasking made up for this, as she settled the cutlery back in the drawer in its correct place.

All in all, she was pleased with the results.

 

[Chiasa Kritivaas]

A day later. The headache wasn't that bad. She'd dropped her defences twice when she got too distracted by other things, otherwise she'd maintained it.

She was in the middle of an empty room, meant to be modern, mostly sleek metals. Not, and this was important, flammable. She'd decided to start easy, with the abilities she already had some knowledge of, but she also didn't want to burn down the Casino.

She'd managed to make sparks before, again usually only under stress. She wasn't entirely sure how she did it. In comparison, telekinesis was easy. At least you were just moving something you could see. To start a fire though.. She could use her own hands to lift things, she could not just start a fire.

Still, when she'd done it, it had felt right, natural. If she could just find that feeling again..

 

[Chiasa Kritivaas]

She really had no idea how to go about this. It stymied her. She supposed she could sit there and think about speeding up the movement of molecules until friction caused a fire but that was so.. Technical. Dry. Boring.

Fire did not feel like that to her.

Fire was rage and passion. Fire was organic.

Fire was her wrath towards the people who stood against her and hers. Fire was the head rush she got when she felt Emberlis touch.

Fire was not some goddamn science.

Love and hate both hot in her mind, she could feel the color rising in her cheeks. This was what fire felt like. Reaching in, tapping that passion, sparks began to flicker into life around her. Coming faster and larger, like fat fireflies winking into and out of existence. Their warmth caressed her skin but did not burn it.

 

[Chiasa Kritivaas]

Sparks were good, they were a good start, but not enough. The walls of flame on Teth, that was what she wanted. It was likely beyond her grasp but she'd be damned if she didn't manage something a little more.. intimidating.

The heat on her skin reminded her of the pounding merciless sun in the desert she'd spent so much time in. She called up that memory, the unending impersonal heat, she called up nights in strong arms and the deep ferocious inescapable heat, she called up pain and shame and the howling wrathful heat.

As she did the sparks moved, came together in a dustdevil of flame, spinning and spitting. It was only about six feet high and perhaps two feet across, but it was hers. It was her passion and her heat that drove it.

Perhaps there would be times when emotions would make it hard to call the heat, but she understood it now.

 

[Chiasa Kritivaas]

Two days later, Golden Nautolan.

Speed, this was a concept she was well familiar with, but she needed it even more if she was to keep up with the force users of the galaxy. She sat downstairs in the common area, back against a wall as she watched patrons, Ravens and supplicants come and go.

She was wary of this power. It was a needful one for sure, but what if your heart only had so many beats? Your lungs only so many breaths? Force Speed seemed rather like a Death stick, euphoric and taking chunks off your life with each hit. Still, if she couldn't keep up she'd never have to worry about old age anyway.

With calm even breaths, not meditating, that was for twits, the Twi'lek turned her attention inward. Focused on internal rhythms, on how everything felt, the ebbs and flows, contractions and expansions.

She kept up this awareness until she could manage it for half an hour without her concentration being broken by all the myriad things going on around her.

 

[Chiasa Kritivaas]

Now.

Now while she held precisely how her body felt and functioned in her mind, speed it up, all of it at once, to the same degree. Keep the rhythms even and steady, just faster.

At first she thought she had it. She could feel the Force flowing through her, could feel everything picking up. It even seemed as if those around her might be moving just a litte bit slower, sounds were slightly distorted, and then in her fierce rush of victory she lost it. She lost the balance. The easiest thing to track, the easiest thing to effect, her heart started to go faster than everything else. As equilibrium was lost, the Twi'lek panicked slightly, and it got worse.

A squeezing feeling in her chest, shortness of breath. Oh gods, was this a heart attack? Was she going to wind up killing her own damn self trying to train so she wouldn't die? She appreciated the irony even as she fought to fill her lungs and slow her racing heart.

"Ma'am?"

Ah, Declan. Good to know her life monitors were still working.

"I need."

She articulated clearly, if somewhat faster than usual.

"For you to knock me out."

"Ma-"

"Now!"

Gritted teeth, heart was racing, speeding up rather than slowing down, how much more could it take it would surely explode soon. A large first from the heavy-browed humanoid connected with temple. As reluctant and unhappy with it as he was, Declan knew better than to argue. As the Twi'lek crumpled, he gathered her up and moved for the medical room, flanked by a team of the Casinos droids.

 

[Chiasa Kritivaas]

Roughly half an hour later.

"Nether be damned.."

The Twi'lek snarled groggily dragging herself up through the darkness to the bright lights of the medical room, the best doctor the casino had on staff and Declans worried face.

"What the hell was that? An attack of some kind?"

Declan immediately demanded.

"I did say, it was a heart attack by all the signs, I still don't know why you had to hit her."

"I told you."

"I did it myself, and if he hadn't I'd likely be dead. He did, I'm fine, that's that."

"Not precisely fine I'm afraid Madame President. Some permanent damage was done to your heart I'm afraid."

"What."

"You've damaged one of the valves I'm afraid. We could put in a prosthetic if you like."

"What."

 

[Chiasa Kritivaas]

"I'll schedule the surgery."

"You'll do no such damned thing. I need.."

She paused to consider this. Everything was an opportunity. Everything.

"I need the image of my heart, and an image of a healthy heart."

"I can't imagine what-"

"I don't pay you to imagine. Do it."

He moved away in a snit.

"Do I want to know?"

"Likely not."

She answered with a tired smile.

"Did I.. Did I make it worse?"

"No, I most likely would have died if you had disobeyed. Now, do not look so grim. Even if I can't handle it myself, there are prosthetics, or we can more than afford to have a new heart grown."

"Those things take time and have their own risks.."

"Everything has risks. You know this."

"Yes Ma'am."

A nurse came back, carrying 3-D clips of both her heart and a healthy heart. She studied the differences. Studied the images. Had to understand it exactly. Or perhaps didn't need to, but felt better about what she was going to attempt if she did.

 

[Chiasa Kritivaas]

Attention inward once more. Remember how she'd worked out they way things out to feel before. Remember the image of the healthy heart. Look, feel, sense. There, there was the difference. There was the weakness. There was the damage.

How to deal with it?

She zoomed in closer. Feeling the difference between the healthy tissue and the damaged. What is she just.. encouraged it to be like the rest around it? Gave it blood and strength? Sped up the healing process, rearranged what was not quite where it ought to be? To hell with it, she did not need to understand the damned process. She was a criminal not a doctor. The force wasn't science.

This felt right.

This felt wrong.

Make the wrong feel right.

She opened her eyes. She was covered in a cold sweat and was both exhausted and starving. Declan was asleep in the chair beside her bed. Her tired eyes moved to the chrono on the wall. That couldn't be right. Six hours? She would worry about it later, for now she was so tired.. She just wanted to close her eyes, just for a little while...

 

[Chiasa Kritivaas]

"Impossible! This can't be right!"

"I was sleeping."

The Twi'lek commented mildly, eyes still closed. In an instant however they were open and she was awake.

"What precisely is the problem?"

"That fact that there isn't one Ma'am."

"The scan must have been wrong. I need to do more tests, I-"

"No. The scan was correct."

"That is impossible!"

"Get used to it, I intend to continue doing the impossible."

The Twi'lek rose, as soon as her feet hit the floor she was up and moving to her personal suites. She needed a shower. And food. She was still ravenous. It felt like she'd not eaten in a week.

 

[Chiasa Kritivaas]

The next day and several meals later.

"You're ready?"

"Yes Ma'am."

Ready but not happy. Being punched in the head by the large humanoid had been less than enjoyable, and if Declan hadn't reacted as quickly as he had, if it had been someone else, she might have been dead. So she'd given him a stun pistol and had him stay with her while she worked on speed again. This time in an empty space sometimes used for concerts or sporting events within the Golden Nautolan, a large chrono on the wall.

Attention inward. Settle. Find the rhythm. Hold it in your mind. The way everything worked together. Now speed it up. Just a little. Good. Holding steady? Check the chrono. The numbers were ticking still, but the seconds were going by slowly.. Good. Not slow enough though. More. Speed things up more. The seconds were going by much slower now. One second taking what felt like ten.

Use it. She rose from the chair she'd been sitting in. Declan, seated in a chair across from her, raised his head to track her, slowly, so slowly. She moved, walking around the room. The resistance was different. The air felt heavier.