Star Wars Roleplay: Chaos

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Kyra's Bizarre Adventure

Kana and her dumb tongue. She bit down on the urge to let her eyes be thrown wide in surprise at what the girl had just counted as 'things.' Part of Kana had to admit she expected it to be a 'what', and that the what were literal monsters, not figurative ones. Trandoshan slavers were scum, Kana had taken out more than a few slavers in her time, but she also had a good thirty years or so on this kid.

"Well, good." Kana said and turned serious. "Slavers are a blight upon the galaxy, they create pain and suffering where they go. But there are several things about what you said that we need to discuss."

It was true, the first one was...

"You are never not strong enough, Kyra." Kana said and broke protocol by placing her hand on the girl's shoulder again. "Painful as it is, part of the Jedi way is to sacrifice. It doesn't make our cause more righteous, or important, but it does mean that we need to be willing to lay our lives down for something greater than ourselves should the situation demand it. Now, you were faced with a very bad situation, okay? And I don't blame or judge you for what you did, but it does come with... A need for understanding, contemplation, and learning."

Kana could recognize this fear, it was something she felt fairly certain most Padawans went through at one point or the other. It was the sense of knowing that you could die despite the wish not to. Few people wanted to die, and in reality maybe it was more of something Kana had come to embrace in her older days. She had served a purpose, one that was grander than the one she had now. In many ways she felt done with her lot, made her peace.

Kyra was still young though, it wasn't right to ask her to get herself killed for a cause like this. At least not in Kana's mind. The general being-a-Jedi community most likely disagreed with her however. They usually did when she voiced her opinion on the matter. Apparently wars couldn't be won by the old guard exclusively.

"Do you meditate a lot, kid?" Kana finally said and withdrew her hand from Kyra's shoulder. "I didn't when I was your age, but well... With age come wisdom or some delusion of such."

"So, well, do you?"
 
Kyra crinkled her nose.

"I'm not very good at it... or anything really. Imakeasuckyjedi..." She confessed, looking away in shame. Once more, insecurities and long held secrets bled out of her for the woman. Kyra was never good at holding things in, and Kana felt neutral and safe to bled her heart out to.

Her shoulders fell as the warm hand laid down on them.

The girl bit back a wave of tears, feeling very defeated in that moment. "Look at me. I always get into such messes." A shamed look was tossed down to her feathered body. "I can't go back like this. I- I quit!" Came the rash decision. She swallowed hard and nodded vehemently, finding this solution to be the perfect one.

"Can you try to call my mom again? I wanna go home."
 
"Nah, that's not quitting. That's giving up." Kana said and shook her head. She refused the call to her mother. "You are better than that, even if you don't give yourself the credit for it."

Kana stood up and pushed the chair back and held her hand out towards Kyra as an invitation to follow along with the healer as if she had something to show.

"We have a laundry room, and there is a shower in the staff room. If you are okay with hiding out in patient scrubs for a little bit we can clean you right up and get you out of this situation." The healer kept her hand extended should the kid need it. Grease and all. "I get being insecure, I was incredibly insecure when I joined which makes me think you weren't entirely raised within the order. Just like I wasn't."

"I mean, would you really be happy with yourself if you quit now that things seemed to be at their most difficult? Is that what you want for yourself or the galaxy when you could do so much more?"
 
Kyra stared down at the ground.

"...No..." She admitted, her voice tight. She carefully lowered herself down from the table and once again found herself struck with how nice it was not to be withering in pain. She let out a long breath, a good amount of the tension she had been holding in melting away.

"How'dyoudoit?" She peered up at the blond curiously. "How did you... adjust? Everyone is so much better than me. And- and! I bet they could get wookies out of a ship without going all dark and stuff-- why can't I- Eek!" Her greased foot slipped out from under her. A tug of the force pulled on Kana, her body used as an anchor as Kyra caught herself with a force assisted hand up. Of course this meant instead of falling backwards, she fell into the force tugging at her.

Which meant she went splatting right into Kana's chest.

Grease and all.
 
Well, Kana was about to talk but she found herself in a greasy hug. Admittedly pretty disgusting, but these scrubs had already seen its fair share smears of blood and viscera from less simple procedures. Grease was almost a natural addition. Kana wrapped her hands around Kyra to get her back on her feet again and backed off to lead them both out of the room. The lawyers approached and Kana quickly raised her hand towards them with a swipe.

"You want to go back to the museum." She said.

"We want to go back to the museum." They both said.

"This no longer concerns you." Kana added.

"This no longer concerns us." They repeated.

The healer then gave the rest of her colleagues a grave nod. They knew that they needed to be quiet about this, and more than anything it meant that her time to leave had finally come. There was just a matter of getting some final preparations and what-not in order. The first of which would be a change of clothes, the second of which was collecting pay. Still, she had stayed here longer than she usually was in the one place.

"Right, here we are." Kana said as she led Kyra into the staff room. "The shower's over there, you go ahead. I'll get you something to change into."

"... Any particular color you'd prefer? We got green, and... Blue. I guess. Hospital standards usually lack that pop of regular clothes and all."
 
Kyra gaped at the back of the woman's head. "I thought you said you were a jedi."

If she could count the number of times she had gotten her wrist tapped at the academy for emotionally manipulating people... Before Kana had a moment to respond, a pep entered her step. Kyra scrambled to stick with her, chirping, "Can you teach me that?"

Think of all the possibilities.

'Kyra does not have to do saber practice today.'

'Kyra can go have ice cream.'

'Kyra can have my favorite green sweater.'

Yeah, there was probably a reason she didn't know the skill yet. She mindlessly grabbed at any which color was the closest, not wanting to dissuade Kana with a sudden picky moment.
 
“I am.” Kana had said in quick response to Kyra as they made their way out. “And, no. I haven’t had a Padawan for years now. I…”

It was a sensitive topic. In reality Kana had taken on several at one point, but only one of them had learned, only one of them had stayed. Or so Kana had thought. Seraphina had been the only student of hers that hadn’t disappeared or requested reassignment, either to other Masters or other Jedi groups. Seraphina was also a Dark Jedi now. Corrupted, twisted, something that to this day could still tear Kana down on a sunny day such as this. It was a sign towards her own failure as a teacher, and she took that one in strides.

Kana never finished what she began to say. Instead she let out a quiet chuckle and offered Kyra a weak smile before she left the room to get to her locker, get changed and then reappear dressed in something far more casual than the usual Jedi robes. All things considered, Kana could very well disappear into a crowd with her outfit. It did very little to make her stand out.

She held her hand out to grab the greased up robes and put them through a nearby washer.

“How’s Kashyyyk these days?” Kana asked and closed the lid to the machine and turned it on. “It’s been a while since I was there.”
 
Kyra waddled carefully into the shower. Somehow the grease had soaked into her shoes and made walking yet another adventure. It wasn't even summer and she feared she'd be on a slip and slide down the drain at the slightest mismovement. She sat down at the edge, leaving Kana her bare back as she scrubbed the bottom of her feet clean first.

"Uuuuuuh. You know. Facing imminent war with the sith empire. Slavers. Silver Rest under attack. The usual stuff." She shrugged, sticking her feet under the water and letting the soap carry the grime away.

"You went there?" She looked back in keen interest. "When? Did you know my mom?"
 
[member="Kyra Perl"]

Facing imminent war, the Sith being the ones doing it, slavers, the temple being under constant attack. Yeah, oddly enough it did seem like the usual stuff. It would seem that the cycle of death and destruction was one that would keep being iterated for as long as Kana’d be alive at the very least. With time, Kyra would end up in this cycle too. To a greater extent, she already had given the slavers she had murdered.

Kana took a seat facing away from Kyra, yet close enough for her to not have to shout. Professional courtesy, in all honesty she would have thought Kyra to be done but not everyone was a quick showerer. Apparently.

“Yes, I was there a little less than two decades ago when it was invaded.” Kana said and chuckled as she began to look over at the pleased hum of the laundry machine. “And no, I have not met your mother. I was in the Republic, we were quickly dwindling in numbers around the time of the Invasion of Kashyyyk. The war took a heavy toll on all of us, I guess.”

“I had hoped you and your generation of padawans would find yourself in a time of peace, a time to contemplate and learn from what my generation messed up.” Kana shook her head. “I guess that wasn’t really what the force had in mind.”

“Funny how that works, right?” She asked Kyra and turned just ever so slightly in the kid’s direction, still without looking. “Did you want to join the Jedi, or was that put on you? Why did you make that decision?”
 
"Two decades? Wow. You're old." She slid the shower curtain shut, standing to get at the rest of her body. But grease was a tricky thing, and the simple bath soap wasn't really designed to save a zeltron from an oil spill.

It took multiple rinse through to gets herself back to clean, and by the time she stepped out her pink tone was decidedly darker under the intense scrubbing that had occurred. "Actually, all my siblings went first. I'm the youngest. I was hoping to see them more..." It was pretty easy to guess that was not the case. She toweled herself down, wasting no time to slip into the provided shrug. "Now, I dunno." She shrugged. "What else am I suppose to do? -- Hey, are you gonna get in trouble for doing that hand wavy thing to the lawyers? My mom has better ones. You can use them if you want to."


She plopped herself carefully next to Kana, mobile but sore regardless.
 
Kana let out a snort-chuckle at the girl’s remark. Sure, she was probably old. At least in comparison to most noticeable Jedi. She wasn’t no Romi Jade, though the woman certainly reminded Kana of herself in younger days. It was the blonde locks, probably. And at least the kid didn’t have the same youngest sibling complex Kana had. Or perhaps the lack of it. That was always good.

“Live a life without religious wars, I suppose?” Kana said in response to what Kyra should do next and chuckled again. “Nah, those lawyers were here to scare you. And you’re kind to offer help, but this is why I move around so much. Call it an unwillingness to play by the rulebook, Jedi or otherwise.”

Which wasn’t to say that Kana was a thief, though she did have a murder on her record. That was at least on Coruscant, though that was stricken by the Alliance with time. She had done her time in a magma cell for it which — say what you will, but being in a cell enveloped by magma sort of had a way of clearing things up. Warm, much like the insides when you lived on your own anger and hate. Not a worthy way to live, or love.

Kana scooched over to give the kid more space as she sat down next to her.

“Found your niche in the order yet? In the force?” Kana asked and leaned back against one of the lockers to look up at the ceiling. This was by far one of the weirder locker room talks she ever had. Not because she hadn’t talked to kid but rather because of the introspective it offered. “You strike me as a good Guardian.”

“... You can certainly take a beating and keep at it.”
 
Kyra made a face and squirmed. "Well like I said-- I was angry. I can do all sorts of things when I'm angry, I guess..." And only recently had she begun to realize and understand the implications of that. She shrugged into the air, possessing no answer. A part of her knew she wasn't on the best track as a padawan. She'd like to think she wasn't on a bad one, but she certainly wasn't shaping up to being a jedi in the making, either.

The solution to this thought felt a bit out of her control. How do you change who you are? How you react to things?

Maybe she was just bad.

Maybe she was just doomed to be a sith. Haha. Who was she kidding, sith could use a saber.

She shrugged again, wringing out her hands and focusing on the woman's emotions instead. "You sure you're not running from someone?" She probbed, digging her claws into a sensed sore spot in an attempt to change the topic. "Feels like you just dont wanna go back. Where is back?"
 
Kana’s eyes squinted, they practically closed entirely as Kyra tried to deflect the focus onto Kana. It was a good question, one that many others had asked her. Avalore, Gabriel, probably Jacen at some point. The entire circle on Sulon were the ones that seemed to pierce that question straight through her skin most of the time. Avalore Eden had her way like that which made things all the more difficult when Kana tried to escape domestic life. Because that was just it, in reality the answer to Kyra’s question was far simpler than any of the people asking the question would seem to think. Not that she would tell Kyra that much without a fight.

Her glance lingered on the girl. The force signature of Kana Truden disappeared in the aether and the surface thoughts and feelings on her mind especially so. It would leave Kyra with little more than the body language that the Master had, which for a few seconds gave away Kana’s displeasure at having the question asked before she sat up straight again with another smile. Kana leaned back against the locker and crossed her arms.

“I take that back.” She said and raised her brow. “With questions like that, you could very well be a Consular.”

She had spent 40 years deflecting questions about her personal history. She was at peace with it, but that didn’t mean she meant to go tearing up old wounds she had spent the majority of her time healing up. PTSD and general trauma, Kana had seen and experienced a great many things that could make ‘back’ a very difficult point to truly pin down.

In the end, that didn’t matter so much. She was where she was now, and that was all there was to it.

A healthy dose of apathy made the medicine go down.

“Where do you think that ‘back’ is?” Kana asked and watched the kid with a heavy dose of curiosity.
 
Kyra watched the flicker of emotions fade out of Kana, her gaze soft and keen as the woman closed down ... grew annoyed... and then recovered from it all with a change of topic to boot.

Ha. Like that'd work on her.

She let the woman ask her new question, her gaze unwavering as she gave Kana no response. It was only after a long moment, when Kana might be left to abruptly wonder if she had done something-- or perhaps if brain trauma and abruptly set in-- when Kyra finally responded.

She wrapped the woman is a hug, her arms snaking around Kana's sides. She'd embrace under the arms, over the arms. She didn't care. Where ever her arms could get in, they went around. And Kyra just pressed her face into the woman's shoulder and gave her a squeeze, her arms warm. Enveloping. Comforting as a gentle wave of pheromones drifted off of her.

"Not here," she guessed.
 
The silence meant to make her question what she said and what she did. It was a basic concept of emotional manipulation and Kana was not going to fall for it. She had been given plenty of reason to control her emotion once returned from the loose clutches of the Sith. In the end, that was how they’d gotten to her. The feeling of being lost, the imposed belief that the world and especially her friends conspired against her. It had fed upon emotion felt at the time when Kana did little more than brood and to a greater extent wallow in her own self-pity.

Then there was the hug. Not every hug was a sign of care, much like all other signs of affection one way or the other. It all related to the context, and in this one it was clear that either Kyra wanted to test Kana’s defenses or she simply didn’t want to look at her own problems and instead tried to get Kana to spill hers.

Forty-seven years had a way of offering insights into people’s minds. The pheromones made Kyra’s all the more evident.

“Kid, I’ve been to Zeltros. I know some of these tricks by close personal experience.” She said and snaked out of the hug to kneel down before the kid to place a hand on her shoulder. “Look, not everyone has a ‘back’ and not everyone is looking for ‘back’ either. Most of the time the ‘forward’ has much more in store.”

And that was the truth.

“Since you are curious. I was in the Jedi Order under the Republic, that was destroyed. I was in the Jedi Order under the Alliance, that too was destroyed. There is the Silver Jedi Order, yes, but they are mounting up for war against the Sith, same as every other Jedi Order has. I am out here because I have found no solid proof that says I need to be bound to an Order to be or do what I am and what I exercise.”

Kana seemed pretty confident in what she was saying. The past was a scarred wound that could have its small tears every now and then.

“Kyra, I am a healer. I don’t need to swear myself to a religious war to prove my faith in the Jedi way. I have seen so many moots come and go that lead nowhere in fixing this schism. At this point I’d rather just be out there, working with people that would rarely — if ever — meet us. What we should do is make people see who we are through interaction rather than stories of what it is that we have done.”

And for that part in a particular Kana seemed even more ardent in her belief.

“Do you know the indifference people hold towards whether or not you are a Sith or Jedi these days? In many ways it’s actually quite humbling. So don’t give me any of the lies that you can’t be a Jedi, much less anything else that you want to be. I once met an Arkanian girl on Monastery who was just about your age. She led an entire enclave of Jedi whilst she herself was unable to even touch the force. She did it because she had such a firm belief in what the Jedi as a belief advocated.”

The rant began to wind down as Kana let her smile come back once more.

“If she can do it, so can you. You just have to stop this cycle of telling yourself you can’t do anything, and stop comparing your own achievements to the achievements of others. Nobody has ever accomplished something without putting in the literal blood, sweat, and tears to make it a reality.”
 
Kyra blinked rapidly at Kana, stunned into a long, deep silence. "I..." She pulled away, unable to handle the skin to skin contact when so many heavy concepts had been thrown at her, demanding her immediately comprehension.

More rapid blinking pursued, and in the end only pieces of the rant were picked up and absorbed by the young zeltron. Finally, a response came to her, and it was an indignant one.

"I wasn't trying to trick you. I only wanted to make you feel better... you healed my body..." All she wanted was to heal her heart.

Her fingers enclosed over her own heart, crumbling at the cloth there to squish away the sensations she had absorbed from the scarred woman. Tears tugged at her tear ducts, genuine and overwhelmed. Was this what the force did to people?

The woman received a pair of big eyes, either to deflect the accusation of bad intentions, or just to express how the misjudgment of her hurt. Who's to say it wasn't both.

Spoiler, it totally was.
 
Ah crap, the tears. Kana froze for a second. She had never been good with the kids and the crying. Most of the time it was over nothing, and when it was over something it was about something Kana could do little about. The healer hesitated for a second before she wrapped the hurt kid in a awkward, uncertain hug with an equally awkward pat on her back.

“I… Appreciate that.” Mumbled the healer. “But that kind of thing is not something anyone else can fix other than me.”

Wasn’t that the painful truth? Kana separated and gave the kid a determined look.

“Look, I am very used to having to look out for myself and check over my shoulders to ensure I am not followed. Paranoia just comes naturally at this point.” She said and kept her hand on the kid’s shoulder, that usually worked when they were sad. “Most of the time I’m not, beyond maybe some creep thinking too highly of himself, but the few times that I have been right it would have been incredibly dangerous if I hadn’t.”

That wasn’t much of an excuse but a truth none the less.

“Look, uh…” She seemed at a loss for words. “We, uh-”

The laundry machine dinged. It was done. Kana took the moment to stand up and walk over and get the now grease-free, feather-free clothes out of it.

“Here.” She said and handed the items back to Kyra. “And, uh, since you were interested I could probably tell you about life on the go. If that should ever interest you. Or, you know, the life of a healer. If that interests you too.”

“But first you need to get changed so that we can both leave this place.”
 
Kyra shuddered and squirmed under Kana's touch, goosebumps forming over her skin.

No touchie the empath!

She seemed to calm down once Kana's attempts to sooth her no longer involved touching her. Some people simply were too much for her to handle. She made a face, feeling frazzled as Kana went to retrieve her clothing. She clasped the warm cotton to her chest, the heat sufficing her and helping her reground herself.

"You're taking me with you, right?" No doubt the master that had been in charge of the group was awaiting a call to inform them Kyra was released, but no such call would be delivered if she left with Kana. Which is exactly the way Kyra wanted things right now.

She still wasn't sold on going back yet.

She changed in place, moving as quick as her body would allow least the woman decide to leave without her after all. Paddie training wasn't as half as interesting as her, and kyra was more than aware that she could turn people off sometimes. "Where you going? Do you gotta pack? Can you fly? I took a lesson once, I can fly for you." She shoved her feet into her shoes and jumped off the seat, only wincing a little.

Oweoweowe.
 
Kana turned let the kid get dressed with as much privacy as one could grant before she turned back towards the kid again. She wanted to come with and perhaps Kana owed her that much given the shake-up. Not that she would take this kid under her wing or really teach her anything about the force. Sometimes a good talk was all you needed and some healthy pointers towards ‘okay.’ Kyra seemed to need all the pointers that she could get right now.

Kyra certainly seemed excited to run away from all this.

“Slow down there, kid.” Kana said and held her hand before her as if to stop Kyra from going all too crazy. “First off, I am an excellent pilot and I like flying.” The master flashed a grin that quickly changed into concern. “Second, be careful. That heal-up needs a dose of bacta within a few hours to round off the rest of the treatment.”

The healer brought Kyra out towards the reception area and asked her to stay put for a second as Kana did the rest of the paperwork. It was meticulous but something people generally wanted in more developed areas such as this. Had this been the outer rim nobody would have batted an eye at a doctor leaving with a patient for a walk. There was a time and place for paperwork, but given that the patient would be written out of the clinic at the end there was just no need to have her come back afterwards.

The form was filled out and the nurse pointed over at Kyra for a second before Kana looked over at her and then the nurse, and then the backroom. Right, there was a need to tell the SJO about this. Kana frowned for a second before she called out to Kyra.

“Just gonna wrap this up with whoever was in charge of your group, make them aware that you are coming with me.” Kana said and dodged out into the backroom with the comms console. She came back not too long afterwards and approached Kyra.

“Right, so about that walk…” Kana said and waited before she raised her arm towards the door for dramatic effect. “Should we go?”
 
But Kyra was gone.

Somethingsomething contacting her master spooked her out of her pants. The padawan had set off running, pained tears in her eyes as she pumped her legs down the obsolete road of the clinic. Her ribs. Ouch.

She didn't stop though, her wet hair slapping into her cheeks as she turned to make sure she hadn't been followed. For a moment, she seemed to be in the clear. Call it a head start.

Kyra skimmed her way into an alley, the rough concrete scrapping her hands as she pressed against it and wheezed for breath. Oh. Wow. She had done that. Her eyes were wide and her heart pumping.

She had run. Actually run. Again. ... Wait, shit. What came next?

She felt the thin rectangle of her mother's credit card weigh down in her pocket. She thanked her lucky stars for thinking of dragging it along, she nearly hadn't. She hadn't much need of it in the care of Silver Rest, but something in her gut had told her.... slip it in her pocket. Her hand cupped her pocket, her fingers tracing its length. Guess she knew why.

Trust in the force, came WelshPsych WelshPsych 's voice. Kyra snorted. Something told her this wasn't what he meant went when he coached her with that. Now she was a paddie on the run. Speaking of which. She looked both ways and took off, pushing deeper into the alley and spilling out into the street on the other side.
 
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