M E R C Y
Ziare Dyarron | Keilara Kala'myr | Mercy | Freedom | Anonymous
Mongrel's Shadow and his widow; Matriarch of the Scar Hounds Tribe; Guardian of Mongrel's armour and sword
Mongrel's Shadow and his widow; Matriarch of the Scar Hounds Tribe; Guardian of Mongrel's armour and sword
Location: Surface, Panatha
Equipment: FS-18-UP2 Assault Rifle | 2x Sunfury Pistol | Light Armour | Viper Mk. I Skinsuit | 2x Vibrodagger | 2x Riftblades | Promise of Freedom || Cloaking Device | 5x ASBF Probe Droid || OPBC-01m
Writing With: Tu'teggacha (and as Kallan) | Thomas Barran | Closed
Allies: Maw | Ronar | Erion Justeene | Open
Enemies: EE/AC/Empire | Esmeralda Io | Open
~ Mercy ~
Mentor, family? Find happiness? He had no right to ask that of me! Neither had Asher! Asher realised at the last moment that this would never happen; I can't live a happier life without him, never. I will never be able to live the life he wanted because I loved him more than anything. How could anyone expect me to be happy again? Without the other half of my soul? When the meaning of my life and the other half of my soul was dead? The only person I could call my family, who made life worth living for. As much as I wanted to hate Asher, because he never asked for my opinion for what I wanted, I couldn't be mad at him. I completely accepted him with his faults.
But I could be angry with Barran; I didn't love him. Will never have room in my heart or soul for another person. I didn't know what family was. I didn't have a family, only Asher, but not outside of him, and with him… it was pretty out of the ordinary. I always had to hide our relationship, sneak into his sanctuary to be with him. I went in the evening, I was with him at night and at dawn I sneaked back to my own apartment, for many years. All I knew was provided by the other world, the alternate reality. But I didn't let anyone near me there either outside of him.
~ I won't leave you alone, Thomas, I won't leave forever. I am coming back. Not to mention that you can call me anytime. I'm not going to die, I'm just going on maternity leave. As women are used to in normal civilised societies. I haven't reached the end of my revenge yet. And you have no right to ask me to find a happier life. Even Asher accepted and realised in his final moments that it was not possible! ~ I told him.
I had to pause for a moment and sit down; my back hurt. I didn't like this in pregnancy, I didn't like it in the alternative life either. I felt like a barrel that could only be moved by rolling. Everything hurt, my feet were wet, I was constantly hungry. In that life, I was waiting for it to end, just as I am waiting now.
~ Family…? Thomas… ~ my voice trailed off when we got to the family part. ~ Why? ~
I couldn't "say" or ask any more. Meanwhile, I also watched the data, I didn't really want to think about it. I didn't understand why or how; after all, I wanted to kill him... it's true that Asher and I also wanted to kill each other. And how can I be his mentor? Barran was the same age as Asher, in extreme cases I would have been his daughter, let alone his mentor. About the family, what did he think about me? His daughter? A niece or a sister? I don't know if I wanted to know. Fortunately, the incoming data saved me from my own thoughts.
<< Sir! Not a local report, but data has been received that Maw forces have crossed over to the Bakuran Hypergate and north to the planet Evaar'la Yaim. >>
~ Keilara ~
After showing the memories and pictures, I just had to wait for him to watch them and feel them. I didn't know how long it would last since it was from the sixty long years. Of course, there was still not everything, only small things. I didn't have all the memories of that life. It was Mercy who had all the memories of each personality. I think I was luckier. I remembered Ziare's memories as she was much closer to me in personality than Mercy ever was. There were only flashes from her, as was from Freedom's.
It's a bit complicated. While I was one with her, I had her memories, but when I was separated from her again, I forgot these. As if they were never mine. I don't really know how to say it, only flashes and feelings remain. If necessary, I was able to access her memories, but I did not do this often. Even though we were once one, I didn't want to search through her memories, I didn't want to be an intruder in her life. Those were hers, not mine.
I thought about these things while Kallan tried to process what I showed him. I watched him, smiling the whole time. When he finally agreed, I gave him a sincere and relieved smile. It won't be as drastic as it was with Asher and Mercy. Neither of us were dying, but we were fine. As far as I felt and remembered, this process would happen by itself, we just had to start it. That's when Asher started, because he couldn't talk anymore, he could only share thoughts and Mercy's mind reacted to that.
~ Just we and them. I know, this will help us understand Mercy's condition better, maybe it will help us to help her. I do not know. I try to stay optimistic. ~ I told him.
I looked at him kindly and encouragingly; I was happy, I was glad that he finally agreed to this.
~ Yes, I also think that this would be the result in our case, and that's why I want it. I'm not really good with words and I can't really say how I feel, but I want you to know that too. To know what you mean to me. ~ I said as I blushed. ~ I'm ready too, I'm going to start like Asher did, with feelings and pictures, no words. Try not to resist, just try to accept and embrace it. ~ I even smiled at the end. ~ I love you, Kallan! ~ I breathed.
After that I started, reaching out with my mind and soul towards Kallan's mind and soul. I did as we had done countless times before, as our consciousness and we, our souls were connected anyway. Only now I tried to make this bond even deeper, even tighter. So that both my soul and my mind fit as best as possible around him, so that they touch as best as possible. It will also depend on Kallan how much he accepts whether the blending can happen.
First I shared my thoughts with him, feelings, how I feel about him, what I feel when he is near me, when we talk, when he touches me. How I feel about him, that I would do anything for him, that only with him do I feel complete, how much he completes my life. What kind of life I want with him, thoughts, feelings, that I still haven't given up on the fact that one day we will walk on that meadow, hand in hand, in reality. If he accepted these, then my memories followed.
Among them, there were many things that were not nice, the way they treated us, a lot of torture, a lot of cruelty. Ironically, Maw was our salvation, as it was how he met Mercy Asher, and through her I met Kallan, with whom my life could begin. I am infinitely grateful to him and I would do anything for him. If he accepts these and everything else, then he could see and feel all my feelings, thoughts, memories, plans. I had no secrets from him. In this one, I thought and felt the same as Mercy and Asher, I was completely his, in every way.
While we shared these feelings and memories, in the mind palace I pulled myself closer to him, hugged him and rested my head on his shoulder. Now I didn't have to say anything, he already knew and felt exactly how I felt about him, how I loved him...
~ I am all yours… ~