Failure Is Not Fatal
"Stop. Stop now."
There wasn't a hint of the smile he had worn before. Not even a little.
"Let the stones down."
There wasn't a hint of the smile he had worn before. Not even a little.
"Let the stones down."
Star Wars Roleplay: Chaos
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Private Light Fingers
- Thread starter Jacen Voidstalker
- Start date
A jolt of shock rippled through her, dashing her frustration and sending the rocks falling down in a clatter.
Serya's chest heaved, her eyes wild as she looked around at the quivering stone on the ground. Her attention slowly tore back to his expression, her nostrils flaring in confusion over his sudden anger.
She leaned backwards, weight on her hands as if to support her in a sudden jolt away.
What? What had she done wrong?
The tense gaze held between the two, silence lingering that the child would not break. A single move towards her would earn a flinch back.
Serya's chest heaved, her eyes wild as she looked around at the quivering stone on the ground. Her attention slowly tore back to his expression, her nostrils flaring in confusion over his sudden anger.
She leaned backwards, weight on her hands as if to support her in a sudden jolt away.
What? What had she done wrong?
The tense gaze held between the two, silence lingering that the child would not break. A single move towards her would earn a flinch back.
Failure Is Not Fatal
"There are two paths one can go down," Jacen said. There was no anger in his voice at all. There was none of the friendly, almost jovial tone from before.
"When you use your emotions: anger or frustration for example, you start to slide down one of those paths. The dark side. With the light you can earn respect. The dark side is all about taking. Its channelling your emotion into raw power. It is easy. It is corrupting."
A brief pause. Jacen drew in a long breath through his nose and turned his gaze away.
"I'm sorry I raised my voice. I don't want to fail you and send you down that path."
"When you use your emotions: anger or frustration for example, you start to slide down one of those paths. The dark side. With the light you can earn respect. The dark side is all about taking. Its channelling your emotion into raw power. It is easy. It is corrupting."
A brief pause. Jacen drew in a long breath through his nose and turned his gaze away.
"I'm sorry I raised my voice. I don't want to fail you and send you down that path."
Serya's chest rose and fell in puffs, his reaction unexpected. She didn't have context to understand what one side was over the other, but his response and their... black and white titles were enough to draw a line in the sand she could see. ... If just not understand yet.
She pulled herself back an inch, her legs coming up to her chest as the tension slowly left the air.
"That's what you're worried about with me," she stated, her voice level. She wasn't offended, as she had been at breakfast, just more reserved. She felt like she continuously lacked data to form a response with. Like she was walking on eggshells. She bit her lip, looking away.
"And that's why you're here," she stated again, slowly connecting dots that would be more obvious to him. He had said most of this before, but the degree of info had gone over her head. A real life example brought some of it to a more grounding light.
"Because you've seen me do this... dark side. And that is... bad?"
She pulled herself back an inch, her legs coming up to her chest as the tension slowly left the air.
"That's what you're worried about with me," she stated, her voice level. She wasn't offended, as she had been at breakfast, just more reserved. She felt like she continuously lacked data to form a response with. Like she was walking on eggshells. She bit her lip, looking away.
"And that's why you're here," she stated again, slowly connecting dots that would be more obvious to him. He had said most of this before, but the degree of info had gone over her head. A real life example brought some of it to a more grounding light.
"Because you've seen me do this... dark side. And that is... bad?"
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Failure Is Not Fatal
"You didn't really get deep into calling on it just then," he said, deciding it was important not to frighten the life out of the girl.
"But you must have felt yourself channeling your frustration into the Force, to bind it to your whims. It's addictive. In same cases it literally withers the body and yet they keep doing it because it's better than any drug."
Jacen shuffled from side to side. He looked more human, more fallible than he had since she had met him.
"I didn't just do this out of a place of fear either. But I was worried that you could do terrible things if left unchecked. The world hasn't been kind to you."
"But you must have felt yourself channeling your frustration into the Force, to bind it to your whims. It's addictive. In same cases it literally withers the body and yet they keep doing it because it's better than any drug."
Jacen shuffled from side to side. He looked more human, more fallible than he had since she had met him.
"I didn't just do this out of a place of fear either. But I was worried that you could do terrible things if left unchecked. The world hasn't been kind to you."
He expected the worst of her. Maybe that was not what he meant, but it was what she heard. It made her shoulders round in, his words of a possible future resonating more like an inescapable reality to the teen. She had not yet shaken the mindset that adults's words were some kind of uniformed law.
The concept that his perception was just a collection of thoughts and he was fallible did not dawn on her.
He said he felt she could do terrible things. That trickled down, secretly seeping into her own mental landscape and leaving her to expect the same. The minds of children were vulnerable places.
Her throat tightened, emotion building in the form of a bump. She had already put his offer at risk. "I'm sorry," she uttered, wrapping her fingers around the grass. "I didn't- I don't know how--" It was just second nature to her. She tossed out the apology regardless, not willing to risk the offer to learn more.
"I won't do it again." What did that even look like? It was a promise she didn't even know how to keep.
The concept that his perception was just a collection of thoughts and he was fallible did not dawn on her.
He said he felt she could do terrible things. That trickled down, secretly seeping into her own mental landscape and leaving her to expect the same. The minds of children were vulnerable places.
Her throat tightened, emotion building in the form of a bump. She had already put his offer at risk. "I'm sorry," she uttered, wrapping her fingers around the grass. "I didn't- I don't know how--" It was just second nature to her. She tossed out the apology regardless, not willing to risk the offer to learn more.
"I won't do it again." What did that even look like? It was a promise she didn't even know how to keep.
Failure Is Not Fatal
"You can't promise that," Jacen replied. "Just...promise you'll try and recognise when you might be straying that way alright?" he said. Jacen wasn't really looking for another answer.
He drew in a deep breath and steadied himself. Giving great speaches around the dangers of emotion as he let his own history and feelings cloud just judgement now. She hadn't deserved that sharp warning. It could have sent her running for the alleys and he might never have known the damage she caused.
"You want to continue or get a caf and a pastry?" he offered. "You probably don't drink caf at your age. Something to drink and something sweet anyway."
He drew in a deep breath and steadied himself. Giving great speaches around the dangers of emotion as he let his own history and feelings cloud just judgement now. She hadn't deserved that sharp warning. It could have sent her running for the alleys and he might never have known the damage she caused.
"You want to continue or get a caf and a pastry?" he offered. "You probably don't drink caf at your age. Something to drink and something sweet anyway."
His words were sobering, the girl once again lost behind a set of emotional doors she closed firmly to him. She didn't want to be bad. What person did? He wanted her to show him the force to prove she could be teachable as his student, but the only display she had done had frightened him further.
Was she some kind of monster?
She gave him an odd look as he offered the break. Getting to know each other would take some time. "You eat a lot," she stated, her stomach still bulging from the morning's feast.
She unwrapped her arms from around herself, unwilling to mope while she still had the chance to meet his expectations. "Again. Though... I don't understand how to make it move once I reach it? If I'm not suppose to want it to happen then...."
She didn't see the disconnect between willing it with her mind versus emotions alone. She had done it, just along the wrong vein.
Was she some kind of monster?
She gave him an odd look as he offered the break. Getting to know each other would take some time. "You eat a lot," she stated, her stomach still bulging from the morning's feast.
She unwrapped her arms from around herself, unwilling to mope while she still had the chance to meet his expectations. "Again. Though... I don't understand how to make it move once I reach it? If I'm not suppose to want it to happen then...."
She didn't see the disconnect between willing it with her mind versus emotions alone. She had done it, just along the wrong vein.
Failure Is Not Fatal
"I think my need was more in the caf to keep me going than the snack," he mused. His light sense of humour couldn't be suppressed for long.
"How to describe it..." Jacen mused. He drummed his fingers against his thigh as he tried to think of a way to convey it.
"When you channel your emotions you're almost dragging the Force into your bidding. It's like a command. A direct link between your feelings for a need and it happening. Put aside your feelings for the moment. Focus on the rock, on the details. Listen to the Force and in turn it will listen back. Was that helpful or just gibberish? "
"How to describe it..." Jacen mused. He drummed his fingers against his thigh as he tried to think of a way to convey it.
"When you channel your emotions you're almost dragging the Force into your bidding. It's like a command. A direct link between your feelings for a need and it happening. Put aside your feelings for the moment. Focus on the rock, on the details. Listen to the Force and in turn it will listen back. Was that helpful or just gibberish? "
Serya's brows furrowed, her attention narrowing on the rock as she tried hard to listen and absorb. He had her up until he mentioned the force, the tenuous path to understanding slipping right back away.
"Both?" She huffed, her attention not leaving the rocks as she dismissed the confusing part and focused on what she understood. Put aside feelings. Connect to rock. Command.
She raised a hand, feeling the tendrils of the brick as it as it laid a foot from where she sat. She turned into its mood. The warming sun, the exposure to wind, rain, voices... she could feel it from where she sat, the lack of touch not hindering her as she tried to let its full sense of being enter her mind.
And then she ordered it into the air.
"Up."
It zipped up, disappearing into the air. She starred upwards, lips parting, eyes straining to see against the backdrop of the sun. Five seconds later it thunked back down, rebounding into the grass between them.
"Both?" She huffed, her attention not leaving the rocks as she dismissed the confusing part and focused on what she understood. Put aside feelings. Connect to rock. Command.
She raised a hand, feeling the tendrils of the brick as it as it laid a foot from where she sat. She turned into its mood. The warming sun, the exposure to wind, rain, voices... she could feel it from where she sat, the lack of touch not hindering her as she tried to let its full sense of being enter her mind.
And then she ordered it into the air.
"Up."
It zipped up, disappearing into the air. She starred upwards, lips parting, eyes straining to see against the backdrop of the sun. Five seconds later it thunked back down, rebounding into the grass between them.
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Failure Is Not Fatal
Jacen's hand snatched out, catching it as it rebounded from the ground. It took a sizable chunk out of the turf. Jacen did not catch that. The dry soil was scattered across his lap.
"Well that worked," he said, grinning. He turned the little chunk of brick over in his hand.
"Here," he said, passing it to her. "How does it feel in your hand compared to through the Force?"
It seemed an innocuous question and the psychometry was bound to interfere. However, he wanted her to try that connection in her mind between the physical world and how it felt through the Force.
The Force was far greater than that, but simple powers like telekensis required that link to be drawn.
"Well that worked," he said, grinning. He turned the little chunk of brick over in his hand.
"Here," he said, passing it to her. "How does it feel in your hand compared to through the Force?"
It seemed an innocuous question and the psychometry was bound to interfere. However, he wanted her to try that connection in her mind between the physical world and how it felt through the Force.
The Force was far greater than that, but simple powers like telekensis required that link to be drawn.
She mirrored his grin, a bit of excitement sparking at the visual success. She had never done that before, not intentionally at least. She reached out her hand, eager to give the next step a try and see what she could feel.
"I um, you mean like how it feels now? Clearer. Like." Her eyes flickered to and fro, orange orbs unseeing as more defined images came to mind. It was like flexing a muscle, or riding a bike. She often didn't think to try and use her 'psychometry', if that was even what it was called. She really didn't see its use. But once he had her tapping into its vein and using it as a conduit to the force around her, her heritage came shining through.
"Energized. This was from a bakery." She told him, confidence to her grin as she held it back out to him to verify himself. "It was, right?"
"I um, you mean like how it feels now? Clearer. Like." Her eyes flickered to and fro, orange orbs unseeing as more defined images came to mind. It was like flexing a muscle, or riding a bike. She often didn't think to try and use her 'psychometry', if that was even what it was called. She really didn't see its use. But once he had her tapping into its vein and using it as a conduit to the force around her, her heritage came shining through.
"Energized. This was from a bakery." She told him, confidence to her grin as she held it back out to him to verify himself. "It was, right?"
Failure Is Not Fatal
"I can't do that," Jacen admitted. He took the piece of brick anyway.
"Quite a rare talent. I can see glimpses of the future sometimes. I can see places I will, or could end up. Visions of the distant future are normally vague, more feelings that truly sering anything. The immediate future can come through very clear. Not the past though. "
He opened up his palm and the little chunk that had been a brick floated over it. It slowly spun around its axis.
"You have to find something through the Force before you can do things to it. A jedi can walk in complete darkness without needing their eyes at all."
"Is there anything else you know you can do?"
"Quite a rare talent. I can see glimpses of the future sometimes. I can see places I will, or could end up. Visions of the distant future are normally vague, more feelings that truly sering anything. The immediate future can come through very clear. Not the past though. "
He opened up his palm and the little chunk that had been a brick floated over it. It slowly spun around its axis.
"You have to find something through the Force before you can do things to it. A jedi can walk in complete darkness without needing their eyes at all."
"Is there anything else you know you can do?"
Still all gibberish. She didn't waste time with questions of her own, she was sure, now that she had proven herself, there would time for that later. "I...honestly thought anyone could do this," she admitted, a bit of sheepiness to her words. Still, she wanted to please this stranger that sat before her-- offering her kindness and meals and encouraging words.
She visibly searched for an answer, not wanting to leave him with nothing to work with. He'd make a willing pupil out of her yet.
"I... can hold my breath for a long time? ...Fall asleep anywhere? Oh, one time I guess a lock's passcode first try! That's the force, right?"
She visibly searched for an answer, not wanting to leave him with nothing to work with. He'd make a willing pupil out of her yet.
"I... can hold my breath for a long time? ...Fall asleep anywhere? Oh, one time I guess a lock's passcode first try! That's the force, right?"
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Failure Is Not Fatal
"That could be," Jacen said. "You know when you're about to go around a corner and you stop right before it and it turns out you would have walked into someone? That's the Force. Just little nudges that guide you."
Jacen rocked back, brushing loose soil from his trousers. She was curious now. That was a good thing. He'd given her all the warnings and probably been too harsh on rambling about the dark side. She still wanted to know more.
If he was going to teach her then she needed to want to learn. Wanting to keep off the streets by humouring him wouldn't do. That thought hadn't occurred to him earlier in the day. Getting old fast and still making mistakes. He had made so many that he'd just survived. Should have been the font of all wisdom by now.
"I'm not sure everyone can learn to use it. A lot of people go by without feeling it at all. For some it's just that little noise at the back of the head. If you can use it without ever being shown how...you can probably do a lot wlthbit"
Jacen rocked back, brushing loose soil from his trousers. She was curious now. That was a good thing. He'd given her all the warnings and probably been too harsh on rambling about the dark side. She still wanted to know more.
If he was going to teach her then she needed to want to learn. Wanting to keep off the streets by humouring him wouldn't do. That thought hadn't occurred to him earlier in the day. Getting old fast and still making mistakes. He had made so many that he'd just survived. Should have been the font of all wisdom by now.
"I'm not sure everyone can learn to use it. A lot of people go by without feeling it at all. For some it's just that little noise at the back of the head. If you can use it without ever being shown how...you can probably do a lot wlthbit"
"That's good then, right?" She asked a bit quickly, growing more engaged the more she understood. "It's real. And if I just be good, then you'll keep on-- you'll keep on doing this," she finished off lamely, summarizing their morning exchange in one sentence. She really did have the force. She needed to behave.
He would help her off the streets.
While she was there for the security he brought her, it was intrinsically tied to the lessons he wanted for her. He would be giving her a hand now, but Serya had no interest in eating from him palm for longer than she ever needed to. In that, she was unlike her peers. She would take her independence and run.
"I want to learn it all. Everything you can show me." She leaned in, eyes set with determination. "So what's next?"
He would help her off the streets.
While she was there for the security he brought her, it was intrinsically tied to the lessons he wanted for her. He would be giving her a hand now, but Serya had no interest in eating from him palm for longer than she ever needed to. In that, she was unlike her peers. She would take her independence and run.
"I want to learn it all. Everything you can show me." She leaned in, eyes set with determination. "So what's next?"
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Failure Is Not Fatal
"Right..." he went, nodding.
It was Jacen agreeing to her terms. It was also him soaking on how eager she was to learn more right now. That caf had started to sound like a very good idea.
This much potential and this much desire to learn...it was going to be exhausting.
Jacen gave a small nod. Just as when he had been left guarding a city gate with ten sith bearing down, he squared up the the challenge and accepted it.
"If we focus on controlling stones its a good place. Mostly because I can see when it's going well. Try and just get one to float over your palm."
Sometimes it was best to give a problem and let the student work it out.
It was Jacen agreeing to her terms. It was also him soaking on how eager she was to learn more right now. That caf had started to sound like a very good idea.
This much potential and this much desire to learn...it was going to be exhausting.
Jacen gave a small nod. Just as when he had been left guarding a city gate with ten sith bearing down, he squared up the the challenge and accepted it.
"If we focus on controlling stones its a good place. Mostly because I can see when it's going well. Try and just get one to float over your palm."
Sometimes it was best to give a problem and let the student work it out.
"Same thing?" Serya echoed, picking up the brick and clutching it between her fingers. It was rough and porous, its surface easier for her to focus on now that she had a direction.
It looked as if she came to life in that moment, the last dregs of her wariness melting off as she took up his task without even looking at him twice. Every kindness he had given her had chipped away a bit of the street life façade. The shower, the bed, the food, the hope-- the small humanities restored her bit by bit, until he was left with nothing more than budding woman, still clinging to a girlish edge as she preened under his instruction.
When kindness came in scraps and bits, what child didn't strive for more?
Her brows narrowed on the rock, furrowing in lines of focus. The force surged. It shot up again, ten, twenty, fifty feet as she shoved everything she had into it.
She laughed, staring upwards, palm naively held out waiting for its return. "Like that?"
It looked as if she came to life in that moment, the last dregs of her wariness melting off as she took up his task without even looking at him twice. Every kindness he had given her had chipped away a bit of the street life façade. The shower, the bed, the food, the hope-- the small humanities restored her bit by bit, until he was left with nothing more than budding woman, still clinging to a girlish edge as she preened under his instruction.
When kindness came in scraps and bits, what child didn't strive for more?
Her brows narrowed on the rock, furrowing in lines of focus. The force surged. It shot up again, ten, twenty, fifty feet as she shoved everything she had into it.
She laughed, staring upwards, palm naively held out waiting for its return. "Like that?"
Failure Is Not Fatal
Alright they were getting somewhere. At least that thought lasted as long as it took for the stone to shoot up into the air.
"Oh," he went. He lost sight of the stone against the skyline, squinting as hard as he could. "Right...." he used that word a lot.
He reached out and wrapped the Force around the stone. It came back down slowly enough that it didn't dash either of their brains across the turf.
"I was thinking more like this," he said. He placed the brick in the palm of his hand and had it float just above it.
"Probably best we don't take out any low flying airspeeders..."
"Oh," he went. He lost sight of the stone against the skyline, squinting as hard as he could. "Right...." he used that word a lot.
He reached out and wrapped the Force around the stone. It came back down slowly enough that it didn't dash either of their brains across the turf.
"I was thinking more like this," he said. He placed the brick in the palm of his hand and had it float just above it.
"Probably best we don't take out any low flying airspeeders..."
Serya flushed, eye tight on the brick he managed to keep hovering over his palm. "Ah," she uttered back. She gingerly reached out and poked at the rock, the sight of it floating bringing a bit of awe to her features. Of all the things she had expected for herself this week, it wasn't a sudden dalliance with floating space magic.
She gave the rock a curious glance then tilted her head, focusing on it as an idea came to mind. "C'mere." The force around the rock surged, ripping it from his control and jumping it into her palm. She looked around once, eyes skimming the treelines of the park around them.
"Are you sure this is safe to be doing out here? What if those people find us both?" She murmured, frowning at the rock she tried to float instead of fly.
She gave the rock a curious glance then tilted her head, focusing on it as an idea came to mind. "C'mere." The force around the rock surged, ripping it from his control and jumping it into her palm. She looked around once, eyes skimming the treelines of the park around them.
"Are you sure this is safe to be doing out here? What if those people find us both?" She murmured, frowning at the rock she tried to float instead of fly.
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