Private Long Overdue

[Everest Vale]

The Archives were quieter than she expected.

Eve had always thought of them as a place of learning, movement, purpose; a sanctuary where knowledge was constantly being discovered, sifted through, and passed on. But now, as she stepped past the grand entrance, past the towering rows of carefully preserved texts and shimmering holocrons, the silence pressed against her ears. She wasn't sure why she came here.

Her steps were slow, almost uncertain, her boots barely making a sound against the polished floor. She had no particular goal, no research to conduct, no assignment to complete. In truth, she wasn't even sure she could focus on words right now, no matter how ancient or wise they were.

And yet, here she was.

Eve wandered between the shelves, fingers trailing absently along the spines of old manuscripts. Her mind was restless, filled with fragments of battles, echoes of voices, the sharp scent of smoke and blood that still hadn't quite left her memory. It felt wrong, somehow, to be here in this place of stillness, when her thoughts refused to be still.

She exhaled, drawing herself inward. Focus. Breathe.

She finally stopped before a small study alcove, where a handful of datapads lay stacked neatly beside an archive terminal. The chair beside it was empty. She hesitated for a moment before sinking into the seat, brushing her fingers over the cool surface of the desk. From habit more than intent, she tapped the terminal's search function. The soft blue glow flickered to life, awaiting her query. Her fingers hovered over the keys.

She could search for anything. Jedi history. Battle strategy. The teachings of those who had come before her. Something useful. Something to help her feel like she was moving forward, instead of being stuck in the space between. Instead, without thinking, she typed:

// How do Jedi live with the things they've seen? //
​

The words looked strange on the screen, out of place in a database filled with knowledge of lightsaber forms and galactic history. A stupid question. Maybe one with no answer. She sighed and deleted it. Instead, she searched for something quieter. Something that wouldn't remind her of war.

// The relationship between the Jedi and nature. //
​

The results flickered into view, and she let herself breathe. Maybe this was what she needed. Not strategies. Not doctrine. Just something simple, something that reminded her of who she was before everything changed.

Reina Daival​

 

[Reina Daival]

Location: Jedi Temple
Objective: Learn
Tags: Everest Vale
Lightsaber​

Life in the Jedi Temple had been...strange recently for Reina. She was sure that there were plenty of pitying looks given her way as she made her way through the Temple, using her harpoon to help her move through the corridors. Of course she was sure she'd probably had plenty of strange and confused looks as well. Why would she be struggling to walk through the corridors instead of getting a replacement for her leg? Well, in a strange way, she saw it as a punishment for herself. She had too much on her shoulders, was too arrogant and headstrong. With this, she could finally slow down. Try to take things one hop at a time instead of rushing head first.

Maybe now she could finally wrap her head around reading. It was a small journey there, using her harpoon to keep herself standing as she made her way to the Archives. Her harpoon echoing with every step as Reina hopped her way all the way into the archives, taking in the sights. Normally she'd dread the sight of all of the books, datapads and more manscruipts. But right now, she didn't really have a choice of something to do. Reading was better than staying couped inside of her dorm. Taking things one step at a time seemed at least...somewhat more relaxing than what she had expected. Even if it felt like she could be doing so much more right now.

As her eyes scanned through the archives, she came across a somewhat familiar head of hair. Well, that wasn't necessarily true. There were plenty of people with tufts of white hair in the Galaxy. Plenty of Echani, but not many of them were as familiar as this one. Mostly because Reina could remember the day she nearly slapped the owner across the face. She sighed to herself and went to work getting over towards Everest Vale . With the only sound of her movement being the tapping of the harpoon alongst the ground. For someone with only one leg at the moment, Reina was quite light on her foot.

"Hm...I'd say the Jedi have quite an intimate relationship with Nature. The Jedi are meant to represent the Light, correct? Life and Birth can be connected to Light."

Whilst Death could be connected to the Dark Side. Of course, Reina didn't say that out loud. That was a thought she didn't want to focus on right now as Reina tried to peer over Everest's shoulder.

 

[Everest Vale]

Eve gasped. Even with the gentle tapping of metal on polished marble, Eve had become engrossed with her search; any such attempt to distract herself. But when the voice came from behind her, she jumped, spinning around to see a face she hadn't seen in... a long time.

Jedha suddenly burned against her mind for all of a few seconds. Strange flashes of black and cold. It all seemed to pale in comparison to everything that followed. Yet that face, and that red hair, persisted in her memory, which all came flooding back to her in an instant. She stared at the woman for a moment, her mind trying to catch up. It was a face she had never expected to see again after that dark day.

"It's... you. Re... Reina?"

Her eyes worked down to where a leg ought to be, and her breath hitched. Her own silver eyes — now considerably darker and far removed from the doe-like sparkle they once gave — gazed into the harpooner's gentle citrine. There was something else in them now. She was different too, and the pain in Eve's own heart instantly recognised the pain in hers. Immediately she stood, swivelling her chair around for her.

"Please, sit," she offered in an instant. The girl was clearly struggling. Reaching for a second chair, she sat herself down beside her.

A strange silence brewed.

"It's been... a while..."

Reina Daival​

 

[Reina Daival]

Location: Jedi Temple
Objective: Learn
Tags: Everest Vale
Lightsaber​

"Last time I checked, the name I was given was Reina. You're right there."

Reina raised her eyebrows at the look in Everest's eyes. The sparkle and innocence that had used to annoy Reina when they had first met was gone. Replaced with a gaze that seemed to have less hope. There was a part of Reina that was...honestly disappointed to see that. By the Sea, what had happened to her? Missing the innocence gaze of someone? She couldn't help but break out into a small smirk at that, before watching Everest pull out a chair for Reina. That quickly wiped the smirk off her face as she frowned for a moment. It made sense but she could have pulled the chair out herself.

"It has been a long time. I could tell you the story...but it would cost you a leg...Maybe an arm. Eventually."

More attempts at humour as she sat herself down either way. Resting her harpoon across her lap as she let the silence fill the conversation for a moment. Normally she'd be impatient, want some kind of sound to fill the silence, instead of being left with her own thoughts but it was...nice. Just focusing on Everest as Reina's eyes took in the person in front of her, her brows furrowing in thought before she spoke up to break the silence.

"...You look different. Not bad. Not good. Just different."

 

[Everest Vale]

To Reina's quip, Eve smiled, but it didn't reach her eyes. She felt pain for the girl, in a way she wasn't quite sure how to comprehend, not to mention it reminded her uncomfortably of her own pain. The energy between them was strange, as if there was something unsettled, unresolved, between two people who didn't even know each other, yet had a painful bond, the wound of which had only grown through each of their own individual experiences.

"Mhm," she said awkwardly. She supposed she did look different. She hadn't had much time to think about it. But she knew that that little girl on Jedha was long dead and buried. It was mournful to think about it, but she hadn't afforded much time or energy to dwell on it anymore.

"You too... I mean..." She felt awkward, not intending to bring up the missing leg, but did mean aside from that.

What was she supposed to say now? She exhaled slowly.

"How... are things?"

Reina Daival​

 

[Reina Daival]

Location: Jedi Temple
Objective: Learn
Tags: Everest Vale
Lightsaber​

"I mean...I would say that missing a leg means I look the bad kind of different."

More attempts at humour. It was blunt. Not necessarily actually funny. Just...a way to keep herself talking. Reina knew this was out of her comfort zone. She wasn't good at leading conversations. But she needed to get better at that. Take more of a charge at things. It was also why she was trying to pay attention to Everest.

"...Things are good. Got a Lightsaber. Became a Jedi. Lost about...20 pounds. Got a spooky evil version of myself talking in my head. Y'know. The usual."

Reina tapped her fist against her head at that, keeping an awkward smirk on her face. It was probably an acquired sense of humour but it was good for Reina as well. Joking about it meant that she had accepted it. She had accepted that part of herself that had been driving her mental. It was hard not to, when you were stuck in a room with that voice for nearly 24/7.

"...How about you? You look like a Gundark has lifted you by the hair and swung you about."

 

[Everest Vale]

Reina had such a manner to her that Eve wasn't ever prepared for. It was just like on Jedha. She had a bluntness to her. It wasn't cold, at least, it didn't seem so now. But it was rough around the edges. But Eve knew nothing about the girl, neither then nor now. She didn't even expect to see her again after that day.

"I didn't even realise you joined the Order..."

An evil version of herself in her head. Strangely, Eve understood to a degree what she meant. Opening oneself up to the Force seemed to illuminate more than simply the bright aspects of oneself. She was still learning that lesson herself...

"Me..." Her voice didn't even hold an inquisitive tone it might usually, and instead held a certain solemnity to it. Yet, a part of her was concerned the girl would chastise her again for simply acting like that, just like on Jedha. Goodness, how long ago that truly seemed...

"I'm fine..."

Silence for a moment again.

"Actually no, I'm not really fine." She paused as she contemplated the weight of experience that pressed on her at all times. But this wasn't really the person to talk to about her woes.

"But it is fine, or it will be, whatever."

That didn't sound like her at all. She wasn't sure why she spoke in such a way to her. Something inside of her seemed to resist wanting to open up to this girl.

Reina Daival​

 

[Reina Daival]

Location: Jedi Temple
Objective: Learn
Tags: Everest Vale
Lightsaber​

Reina gave a dismissive wave of her hand as Everest said she didn't know that Reina had joined the Order. It was no surprise. They hadn't seen each other since Jedha.

"Yea'. Done plenty with the Order already y'know. Helped stop a storm on Woostri. Ended up losing my leg on...Onderon I think it was? But none of that's important. Y'know what is important? The truth. And the truth is..."

The woman hesitated for a moment. It was clear to her that Everest seemed to have some kind of weight on her shoulders. The same as Reina. But whereas Reina had chosen to respond with humour to alleviate the weight, it seemed like Everest was letting it build.

"You aren't fine. And it doesn't have to be fine."

She was blunt. Like always. Part of her hated the way she said that. It reminded her of how Serina had spoken to her. Of course, Serina had a way with words that Reina didn't. She could make any word sound as sweet as honey, no matter how venomous it might have been. Reina didn't have that skill. That way with her voice. Her eyes narrowed on Everest for a moment once more.

"Keeping things in, like I did isn't good. Moving so fast that you don't have time to think about how you're feeling? That...isn't good either. What is good is taking your time. Letting yourself...feel. I think at least. I'm new to "having feelings." You just...You need to be able to face yourself. The good and the bad."

Yeah. Because you know loaaads about having to face yourself.
With that, Reina brought her finger up to her temple, tapping it a few times. Mostly to annoy the little voice in her head but also to bring emphasis to her head. Was she making sense with this? She wasn't sure. Valery had always been better at talking this out. She was the one who had managed to get Reina on this path in the first place.

"This "evil" voice in my head? I used to get so angry when I heard it. Denied it. But...I was wrong. It's me. My worst thoughts. The ones I'd never normally have. But I've accepted it. I've accepted the distorted reflection I see in the morning...is me. Who I could be...Who I might become. I've already started down that path."

At that, Reina waved her hand down towards her missing leg. It had taken her a few days to realise the resemblance between herself and that version of herself that plagued her dreams for so long.

"But by accepting that...I can change it. So...you should accept that you aren't fine. That things don't have to be fine. Because then you can work at changing it. And you don't have to do it alone...Am I making sense? I feel like I'm talking too much."

 

[Everest Vale]

"Didn't expect you to be so..." She paused, considering the right word, but she couldn't quite find it, and instead exhaled forcefully, eyes looking around idly anywhere but to her. She supposed everyone changed over time. Behind that rough exterior and clumsy words, Reina seemed to actually care, about her too. Eve wasn't sure why.

"I know I'm not alone," she finally continued, and it was true. Tigris had been there for her in a capacity she could barely comprehend, and could never be grateful enough for. Not to mention Colette, and Master Noble. She counted herself so lucky. "But I don't need another therapist in my life."

She didn't mean it to come out as hostile as it perhaps did. Seeing Reina again after such a long time had seemingly flared some old wounds she thought she had long since recovered from. She wasn't sure if it was the experience of Jedha itself that caused it, or the memory of Reina's manner at the time, but she exhaled and backtracked.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to be so..." Again, she couldn't find the right word.

What was wrong with her today? She sighed.

Reina Daival​

 

[Reina Daival]

Location: Jedi Temple
Objective: Learn
Tags: Everest Vale
Lightsaber​

"...Are you done? Do you feel like a big girl now? Don't be sorry. I've heard a lot worse growing up."

Reina raised an eyebrow as Everest apologised. She rested her chin along her fist as she stared down the Echani for a moment. It was clear something was playing at Everest. Something she couldn't hold back. Unfortunately, or perhaps fortunately, Reina was no therapist. She wasn't good at talking through your feelings. And it wasn't something she enjoyed doing anyway.

"It helps if you finish off your sentences by the way. Leaves things less up to guessing. You didn't expect me to be so...what? Legless? Blunt? Friendly? And you don't mean to be so...what? Ungrateful? Aggressive? Pitiable?"

At that, the woman linked her hands together and rested her chin atop the top of them as she watched. Squinting her eyes for a moment. If she was Serina, Reina might have said all the words that Everest wanted to hear, or find a way to make the Echani feel more vulnerable. But she wasn't. Instead she was doing the opposite. Trying to help Everest toughen up slightly, whilst saying things that they probably didn't want to hear.

"So. Go on. Finish your sentences. Say what's really on your mind. I'm sure there's nothing you could say that would hurt me."

 

[Everest Vale]

Reina's words were biting, as harsh to her as an unruly sea might be. She kept poking and prodding, her words seemingly carefully chosen to push her some more. Why was she being like this? Maybe she hadn't changed after all. She clenched a hand, a storm of emotions rolling through her suddenly, causing her eyes to well, until at least it reached the surface and she had no chance in stopping it.

"J-Just... shut up!"

The shout echoed down the halls of the Archive. Fortunately, there weren't many around to hear it, but in that moment she didn't care even if there were. Her lip quivered as her silver eyes gazed at hers, frustration mixed with sadness and remorse coming from deep within. Her hands trembled.

"Why...? Why are you always... so mean to me? What..." Tears came finally, held back helplessly with a grit of her teeth.

"...What did I ever do to you..."

Reina Daival​

 

[Reina Daival]

Location: Jedi Temple
Objective: Learn
Tags: Everest Vale
Lightsaber​

"...Because unlike the Galaxy, I know when to stop. Unlike the Galaxy, it's safe for you to get mad at me. Because I can take it."

Reina sighed to herself for a moment, and did something that was perhaps...very uncharacteristic for her. She held both of her hands out towards Everest, as if offering for her to take them. Of course, she doubted it would help. Her tough approach didn't seem to work but Reina wasn't going to poke and prod anymore. This hadn't been the reaction she had expected. Anger was what she wanted, but tears? That wasn't what she had been expecting.

"I am jealous of you Everest. You have people who care about you. You've had a family. An upbringing. I've had none of that. I don't get how emotions work. How friendships or any of that works. I just...I'm sorry Everest."

The words felt strange coming out of her mouth. That word. Sorry. She had never properly used it before. It was a heavy word. It made no sense to Reina as she stared down at the table.

 

[Everest Vale]

The sudden gear shift took her aback. She didn't expect to see Reina backtrack so suddenly in the way that she did. She didn't meet her eyes for the longest time, gazing instead towards the ground beside her, as she murmured under her breath, her manner suddenly calm again.

"I'd be your friend... if you... just ask..."

She exhaled forcefully in a deep sigh. Clearly, they got off on the wrong foot, and that was probably her own fault. But their personalities certainly weren't a conventional mix. Finally, she reached out cautiously, placing her own hands in Reina's. It took a lot of strength for Eve to finally pull her gaze back up to meet hers, and looking at her face to face finally, her mind wandered to their first meeting.

"Jedha was... difficult, and not a great introduction I think. But Woostri..." Her eyes drifted off slightly, glazing for a moment at the memory. She took a slow blink and then sighed, shaking her head, intentionally pushing it away out of pure exhaustion of having to think about it all the time.

"I'm willing to start again... if you are."

Reina Daival​

 

[Reina Daival]

Location: Jedi Temple
Objective: Learn
Tags: Everest Vale
Lightsaber​

A rare smile graced Reina's face at Everest's response. This was better. Not perfect, but it was better than having the Echani sob her eyes out. Though Reina let out a small sigh of her own as she looked around the archives.

"...I don't know how to ask someone to be my friend. I don't know how to ask for a lot of things."

Yet now a frown came to her face as Everest spoke. Shaking her head slowly as she took in a deep breath. It might not be what Everest was going to want to hear again, but Reina disagreed with the idea of starting again as her eyes settled on Everest.

"No. I don't think we should start over. We should still remember Jedha. Purely so that we can remember our growth."

Urgh. She was starting to sound like a therapist or something now. Reina didn't have much she could talk about Woostri and it didn't seem like Everest was willing to talk about it. So Reina wouldn't pry. Not now at least. Maybe later, if they became better friends.

"I could have started my life over as a Jedi, but I haven't. I'm still the same as I was beforehand. Well, minus the leg."

 

[Everest Vale]

"Oh, I didn't mean..." She instead nodded knowingly to her. "Jedha was tough but... important... for me. I don't want to forget it." She turned Reina's hands around in hers and idly traced fingers along their coarse skin. It was an Echani method for her to connect some more, as she looked with curiosity towards them. It was the way of her people to understand others in such a way. She then let them go, looking back up to her.

"I'll decide for us if you're not sure how to ask. I want to be your friend, i-if you do too."

She let a smile come to her, soft and inviting, but there was something deeper behind her silver eyes that hinted at a profound thoughtfulness.

Reina Daival​

 

[Reina Daival]

Location: Jedi Temple
Objective: Learn
Tags: Everest Vale
Lightsaber​

It was strange to feel someone tracing over her hands. It wasn't something Reina had actually had someone do before, as she tilted her head. She didn't pull her hands away, not yet at least. Reina was mostly curious as to what Everest was doing. What was the point of it? Reina hadn't very little understanding of Echani, apart from them liking to fight and white hair. She tilted her head as Everest took her hand away and slowly gave a short nod.

"Of course I want us to be friends. I wouldn't be here if I didn't...Well, I would still be here. Probably reading...but that's not important."

She waved her hand through the air, almost as if she was dismissing that thought quite quickly. But it was partly true. She did want to be friends with Everest. Reina wasn't picky with her friends...after all, she considered Serina a friend. Sure, she might end up regretting it but...

 

[Everest Vale]

Eve smiled a little, partly out of amusement simply for Reina's somewhat clumsy way of saying things, but mostly out of newfound warmth that was slowly starting to develop between them now. These two girls were so vastly different, from vastly different worlds. It made sense that some abrasiveness had arisen, especially given the nature of their first meeting.

And yet this girl had a warmth of her own, and she had changed, had grown. She still hadn't fully acknowledged the leg, but it felt too personal to even enquire. But it seemed like a cruel challenge thrust upon her. Maybe she would learn more about it someday.

"Do you... want to go to the gardens? Maybe we can get some air."

Reina Daival​

 

[Reina Daival]

Location: Jedi Temple
Objective: Learn
Tags: Everest Vale
Lightsaber​

"That works well for me. I'm not...great with plant-life. I prefer the water to ground stuff."

With that though, Reina reached out for her harpoon again to heft herself up to her good leg. It was going to be a lot of effort to start moving but it was effort that she was grateful for at least. It meant she was able to work out doing her daily life. In a way, she was training every day now. She steadied herself for a moment on one leg, testing herself to make sure that her leg hadn't fell asleep whilst sat there, before giving Everest a thumbs up.

"Ready when you are!...Just might be a bit slow."

If this was a big open area, Reina might have tried to hop and leap her way to the Gardens but whilst she was indoor, Reina was going to focus on just hopping normally. No fancy acrobatic flips!

 

[Everest Vale]

For a while, they walked in silence. It wasn't the heavy kind of silence, the suffocating, crushing kind that had wrapped around her time and time again, nor the kind that pressed against her chest until she couldn't breathe. But it wasn't the most comfortable of silence either. Reina was beside her, hopping walking at her own pace with the help of her harpoon as they moved through the Temple's quieter corridors. Eve wasn't sure if she should say something or just let the silence be.

Her thoughts drifted back to the conversation in the Archives; the tension, the brief argument, the way it had so suddenly shifted to the decision to try and be friends. She was glad, it felt right. But now that they were actually doing it, actually walking toward the gardens together, she wasn't sure what happened next.

Her fingers fidgeted slightly with the hem of her sleeve. Maybe she should say something, ask how Reina was holding up, make some small comment about the gardens, anything to break the sudden awkwardness. But the words caught in her throat.

So instead, she just walked, as the gardens drew nearer, and the sweet scent of spring flowers wafted through the air.

Reina Daival​

 

[Reina Daival]

Location: Jedi Temple
Objective: Learn
Tags: Everest Vale
Lightsaber​

The silence was deafening for a moment. Only ruined by the tang of the harpoon hitting the ground as they stepped onwards. It was a strange feeling to say the least though Reina turned her attention over towards Everest for a moment...and threw her arm around her new friend with a grin. Partly using Everest a way to keep her balance but also to try and build more of a friendship with her. And in Reina's eyes, there was no way to show trust than leaving yourself vulnerable to someone else.

"So...how long have you been with the Jedi? I'd assume you have plenty of tips or tricks to tell me. I don't really have that many. Except don't lose a limb. It hurts way too much and is such a pain to deal with."

An awkward chuckle escaped her mouth at that. She wasn't good at making conversation. It was far too much effort for her but if she wanted to make friends with Everest, Reina knew she was meant to make an effort. Normally she'd just charge her way through the silence and be too stubborn to let silence fill the air...but she wanted to be more delicate with Everest now.