Private Long Overdue

[Everest Vale]

Reina's interjection into the ever-increasing awkward silence was welcome. She was clumsy and charming with her words, with an undeniable self-awareness that amused Eve, causing a sheepish smile to come from her as she helped to keep her steady while they walked.

"Oh..." She thought about it for a moment. It felt like she had been in the Jedi for a long time already, and yet still it felt like but a tiny flash, a matter of days.

"I suppose it's been a few months now, maybe half a year, wow..." The realisation hit her as she spoke. It really had been a while now. She was quiet for a while as she dwelled on the reality.

"Not sure about, uh, tips and tricks..." She furrowed her brow. The gardens started to stretch around them, a quiet sanctuary tucked away from the weight of the galaxy. Soft light filtered through the leaves, dappling the stone paths in shifting golden hues, while the gentle murmur of water from the fountains wove between the rustling branches. The air smelled of earth and fresh greenery, carrying the faintest hint of flowers in bloom. It was peaceful, undisturbed; the kind of place where time felt slower, where thoughts could settle like drifting petals on still water. The two made their way to a small stone bench beside a pond.

"I guess just..." she finally continued. "...be kind to yourself."

Reina Daival​

 

[Reina Daival]

Location: Jedi Temple
Objective: Learn
Tags: Everest Vale
Lightsaber​

"Be kind to myself? Sorry Lass. I can't do that. I don't even know how to do that. If I was being kind to myself, I wouldn't be pushing myself every day. I wouldn't be a Jedi."

Reina joked away as she waved her hand dismissively. Though it was one of those jokes that was also hiding the truth. She truly didn't know how to be kind to herself. Reina was always trying to push herself. She had to be better. No matter what. Normally she had to be better when it came to combat. Being a better fighter, more resilient. But now she was trying to be better as a person.

"I want to be...kind to other people for once. I want to stop causing pain. Unnecessarily that is. Like...when I made you upset earlier. That was...necessary."

Her boisterous nature faltered for a moment as Reina looked into the pond. She could see her altered version of herself staring back at her. Though they didn't look as aggressive as they normally would. Reina shook her head, turning her attention back over towards Everest.

"...You need to have your buttons pushed. Find out your limits, so that you don't break in the field. I can stop when it gets too much for you. The real world won't. I'm sorry if I went too far earlier, but I don't regret it Everest."

 

[Everest Vale]

"Mhm, I know..." Eve offered the girl a reassuring smile, tinged with something deeper beneath the surface. "I agree with you. I'm learning. It's just... Woostri... I'm still hurting... a lot..." Her eyes drifted across the pond, observing how the sunlight caught along the waters, glistening like a shower of gold leaf. She exhaled, intentional, measured and slow, as her eyes moved down towards her feet.

"I... reached my limit there, Reina. I did break... I... It... wasn't pretty. I nearly died, or..." She felt a small shiver down her spine and in the pit of her stomach as she brought her thoughts to it all again. "...worse..."

Silence. She could feel the pressure of moisture beneath her eyelids again, but she blinked it away.

"I came to the Archives because... I don't know... I just wanted to... get away from it all for once. And I just... Your words, they..." She bit her lip and finished under her breath, her voice no much louder than a whisper. "...really hurt."

She rubbed her eyes to stop any tears from falling, took in a deep breath through the nose, and turned back to her.

"I think you do know how to be kind to yourself," she said finally, trying to change the subject. "You're here, you're a Jedi, and that alone is a path to being better. Jedi is about service... It's why I'm here too. But... I'm learning that you need to know how to give yourself kindness amidst it all too, even if that's... tea and cake, or a good book, or some music..." She offered a smile, gentle, understanding.

Reina Daival​

 

[Reina Daival]

Location: Jedi Temple
Objective: Learn
Tags: Everest Vale
Lightsaber​

"You survived. That's what's important Everest. I'm not...great with the whole self-sacrifice stuff, or the noble feeling of being good. Hell, I lost my leg because I got angry. I didn't think about looking out for myself. I just...wanted to hurt someone."

She was patient as Everest spoke. It was a surprise for her as she just listened to the Echani speak. A frown on Reina's face as she let the girl finish before she spoke. There was a small thought in the back of her head that suggested slapping some sense into Everest, but that wasn't who Reina was. Not anymore at least.

"If they hurt, my words did their job Everest. You'll need to find something to focus on. To help you push through the pain. Find some kind of beacon, a metaphorical lighthouse to guide you through it. Pain can be a hard thing to deal with. It can make things dark, and make it difficult to find your way...I still lose my way sometimes. Life isn't pretty Everest. But...that's a thing to fight for. To protect that which is pretty. And innocent."

Urgh. She sounded like some kind of spiritualist. It was actually getting on Reina's own nerves as she ran a hand down her face. It wasn't who she was so why was she trying to act like one for Everest.

"I don't like tea. I don't like cake. I can barely read. And I don't know the first thing to like about music. I'm trying to work on the reading part. But...the archives drive me mental. I want to rip my hair out."

 

[Everest Vale]

Eve offered her a soft smile.

"You're wise." She let the words hang between them for a moment, allowing them to settle. "I know. Life isn't pretty. I've had two harsh lessons about that now. You were there for the first... And yes..."

Her eyes drifted up to observe the tree that stretched just above them. As she fixed her eyes on its canopy, she could see amidst the dappled green and gold a nest, tendered by a mother finch who was flitting back and forth to feed her children. A smile came immediately to the Echani, as memories of her first weeks came flooding to her, when she found a kinship with a certain Mirialan, a gentle, loving soul like herself. Slowly, she raised a delicate finger and pointed.

"That is beautiful. That's what I fight for, I know it already." She then motioned her hand down, turned to Reina, and pointed at her heart. "And this. I fight for this too." Her face had turned suddenly serious, almost stern, and yet drenched in an undeniable, effortless compassion. "Your capacity to love. My capacity to love. The love that mother up there feels for her babies. It's all..."

She put down her hand and looked up again. She could feel her eyes welling yet again, only this time not from hurt, but from the overwhelming feeling of her joy boiling over within her. For the first time in a long time, she remembered her love of nature, and nature's love for her.

"...so beautiful..."

Reina Daival​

 

[Reina Daival]

Location: Jedi Temple
Objective: Learn
Tags: Everest Vale
Lightsaber​

"Me? Wise? Nah. If anything, I'm a human parrot. I'm mostly just repeating what Grandmaster Valery told me. She's one of the those..."Lighthouses" I was talking about earlier. She helps to guide me through life."

Reina never elaborated on the fact that Valery also gave the woman hope that she could eventually have a family. Mostly because she thought it was a fruitless endeavour. Instead she tilted her head in confusion as Everest started to talk about things that were beautiful, causing the ex-fisherwoman to shake her head with a small chuckle.

"I'm not beautiful. Never been. I guess those animals are cute. You're beautiful I suppose. With your hair. The grace you have. And...Wait...Oh. You meant...metaphorically. Sorry. I'm not...great with those."

A rare flush came to Reina's cheeks as she looked up at the birds for a moment, trying to wrap her mind around the metaphor. Compassion. That was a beautiful thing she supposed. The capacity to love...Reina thought her capacity was quite small. She didn't love anything really. There was fishing, but that was a hobby. Not an actual ideal or person.

"Most things I talk about are literal. Even if they are a bit metaphorical. Valery isn't an actual Lighthouse...but she's a beacon of light for me to follow. But if I had to talk about a metaphorical beauty...It's the sea at a storm. Even with a storm roaring through your ears and freezing rain battering against your skin...below the surface, it's so peaceful. All of the sound just stops...The beauty of the ocean is something I miss."

 

[Everest Vale]

Eve smiled at the mention of Master Noble, and found herself agreeing completely with Reina. The way she described it was especially poetic, and with what little she knew about the sailor it lined up.

"Yes, Master Noble is wonderful. I became her Padawan after Jedha. She's... helped me through so much. I can't express enough gratitude for her."

She smiled knowingly at Reina. It seemed she, too, had profound and important experiences with thanks to Valery. When she started talking about the sea, Eve could feel her heart smiling.

"The ocean, in the way you've described it, sounds beautiful... and it's a nice metaphor too." She let her imagination run free for a moment, falling silent as she tried to envision what it would be like being out at sea in such a way. It was a world she wasn't familiar with, and yet the ocean was a part of nature, part of the wild, that enticed her so, that was in her own blood and a part of herself. She turned to Reina with a smile.

"Maybe you can take me out there some time?"

Maybe it was a silly thing to suggest. Maybe it was something she wouldn't be able to handle. But one thing was clear; Reina was passionate about it, and that made Eve authentically interested.

After a little silence, a magpie suddenly flew down to their feet. For a while it just waddled around, curiously eyeing the shine of Reina's harpoon. Eve smiled, sending a gentle ripple of Light through the Force to it.

"No, little one. That's not for stealing, and I don't think you could manage that." She giggled. "But you can join us a while?"

Raising a hand, Eve gave the bird a smile. As if it understood, it swiftly jumped up onto the bench and climbed up onto her fingers. Its talons stung as they dug into her skin, but she didn't mind at all. The bird was beautiful. White and black with a silvery-blue underbelly, a long, black beak and onyx eyes. He looked up at Eve with curiosity, and then to Reina. The Echani used her other hand to gently stroke the magpie's bill, sending more gentle rays of Light to it through the Force.

"You're so pretty."

She turned to Reina again with a look of offering to pet it, and smiled.

"She won't peck, if you're slow."

Reina Daival​

 

[Reina Daival]

Location: Jedi Temple
Objective: Learn
Tags: Everest Vale
Lightsaber​

"She helped me after Woostri. When I came to my first experience with the Dark Side....She helped me realise that the voice in my head is still me. It's just...saying the things I would never normally say. The parts I'd try to ignore. I need to accept them. Not fight against them. She also helped me realise...I have a place to return to."

Reina let out a soft sigh at that. It was a strangely vulnerable moment for the woman as she stared off into the distance. She was a fighter. That was who she was meant to be at least. But that belief had been what caused Reina to lose her leg...She needed to figure out who she was meant to be now. There was no way she could return to her old ways, even if she did get a replacement leg that she felt comfortable with. She would never be a whole person again. She knew that and it was her fault. Her mistake. And it had been a lesson that she was trying to learn.

"...I don't think you'd cope well out on the sea...No. That's not it. I wouldn't be a good teacher. I'd be harsh on you. And anyone with us. I'd want you all to work like how my old...family did. Know what you needed to do without being told to."

It had taken a long time for her to come to that choice of word but it was true. The crew she had worked with on the ship had been the closest thing she had to a family. A myriad of uncles and aunts in a way. The Skipper had been the closest thing she had to a father. She still didn't know how it felt to have one properly. There was no familial warmth or love when she thought back to them but they were the kind of people who'd look after her.

Her attention went towards the bird, frowning for a moment. To Reina, it was just a bird. There wasn't anything overly special about it. It was alive of course, that was one thing...but it wasn't what she overly cared for. What was more interesting to Reina however was the ripples of light that Everest was doing, causing the woman to raise her hand up for a moment.

"...How are you doing that?"
She hesitated as Everest held the magpie out to her...and Reina gently brought her hand over to rub the magpie's body. Being as soft as she could. She wasn't sure how to deal with this or how to act with the magpie...apart from being gentle of course.

 

[Everest Vale]

The Dark Side. So Reina had touched it too. It seemed that for the two young women, it had deeply affected them both in ways that needed immense support to work through. They were both lucky they had such support available to them. She didn't say anything in response to any of that, but she did give a solemn, knowing smile and nod.

In response to Reina's gentle touch, the magpie let out a low rumbling warble from its throat that reverberated through its small body. It eyed Reina carefully, cautiously, but seemed to accept what was happening before hopping down Eve's arm and setting onto her knee for a moment. The Echani grinned.

"Oh..." she started. "I can just tap into animals really easily. I understand them... and they understand me. Master Noble tells me it's called Animal Bond... I can do the same with plants too, only you know, they're not so... reactive." She grinned a little, somewhat uncharacteristically mischievously. Through the Force, she could feel the gentle impressions of Light returned back to not only herself, but to Reina too. Gentle, simple vibrations through consciousness that Eve could recognise the patterns of. If she were to translate that feeling and notion into some understandable by a human, it would have been as a single, simple word...

~Friends~​

"I've always been able to do this... since I was small." She let her index finger run again along the magpie's bill as she leaned in a little, locking her own eyes with the bird's, a wide smile across her face. "They can speak, you know. Not in the way we would. But it's easy to hear what they have to say through the Force, if you know what to listen for..." She looked up again to Reina. "Do you want to try it? You just need to... I suppose... relax your awareness, and let yourself be open to her. Everything has a presence in the Force, no matter how small or fleeting. It's just about knowing how to tune in precisely, but that usually means being open and willing to hear. Give it a try. She's right here. And you can then just send some of your own... I don't know... your own 'light' back to her, if you want." She gave a gentle smile to Reina, unsure how familiar she was with this kind of thing, but assuming it was a relatively new idea.

Reina Daival​

 

[Reina Daival]

Location: Jedi Temple
Objective: Learn
Tags: Everest Vale
Lightsaber​

Reina blinked as the Magpie moved. She wasn't sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing. She had never really had much of a connection to nature. Well, she did but most of that connection came from hunting. From killing animals to sell them later on. It was how she had made her living. She had never thought of another way of life. After all, it was her or them. What other choice could she have had? She sighed to herself at that, running her hand through her hair for a moment.

"...I don't think it's a good idea for me to learn this Everest. I think it would just end up making me feel more guilt. For the way I was raised. And...I just don't think I'd deal well with it all..."

It was the first time Reina didn't want to face something. Because she was afraid. Not specifically of feeling guilty. No. Reina was afraid that she wouldn't feel guilty. That after finding out she could communicate with creatures that could feel the way she did, that she wouldn't care about hunting them. That was what terrified her. The idea of everything having a presence in the Force was a thought that was...worrying her ever so slightly as she stared off into the distance before turning her attention towards her hands., blinking for a moment...

And then when she re-opened them, her hands were covered in blood. Sat in an old wooden chair, similar to that which the Skipper would sit in. Standing in ankle deep water with various murky eyes staring back at her, the yellow twisting and turning around. The smell of fish surrounded her as she turned her attention to her surroundings. Schools of phantom fish floated back and forth, alongside a few human sized individuals that blurred into the surroundings. The things she had killed were still connected to her whether she liked it or not. Something she'd have to live with.

With another blink of her eyes, they were all gone. The chair. The blood. The eyes. The only eyes looking back at her were those of the Magpie and Everest's blue eyes. How long had Reina been spaced out for? The colour had faded from her face for a moment as the woman focused on her breathing. In and out. She was in the courtyard. Not in that nightmare.

"...Sorry. I...was daydreaming. I...definitely think it's a bad idea for me to try this."

 

[Everest Vale]

Though Eve wasn't completely sure what she was alluding to, she did have some ideas. She nevertheless gave a soft, understanding smile. It seemed something was bothering Reina, and though the Echani wanted her to share even just a dash of the joy that she felt so often, she didn't want to push.

"That's okay," she said after a while. "I don't want you to feel uncomfortable."

She leaned down to pet the magpie once more, before it took flight and disappeared amidst the trees. Her gaze lingered a while towards the trees it disappeared behind, before turning back to Reina.

"We can just... enjoy the sun, and the breeze, instead." She gave her a soft smile, genuine, warm.

Reina Daival​

 

[Reina Daival]

Location: Jedi Temple
Objective: Learn
Tags: Everest Vale
Lightsaber​

It was a sign of the differences between the two already. Reina would have kept pushing to try and get to the source of the problem whereas Everest was just leaving the situation there. It was a smart idea honestly. Reina just wasn't that smart most of the time.

"That sounds good to me. I'm...sorry for ruining your fun. It's nice that you like animals and that."

What else was she meant to say? The woman just sighed as she looked up towards the clouds, letting silence fill the air for as long as they stayed. No need to say anything until they had to leave.