Public Meditating in the Mountainside [Corellia]

[Envir Vadul]

Mountainside, Doaba Guelfel, Corellia
Interactions: Open
Inventory: Outfit - Comlink - Credits - Holoprojector - Lightsaber, dark blue​

The Padawan had been wandering for far too long, it had been a little over a year since his mentor passed away. It was far too long since Envir even stepped foot on the countryside of Corellia, any stop he made was simply at Coronet city for ten minutes or so to deliver or receive shipments

On this particular day, Envir decided to roam out to the countryside. He left his light freighter at the docks in Coronet city and hiked away to the green hills. It was early in the morning when he set off and by the time he came across the mountain town of of Doaba Guelfel it dusk had fallen. The orange glow behind the mountains looked beautiful, and the padawan had a childish feeling to chase the sun. He ran upwards a mountain, almost tripping from rocks, until he found a flat spot to rest. He could see the capital in the distance, little blurry starships coming in and out.

Envir took off his robe and placed it neatly folded next to him along with his lightsaber. He sat down and closed his eyes, breathe in… and out…

“Envir, you dull boy,” a voice whispered in his mind. Stop.

“Vadul, va- dull, you don’t know anything,” the voice whispered again.

This wasn’t how he wanted to remember his mentor. Envir knew that deep down he had good memories, if it weren’t for him he wouldn’t of ever learned to harness the force properly.

The frustrated padawan cursed and opened his eyes. He felt so lost, could he even call himself a padawan anymore?

 

[Kassogtha Cthylla]

At the sound of a curse being uttered, Kass' multitude of eyes opened. She had been meditating at a mountain shrine located along the pathway down the slope, enjoying the solitude and quiet away from the city. Alas, she wasn't alone after all.

Her gaze honed in on Envir, sensing the chaotic emotions swirling within him. "Young man," she said, her voice echoing slightly through the valley. "What on earth are you doing? You look like you're having an existential crisis." And you're badly in need of a trip to the barber, she thought but did not say.

Envir Vadul​

 

[Envir Vadul]

Bewildered, Envir stood up and looked around to find the source of the voice. He looked at the nearby shrine and caught glimpse of the individual that had spoken, he grabbed his belongings and made his way down the path until he was a few meters away from...her? He felt confused at who he was looking at, the voice he had heard did not seem to be quite fitting to this figure and yet at the same time he did not want to seem rude.

"Uhm... I was simply mediating," he said in a matter of fact tone, "I'm not having an existential crisis," he quickly added, "And who are you to be imposing judgement?"

Kassogtha Cthylla

 

[Kassogtha Cthylla]

"Well, that's good to hear." Kass studied him. "Why were you cursing while meditating?"

"And who are you to be imposing judgement?"

"What exactly did I say that was 'imposing judgment'?" she asked, more bemused than annoyed.

Envir Vadul

 

[Envir Vadul]

Envir crossed his arms, her voice was pretty and yet her appearance was off putting. A part of him felt bad for thinking about the horrifying zombies he had dealt with a while ago.

"Meditating isn't exactly my forte, I just didn't expect someone to see..." Envir replied with slight embarrassment.

Kassogtha Cthylla

 

[Kassogtha Cthylla]

"Ah, you were frustrated." Kass' gelatinous body bobbed in understanding. "Well, it just so happens that I am also meditating here without much luck. Perhaps we could work together?"

Envir Vadul

 

[Envir Vadul]

Envir hadn't expected the offer, he nodded and placed his lightsaber back down onto the floor next to him. He sat down facing towards her, he could sense something about her but he couldn't properly tell, was she a jedi? Or merely a force user? The corellians mind always strayed all over the place, asking questions and changing train of thought.

Sitting down, he was more at level with her, "How do you usually start?" he asked.

Kassogtha Cthylla

 

[Kassogtha Cthylla]

"Well, first I find a quiet place, vibrant with the Force," Kass began, gesturing to the mountains around them with her tentacles. "Then I stop everything. Physically, I cease to move; mentally, I cease to think. If you can quell your racing thoughts and simply be, the rest should follow."

She closed her eyes. "Unfortunately, there's been a lot on my mind lately. Stopping myself from losing focus is proving harder than I thought."

Envir Vadul

 

[Envir Vadul]

Envir closed his eyes, the glow of the sunset visible through his closed eyelids. "I will have to admit, I haven't quite meditated in a while," he said, the term while was extremely generous. For a while now, he hasn't had the time to rest and sit quietly, he'd been so lost in going planet to planet and doing odd jobs. Envir hadn't even used his lightsaber ever since that horrific experience on the starship Hyperion.

"Oh kriff," Envir muttered, "I guess we both have the same struggle heh"

Kassogtha Cthylla

 

[Kassogtha Cthylla]

She peeked open a few eyes at him. "What's troubling you?" she asked. If he didn't want to talk about his problems, that was fine.

Envir Vadul

 

[Envir Vadul]

The Corellian was silent for a moment before replying, he did not wish to seem weak nor did he wish to go down the path of reminiscing about his old master. "I am unsure of my path as a Jedi," he ended up saying, "I think, ultimately, that's what troubles me," he sighed and opened his eyes to look down at his hands. Envir almost let out a laugh due to how ridiculous he felt saying it aloud, the miss was correct after all, alright maybe I am having an existential crisis...

Kassogtha Cthylla

 

[Kassogtha Cthylla]

If Envir stifled his laugh, Kass couldn't help but giggle. "Every Jedi goes through a period of uncertainty. It's part of growing up and finding out who you are. You're not alone."

Her mirth faded, and she grew thoughtful. "Is there anything in particular which is troubling you? A recent hardship, perhaps?" It could very well be just a phase, or a sign of a bigger problem which was affecting him.

Envir Vadul

 

[Envir Vadul]

He raised a hand to touch the overgrown tuft of hair on his right, "I was trained for six years, and somehow it feels like it was a waste of time, I mean- well, er-" Envir paused realizing how childish he sounded, "My master, he taught me in his own way and although I did learn the basic stuff I feel like overall it wasn't right for me and now my mind is a big mess because of it," Envir said, it was the vaguest way he could of described it. As much as he didn't want to think about the old man Leh, Envir couldn't help but to blame him, he had to let something out.

Kassogtha Cthylla

 

[Kassogtha Cthylla]

Kass listened intently to his explanation, murmuring a soft "hmmm" after he had finished speaking. It sounded pretty vague. "What sort of things did he teach you that were different from the usual?" she asked. "And is this person still your master?"

Envir Vadul

 

[Envir Vadul]

"No no, he passed away a year ago," Envir said in a candid manner, old fool, he thought. Sometimes he wished he could just forget about the old man, he even thought often about the possibilities that could have happened if he had never met him. On one hand Envir would of never gotten a 'push' towards the usage of the Force and on the other, he could of perhaps had met some other Jedi who would have been a better mentor. The possibilities were endless but he had to accept the past had already passed.

"He'd always go on these tangents about the greater good and how I need to let go of myself before I understand the force, I tried for six years and that stuff still sounds like gibberish." He crossed his arms and furrowed his brows, "I think that maybe I can just teach myself and learn, one day, I'll be a powerful Jedi. For now, I guess I'm just having my period of uncertainty as you said."

Kassogtha Cthylla

 

[Kassogtha Cthylla]

Hearing that his master had passed away didn’t come as too much of a surprise, given that he had talked about him in the past tense. “I’m sorry for your loss,” Kass said in sympathy. “My master passed a few years ago. It was… painful, especially at first. But I know he became one with the Force and is at peace.”

"He'd always go on these tangents about the greater good and how I need to let go of myself before I understand the force, I tried for six years and that stuff still sounds like gibberish." He crossed his arms and furrowed his brows, "I think that maybe I can just teach myself and learn, one day, I'll be a powerful Jedi. For now, I guess I'm just having my period of uncertainty as you said."

“We cannot choose the hour of our passing. Perhaps his lessons would have become clearer over time, had he been given the chance to teach you more. But, do you not think you would benefit from having a teacher to lead you?"

Envir Vadul

 

[Envir Vadul]

Envir wanted to snort at the mention of peace, he hated that word, the idea of peace was just a fantasy to him. He knew that the Jedi were supposed to literally be peacekeepers but he felt that the world was simply much more complicated and the fancy terms such as peace was simply for written honorifics.

"I do not wish to sound contradicting, I think that having a mentor is great, it's just that maybe it doesn't suit me," Envir said, "But then again, maybe I should try again with a new mentor..." he mumbled. Everything was an utter mess in his mind, Envir was making his thought process much more complicated than it had to.

Kassogtha Cthylla

 

[Kassogtha Cthylla]

"Why do you think a mentor isn't right for you?" she asked. "I mean, you said that you were having trouble understanding the Jedi philosophy. If that's the case, it could be helped by continuing your studies, not stopping them. Unless it isn't because of a misunderstanding..." Perhaps he was simply stubborn and headstrong and wanted to do things his way.

But she was prying too much. They'd only just met, and she didn't even know his name. "I'm sorry if I seem nosy. I am Master Kassogtha Cthylla, Chief Librarian of the Jedi Archives."

Envir Vadul​

 

[Envir Vadul]

In the celestial point of view, it was an utter coincidence that Envir was about to respond to her by saying he would simply study through books. He closed his mouth shut at her introduction, it was mind boggling for the young man to meet someone with such a title.

"Envir, Envir Vadull," he introduced himself, he wasn't one to share his full name so quickly but there were exceptions which included this moment. Although Envir had dreams of becoming a Jedi and even being mentored as a padawan, the stories of the New Jedi Order simply seemed like fairy tales. A distant star that he would never be able to reach, and yet here he was with someone who had access to so much knowledge. He felt like a clash of the nervousness that comes with talking to a boss and the giddiness of a child meeting a celebrity.

"Oh it's quite alright, uhm, I also apologize if I came off a bit strong with the stuff I was saying..."


Kassogtha Cthylla

Spoiler

Apologies for the lag in replying! This week has been hectic, my usual speed should be back by next week)

 

[Kassogtha Cthylla]

"Yes, well, honesty is generally preferable," Kass said. "I'd rather you spoke your mind than told me what you think I want to hear.

"As you were saying, how do you plan to continue your studies?"

Envir Vadul