Meeting of the Lost

[Seras Rose]

Seras gently pushed the bowl away from her as Jairdain began to speak. She could not in her current state touch the force, not even in a small ways. It wasn't untill Jairdain mentioned the word 'past' that she rememberd that feeling from when she had been a Jedi, of calmly feeling it flow, even when she was simply sitting down and eating like she was now. The memory was scatterd, but she could still recall it but now, she felt nothing. Only emptyness. When she tried to remember that feeling in more detail, to recall those events of her past she could scarecly remember them. Perhaps it was the poor physical and mental state she was in, the influince of the darkside or maybe even because she simply did not want to remember those better times. But the best she could do was recall those faint memories in out of context, short bursts of recollection.

"I... Do not know either.. How i got here, why... Why anything that happend happend" She admitted after several moments, visibly trembling at her own words. The breif flashes of Atrisia and the things she witnessed there were more then enough to make her want to forget and never remember. But somewhere, deep down inside of her, thinking that way was wrong.

Desiring to forget was wrong. Desiring to run away was wrong. It was only a faint, small feeling, but that tiny emotional toothpick was perhaps the only thing that kept her mind from completly falling apart. After several long moments she looked up to meet Jairdain's sightless eyes with her own last remaining good eye. It was the only time she had looked up since the two women had met.

"Why... Would you help me?"

[member="Jairdain"]

 

[Jairdain]

When Seras pushed the bowl of food away, Jairdain picked it up and went to the sink to wash them out. There was more stew, but that could be saved for a later meal. Her companion needed to rest, recuperate and eat as much as she could. Small meals to start with and growing from there. She had been in this situation before and remembered her own recovery. There had been people there to help her then and would do everything in her power to help Seras in her recovery.

When Jairdain sat back down a thought crossed her mind as to the words spoken by Seras struck at her. To address the question posed to her though, Jairdain smiled before answering. Taking a drink of her water as she thought of the words to say and setting the glass down again, she leaned forward to place her elbows on the table and her head on top of her folded hands.

"Seras, there was a time in my life when I was captured, starved and tortured. A group of people did end up rescuing me and helped me through my recovery. They never really questioned me and gave me the help I needed then. Never once did I think I was worth the trouble or concern. So now the chance has come for me to help another person like they did me. I can offer you a place to recover in peace and maybe make sense of what happened to you. Perhaps even repair what damage has been done."

Raising a hand to her own head, that Jedi within her spoke now. It was an almost constant war between the two pieces of her.

[member="Seras Rose"]

 

[Seras Rose]

Seras sat for a moment in silence as she looked at Jairdane. This was a woman who had gone through something similar to her. How similar she could not quite tell, but Seras could perceive one diffrence. While Jairdane was currently more Sith, fighting the light, Seras was more Jedi, fighting the dark. That was what she perceived, just for a moment. But she didn't know what to say about that, what to think. It was a thing, she supposed? A twist of fate that the blind would run into the lost like this.

"I.. See. I am not really sure.. What to say to that." Seras said after several long moments, closing her eyes in thought. What did she want to do? She didn't know. She had not stopping moving, never stopped moving. But why. Deep down, she knew it was because she was a person who couldn't stop moving forward, in some manner. "I... Don't even know what to do. But if you would allow it.. I will stay here." Seras said after several long moments. Maybe these past months, she had not been trying to move forward. But rather run away from herself.

[member="Jairdain"]

 

[Jairdain]

Jairdain allowed Seras the time it took to digest her words. Right now, that light within her was in dominance, but the dark was fighting back. She could sense that Seras was observing her through the Force. There was no threat from her though so Jairdain allowed her to look and feel what was going through her. It lasted but a moment before it went away.

The reply was acceptable and Jairdain nodded.

"What you need to do Seras is recover. That takes time and it won't happen overnight. Together maybe we can help each other."

A clear message would be felt coming from her. The sense of a promise of security and safety. Seras no longer needed to run and hide, nothing was coming after her. The knowing she would have a haven within the walls of this home.

[member="Seras Rose"]

 

[Seras Rose]

"I.... Suppose no matter what, i need time..." She said after several long moments. It was only just barely, but Seras could feel the fact that she would have a safe haven here with this woman who she barely knew. But that was enough. Somewhere to simply be safe... Was enough.

Over the coming days and weeks, she would still remain mostly quiet, not asking for much or speaking much on her own, but always getting up fairly early and going to bed early as well. She would sit down for around a hour after waking up, waiting absentmindedly as though she was supposed to be doing something, but did not remember what it was. If Jair asked, it would take Seras a while but she would vaguely recall that she would sketch in the morning. She was actaully rather good at it as well.

At first she didn't do much. Without directly being asked to do something, she likely would do nothing when it came to moving about on her own. But she would help out on her own as she proved a few days into her recovery, picking up small chores and doing little things here and there. Small, busy work kinds of tasks but nothing she thought herself above.

[member="Jairdain"]

 

[Jairdain]

Seras accepted Jairdain's offer to stay and recover. The time they spent was mostly quiet as each of them went through whatever routines they were used to. Intuition spoke to the sith though and she knew they needed to move. The streets in the area were getting more dangerous as the season changed and more people came to the city and planet.

"Will you help me build a home outside of town? We need to move and I feel we will safer there than here in town."

No matter what the answer was, Jairdain would make the move. The help would be nice though.

[member="Seras Rose"]

 

[Seras Rose]

Seras did not seem herself to notice the growing dangers out on the street. Most of the time she spent was either sketching, meditating or helping out with something. If she was not doing that, she would find a nice, comfortable place to sit and stay there silently as though meditating. She was not particularly active outside of that though. One other thing that would become clear with time, was that her left eye was indeed beyond being 'salvageable'. In the end it would require a cybernetic replacement, something that Seras was oddly not intrested in having.

"Mm... I have never had to do anything like that before. But sure." She nodded on the day she was asked before helping Jairdain with the move and building. While it was happening, during one day at a break, Seras sat down, looking at a length of pipe in her hands. It was around four feet long and made out of a light kind of dura-plast, made for plumbing and the like.

She looked at it for several long moments before standing up with a unsure look. It felt familiar, but very distant. She still had not yet recoverd her memories proper, but this felt like something that was important to them. Her body moved as though on it's own from then on out, moving naturally into a stance with the sword held out in a Shii-cho like form.

[member="Jairdain"]

 

[Jairdain]

Slowly the two women built the house outside of town. Sometimes they had the help of others, but it mostly just the two of them. Returning each night to the city home and in the morning to the growing one. Little by little it grew around them and the day came when Jairdain looked up to see Seras standing still through the Force and holding a piece of piping. In the time they had been together, she had learned little about the other woman.

This was something new and when Seras moved to stand in the familiar stance of one holding a lightsaber, Jairdain nodded. Standing up from her spot on the ground, she unclipped her own lightsaber and moved to stand next to Seras.

Taking the pipe from her friend, she slid the hilt in her hands.

"This may be more familiar, Seras."

[member="Seras Rose"]

 

[Seras Rose]

It was not for lack of wanting to share things about herself that Seras was silent. More that she herself did not have much to share. Short spurts of disconnected memories that didn't click with anything, faces and people without names. It was all just so hard to recall and put together. But as she held Jairdain's lightsaber... Some peices started to come back together.

"It... Is."

Seras said with a slight nod, frowning for a moment as she felt something in the back of her mind. Like a voice from far off, a memory. "Was it like that..?" She murmerd to herself, putting her right foot back a bit before activating the blade. The red blade caught her attention after that though, something she had not expected as it were as she looked at it for a few long moments.

"I remember.. Fighting these. On a planet that was chocked with ash, freocious lightning... Name... What was it's name..."

Seras said as she tried to recall. It had been a long battle, one that in the end they had won... She rememberd fighting a Sith with all of her strength and barely coming out alive. After that, the rest of the battle had one on with herself in a MASH unit.

"Atrisia.." Seras said with a confidant nod as it slowly came back to her. They were not pretty memories, they were painful and scary. She had been cut, brused, attacked and nearly killed and she had done the same to others. And it had been unjust. That had not been a righteous battle. They had been the hostile invaders, the aggressors without proper cause. Seras wanted to forget that, all of that. But something inside her would not let her forget it, now that it finally came back to her. She had to atone for that day. She had chosen to do that and now while looking at that red blade that was in her hands, she chose to do that once again, her head turning to Jairdain as Seras spoke.

"Have you heard of the Battle of Atrisia?"

[member="Jairdain"]

 

[Jairdain]

It took several minutes before Seras started speaking with any sense of reality. She ignited the blade and went silent again. Not being able to see the color of it, Jairdain had no clue it was red.

"You fought with lightsabers on Atrisia?"

Only having heard secondhand stories and​ then others that spoke of the outcome, no details were given though. Seras had been there. Shaking her head before she spoke, Jairdain wondered if Atrisia had been the reason her friend was in such shape when they met.

"I have heard of it, but nothing about what caused it or any real details. What happened?"

Figuring this was as good a time as any to take a break, Jairdain went and gathered up their food and drink they had brought with them. Offering Seras her share, she sat down on the ground on again and patted it next to her.

[member="Seras Rose"]

 

[Seras Rose]

"Yes. I fought red ones, like this. I... Had my own."

There seemed to be some kind of weight behind those last words, but Seras herself was not completly sure what that weight was. It took her several moments to remember that she had done away with it. After that battle, it was something that was no longer apart of her, something she was ashamed of. So she left it, and everything else behind.

"I remember that there was talk of Sith taking it over. The... Specifics escape me. But the Galactic Alliance decided that it was not to be. That they were a threat and needed to be removed from the planet. That was all that really mattered. I chose to go and help remove what we had all been told was a hostile takeover. So many things happened so fast... A Force storm in orbit that annhilated the Alliance fleet, lightning raining down upon the invaders. All kinds of Sith Magic you only hear about. In short, when we crash landed we exited out upon what might as well be a blasted wasteland. We fought across the ruins of a deserted city against it's defenders. But we saw no civilian's. And i noticed that something had been nagging at the back of my mind. We were the invaders. I was forced to withdraw, exhausted and closer to death then i would have liked. While i was like that, i could feel it. The resilliant hearts of great Force User's, who had cast aside their life to protect this place. The fear of the people they had died to protect as we fought across their capital. And the passions of those defenders who were resolved to death."

When she spoke of it, one could feel the battlefield and feelings of that moment and day that Seras had 'seen' while in that twilight state. Being that close to death had allowed her a amount of insight that she would not have normally had. But thanks to it she came to understand just how wrong her actions had been. How truely dreadful and wrong each strike with her weapon had been that day.

"All of that.. After i had promised my master i would never fight in a battle i could not dedicate my life to.."

She murmured silently to herself, shaking her head after a moment. What was done was done, even if she hated herself for it.

[member="Jairdain"]

 

[Jairdain]

"You had your own red saber?"

The broken sith listened to the story Seras told her. It had happened in the years before she found the galaxy proper, before she had joined the Silver Jedi. As that thought crossed her mind, the muted Jedi buried within her gave Jairdain a mental kick. It assisted in causing her fragile hold on the dark to shatter a little more. Seras and Jairdain really made a good friendship. Both lost and broken in their own ways holding each other together.

Picking up on the emotions Seras felt of her actions from then, Jairdain would reach out to lightly touch her. There was true look of sympathy on her face, even if that isn't what Seras was after,

"We have all done things we regret as we look back, my friend. What you did was blindly following others, you believed what you were doing was right. Nobody can fault you for that now. They may try, but I won't be one of them."

[member="Seras Rose"]

 

[Seras Rose]

"Huh?" Seras asked at Jairdain's comment, clearly confused for a few moments before she caught her blunder. "Oh, no no no, not with my own red saber. Mine was yellow. I was fighting people with red Lightsabers.. Sith."

Seras had been slowly regaining herself. It was not so much a matter of remembering, as resolving to face remembering what she had forgotten. The memories were there, but facing them like she was now.. It was painful. No one wanted to rember such things they had done, Seras was no exception. But now she recalled them, shared them. It didn't remove the burden, but someone else hearing it and accpting it without scorrn helped.

"I... Thank you." She said after several long moments, collecting her thoughts as her mind slowly pulled the next peices of the puzzle back together.

"After that, i started wandering the galaxy. Nowhere to call home, just helping out where ever i found people in need. It went well, for a time. But i felt something, in the force. Something that was familiar. It felt like Atrisia. My... Memory of that event is hazy." Seras said, resting a hand on her head as she thought about it.

"I remember going to a temple, that was suddenly swallowed in darkness. The kind that seeps into your mind, thoughts, vision, everything. Inside it i found a Sith Lord.. Mythos. He had just been reborn."

The memory made her shake for a moment, her breath picking up as visions of darkness and pain flashed across her mind. It took a great amount of will for her to turn her mind away from that and the events that happend there. And the darkness that had plagued her since.

[member="Jairdain"]

 

[Jairdain]

"Since I am blind, I have only seen two saber colors. Mine when it was green," Jairdain tilted her head in the direction of the now red blade Seras held. "And after it turned red."

Her voice faded and ​she wondered for a brief moment if Seras was going to feel any different or run now she knew better what her current alignment was. She didn't though and thanked Jairdain for her words. Continuing her story, she had wandered around helping people. In the end she had been drawn to a location that felt like Atrisia. The knight felt the shake of Seras and could tell the memory was bothering her more than anything else she had spoke of before.

One thing became clear to her though, this event that happened in that temple was what made Seras who she was when they met. Jairdain nodded with the realization. Somehow though Jairdain felt it wasn't the fault of Mythos.

"And then eventually I found you. What if you meet him again?"

[member="Seras Rose"]

 

[Seras Rose]

"I see... Well. That would make sense." Seras nodded after several moments, her mind fairly quickly processing what that meant about her friend. But what did it mean to her.

Seras's veiw did not change all that much. For her right now, lightside, darkside, Jedi and Sith, they did not mean anything to her. She was worried about other things, mostly herself. Even if she was considering all that though, Jair had been helping her for months at this point. There was nothing for her to think less of her for in the young womans eyes. Not for such a simple reason.

"If i... Met him again?" Seras had... Never really considerd that. What would she say, do think, feel? As far as she knew, it was not exactly his fault she had been there. It was more like a... Exceptionally unfortunate accident.

"I would... Probably ask him something. What was so important for him to come back. Why what happend at Atrisia happend. There are... Quite a few things i would like to ask him, now that i think about it." She said, Seras surprising herself at that revelation.

[member="Jairdain"]

 

[Jairdain]

"Not that I actually saw them, but people sent me the mental image of what they looked like...It's hard to explain."

The acceptance of Seras ​meant more than Jairdain had even realized it would. The friendship the two of them had formed, the two lost and confused women had over the course of time healed one of them. It had pushed the sith knight further into a sense of loss though. The light within her was winning and fighting the brainwashing still. Even now though that dark within her argued and Jairdain still remained lost in that battle.

When Seras answered that she would question Mythos, it provided a great insight to her. She didn't feel like getting revenge, fighting him or even wanting to. To have the ability to get questions answered would be wonderful.

"Would he answer do you think?"

Instinct and something in the Force spoke to her. Both she and Seras were going meet this man. Maybe not together, but it was sure to happen.

"If I told you that you will meet him again, would be believe me?"

[member="Seras Rose"]

 

[Seras Rose]

"Hmm... I imagine lots of things are hard to explain without normal sight." Seras said, nodding in understanding of what she meant.

At this point, both of them had accepeted the other. Not given any protest, question or comment. Just silent acceptance, aid and friendship whent it was needed. Even after everything she had gone through before, Seras could honestly say that Jairdain was the person she was closest to in her life.

"Would he awnser... I think yes. He would. I doubt there is much he would deny me as far as awnsers of things of that nature go. Just something my... Instincts tell me."

She said, looking to Jair as she seemed to... Change for a moment. Speak just a bit diffrently.

"I would. After all... After all that has happened. I can not imagine never seeing him again. There are some things that... Simply make sense to occur, if that makes sense. Why do you ask?"

[member="Jairdain"]

 

[Jairdain]

She gave Seras a half a smile at her comment about sight. It was so very true. Her vision was full of color, but what she called those colors were may not be what others called them. Instinct had told her what the colors of the sabers were and what people had told her. Jairdain knew her saber had started as green and with the Sith it had turned red.

"Is he in love with you?"

Not having met Mythos and knowing only just a little about him, she didn't know how he felt about Seras. Even though their time together had helped to heal Seras, even Jairdain wasn't sure how the other woman felt about Mythos on a personal level.

"Do you love him? It would be odd for sure, but not unheard of."

A sense of sorrow crossed Jairdain. She knew what love was. Not knowing if she would ever see her love again, she felt a little more lost and confused. He was Jedi and she wasn't. Would he accept her back? Coming out of her reverie, she was brought back to reality when Seras answered her question.

"Just feeling I had a moment ago. We're both going to meet Mythos. I'm not sure if that's good or bad though. The circumstances of them or anything. Just know you're going to see him again. I will meet him too."

[member="Seras Rose"]

 

[Seras Rose]

After having lost her left eye, Seras had suprisingly found it not all that bad. Not much had changed, as far as daily life went. It was harder to keep focus at first, but over time her body had adapted to the change. Though it was nowhere near as drastic a change as not being able to see 'normally', she could relate in a way.

"Love? Him, me, or me him?"

Seras blinked for a moment, before giggling just a little at the idea. She couldn't help herself for a few moments before shaking her head lightly. Sure she had never spoke of him before, and how she phrased that may have... Come across awkwardly. But that was not what she meant.

"No. Nothing like that in either direction. It is more like he is someone who will surely be in my path, no matter where i choose walk. Even if all i did was still. To me, it is more like..."

Seras was not sure what Mythos was to her. Her voice trailed off for several long moments as she thought about that. Her thought process was broken by Jair saying that not just Seras, but Jair herself would meet him.

"I see... It may sound odd, but that doesn't surprise me. Who knows what may happen, or not, in the future i suppose."

[member="Jairdain"]

 

[Jairdain]

Her question amused Seras and she even giggled a little. The answer provided told Jairdain that her friend was more agnostic about Mythos than anything else. No real like or dislike, but connected through his rebirth.

"In your path in a good or bad way? I'm looking forward to the day I meet him. Just curious to the setting of it."

Giving Seras a small half smile, Jairdain reached out to take her saber back if the other woman would let go of it.

"So far all my little visions or feelings like this have come true. I don't think he's going to scramble your mind again. Who knows what he'll do to mine. It's already in poor shape. Hey maybe..."

Her hand never reached the saber and instead went to her head. Another wave went through her mind and Jairdain sat down.

"We're going to be separated for a time. Something big is coming, but I can't tell what. It revolves around so much. You, me, the galaxy. It's big."

[member="Seras Rose"]