Private Mess Is Mine

[Makai Dashiell]

"I... didn't realize you were thinking of all that," Myra confessed, her forefinger lightly circling the rim of her wine glass in contemplation.

"I'm more than just a pretty face Ellie."

Mouth quirked in an amused smile, enjoying the joke at his own expense. Truth be told, he was quite the deep thinker, but kept a number of cards close to his chest. Once he was no longer oblivious to something, thoughts tended to run deep, often spilling out onto his journal in written form.

It wasn't until he was older did a more cogitative nature took hold of him, so he could understand why Ellie didn't think all of these concerns and hopes and dreams were on his radar.

"So... what is it that you can handle?" wide grey-blue eyes swirled in their smoky hue, rising to meet the arctic ice-blue of Makai's own.

"I think the better, and shorter, list is what I can't. Deal breakers if you will."

Makai didn't think he had many. He didn't see Ellie crossing any line, at least not what he was about to list. Yet she asked and he wanted to be transparent, to give insight on what he had been ruminating on since Maramere.

"Emotional affairs, leaving...as in pulling the same stunt...well, you know. Especially if we have kids, I can't. Anger issues, abuse in its various forms... "

Shoulders shrugged, brows knitting together.

"I can't see any of that happening. Everything else I feel like we can work through. Or at least, I could work through. There's not much on my radar I'm concerned of."

"... your place?"

"Do I know my place? Of course. Right now its right by your side, watching you conquer the galaxy with a fierce passion. My place is working hard every single day to assure you I'm deathly serious about us. Laser focused."

A pause.

"I'm striving every day to prove to you I'm worthy to take your hand for the rest of my life. That I'm not going anywhere."

 

[Myra Arceneau Dashiell]

Myra knew Makai was more than a pretty face, but she understood he was making a joke. He did that as well back on Palanhi with the gossiping old biddies, saying that the Dashiell’s were known for their pretty faces.

Although to be fair, Judah was very handsome at his age, and recalling the holo pictures of when he was in his prime, Myra could see just how much of Makai received from the Dashiell side of the family. Makai was very, very pretty. Gorgeous. Unfairly so.

The heiress had to focus on what Makai was saying rather that the eye catching half grin he shot her way. It was so easy to get lost in it. In him. Yet this was serious, and perhaps it was her way to try and calm her anxieties down regarding what it was Makai could handle. Turned out, it was easier to comprehend what he couldn’t.

It was a short list. Myra already knew she wouldn’t emotionally cheat or leave; her entire world was Makai. Had been for a long while now. As for the rest, well — Myra shifter on her seat uncomfortably, recalling how much yelling and shoving she’d done to Makai in the past. Not that she’d intended on doing it now; just that, well, her personality and the way she seemed to always snap at him when he frustrated her was still in the rear of her mind. Making her wonder if he’ll get fed up with her.

Her fingers went back to fiddle with the wine stem, listening to how Makai reinforced that there was nothing in that list that he was concerned about and that anything after that was something they could work on. That made Myra feel better, the knot in her stomach that formed relaxing.

The warmth in her heart, however, only bloomed as much as the delighted blush on her cheeks at hearing that his place was being completely laser focused on her and making their relationship work. To convince her that he wouldn’t and wanted to prove he was worthy to be by her side for the rest of their lives. By then the heiress felt the emotional wave swell and crash and she was caught up in the white surf of it all.

Myra felt the sting in her eyes first. Then Makai’s face began to blur. She caught the brief shadow of concern fill his expression and perhaps he asked if she was okay, but by then she began to cry. Oh they weren’t tears of sadness. Just utter relief. Relief at hearing him say all of those things, countering what the mental maggots in her mind always seemed to feed off her joy and delight, leaving nothing but her insecurities and fears.

Hearing that Makai was serious enough to make sure he went out of his way to immediately talk to her mother, Judah, even her father? It was just… surreal. Too good to be true.

But it was.

 

[Makai Dashiell]

About to continue his conversation, Makai paused, noticing the way she fiddled with the stem of her wine glass, how quiet she had gotten. He was used to comfortable stretches of silence between them but this was different. Was something wrong?

Concern etched over his features as it appeared she was trying to hold herself together, trying not to well up in tears.

"Ellie? Are you okay?"

His answer was more tears from the heiress, falling down her cheeks.

Mouth opened and closed like a fish for a brief moment. He was now kicking himself for making her cry. Makai had a large streak of being oblivious and always didn't pick up on when he needed to just shut up. Mind racked what he had just said, worried something in his words had been amiss.

Great job Makai. Just great. You got to learn to pick up on when to be quiet.

Standing, he went and grabbed a new dinner napkin from the counter, pressing it into her hand so she wouldn't be wiping her eyes with one laden with nuna juices.

"Was the food that bad? We can always get take out."

A lame joke in attempts to make the situation a little better. Hand came to rub her shoulder, still concerned he had made some mistake along the line.

"I'm sorry. No crying, whatever I said I...well, you know I'm an idiot."

 

[Myra Arceneau Dashiell]

A blubbering watering pot. That's what I am, Myra told herself, wiping the tears from her eyes. It was a good thing El-Three had switched her mascara and eyeliner to a waterproof design; otherwise, she'd be crying black tears and ugly crying.

As soon as Makai came over, the heiress lifted her hands up, shaking them from side to side as if to say, no, no, it's okay, it's okay. She even shook her head, dark waves of hair swaying at her back. Her hand went up to cup over Makai's hand that was squeezing her shoulder, doing her best to try and assure him it was alright.

His lame attempt at a joke resulted in a "Pfft" of her wobbly lips and a choked half-laugh amidst the silver rivulets of tears glistening over her cheek. Those were quickly wiped away with the napkin he'd offered her. Finally able to talk, sniffling through her words, Myra explained, "No.... no.. you're not an idiot."

Okay, he could be at times, but not in this instance.

"The food is amazing," she assured him in her quivering voice, trying to laugh out the tears but only resulting in looking comical with her red-rimmed eyes and red nose. Why were there ladies who were blessed with crying so pretty while Myra was stuck looking like a puffy Porg.

"These are happy tears. I swear," She gestulated with her hand, napkin still in hand. Swallowing hard, Myra stared up at Makai. Taking his hand off her shoulder, she gently tugged him down so he'd kneel on one knee beside her. Emotional as she was, she wasn't sure her knees wouldn't give out on her. Ask, and you'll receive the Dashiell immediately coming down close enough so that his face was close enough for Myra to touch.

Leaving her napkin on her lap, Myra gave another sniff, bringing her soft, warm hands up to cup her beloved's face. Ever so gently, she let her thumbs brush across his cheekbones, drinking in the bright clear topaz of his eyes, the shaggy mop of chestnut hair that fell over his brow, but most importantly, above all else, the look of concern and deep, unwavering affection the Half-Galan had for her.

He loved her. Truly. Madly. Deeply.

As she did him as well.

"I love you so, very, very much, Makai Dashiell." Myra reverently assured him with her oath. Her grey eyes mirrored the storm clouds gathering on a dark horizon. They held a tempestuous quality, swirling with hidden intensity that hinted at the depth of emotions the heiress held for the younger Dashiell and more.

"Thank you for tellin' me that," she added, giving another short sniffle before pressing her lips against his. The kiss she gave him was sweet and loving, tinged with the salt of her tears but refined with the joy he gave her as she deepened the kiss, using the act to show him the depth of her love for him. Now and forever more.

 

[Makai Dashiell]

"These are happy tears. I swear," She gestulated with her hand, napkin still in hand.

Ellie had always been a crier. Makai suspected it had came during their youth when she couldn't speak, often frustrated to the point of tears when she couldn't get someone to understand her point. Tears had become a form of communication when her voice simply didn't work.

More than that, the heiress had always been more free with her emotions, a definition of heart-on-your-sleeve. Whatever she was feeling, Ellie had always been keen to express it. Makai noticed now, as adults, she had tempered that quality a bit, yet it was slowly coming back out around him. A testament to the fact she was finally feeling more comfortable about their relationship status, about them as a whole.

Kneeling next to her, hand gently squeezed her knee in quiet support, watching as she tried to regulate herself and draw a deep breath to continue.

"I absolutely adore you. Everything that makes you Ellie, I love more with each passing day."

Makai wasn't sure that was possible before this, when people stated they loved one another more than the day prior, the week before, than years ago. Yet he got it now, understood the sentiment with clarity. Each day he fell hopelessly deeper into the universe that was Myra Elspeth Arceneau, content to be completely hers alone.

Kiss lingered, both getting lost in one another all over again. Hand left her knee, finding her own and interlacing his fingers through hers, weaving together seamlessly as they always did.

Pulling back ever-so-slightly away from her, teasing grin graced the half-Galan's features for his next words.

"No more crying today, at least not this kind."

A squeeze of her hand and some laughter at his own lame attempt to lighten the mood, knowing he was about to be met with a playful slap to his shoulder.

 

[Myra Arceneau Dashiell]

The moment was absolutely perfect. Perfect.

Makai told her he adored and loved her more each passing day. The lingering kiss, the way she felt his breath fan her face, and the utter warmth she felt from interlocking her fingers with his own. Oh, it was just such a wonderful, effervescent feeling. Myra was floating on Cloud Nine, like a lovely little solar ship in Bespin's atmosphere, drifting along the currents of love and affection.

One could see it in Myra's face—the absolute glow of a young woman in love. The moon and the stars shone in her misty grey eyes, and she held her breath, letting the moment linger.

Until utter bafflement and confusion contorted the brunette's expression. Myra gave a doubletake, blinking rapidly as if that would clarify what Makai meant. It didn't.

"What?" taken aback, the dark slashes of her brows furrowed, and she asked in bewilderment, "No more crying of this kind? What other kind is there?" a pause, then an incredulous tone, "You want me to cry sad tears instead?"

One would have begged to wonder if Makai had a kink at watching girls cry, but Myra knew better -- at least, I thought I did. That couldn't be what he meant, right?

 

[Makai Dashiell]

Or not a playful slap as the joke sailed right over her head.

Makai was thoroughly amused now. How could a girl who was so bold behind closed doors also be so naive and innocent at the same time? It was endearing and adorable to see the bewilderment play out across her features, trying to figure out exactly what he meant.

"No,not sad tears."

Fingers slipped away from hers, now sliding up her thigh,dancing along that gray fabric, as if to prove his point about what kind of crying she would be doing later on.

"The kind when we're alone, together, enjoying each other's company... typically a little less clothed..."

 

[Myra Arceneau Dashiell]

Oh. oh!

The light turned on in Myra's head, and her breath caught. As awareness dawned across Myra's features, the entire spectacle was comical, to say the least. There she sat, spikey black lashes still wet with tears; her misty grey eyes suddenly widened into twin swirls of charcoal smoke. Her mouth fell open in astonishment only to snap shut. Blood rushed up her neck and over her face in a ruddy hue. There was no helping it, as she had cried earlier; the additional crimson stain over her face didn't make her look any better, so much for being pretty in front of Makai.

"Oh... I - umm," Myra's fingers curled lightly off Makai's cheeks only to idly dribble along his jawline as she abashedly stammered her dawning understanding of what sort of cry he meant. The thigh in question gave a twitch, and Myra felt a shiver run down her spine.

"... Alright," the heiress finally stuttered out. Needing to keep her hands busy, she let her left-hand trace up by Makai's ear, following the curve of its shell before sinking through his thick tresses again. The soft cushion of her fingerpads threaded over his scalp until they reached the back of his head before starting over again.

"I... I can do that." was it so silly to be excited about that again? Oh, wait, no lunch. They had to finish their lunch. Then Life Day presents.

Right?

 

[Makai Dashiell]

Basking in the feeling of Ellie slipping his hands through his hair, there was a small reflection on how great it was to have her freely pausing throughout their time together to touch him, to brush her fingers through his hair, to give a little reminder of her affection.

Yet he couldn't help another teasing smile forming across his features. Another quip sat right on the tip of his tongue but he refrained from voicing it, instead going a different route.

"I love you Ellie Arceneau, don't change."

A gentle squeeze of her thigh before he got up, off his knee and back into a standing position. There was a clear debate in his head, wondering if they should finish lunch or abscond off for reunification that had gotten derailed between lunch and their overly vocal protocol droids.

Expression softened as he looked her over,taking her in again. Splotchy face and all, she was still absolutely beautiful. Ellie had that effortless, classic, willowy beauty that seemed to ooze from every pore. Graceful and elegant, yet she was quite humble and easy going. Not something one saw in such a combination every day.

"I'm sure you want to finish lunch before....? Not sure what you have planned, I keep hearing of all this talk about a bathtub."

 

[Myra Arceneau Dashiell]

"I love you Ellie Arceneau, don't change."

Was it silly to want to hear those words all the time? To feel all giddy and excited at the fact that Makai Dashiell, her childhood best friend, the boy she fell in love with at age ten, tell her that he loves her and didn't want her to change?

It was just such a wonderful feeling of affirmation that despite the red-rimmed eyes and blotchy face from her crying bout, one could practically see the glow perk up her color and overall aura. The little pleased wiggle in her chair that swayed her shoulders certainly sold it.

At least until Makai mentioned the talk about the bathtub. Sure enough, the mortified flush over her face was enough to give a hint that perhaps there was more to the story regarding that. Both hands covered her mouth, eyes growing as wide as silver coins.

"OH!... Umm..." At a loss for words, the heiress stammered in bashful embarrassment, her words slightly muffled until she dropped her hands from her face, stammering, "I'll... tell you later. How about we have dinner and then open our Life Day presents?"

To be honest, if Myra really took the time to consider it, she really wanted Makai to open the presents she brought for him first. The heiress had held them for so long, waiting, longing, hoping yet at the same time dreading the time she'd be able to present them to him. Every year that had passed without him coming home had been a nail in the proverbial coffin of their seemingly cast-off friendship.

Being able to rectify that now would be part of the healing process Myra needed to feel as if things were on their way to being fully set right.

 

[Makai Dashiell]

He thought it both adorable and hilarious that she was suddenly embarrassed about sharing a bathtub. Considering they had already seen one another in all forms, curiosity was piqued about what made her plans so bashful. El-Three had mentioned some show earlier, The Dunaan, wait...wasn't that a video game? and somehow the entire bathtub played into that.

All he knew was he saw it was queued up on their joint Holoflix account as a 'to-watch' show after they had got through The Great Bothan Bake-Off .

"Alright, you're in charge. Just keep me on schedule."

A quick kiss on her temple before pouring some more wine in her glass, moving back to take his seat across from her, still mulling over what was so interesting about a bathtub scene from a Holoflix show.

Not one for Life Day, or winter fetes, birthdays, or any real holiday, Makai was serious when he stated she would be in charge of their activities. To him, today was just a day to enjoy her presence, have a romantic dinner, and spend quality time together.

Sitting down, fork was picked back up, settling back into their meal. There was still gomgourd pie after all, but maybe they would save that for when they were lying in bed watching a movie.

"Oh...I forgot to mention, once I figure out where I'm staying I'll let you know. Figure I'd just rent a penthouse somewhere for now."

 

[Myra Arceneau Dashiell]

Plan in place, the pair resumed their lunch. Once again, Myra was amazed at the meal and the cooking skill reflected in the selection of the dishes. The nuna roast was moist and savory, with delicious herby skin. The roasted vegetables and the potato au grain simply devine; the cheese sauce coated her mouth. Even the selection of wine was on point, enhancing the savory flavors of the meal while also indulging Myra’s love for the full bodied, jammy wines, bursting with a flavor profile of black currents, sweet oak, and just a touch of spice.

One could very well get used to this, Myra mused. However, she was sure it took significant planning. Would he be tired?

Myra knew Makai never was as enthused for Lifeday or his birthday as much as she was. Year after year, the brunette did her best to try and help him at least enjoy his time with her and the family. Perhaps that’s why Myra took her time every year to find him presents that conveyed how much thought Myra put into them. It seemed the only way to bring a smile to Makai’s face, not realizing it was really Myra’s reaction and joy in giving it to him as much as her presence that he reveled in.

At the mention of a penthouse, Myra glanced up over the rim of her wine glass. She took a sip, savoring the wine before musing quietly, considering.

“Where are you looking at renting a penthouse then,” and how far away will you be, came the unsaid question.

The temptation to offer her guest bedroom rose. To see him in her apartment on Chandrilla. Have him close again like when they were in the farm.

Oh how did it ever tease and tempt her with the desire to offer it.

However, the heiress waited in what she hoped didn’t appear to be too much of eager anticipation on what he’d say next.

 

[Makai Dashiell]

The selling of his place on Palanhi happened a littler faster than expected. During his round of golf with his former fraternity roommate, Makai had mentioned needing to get rid of it. Palanhi, being a powerhouse world in banking and stocks, was of great interest to the Tanau family.

Harlon had bought the bachelor pad on the spot while Makai was fighting his way out of a sandtrap.

Since then, a company came in and crated his personal effects, placing them in a massive warehouse facility until he could actually find a place to live again.

Makai had seriously considered Borelias, having bought an island there. However, the more he thought and considered, long-term it wouldn't be prudent. He didn't want to go to the trouble of building something only for Ellie to disagree and want to live somewhere else once they were married.

Granted, that was a few years away, but the point still stood. His next move and decisions would have to include her input. A tricky spot to be in, considering he refused to mention moving in together again.

He wasn't being stubborn. It was more he had laid out a poorly thought argument and she had said no. Makai was to respect her wishes. Yet it wasn't stopping him from laying groundwork of what living together entailed. To show what she was missing out on by continuing to remain apart.

"To be honest, I haven't had the time to consider it. A bit of a whirlwind, I just had my stuff packed up and placed in storage. I've been too busy to give it great thought."

The complete truth, since Naboo life had been a whirlwind. There was no time to consider logistics of the ideal planet near her, nor sort through short-term penthouse listings.

"I've just been living out of my luggage and whatever hotel is on the planet where work takes me. Or just living on the ship I borrowed."

Makai had borrowed a Sathe Challenger Sport from his father, giving it the incredibly nerdy name of Igneous is Bliss, which made him chuckle every time he stepped aboard.

"Suggestions?"

 

[Myra Arceneau Dashiell]

Myra bit her lower lip, gnawing on it as she pondered and mulled over Makai's situation. She took a few more bites of the roasted Nuna, chewing thoughtfully. If Makai wanted her to think about living with him again by scattering breadcrumbs of bait and letting her come to terms by herself how good it would be, then he was successful. With every day that passed, especially after that wonderful week at Naboo, it was easy for the heiress to daydream and fantasize.

The only issue is that Myra was her own worst enemy with what-ifs and maybes.

"How long do you think you'll need before you find a place?" she asked, smoky grey eyes lifting up to lock on ice-blue, watching him take another sip from his wine, seeming to mull over the question.

"Or is it up in the air for now?"

 

[Makai Dashiell]

"It just depends. Are you speaking of something temporary or permanent?"

It was an odd limbo to be in. Not for himself, sleeping aboard the Bliss and living out a vessel was typical for him. Makai had lived in a tiny,cramped can of a mining survey shuttle and before that, a room at a fraternity house with a roommate. He could just as easily live anywhere as long as he had a bed and bathroom at this point.

"Temporary I can find any place. We have this downtime together, I could find one tonight if I tried."

Makai didn't like to be on his comm or datapad when they were together. They had such little time he tried to maximize it by focusing on her and the moment. Not to say it was a hard rule, just something he tried to avoid.

"Permanent will take longer. I need to continue researching planets around the Core, and just haven't had the time to make a short list."

 

[Myra Arceneau Dashiell]

Indecision rose, twisting Myra's belly.

"I meant temporary until you find a new place -- and no, I'd rather you not spend time looking for a place to stay tonight when I would much rather be kissing you senseless." Hey, a bit of honesty there, albeit relayed with a coral blush on Myra's cheeks.

"Well.." she began, fingers dribbling from the stem of her wine glass to the side of the bowl, her fingernails giving a little melodic drum. Myra shifted on her seat, leaning forward a bit, while her other hand nervously did their best to tuck stray hairs behind the shell of her ear. On one hand, she could have Makai near her while he looked for a permanent solution. On the other, she had said she wanted to wait. Did this count? He had brought up a good point that they'd lived in rooms right across from each other for years. Plus, the thought of him living out of a ship was... well, didn't seem comfortable to her. It was always good to have a place to go to. Not have to settle on a ship. It just wasn't the same. She was practically humming with energy that didn't know where to go until finally --

" Why not stay with me?" the blush over her cheeks darkened, and her eyes went darting from her wine glass to Makai's face, then back down again,"I have a spare guest bedroom... while you look for a new place that is."

Anxious silver-glinted eyes would draw back up to meet the surprise on Makai's face, and she quickly rushed in to add. "That's if you want to!"

 

[Makai Dashiell]

Makai blinked.

Did he hear correctly. Move in with her? After all she stated about waiting? About feeling as if moving in together wasn't the best idea at the time? Granted, it was his own fault, having a speech about taking things slow before that.

This was before they had started to mesh together as well as they currently were. While there were still a number of missteps, Makai never expected it would be so easy to be with her. Natural as breathing.

Surprised was an understatement. He could be knocked over with a feather at this point.

"Yeah, I would love to, thank you."

Makai felt like he was stammering for the right words to say.

"I promise I won't disturb your typical routine."

 

[Myra Arceneau Dashiell]

"Just until you can find your new place... would be easier to do so from the Core, and Chandrilla is right there..." Myra was babbling. She knew it. Makai knew it. It was an excuse. Perhaps a poorly hidden excuse, but still one.

"And I know you won't... I'll also be traveling around for MaraTibx, so... may not really see each other much more than we do now...." Of course, that depended on how El-Three scheduled her conferences, meetings, and site visits. If we spent more time together, well, that wouldn't be bad at all...

"I just hope you don't mind being on Chandrila for a bit." There was a pause, "And you agreed without seeing my place first, so... who knows, maybe my guest bedroom is the size of my closet back on the Farm." She teased.

But that backfired as she immediately thought of that one time in the closet again. Her grey eyes went wide, and she tried to hide her hitch of breath with another large drink from her wine.

"So... how do you like wine now?" Change the topic! Change the topic!

 

[Makai Dashiell]

Makai listened to the babbling,the justification for him moving in for a bit. Personally, he didn't seen the need for making excuses. They were both adults who had known each other for most of their lives, what they decided was really no one's business as to why or how. He would also be traveling for work, so it wasn't as if he expected to cohabitate in the normal manner.

Although it was going to be nice on their mutual days off together to relax in a space they didn't have to worry about packing up and leaving.

"I won't even take my clothes out of my luggage."

Except his suits. Thirty-Seven had been on a tear complaining about wrinkles and creases and the need to constantly steam the fabric to lay the correct way.

"I have been to your place, when I picked you up to go to Naboo. Seemed fine then...and besides, your closet on the Farm is bigger than what I lived in during university."

Granted, when he picked her up from Chandrila he had sat in the living room and waited while she packed. Makai had zero idea what the rest of the place looked like, just the outside and the one room. It didn't matter, he was, in his opinion, fairly easy to please in that regard. So long as he had a bed.

Meal finished, Makai was focused on her, watching her get animated about the closet before turning to a safer subject.

"Not bad...I'm starting to tell the difference with some of them. I can definitely tell this one cost a lot more."

He had splurged on a few bottles of a rare vintage. It was easy to see why it was a limited and expensive commodity.

 

[Myra Arceneau Dashiell]

Myra had one last bite before she finished her meal, eyes rolling over at Makai at his exaggeration. "You can take your clothes out of your luggage, you monkey-lizard."

Now, it was back to childhood name-calling. Mainly because Makai was being a smart-ass, and he knew it.

"Just...get comfortable. I'd rather you stay with me than live out of your ship," this was a genuine concern for Myra, despite how familiar or comfortable Makai would be with the situation.

As for the wine, Myra chuckled, figuring out that he could tell which one cost more, "Yes, with quality, the price may rise accordingly. However, some are pretty economical and still good for enjoying out on the deck or in front of a fireplace."

A pause.

"Or, in a bathtub." As Myra had experienced herself, many, many times.

"Anyways... how about we clean up and you can open your presents!" The giddiness returned to the heiress, already becoming excited on the prospect of seeing Makai open them.