Private Moment of Truth

[Elryn Freestar]

The clone subconsciously accepted the crystal, averting his gaze and stared off into space with a lamentful expression. Although the situation was partially resolved, the boy couldn't help but still feel like an empty shell, soulless - despite Yenna's earlier words of encouragement. She was probably right, but it was hard to fight his feelings on the matter. Feeling his sleeve brush across his skin as Yenna tugged on it, he returned his attention to her and looked at her for a few seconds before getting up to his feet.

Following the small Jedi back to the ship, from the moment they left and to when they got back on the ship, the clone consecutively replayed the memories he'd unlocked over and over again. "I'm not hungry..." he answered before trudging along into his quarters. Closing the door behind him, the lost boy stood in the middle of his cramped room and slumped his self on his bed. Leaning his back against the wall, slouched, the Kiffar let one of his legs hang over the bed.

Sighing, his chestnut eyes stared at the colorless wall in front of him. He spent the next few hours soul searching, that tended to happen when your entire sense of self was destroyed in an instant. He needed to distance himself from his past, from just being another number... another thing to his creators. Knowing the reason behind his tattoo, behind his 'name' - he resented it, its link to Insatious and how it made him feel like a tool for use. He wasn't that, not anymore at least, becoming a Jedi and becoming Yenna's Padawan made him someone else, made him better.

The clone, in order to start feeling like an actual person, he had to wipe the slate clean. And he knew just how to start.

Getting off his bed, the clone exited his quarters and searched for his Master around the ship. When he found her, the Kiffar entered slightly, standing in between the doorframe, he stood upright and puffed his chest out. "I... have an announcement." he started, consciously timing his breathing "I don't-- I don't want to be called Eleven anymore. It was a serial number used for where I was in the cloning order - I'm not that anymore. I'm more than a clone. I'm a person... and I need my own name." pausing, the clone averted his gaze and bit his lower lip as he grew slightly self-conscious about the name he wanted for himself.

"I want to be called Elryn. Elryn Freestar." the 'Free' part was a bit on the nose, but he didn't care - he was his own person and he wanted the whole galaxy to know. He was free.

Yenna

 

[Yenna]

Yenna stood and watched silently as El simply brushed off her offer and left for his room. She stood in place for a long time on the counter, unsure of what to do. She was lost. And now when she desperately wanted to talk to Cas, he was not there anymore. Even the situation surrounding him left her confused. Was it still the Cas she knew? Was it simply an illusion? Or was all of it false and her faith in him was little more than wishful thinking?

Like a ghost she made herself lunch, enough for two in case he was hungry later. She made a jug of juice from fresh fruits, in case he got thirsty. But as Yenna's thoughts replayed what happened, that bowl sat in front of her and a bottle of vodka accompanied the jug of juice.

She didn't know how to fix it. She didn't know who to talk to. All she wanted was to protect her boy, give him a life of his own without needing to know the truth. That he was simply a copy of someone dear to her. Some cruel joke from the Force. She was broken, a sobbing mess stuffing her face with stir fry and drowning her sorrows with a spiked juice. She wanted to scream, ask for help and figure out how to make things right, but she had nobody to talk to. Nobody who would understand her or El. Adrian was gone, Cas was gone, Frumpy was gone, and everyone else looked down on them. Even Mathieu wasn't above such cruel thoughts. She took another sobbing bite and downed another glass.

She wasn't sure when he finally emerged, but by the time he stepped into the doorway the bowl was halfway gone and the jug was almost finished. Yenna looked up and wiped her tears away as her breath was caught in her chest. She didn't know what to expect, but her hopes were low.

"I want to be called Elryn. Elryn Freestar."

Yenna sniffed and wiped at her eyes again. A few moments later, a warm smile formed on her lips. "Elryn Freestar..." She muttered softly. The surname wasn't lost on her, but it was his choice and she wasn't going to step on that. "Beautiful, it is. Also, still works, the nickname." She chuckled softly as she pushed the bowl away. "Some getting used to, it will take... but..." She nodded with another sniff. "Proud, I am. I love you, El. My own children, I shall never have. But... fond of you, I have grown. I... a son, you are like, to me. And... hurt you, I never wanted to." She started to sniffle again.

"For you, I care. And... I..." Tears rolled again as she stood up rather shakily. "Free, you are. And..." She walked to the edge, her arms outstretched to give him a hug. "Soar, you wi-" Her attempt to jump off and hug him failed miserably as she fell off the couch and her face smashed into the floor of the ship with a loud 'thud.'

There she laid, either knocked out or too drunk and disoriented to move. But the smile on her face didn't leave her for even a moment. He was free, and that was all that mattered...

Elryn Freestar