Private Monster

[Mia Monroe]

Mia smiled through her tears at his jest. Maybe love was too cliché, but it was true. "Perhaps." She agreed softly her chin coming to rest on his head as she rocked gently. Falling quietly into her thoughts and fears.

It would be fates cruel will to take him from her too, to yet again tear a child away from her, it wouod have been the most painful too, for all the others had simply turned away, unable to bear what she had become, but Malum? He didn't care, more than that, he understood why she was the way she was, he didn't question her morality because he knew that whatever she did, whatever sacrifice she made, it was for the greater good.

"Ni kar'taylir gar gai asas ner adiik. Bal asas ner adiik gar ganar subr suum kaysh. Gar ganar tkiriyr be ka'ne at gar norac.

 

[Darth Malum of House Marr]

Malum could only smile, even as his sobs calmed, even as his tears dried, his grip on her was ever firm, a smile easily upon his face, he knew any other man would be burning green with envy at his position, yet, as he was rocked back and forth gently, comfortingly, he hardly thought of such a thing.

It was not something talked much about in those books he had read so long ago, but this woman, this truly old warrior, though she hardly looked it, had been a mother, and far beyond those she adopted so caringly underneath her wide wings, she was a mother to a child of her blood. And Malum knew, firsthand the deep tragedy she had faced, a ghost once haunting her.

Malum did not know how she took it... if his...

His breath hitched.

The pain in his heart never went away, yet... every day, to his guilt, he thought of that lone tombstone atop that hill, shielded by the sun's rays by a singular great oak, less and less.

All to say... it was hard to imagine, that this woman who despite all appearance, that despite how long it had all been, still held such natural maternal instincts, and in this moment, he could not be more happier, that they were turned his way. So much was wrong, so much was wrong in the galaxy, so much was wrong in his own life, and in this moment, he just needed a comfort that he could not find in the flesh, but in the heart.

Even as he felt utterly guilty for using another's mother, even if he considered her...

His ears flicked up at her words, taking a moment to decipher them, though a proficient enough speaker... he would not call himself a natural, but her words were enough to bring about a wider smile nonetheless, "Ni doubt te spirits be te manda Kelir Haili cetare gaa'taylir a darjetii," It was awkward, it was stunted, he was certain he had gotten something wrong, yet he persevered, even as his cheeks held the faintest pink complexion, "A... vor entye, buir." The more he said, the more warm he felt.

He did not know how this had occurred.

But he could not let it go, even as he had missed the full weight of her words.

Mia Monroe

 

[Mia Monroe]

Mia felt a shiver of anger run through the back of her mind that wasn't hers, that rose the hairs on the back of her neck as her sapphire eyes darkened. But the spirits had no place here, they had no say in who she chose to be her children. She would forever ignore their demands to kill him.

I am Mandalore the Liberator, twice named and repeatedly shunted back into this world to fix the mess our children create. I will name him as my son and you will be silent.

They stilled, retreating from her again as she looked down at Malum's wide smile. She realised he did not understand. That he had no idea what had happened, what she had just declared. She wondered for a moment if she should explain, but decided that he would come to understand in time.

"Gar ru uhyih shi a darjetii, gar cuyir a darjetii meg ganar otira be kaysh miai at gaa'tayl waryida cuun dahymamika asas a adate. Ibac, cuyir e'ne be etie temya'a"

Darth Malum of House Marr

 

[Darth Malum of House Marr]

He quirked an eyebrow at the reaction to his words, the smile fading from his lips, quickly reviewing what exactly he had said, he could not help the moment of panic that flashed across his rubies, as his heart noticeably beat a second faster. What had he done to have her eyes darken in such a way? He swallowed, the protrusion by his neck bobbing like an apple at a fair, as suddenly, everything felt far too hot.

Yet, even as his instincts demanded it, his body motioned for it, he did not break away from her embrace. They were far beyond the overreactions, the misunderstandings, whatever it was, whatever she had seen, whatever she remembered.

He would trust her.

Whatever it was, it faded quickly enough, as she stared down upon him, speaking words that it took him a few moments to translate, words which understood, he could not help but return his smile, "Ni doubt birov Mando'ade Ru'kel aalar te adla" He countered, none of them would know that it was he who had warned the Protectors of the attack upon Mo- Mandalore.

It was for the best that neither the Mo- Mandalorians nor Sith knew, yet, it still felt... odd in some way.

Mia Monroe

 

[Mia Monroe]

Mia let out a sigh, brushing a strand of hair from his face. “No, but then they are ignorant fools who can't see beyond the ends of their beskads. They see only war and bloodshed. They are blind to the endless cycle we are stuck in, and the few that are? They’ve lost all hope in changing things, turning their backs to focus on their clans and houses individually. We are, and always will be a broken people.”

So what was the point of her being here anymore?

Without thought, her gaze drifted back to the table, to the blaster and its promise of relief…of peace. She became acutely aware of Malum’s arms around her, of the way his fingers had dug into her desperately, needing her. She could not leave. She could not be this disgraceful mess she had allowed her self-pity to haul her into.

Gently she unwrapped her arms from him and peeled his grip from her to sit him upright so she could look at him properly. “You should not have had to find me like this.” She reached to brush tears from his face. “I am sorry I abandoned you. It will not happen again. My people no longer need me, but you do.”

Darth Malum of House Marr

 

[Darth Malum of House Marr]

He would admit to no one the shiver that went up his skin, the tremor that went down his spine, at the simple touch of her fingers across his raven locks. His hair had always been sensitive in that regard, privately he had joked to himself that he must have been a cat or a dog in some past life, for after all, how else would be so weak to the simple act of someone caressing his hair?

It was unfortunately a trait that all his lovers who learned of it were far too willing to use against him, as he melted into nothingness at their mere touch.

Yet, it seemed that Mia did not know that... yet... and as she was distracted by talking, perhaps he could keep it that way, "...Are you... are you... okay with that?" Malum questioned, as much concerned for her as with a musing question. If his people had been brought to such a state of disunity, broken utterly, he was unsure if he could ever countenance leaving them to roll around in the dirt.

Especially, if he was amongst the few with the reputation, the feats, and the history, to be capable of uniting them. She had been Mand'alor, a controversial Mand'alor certainly, a Mand'alor who had lost her war decades ago, only to be brought back now, yet... still a Mand'alor, still a leader of her people.

To simply watch them go down a path she disagreed with... could he be capable of doing that?

Her gaze left him towards the table, and he followed, as her eyes found the blaster... his grip firmed up. They only grew even more so, as her arms unwrapped from his form, as his eyes swivelled to face hers, with the barest amount of fear and concern painted upon his features. Expressions faded into that of betrayal, as slowly, with only silent protest, his own arms were forced to let go.

She still faced him, but now...

...All felt so cold.

"...Yet, I did..." He replied, a hint of hurt in his tone, even as he found himself leaning into her fingers, as she brushed the remnants of tears from his face, her last words, were enough for him to blink, rubies meeting sapphires, as he tilted his head, "...I could not ask that of you... your people still need you, M-" His nostrils blew hot air, "...Buir."

Outside the context of Mando'a... it felt somehow both wrong, and entirely right.

Mia Monroe

 

[Mia Monroe]

Mia sighed at his question. "No of course not, but I am also powerless to change it. My duty was to give them a foundation from which to build their future. What path they take and how they take it is no longer in my power to control, nor should it be. I am from a bygone age, what I want for them is no longer relevant."

She studied his face for a moment, tear-stained cheeks flushed with pink, ruby eyes both filled with despair and hope. "No, they don't," she repeated softly the ghost of a smile touching her lips at his fumbling over calling her buir.

"If you ask it of me, I will return with you to Sith space."

Darth Malum of House Marr

 

[Darth Malum of House Marr]

Mia Monroe might be the one exception to the rule of immortal tyrants, it was little wonder that they had been brought together... no. They had found each other, in the worst of circumstances that had made him wish to destroy her utterly, but through their own decisions, beyond the will of some God, they had found each other, one who so hated immortal tyrants, one who held utter capability to be one.

Yet, now, he could hardly imagine any possibility of hating her, and her... despite the capability, despite the potential will, despite the want, she did not use her immortality, her decades of knowledge, her honed skills, to take her place amongst her people, to lead them as her vision pronounced. No... she respected them ever still, respected their ability to decide, protecting them as a lioness protected their cubs, and yet simply watching, as the cubs grew and made their own mistakes.

To learn and learn again, as time moved past them all.

"...You remain ever amongst the best of those leaders who have returned to this plain," Malum offered, a ghost of a smile taking providence upon his features. She was the one exception to all which he believed, perhaps that was evidence he was false... yet, it could just as easily mean that she in the best of all ways, was false herself. All the while, his hands, detesting the notion of leaving her warmth, were brought back, to clean away the wear and tear of his face.

He blinked, then blinked again, and for good measure he blinked once more. Her, come to Sith space?

"...And what would you do in Sith space?" He questioned, even as his heart began to beat faster, even as a warmth filled him, yet still... it was quickly gone.

The Kaggath loomed ever closer.

Mia Monroe

 

[Mia Monroe]

Mia laughed at his compliment, of all the leaders that had been brought back to this plain she was the weakest, the one with the least influence and power. But perhaps that was his point. "You're sweet for saying so." She replied, even if she did not share in that belief.

"I made you a promise," she began in answer to his question, "that I would help you eradicate those in your path. I cannot do that from crusader space, nor can I do it from here. I can only do that from within sith space."

It was stepping into a nest of vipers. They would have to tread carefully, perhaps even conceal her identity and force signature fornthere were those that were acutely familiar with who she was. But these were small setbacks, easily overcome.

Darth Malum of House Marr

 

[Darth Malum of House Marr]

Malum narrowed his eyes at the reply, "It is true. You are amongst the only of this century who have contented themselves with protecting their people, providing them stable foundation, but otherwise allowing them to rule themselves, who else could you name that would despite their immortality, their decades of experience, wisdom, and knowledge been willing to do that?" He spoke in rebuttal to an argument that she had not even presented, yet, he could not help himself now, "Even the great Valery Noble could not hold herself from the temptation. She who is from another era entirely, she who pushed herself forward as Grandmaster of the New Jedi Order. They see themselves in positions of such greatness, that they cannot imagine a galaxy without them, Kaine, Braxus, Darth Solipsis, and so many others. They are all alike, playing the same games against each other that they have played for decades, believing they are any closer to victory, when for so long they have failed, sacrificing the lives of their mortal subjects when there is no risk for their immortal selves, never believing those same mortal subjects, risen with lessons from the past, burning with ambition, could ever achieve what they could not." He blinked as he concluded, finding his mouth had gone dry, speaking of all which he had kept in his mind, finally able to draw it out towards one of the few that might so keenly understand.

Yet still, as his rant concluded, he had the good graces to blush, gazing away, stammering an apology underneath his breath.

It provided her with the opportunity to speak further about her intentions, words which he certainly liked the sound of, yet... to bring a Mo- Mandalorian to Sith space, that would certainly be beyond the level of treason that he normally toed the line of, it would be ramming straight through it, leaving few survivors. Then on the other hand... he might not live long enough for it to matter.

Then of course too, simply the matter of an uncertainty of if he wanted Mand'alor the Liberator, to be running amok in Sith space... it was different when she targetted those of a military nature, who else was in some way a threat to her people, yet this... it would be most innocent of them all.

Yet, if she were to become part of his Tsis'Kaar... if she were to be on his side in a real sense, even secretly, her strength united with his... it was difficult not to imagine, all which they could do.

"...And what exactly do you intend to do?"

Mia Monroe

 

[Mia Monroe]

Mia was quiet as he spoke, unmoving, until he turned away murmuring apologies, she reached again for his chin, lifting his gaze back to her's. "Don't ever apologise for speaking your mind, Malum," her words were firm but her expression soft. "I was one of those people. I did not believe that my people could survive without me at their helm. After the civil war…watching all those people pass through the nether. Knowing that I was the catalyst, if not the cause, was more than enough to humble me. They are better without me. So I will do what I should have always done, and I will protect them from those that they don't yet see coming."

She let go of his chin and slowly got to her feet, steadying herself with a hand on the kitchen counter as the room spun. She was still drunk, but she was coherent, capable of laying a path out mentally. "I can't return with you as myself, I'll need an alias…a disguise and something to dull my force signature. Kaine will smell me a mile off otherwise. After that?"

She reached a hand down to him to help him to his feet. "I will watch. Get the lay of the land. No point striking at anyone blind."

Darth Malum of House Marr

 

[Darth Malum of House Marr]

He had little opportunity to be embarrassed by his outburst, as instead he was embarrassed as her hands gently gripped around his chin, and pulled his face upwards, to gaze into her sapphire orbs. An audible gulp echoed the walls, as the protrusion in his throat bobbed up and down like an apple in a barrel in some summer fair. It was moments like this, that despite the words which he called this woman, as the red brushed his cheeks.

It was a reminder that she was not that, not through blood anyway, and that... she was a very beautiful woman. It was hardly a new realisation, it was something which he knew, accepted, and did not give much more thought to, such was what would occur again today... yet, for all that, she was holding him in this compromising position.

He had always held a complicated visage of her... it only reinforced that notion, as he almost missed all her words, breaking from the stupor, as the blood drained from his eardrums.

"...For all the heights I have achieved in the Order, it seems more and more I am silent in expressing my thoughts," He mused with a sad sort of smile, listening ever attentively to her continued words, "...Whatever your reasons, you have done a great thing," Even if this new generation of Mor- Mandalorians, seemed exactly the kind which Braxus had turned out...

...For all which he had reached out to the Protectors, he had achieved very little, apart from his personal relationships. He doubted he would even have a facsimile's worth of the same success with the Crusaders.

He blinked, as the warmth left his chin, missing it, while the blush deepened, waving away the thoughts he should not be having, "I can help with that, you can probably imagine but..." He had long gone from being ashamed of it, but to be prideful was another, "...Deception is one of my strong points," There was no hesitation as he reached out for her offered hand, the sound of their clasping echoing the walls, as he was pulled out, as his free hand went to hers, steadying her, as still the alcohol smelt heavy from her lips.

Her final words triggered one singular thought in his mind, "...Will you watch the Kaggath?"

Mia Monroe

 

[Mia Monroe]

Mia couldn't help but chuckle. To think that he needed to state such a thing considering how they had met... her mind drifted back over all their conversations, all their fights and secrets shared. Emotion swelled in her chest as she settled a hand on his shoulder, as his question broke the moment of contentedness in her mind.

She swallowed. He needed her to be steadfast in this moment, to believe in him where he could not believe in himself. "Yes, ad'ika, I will watch your kaggath, in person if I can. If not, from whatever safehouse you have for me."

They had a lot to do between now and then, though first, she needed to sober up...and clean up.

Darth Malum of House Marr

 

[Darth Malum of House Marr]

Her laughter was music to his ears, after having not seen her in so long, and seeing her in the state she had been in. Laughter... laughter truly was the balm to all wounds, his gaze rested upon the hand upon his shoulder. Touch to him was... it was not something commonly expressed among family, touch was always something far more... intimate.

Yet, now he had two very different women in his life who were far beyond the considerations of... that kind of intimacy, who held little compulsion in not touching him. That, as difficult as it was to explain, were... in many ways as, as he was uncomfortable to admit out loud totally, as much mother to him as his real mother. In some way, in the depths of privacy that he would never admit, more, in some instances... he could discuss with them to a greater degree the true reasons for why he was hurting on the inside.

Even then, he was so often one to keep secrets.

He offered a sad sort of smile at her answer, "...You do not have to, if it proves too much," He offered her a way out, "...And if I fall... what is it you will do? I do not want to see you back in this state, or I swear to Bogan, I will haunt you." He tried to firm up his smile, he tried to make a jape, he doubted he succeeded in either measure.

Mia Monroe
Mentioned: Srina Talon

 

[Mia Monroe]

Mia couldn't blame him for his belief that she would not be able to cope, she wasn't exactly the picture of stability right now. Truth be told, if she asked herself whether she could sit back and watch another child die…the idea made her feel sick. She closed her eyes briefly, swallowing the lump of emotion that had risen suddenly, before opening them and meeting Malum's ruby gaze.

"Yes I do." she said softly. "For not being there…not seeing it and finding out first hand if you should…" she shook her head, her hand squeezing his shoulder as she forced her own smile. "You won't fall."

She had to believe that, because the alternative left her heart feeling hollow. And while she could make a promise to not return to this, she could make no promise about the long trail of bodies she would leave in her wake should he fall. She'd not only kill the man who stood against him, but anyone and everyone who might stand in her way.

Darth Malum of House Marr

 

[Darth Malum of House Marr]

For but a moment he feared that he might have said the wrong thing, her sapphires closing themselves off from the world in a timespan far beyond that of a blink. Her laughter which had so heartened him fell away to distant memory, as he would give much to only bear witness to what thoughts were going through her mind. Of course, he had that capability...

...But he had long since learned never to use it upon Mia Monroe.

Sapphires revealed themselves again, meeting his rubies and stealing his breath for a second with the intensity and fire of the gaze. His eyes snapped to his shoulder at the firmness of the squeeze, he breathed out, a weight upon his shoulders lessened with the support she gave him, what could they not do together?

All apart from winning a Kaggath he supposed, that he would have to do all alone.

"I wish I had your confidence, buir," He offered with a wry grin, privately he confessed with a hollowed-out heart... she did not seem to have that much confidence in him either, "...You fought him once before haven't you?" It had been both amusing and stress-inducing when they had both separately told him that they had fought against each other on Feriae Junction, "...Have any advice?" It would be rather embarrassing if he went forth to impending doom, without using all the tools which he had at his disposal.

One of them being all the knowledge and experience of one as renowned as Mand'alor the Liberator.

Mia Monroe

 

[Mia Monroe]

Mia furrowed her brow, trying to recall her own fight with this Strosius but came up short of anything significant and shrugged. "He wasn't anything to write home about from what I can recall. Easy to anger, and while anger is a helpful boost in the dark side, it can leave someone off balance if not controlled. Aside from that?"

She shook her head. "Didn't seem to like fire much." Her gaze flicked back to Malum "I'm sure you know more about him and his abilities than I do considering you were co apprentices." she gave his shoulder another squeeze before letting go and making her way back to the couch dropping heavily into it.

"You don't need my help to beat him." her head tipped back against the sofa and she closed her eyes going quiet for a moment before they snapped open again. "Killing kin is not easy, Malum. It will eat away at you for decades to come, no matter how justified it was. So be certain, when you deliver the final blow, and don't hesitate."

Darth Malum of House Marr

 

[Darth Malum of House Marr]

He parsed his lips, it was unfortunate that she did not know more, but perhaps expecting it after one encounter would be asking for much, after all, as far as he knew Ali- Darth Strosius did not do anything in their contest of arms that was truly above note, no Sangnir warform, no regeneration, really, the only thing that might have been notable enough to Mand'alor the Liberator was... well, the fact he survived the encounter.

Not even the mask would be too interesting, there were many masked Sith Lords after all.

"That sounds like Darth Strosius," Malum let out a sigh, his eyes snapping to his shoulder as she comfortingly squeezed, his eyes softening somewhat, "Yet he is a Sith Lord, and despite an inability to keep his mouth shut, amongst the more powerful of them, even if he finds himself on the losing side of many battles," He let out another sigh, knowing this would not be one of those instances where he would jibe after Ali- Darth Strosius after another defeat.

Ali- Darth Strosius would bring all to bear in this instance, a pattern of existence which had him so often battle so much harder, so much fiercer against his fellow Sith, rather than their true enemies in the Jedi, or the like. Of course, to his co-apprentice, no doubt his fellow Sith at times were the true enemies.

...Malum had never thought to count himself amongst them.

He blinked those thoughts away as another squeeze bounded his shoulder, before the comfortable warmth was given way to the coldness of absence, her words fluttering across the air, as she took a seat by the nearby couch.

"...Not wrong, I simply... do not wish to take any chances with this, another set of eyes usually proves helpful," He spoke, an attempt at a smile withering away with how... forlorn his voice sounded even to him.

Which only grew worse, when the last of her words truly struck him.

"...I..." How would she react to this? Would she call him an idiot? He did not know... but... if anyone deserved to know... "...I... do not intend to slay him... the Kaggath does not necessarily demand I do, I do not know his intentions, not clearly... but if I could simply defeat him..." He trailed off, fully aware of how uncertain he sounded.

How weak he sounded.

Mia Monroe
Mentioned: Darth Strosius

 

[Mia Monroe]

Mia watched him, her expression contemplative as he stumbled over his intentions. To go into this Kaggath without conviction or certainty of his intention was dangerous. She patted the sofa next to her inviting him to sit.

"You must assume the worst where his intentions are concerned. To do anything less is to sign your own death certificate." she said softly "Regardless of what has been between you in the past, you both stand to lose everything, not just your lives but everything you have worked to gain. He is a sith, first and foremost and sith will do anything to keep hold of their power. that rule should apply to you too, Malum."

She did not think him a fool, killing family was far from easy, adopted or otherwise yet sometimes it was necessary. Sometimes the sacrifice you made served the greater good. She swallowed thinking for a moment. "Tell me something, if you do not kill him in this very public display and show mercy instead, what would that say to the rest of your Order watching?"

Darth Malum of House Marr

 

[Darth Malum of House Marr]

The invitation to the sofa was clear enough intention that he was not about to be lectured, for that, he allowed himself a mental sigh of relief. For all that he had seemingly gotten himself adopted by different powerful women, he did hope to mostly only enjoy the benefits of being mothered, rather than all that might be considered more of a disciplinary flavour.

Alas, considering the power which they wielded, the care he held for their opinions, and his own... well despite being Dark Councillor of the Sith Empire, there were few which he felt ever cowed by at times.

Mia Monroe was on that small list.

"I do not think you exactly count as an unbiased party when it comes to the Sith," Malum replied with a wry smirk upon his lips that did not reach his eyes, taking the offered seat, "For all my troubles with him, and no doubt there have been many," Frustrating, annoying, migraine-inducing as well, "There is no one else that I ever met that I believed would not plot against me," If only because it seemed his plots and schemes were marred by flashes of brilliance and then mud at all other times, or that... it was hyper-focused on other quarters and quandaries, "No one else, that is so committed to bringing down the old order."

The last of her words were enough to draw his own moment of contemplation, "...The Kaggath need not necessarily end in death, in the days of the ancients, it could just as easily end in humiliation... perhaps that would..." He trailed off, knowing that it would be far from what those powers that be would desire.

But when had he ever cared for their desires?

Mia Monroe
Mentioned: Darth Strosius