Private My Shadow Runs With Me

[Velok Brokentusk]

Lily woke to a comfortable bed, in daytime, still at the temple. The Nagai had no chairs for Velok; he sat on the floor, with his back against the rough stone wall.

"It worked," he said. "Not that that should be uppermost on your mind, but I'd imagine it is. We've been here three nights counting the one when we arrived. No violence, not here or in town. You've given me my life back."

Velok set aside a book, whose pages he'd been turning with his mind rather than his huge claws.

"The Nagai and I agreed to let you stay sleeping, keep you sleeping, while they worked through - and walked me through - every possible repercussion their ritual could have had on your mind. We're satisfied there's only one significant impact: as that was probably your first major, conscious experience with the Force, your mind will be more awake to it. Also...how do you feel?"

 

[Lily Rhodes]

Lily pushed herself slowly upright as Velok updated her, cautiously moving, testing her body to try and understand why she'd been asleep so long. Though Velok answered that and she relaxed, settling her back against the wall.

"Like I've been asleep to long." she answered with a smile, she stifled a yawn. "I'm ok, I think." her stomach growled. "hungry, but ok."

She swung her legs off the bed. "They were in my head...or I was in theirs. It was...actually beautiful." She could see the river of colour when she closed her eyes. She opened them again. "But it worked? You're ok? How do you feel?"

Velok Brokentusk

 

[Velok Brokentusk]

"There's a weight off," he admitted. He got up most of the way and stood stooped, head right against the stone ceiling. "Hunger, we can manage. The Nagai just had lunch — local curiosities from the market and the farms. There's a cold spread left, and the meal hall is quiet."

He chewed on his next words as he slouched out the door and straightened up in the gallery outside. His back cracked uncomfortably.

"What did you see?" There'd been plenty of possible sights.

 

[Lily Rhodes]

"Colour, and light, mostly. I think they were singing in my head." she followed him, a bounce in her step, eager to share her experience. "the curse was this big black thing attached to what I think was your spirit and it was all tangled with you, like really tangled. You ever had to detangle life day lights? it was kinda like that. We had to reach in and pull each strand free...."

She trailed off, realising that she'd been reaching into parts of Velok's spirit. "Did I...did it hurt?"

Velok Brokentusk

 

[Velok Brokentusk]

"Like getting up off your knees when you've knelt too long."

They came to the meal hall: a vaulted stone gallery with Nagai art on the walls. They'd done him the courtesy of providing large portions of simple food, wary that otherwise he'd eat them out of house and home. On cue, his stomach rumbled.

A few Nagai were here, of varying ages, some comparable to Lily. "Apprentice telepaths," Velok said as he began dishing out food onto plastoid plates. "The temple has a community of around forty people, mostly Nagai with a few Maccabree, Faruun, even Sharuka. They're professionals and pragmatists rather than ideologues. This would be a sensible place for you to learn a little more about what you could become. Parsnips?"

 

[Lily Rhodes]

Liky accepted the parnsips, adding to the small pile on her plate. Pondering his suggestion, her eyes swept over the others as if they might hold the answer.

It was smart. They had opened her to it, it made sense to stay with them. "If i do stay, and I'm not saying I will, what will you do?"

Velok Brokentusk

 

[Velok Brokentusk]

"See how I like staying in one place for more than a couple of days. Find or build a bed my size. Get a good night's sleep without expecting raiders. The past few days here have been educational in more ways than one; I wouldn't mind learning more. You and I have a unique opportunity: starting more or less today, we get to figure out what we want our lives to be, what we want to become."

He shoveled parsnips and assorted other things onto his plate and settled at a stone bench by a long nearby table.

"I was raised to be Sith and a hunt leader. All through my exile, I haven't missed those lives. My dreams have gone in other directions. I think I'd like to rest, take my time, think it through, while supporting what you want to make of yourself. The Force doesn't need to play a role in that, and even if it does, there's no need for it to become your primary identity. But-"

There was caf in a fluted bronze kettle with a burner underneath. He made a little spiral gesture with his forefinger claw and the flame made an image: a small humanoid figure swinging around a blade of fire.

"-you have options."

 

[Lily Rhodes]

Lily tucked one leg underneath her as she settled on the bench opposite Velok, food pausing halfway to her mouth fixated by the fire figurine. She blinked and tore her eyes away from it, eyes staring into the distance pondering the possibilities that lay at her feet.

"I've never really had an idea of what I want to be, besides alive. the only dream I had was to get off Coruscant, but I never thought I'd make it. I never thought I'd have anything to call my own, let alone a ship. Now I have that, and galaxies at my fingertips..."

She shrugged, setting aside a her fork and filling her cup with caf. "I'd like to explore, that much I do know, and learn about...well, everything. I suppose here seems as good a place as any to start." She could explore, maybe look in one what was being taught and how much of it she wanted to learn.

Velok Brokentusk

 

[Velok Brokentusk]

"That's certainly as far as you need to decide at this point. A few other things I should mention," he said around a mouthful of parsnips.

"First, I really do need to reiterate that the Force can be as great or small a part of your identity as you see fit.

"Second, anything I know about the Force, I'll teach you if you want it, except the things I regret learning.

"Third, every Jedi who ever lived, and most of the Sith, would butcher me for saying this: Force sensitivity is a license to print money. Healing, instinctive astrogation, commanding animals, generating power, transforming living and unliving things, creating and nullifying poisons, bending probability, reading secrets in minds, seeing the past or the future — and that's just off the top of my head. Money, if you want it."

 

[Lily Rhodes]

Lily smirked. "The last point is a given, when do you ever see a poor Jedi?" She couldn't comment on sith, Lily had, to her knowledge never met one. And she was pretty certain if she had, she would not have hung around long enough to size up their wallet. She had seen her fair share of Jedi though, they would pop down on occasion do their bit of charity work as if would change anything and then return to their temples. "I tried to pickpocket one once. Didn't go so well, busted before my hand was even in his pocket. He gave me coin anyway, really sucked the fun out of it..."

"I'm not really ready to make any decisions where the force is concerned. I'm still not entirely sure what it means" she said after another mouthful. "i mean...where would I even start...I dunno, give me a couple of days to get used to the idea. Do they have somewhere closer I can bring the Pilgrim's Rest? Don't like the idea of it being the other side of the bazaar."

Velok Brokentusk

 

[Velok Brokentusk]

"Yes, they have a private landing field out back, just a stretch of hard dirt with a security fence. There's usually a couple of shuttles at any given time. From what I gather, small enclaves like this are the usual way that Nagai telepaths train, and keep a presence in their people's sectors. Not every world has one: this enclave supports colonies all over this corner of Firefist."

He scraped his plate and returned it to the appropriate spot.

"If you're going now, I'd like to come along. I have odds and ends that still need selling or bundling up. It's a beautiful ship but I'd like to keep most of my possessions somewhere I can stand up straight."

 

[Lily Rhodes]

Following Velok's lead on returning her empty plate, Lily chuckled. "I think you've more than earned some comfort. That little ship really wasn't built for you so I won't take offence."

They passed a few more telepaths on their way out, all of whom inclined their head in greeting, some of them seemed familiar and she suspected they'd been part of the ritual. She offered them small polite smiles in return, apprehension mingled with curiosity knotting in her stomach. She was quiet on the walk back to the bazaar, chewing the inside of her cheek, lost in her a long trail of thoughts.

She'd barely gotten used to the idea of having a ship, someplace she could figure out who she wanted to be with galaxies to explore and now it seemed like such a miniscule thing in comparison to the revelations of today. Who was she? Who did she want to be? She definitely wasn't a nobody anymore. Was going unseen something she would have to get used to not doing? Or was that something the force could help her do? Was that what she really wanted?

They were halfway through the bazaar when she spoke again. "How do you decide?" she asked suddenly, then realising Velok wasn't privy to the thoughts in her mind she elaborated "How do you decide how much want to know where the force is concerned? You were raised with it, taught one way of things? Thats how it is for most people right? Some are born into sith, some into Jedi, some are found at a young age and raised in temples for whatever following. Do I just try on different hats until I find one that fits?"

Velok Brokentusk

 

[Velok Brokentusk]

As usual in crowds by now, Velok walked a step ahead of her and to the right, and the crowd parted for him. He glanced back to gauge her mood a little better. She didn't strike him as anxious and not exactly wary, more like cautious. Someone who wanted to make a sensible decision.

"It's mostly untrodden ground for me too. Most Force-sensitives don't have our cornucopia of choice. Virtually every Force-sensitive who becomes aware of it takes one of four paths: they try for the Jedi, they try for the Sith, they try to fall in with some tradition that's local to them whether or not it's a good fit - your Nagai telepaths, your Dathomiri witches, a thousand others - or they go it alone. It mostly comes down to what's available, or what they think is available."

He tapped his temple with a huge blunt claw.

"The advantage we've got is that my great-grandfather was a Blackguard, a Dark Side tradition, a knowledge collector. He picked up many, many scraps of knowledge from all over the galaxy. I know a very small amount about many traditions, and more or less where or how to find them off the beaten path."

 

[Lily Rhodes]

Lily nodded and relaxed a little, it was a great comfort to know that she wasn't entirely alone. Granted, if she wanted it, she had a lot more to learn than Velok, but then she also had Velok. She smiled, pushing the matter to the back of her mind, maybe her subconscious would have better luck figuring out what she wanted.

The Pilgrim's Rest was exactly as they'd left it, not that she expected it to be any different, but it was the first time since they'd had it, that they'd been apart from it. Lowering the landing ramp so Velok could gain access, she moved around it, fingers trailing the hull just making sure it was exactly as she left it., before bouncing up the landing ramp and into the cockpit to bring her to life, humming quietly to herself as she did.

Velok Brokentusk

 

[Velok Brokentusk]

While Lily puttered with the ship, Velok bundled up his meagre possessions. The bundles included new acquisitions from the marketplace: mismatched electronic components. He'd been stockpiling bits and pieces, and was just about ready to build a new lightsaber. The one he'd abandoned on the Longjumper's Mark had far too much blood in the crevices; he'd been glad to see it gone. If he was starting over, becoming something new and of his own choice, a new lightsaber seemed appropriate.

He mentioned some of this to Lily as they moved the ship to the Nagai landing field. The return trip took bare minutes where the walk had taken close to an hour. Up high, soaring over the market, the plains and plateaus of Jaibrek seemed wider and more inviting than he remembered.

"I'm on the fence about this," he said as they descended, "but I've been contemplating homesteading. Building a small base, a spot to lay my head between excursions, or just some privacy when I'm not out in town or at the temple compound. Thoughts?"

 

[Lily Rhodes]

Lily laughed. "You're asking the person who never had a home before she met you, whether you should build a home." she shook her head. "Its a good spot, the gateway between our galaxy and firefist and you more than deserve a home that fits you, instead of having to squeeze into whatever the rest of the world provides. Build the homestead, Velok."

There wasn't a great deal for her to sit and watch in the Nagai's landing field, something she'd miss for sure but it would only be for a little while and she had more than enough to occupy her mind besides people watching.

"I have one request though," she added as an after thought "Can I have somewhere to park?"

Velok Brokentusk

 

[Velok Brokentusk]

"Oh certainly." Velok squeezed back out of the shuttle and kicked at the dirt of the landing field. "Better than this. I'd pour a permacrete slab to cut long-term stress on landing gear. Power and sanitation hookups, a shielded fuel supply, maybe a small ammunition stockpile. And a roof! Just a simple prefab hangar, but enough to shelter craft this size. There are three or four outfits in the market that sell prefabricated structures to farmers and prospectors.

"And as for the land, it sounds like they're practically giving it away. Nobody's ever lived on Jaibrek before, and the Nagai have big hopes to make it thrive out of nothing as a matter of pride.

"Keep going — what else does it need? Since we're speculating. No, planning."

 

[Lily Rhodes]

Lily couldn't help but smile, Velok was happy, more than that he was hopeful. It was contagious.

"Alright, it should be near water, nothing dramatic, but a little creek or something, so you can hear that bubbling noise. Oh, and a porch, so when it rains I can still sit outside and read. You need an outbuilding with a butchers block for your hunts."

"It's your home though, Velok, what do you want in it?"

Velok Brokentusk

 

[Velok Brokentusk]

"I used to have trophy rooms, but that sort of thing doesn't have the appeal it did. It might be nice to set a room aside again - the occasional predator skull or seized weapon, mementos of places seen and hazards outlasted."

He crouched and drew a simple outline in the hardpack with his claw.

"Main house, hangar and utilities, butchery and larder, all prefab to start, better once I can swing it. Maybe over here, a place for ritual. No need to go small on that, either. A big hollow or a big stone. Room for fortune-telling and more ambitious things best kept out of the house. This kind of work absolutely falls under the heading of 'don't shavvit where you eat.' Transformations and alterations on all scales, ranging from Toglannoq cold-resistance treatments to something like that tattoo of yours."

 

[Lily Rhodes]

Lily stepped in close to watch him draw, building it in her minds eye, her heart fluttering with the excitement of it.

She crouched to join him, adding to it. "Here, somewhere to train. Open sides, but sheltered from the worst weather."

Lily felt eyes on them, and a gentle intrusion in her mind. Her head snapped up to find Sonere watching them. "You should take the Rest, tomorrow. See if you can't find the right spot." She watched Sonere go, retreating from her mind as she did, leaving a gentle suggestion to find her when she had a chance.

"I want to spend some time here, exploring the temple. See if I can find something that interests me to learn."

Velok Brokentusk