Private Never Let Me Down Again

[Kai Bamarri]

<Enough about Master Noble!> Kai exclaimed, making a cutting motion with his hand. He was beyond frustrated at this point. <Don’t try to help me, or fix me—just show me that you care! That you aren’t just trying to foist me onto someone else!>

He turned away from her, reaching for the comfort of the carved wooden chest, trying to recover some semblance of control over his emotions.

<This isn’t just about wanting to date you. Don’t you understand?>

He wasn’t even sure if he understood himself. Only that he wanted something real. Not the Jedi equivalent of shuffling off to a guidance counselor’s office to talk about his problems, not the transitory high brought on by drugs or sex or rock ‘n roll, for that matter. Maybe he just wanted her to hold him. Something that simple, yet out of his sphere.

His head dropped down to the table, his face hidden by his folded arms. <A little kindness. A little comfort…>

The fact that he had to ask, had been reduced to begging even, only made it worse.

Iris Arani​

 

[Iris Arani]

It wasn't that she was refusing to help him. But watching him, realizing what he was asking. And the fact that she was hesitant to even do that showed a lot on herself. She frowned, glanced away. "I'm trying to help you, Kai. I don't.. I don't know how else I can help you. You're talking about wanting to die, and I just- I don't know how to help you."

Kai Bamarri

 

[Kai Bamarri]

Raising his head, Kai looked back at her.

<Come here,> he asked, holding out his arms. <Please.>

Iris Arani​

 

[Iris Arani]

And again Iris hesitated. She didn't know what to do here. How to help. What he was asking for wasn't really helping. She.. Sighed. And did at least hug him. Maybe he was right, that they couldn't be friends anymore. Not like they were. Not right now. But she wasn't just going to leave him down here miserable.

"Please just trust me.. Valery really can help you in ways I can't.."

Kai Bamarri

 

[Kai Bamarri]

The hug arrived at last. Kai was bigger than Iris, but as he melted in her arms, he seemed smaller.

He sensed her reluctance, but couldn’t discern its source. Was she afraid he would try to force himself upon her? Was she afraid of him and his dark, swirling emotions? Was it all a ruse after all, something she did only begrudgingly?

<Fine. I’ll go talk to her,> he muttered, stroking Iris’ hair. The hug was somewhat soothing, though not as much as it would have been if the gesture were spontaneous and unprompted. Still, he was reluctant to let go.

Pulling away, he exhaled a breath he hadn’t known he’d been holding. <Just don’t give up on me.>

Everyone else already has.

Iris Arani​

 

[Iris Arani]

Her expression softened after a moment. The hug, tightened. She couldn't help it. It's not like she didn't want to be his friend. She never stopped wanting to be his friend. He just wanted it to be something she wasn't ready for at all. But still, she hugged him tighter anyway. Where he tried to pull away, she didn't let him.

"You're an idiot to think I'd ever give up on you. There's just some things I can't help with, y'know? And when you start talking about wanting to kill yourself I-" The hug tightened further. To an uncomfortable degree.

"You don't give up either, okay?"

Kai Bamarri

 

[Kai Bamarri]

<A Je’daii woman took me in. She convinced me not to give up. That’s why I was on Tribunal Station when you found me…>

The memory of seeing her for the first time, covered in all those scars, came back fresh in his mind. Kai pulled her in closer, almost lifting her up off the ground.

<I’m sorry. I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you. From here on out, I’m not going anywhere, you hear?>

The hug had devolved into a competition to see who could squeeze the other tighter. Kai’s back popped, and he let out an involuntary grunt.

<Okay, Iris… you’re squishing me…>

Iris Arani​

 

[Iris Arani]

Yeah that didn't get Iris to stop. She'd been trying to keep a level head to help her friend, protect herself maybe. But now she was back to the kid she was before, when they cried in each others arms after the first time she got shot. Her hug only tightened.

And eventually she relented. Iris turned away from him, hastily wiping away the tears of genuine frustration and sadness. Right now it was a matter of just being strong for her friend. "I'm going to call Valery. Do you want her to meet us here? Or somewhere else?"

Kai Bamarri

 

[Kai Bamarri]

<Not here—and you don’t need to call her, I’ll handle it, don’t worry...> Kai rubbed his ribs. <Don’t tell anyone else about this place, okay? Last thing I need is people sniffing around my old haunt.>

Iris Arani​

 

[Iris Arani]

Iris shook her head. Furiously so.

"No. You said you wanted to kill yourself. You don't get to just say don't worry. We don't have to bring her here, but we're going to talk to her. Today. Now. We'll find another place to meet her."

Well, okay. Iris took a breath and closed her eyes. ".. I mean, it doesn't have to be right now. But soon, okay? Really soon. .. Please."

Kai Bamarri

 

[Kai Bamarri]

Hearing her insist that he go to see Valery now, Kai wasn’t sure whether he was annoyed or not. She was really cute when she got feisty…

No. Bad Kai. He tamped down on those feelings.

<Okay good, okay fine,> he blurted. He grabbed the carved wooden chest and held it in his arms as if it were a baby. <Let’s get out of here, then.>

He had a feeling he wouldn’t need to come back to this place for a long, long time.

Iris Arani​

 

[Iris Arani]

Iris let out a sigh of relief and nodded once. Followed Kai up and out. On the way she pulled up the display of her holopad to send a quick message to her master. That she needed her help. That Kai needed her help.

"Okay."

Kai Bamarri