Night of Before

[WelshPsych]

They stood there, blocking his way. Two shadowy figures, they preached and lied. His anger, rage deep inside him wanted to explode to take control. He let it. Choking one while blasting another away. He demanded spice, he demanded to be left alone, to live with his horror, his murderous past. But he was proud of it, proud of his killing and wanted to kill more.

Yuroic woke in a cold sweat, his body wanting to vomit as he stared at his ceiling. He took slow deep breaths as he felt to vomit sensation pass, Yuroic tried to decipher his dream. Was it a vision of his future? Was he destined to spill to darkness, to become addicted to spice? What would send him down the dark path that he saw? He needed help in deciphering this latest vision, he couldn't go to the Grand Master on this, it could just be a nightmare but he had a feeling that this was more than a dream and he needed to talk to someone he could trust to keep this information between them. There was only one person he could trust to do that.

Jairdain.

Sending a message to her, he invited her to meet him and discuss something he needed help in understanding. Yuroic rose from his bed and took a shower, he needed to cleanse himself of the nightmare and the sweat. Once he was dry, Yuroic dressed himself in simple robes and headed off to the meeting point. It was a secluded part of the gardens, somewhere peaceful and more importantly isolated from wandering ears.

[member="Jairdain"]

 

[Jairdain]

It was a surprise to get a message from Yuroic after the way their last meeting had ended. He wanted to meet with her again and have a conversation about something he didn't understand. He was a friend and fellow Silver before anything else, even if Jairdain remembered and wanted more, those feelings had to be set to the side.

His timing had been perfect though and she was staying on Kashyyyk for a while. Commenor was still dangerous to those that had worked closely with the royal family. Not as much as it had been before though thankfully.

The request was set and she had time to shower herself. After responding that she would meet him, that's what she did as well. Putting on something unique to her people, Jairdain had long since given up on dressing in robes. Wrapping a green shawl around her head and shoulders, she still might look a little ill. Not wanting too many questions asked, she did her best to hide her face while walking to where he wanted to meet.

So far the weather here was nice and agreeable, not too hot or cold and no rain. If that had happened, she could have taken care of that. One of her new skills allowed her to control the weather. Something she had been practicing on since it relied on her emotional state. Being of calm mind and emotional state right now might have gone a long way in making the weather how it was.

Arriving soon after he did, Jairdain followed the familiar presence of Yuroic. Approaching openly, her heart skipped a beat and those ancient butterflies returned. There was a small pause in one of her steps as she took breath and continued on.

"I am glad to hear from you considering how we parted last."

Not even able to focus on him through the Force, if he could sense where her gaze was, it was directed more at the ground near his feet than at him.

[member="Yuroic Xeraic"]

 

[WelshPsych]

Yuroic waited patiently by a tree, using the Force to move the rocks. Watching the rocks move smoothly and dancing around. Yuroic couldn't shake the horrid nightmare from his mind but he could let his emotions attached to it ago. He refused to let his emotions run fast and loose with this nightmare, nothing said that it was a vision yet, there was a pit in his stomach that warned him it was but he knew that was just anxiety. It took a some time for Jairdain to arrive, by that time, Yuroic had calmed from the nightmare. He still wished to discuss it but he refused to let something not certain to take control over his life.

"Thank you for taking time to seeing me." He said in a polite tone. Yuroic remembered their last meeting, Jairdain had rushed off abruptly during his attempt to help her with her drinking issue. "I hope that your drinking days have passed Jairdain." Yuroic commented in a cool tone, he wanted to be friends and close ones once again but he could tell that Jairdain still felt awkward from their last encounter. "I remember you rushing off suddenly without telling me why. It hurt but I let it go, I figured you had a lot going on at that moment in time." Yuroic stated as he wandered closer to her.

Yuroic decided to change the topic, "I brought you here for a different conversation however. I have been having a nightmare recently, I say nightmare but it could be a vision. In this vision, I am attacking people, good people, I think they are good people. I can't tell who they are but they are trying to help at least I think. But in this vision, I am overwhelmed with anger, rage and addiction to spice I think. I end up attacking them, hurting them in my deep rage. I need your help in figuring out whether this is something that is to come or my imagination trying to scare me."

[member="Jairdain"]

 

[Jairdain]

Having once been very close to Yuroic, she could feel his emotions as well as he could. Some of his fabricated past and how he felt on relationships still clouded him. That was a mistake on her part and if she could go back and change his views she would. Of course, he had asked not to remember anything and being the kind of person she was, she took everything.

Smiling when he said thank you for agreeing to see him, Jairdain knew there wasn't anything that would stop her from doing that. With everything that happened in her life, even now she would brave the Netherworld to bring him back if he died. She had tried to do that with somebody and failed. That loss had been one of the final things that ended up spirialing her down the path she had taken.

"I am fine now. Thank you."

It only addressed the first part of what he said because she didn't reply to his comment about her running out like she did. She would not though and try to keep any mention of him out of, but not entirely. What happened between them had been one of the components and should be told, but not in a direct manner.

"My life then was very bad. Our last meeting was when things were almost at my lowest, luckily I was able to crawl out of my hole of depression and move on. If you want to know about it and I doubt you do, I can tell you. There's got to be another reason you wanted to see me again."

Unless he did ask for fine details, that would be all Jairdain provided. When he brought up why he wanted to see her, she nodded and chewed on her lower lip slightly in thought. What he thought of as a nightmare and it was to his memory was something that had actually happened. She could see it clearly in her mind since when she altered his memory, she had taken them into her own mind.

Moving to stand next to him, she tried to keep it professional, but he might feel she was standing too close.

"Has this happened more than once or just the one time?"

[member="Yuroic Xeraic"]

 

[WelshPsych]

Yuroic noticed that Jairdain seemed more balanced in her emotions but he was cautious. One could hide their true feelings deep down if they wanted no one to see their suffering. It happened to him when his Master passed though he eventually was able to deal with the grief in a constructive way. Puzhing himself to honour the man that taught him how to live. Yuroic decided against pushing her on revealing whether or not she was truly fine, if she needed someone to talk to then he was there but he would not force her to open up. That would do more harm than it would do good. Instead let allowed the matter to be dropped so that they could focus on his current predicament.

He took a small step back as she moved in close, he was aware of how close she was and he didn't want to push things. His emotions surrounding her lately were puzzling, before he believed he never had strong romantic feelings for Jairdain bjt as of late, there were emotions of mixed sort bubbling under the surface. He was unsure what to make of it, there were other moments that brought strange and unusual feelings around people but he was being cautious more around Jairdain as he did not want to destroy their supportive friendship by doing anything rash or ill judged.

"Several nights, more detailed and more real the more it appears. Or at least, I remember more of the nightmare. If it had just been once, I would have set aside as a real nightmare but this recurring factor makes me fear that it is more." Yuroic admitted as he answered her question in full. He was afraid of the man in his vision, it wasn't him and he never wanted it to be him.

[member="Jairdain"]

 

[Jairdain]

What Yuroic thought of felt of others hiding their emotions, it was a skill Jairdain had never learned. Because she was not able to see another person's face to know what they were trying to hide, she could tell what it was they were hiding or trying to. What he saw was the same as she had always been. Emotionally open, how she felt would be clear. It was one of the reasons she had run at their last meeting. This should also be something Yuroic would know about her. There were some things about them she had kept in his memory.

When he took his step back, she had already stopped. It almost felt like a slap in the face, but it wasn't entirely. There might be some questioning on her face as she was confused on how to progress herself. Luckily he didn't keep the situation uncomfortable for long and began to answer her question.

Listening to his answer, she nodded. Very much like how she would treat such a thing. To him, this was a nightmare and he didn't know it had actually been him. His desire to not become again what he had been was reasonable. Letting out a sigh, Jairdain extended a hand out palm up and open.

"May I try something?"

[member="Yuroic Xeraic"]

 

[WelshPsych]

Yuroic could tell that she was somewhat hurt by his step back. Taking a moment to compose himself, he explained, "I... It's the nightmare, it plays with my emotions and leaves me more fragile than I like. Nothing against you." He explained as he took a deep breath and thought on what Jairdain was going to do, it was strange as he wasn't sure what she was going to do and that meant putting his whole trust in her. However, she had never lead him wrong before, there was no reason not to trust her. So he did.

Looking at her face, Yuroic took a deep breath and nodded his head. He then waited a short while before realising that she couldn't see his small nod and spoke. "Go ahead, anything to help stop this is greatly appreciated."

[member="Jairdain"]

 

[Jairdain]

His words on why he stepped away were only partially true and Jairdain could tell that. She could believe the dreams played with his emotions, but there was more to him that she knew.

"I'm going to have to touch you."

She really did not need to do that, but she wanted the connection. Yuroic might or might not pick up on this desire of hers. If he did, then it could raise some questions in his mind. Maybe that would be good, but it might also lead to so many more issues. Attempting to keep this professional, she raised her other hand and closed the distance between them.

Unless he moved away, her raised hand would lightly touch him on the forehead. Jairdain was taking a risk with this touch. If he had improved on his empathic ability, then he would quickly know exactly how she felt for him. However, it was not something she projected to him. In her best attempt to keep this on track, her hand that was held with the palm up an image would start to appear.

It was part of his memory she had taken from him and the moving image of his nightmare.

"Is this what you have been dreaming?"

[member="Yuroic Xeraic"]

 

[WelshPsych]

He wanted to argue against the touching, was it truly necessary for her but he sighed and allowed it. Questioning Jairdain's methods was not the course of action he really wanted to take. Instead, he allowed her to touch his forehead and could sense her complicated emotions, however he purposefully blocked them. For right now, he needed to focus on his own emotions, himself moreso than what was going on within Jairdain, that could be a later discussion. Yuroic waited as Jairdain performed her works and conjured his dream in life around them.

He looked around, it was more detailed and sharpen than the haziness in his dreams or at least the memories of them. Looking over to her, "How? How did you conjure my dream up exact? Have you been having the same vision as me? Is this a vision?" The panic was growing within him, if Jairdain had been seeing the same events could she be one of the shadowy people, could this be a vision? It was only now he thought there was danger in being close to him. He couldn't let this happen. "We need to prevent this, get the two people away from me, or intervene earlier, or make sure I never take spice!" Yuroic mind was whirling with thoughts and ideas.

[member="Jairdain"]

 

[Jairdain]

The touch might not have been needed, but it still helped. It gave them more of a connection than they already had. Even though the one on his end had been dulled by her memory play. When he blocked out her emotions that were spilling over, Jairdain was pleased with his progress there. Yuroic was able to block them from getting to him and focus on his own.

This vision she provided was what would be thought of first person. Since they were his memories, they were through his eyes. How it had been in his dream, she did not know fully and never would unless he shared them with her.

When he spoke, her touch remained and would be the reason for her answer.

"Yuroic, you dream is in your mind. The reason I needed to touch your head was to grant this external vision you see. I do not, cannot see what it is."

At least that part was true to an extent. When she had taken his memory, all of his sight had been given to her. In his memory and how he remembered physically seeing it. A blessing and curse about being blind, but this gave her a broader view of the worlds around them.

"No, I'm sure this is not a vision or a dream. Maybe it happened already, but I don't think it can happen now."

[member="Yuroic Xeraic"]

 

[WelshPsych]

There was a visible sigh of relief that crossed Yuroic's face as Jairdain mentioned that she was just taking the dream from his mind, not an event that she had also seen herself. It calmed his nerves about this being an event that he was going to commit. She then later mentioned that the vision could be an event from his past or future. "It can't be from my past, I never committed such an act before. If I had then I'd remember, not had my mind wiped. No, this is either a simple dream or something that is based in the future." Yuroic stated with certainity as he looked at her.

"What makes you think that it won't happen? Visions often show us events, events that if we try to prevent we cause by accident." Yuroic stated, since these dreams begun he had read and studied as much as he could on the Force and visions. He read that a person's attempt to change events often created the vision to pass. It lead him to a belief that the Force dictated their actions and pushed them on the course that it wanted them to go on. Few people agreed as it meant one had no control in their actions, that they were slaves to the Force. Yuroic believed they were only slaves when it came to major events in time, that certain things were locked in place.

[member="Jairdain"]

 

[Jairdain]

Though her touch was only on really on his forehead, Jairdain could feel him relax his muscles there and heard his sigh of relief. Needing to tread very carefully here, she listened to what Yuroic had to say about visions. Lowering her hand, the illusion around them faded. If he wanted it to return, that could be accomplished easily and without the need for her to touch him. He seemed reluctant to allow it, so she wasn't going to press that on him and make him uncomfortable.

He wanted to know why she thought it wouldn't happen and went onto explain what he had learned of these things.

"Yuroic, this won't happen. Visions do show events that can happen, however, this is a skill I am very strong in. I am in touch with the Force on a very primal and close level. Far more than anybody else I know. You may not have the understanding I do and I'm not sure there is a way for me to teach you."

She had gone to the Netherworld and been adopted into the Kashi. Now an adoptive sister to Ronin and they had a far different understanding of the Force. She had that knowledge now too and was so much more than the Jedi Yuroic would remember from his past. A true neutral in things, she followed her own path and would never propose anybody else to do it.

"If you are looking to prevent this happening, then just trust me to know it won't."

[member="Yuroic Xeraic"]

 

[WelshPsych]

Yuroic shook his head. Jairdain was saying this was no vision. "You don't know that. It could come true, the Force wouldn't give me a vision of something that was not possible. This is possible, I could become that man. Why are you so certain that this could never come true? You don't know that, you just don't want to think I could fall to the dark side. But I could, at least if this dream, or vision, or whatever happens to past unless I take preventative steps." Yuroic stated, he was clear that he would not let this vision come true if there was a chance. But he found it odd that Jairdain was so sure this wasn't a vision.

There had been some of the greatest Force users in history that did not understand why the Force gave people visions, small insights into the future and a chance to change those events. However, Jairdain seemed so certain about this. It worried him that she was just dismissing his concerns about it being real, like there was something more to this vision then she was letting on. "What evidence do you have that this cannot come true?" He asked, his mind now becoming more investigative as he pondered on what she truly knew of this vision he had.

[member="Jairdain"]

 

[Jairdain]

"You're right, I do not know that this will not happen. However, I know you and have known you for a very long time, Yuroic. If there was any doubt in my mind that this would be you, I would help you try and prevent this from happening. However, since the future is always in motion, what you see is just one of the many. The Force also shows the past."

Her last statement was a clue, but Jairdain did not put any extra emphasis on it.

"How do you think it possible you could become the man in your dreams? Are you sure it is you? Might the Force not be guiding you to try and search out whoever it could be and prevent it from happening?"

Yuroic then asked for her evidence indicating how she knew it couldn't come true.

"There is no proof I can offer other than my word, knowledge and intuition."

[member="Yuroic Xeraic"]

 

[WelshPsych]

Yuroic understood where she was coming from now, she didn't believe he could change so much. If he was honest, he couldn't seem it either himself. "I understand that but look at us Jairdain, could you see yourself as you are now when we first met? People change, we've changed a great deal and don't see each other as often. You are busy helping Commenor heal and I'm with the Silver Jedi still." His point was clear, they were different people than before and they were not going to be the same in another decade. She could not know if he was the same man that would never turn to spice or the Dark Side, and neither could he if he thought about it logically.

"I think it was me, I know it was actually. It was from my perspective, I know that as I couldn't tell who the others were and if one of them was me then I would know. No, this was me as the problem. But yes, may e it can be prevented, I just don't know how. People try preventing visions only to create them. I could end up doing that, something which I do not want to." Yuroic stated as he sighed and shook his head. "Perhaps I just need to distract myself for now. Stop fixating on the future, if I get more details, find out who the others are then I will act on kt. Till then I need to clear my mind."

Question was how to do that now.

[member="Jairdain"]

 

[Jairdain]

Sensing what she said made a little more sense now, but not entirely. When he asked if she had seen herself in her current position when they met and she shook her head. Back then Jairdain had wanted to be a consular or diplomat, so in a way she had seen herself, but not totally. It wasn't something she was any longer. With the prince missing, she was without a job. That did not make her useless though as this conversation was proving.

She could still be a consular and that was what she was for Yuroic right now. A friend, somebody he could talk to about his problems and a person that could try and help him. Through the years, she had always tried to be there for him and when it was most important, she had failed him. The path he had taken was at least partially her fault. Some sense of guilt came from her, but she didn't know if he would pick up on it. If he did, it would lead to further questions, so she attempted to place it into that familiar old box to be dealt with later.

On the bright side of this meeting and conversation, Yuroic had come to the conclusion he needed to stop focusing on the issue of the future. Giving him a slight smile, Jairdain nodded when he mentioned having to clear his mind.

"How do you think it would be best to go about doing that?"

If he had no ideas, she could try and help him with some. There were many ways to distract and keep the mind occupied that did not lead one down a dark path. Right now she felt there was the possibility he might just end up going down it again and they would just be in a revolving circle. There would be a difference this time, she was going to be there for Yuroic...if he wanted her to be.

[member="Yuroic Xeraic"]

 

[WelshPsych]

There was a lot of emotions coming from both of them. It was hard to decipher whom the guilty feelings came from or why they were there to begin with. Yuroic decided it was best to ignore it. Instead, he decided to think on what was best to pull his thoughts away from the endless possibilities and into the here and now. For that, Yuroic decided it would take meditation or training, that was always how he brought himself back from his mind. What that issue arose was what to learn? Meditation seemed an isolationist approach when he felt that was wrong when he asked Jairdain to join him.

Training it would be, but not the heavy physical routine he pushed himself in the morning, he doubted that Jairdain would be able to keep up, and weapons training was another unfair advantage to him as the best way would be an intense duel. So it had to be the Force, an area that he was truly keen to always learn more but he couldn't think of what to learn. "Well, if there is a Force Power you could teach me then that would be great. It's been awhile since I learnt something completely new."

He gave a smile as he waited.

[member="Jairdain"]

 

[WelshPsych]

There was a lot of emotions coming from both of them. It was hard to decipher whom the guilty feelings came from or why they were there to begin with. Yuroic decided it was best to ignore it. Instead, he decided to think on what was best to pull his thoughts away from the endless possibilities and into the here and now. For that, Yuroic decided it would take meditation or training, that was always how he brought himself back from his mind. What that issue arose was what to learn? Meditation seemed an isolationist approach when he felt that was wrong when he asked Jairdain to join him.

Training it would be, but not the heavy physical routine he pushed himself in the morning, he doubted that Jairdain would be able to keep up, and weapons training was another unfair advantage to him as the best way would be an intense duel. So it had to be the Force, an area that he was truly keen to always learn more but he couldn't think of what to learn. "Well, if there is a Force Power you could teach me then that would be great. It's been awhile since I learnt something completely new."

He gave a smile as he waited.

[member="Jairdain"]

 

[Jairdain]

Sensing her own question had given Yuroic something to think about, Jairdain was able to set aside her own cluttered emotions. This way when he did come back with an answer, her mind was also clear. While this was an old practice of hers, it made quite a lot of sense. It was not something she would teach another person to do though unless it made sense for them to know it. In this case, she would keep it to herself, at least for now.

As if she could read his mind, Jairdain sensed when different ideas came to him and he discarded them. When he came up with the idea for him to learn some new Force power, she nodded and smiled. Her eyes almost lighting up, she realized this location would be idea to teach him her strongest ability.

They had met outside in the gardens and one of the more secluded parts. Here there was more wildlife around them than what would be found closer to the Rest itself. Taking a seat on the ground, Jairdain held her hands out just above the ground. With a subtle and minute nod, she indicated for Yuroic to sit down in front of her.

"Here is a perfect place to start your learning Battle Meditation. It is quiet, peaceful and we won't be disturbed by random walkers."

Within a few moments, small ants started to swarm around her. Some crawled on her feet, but most of them stayed in the grass and formed up between them.

"In an effort to keep your own mind away from thinking of your own thoughts and allowing them to eat away at you. Focus instead on the minds of these little beasts. Touch each one, get to know them and command your army."

[member="Yuroic Xeraic"]

 

[WelshPsych]

Battle Meditation. It was a strong power to have, boost the morale of your allies while damaging the enemies. There somewhat more to it than just that but there we go. Yuroic hadn't thought about learning such a power, it was one that required extreme concentration while in combat, something that Yuroic didn't have time to do. He was more the person on the frontline, fighting with his weapons and mkre aggressive in a way. This did seem the perfect time to study the power though. He knew how skilled Jairdain was in the power so there were few better teachers than her for the role.

Yuroic watched the ants move about as he listened to her instruct him in what to do. "Are you sure this is Battle Meditation and not Beast Control, sounds like you are teaching me Beast Control." He gave a wink to show he was joking. His mind extended as he felt the presence of each ant, it wasn't difficult, the ants weren't sentient so their thoughts were simple, basic needs driven. He learned each one's place and how they moved. "How do I command them? At least, without it becoming Beast Control." His question was genuine this time as he knew he could get them to do as he wished but it was not with the power she wanted him to use.

[member="Jairdain"]