AGENT: KALIE ALVEREZ
LOCATION: PROSPERITY
OBJECTIVE II: ADORE PREGO VALERY
TAGS:
Valery Noble
Lyrrin
Kahlil Noble
(open)
At the movement of the baby girl, Kalie let out a delighted gasp as a big smile spread across her face. She had always loved kids, being drawn to them in almost a naturally mother-like protectiveness, likely due to the lack of security she had experienced growing up.
"After my daughter is born, I'll first be with her and Kahlil for a while. I'll work on physically getting back in shape during that time too, but I'll be back to action after. Just... have to balance it with my family."
“Wow… you’re amazing. Thats quite a transition! If you even need... someone to... babysit…” Her eyes furrowed slightly and her train of thought drifted as
Valery Noble
guided her gently towards a table. She had a feeling that she was about to be confronted by her friend, and a sense of panic immediately arose within her as she slowly sat down and turned to Valery, a look of concern filling her face…
not for Valery… but for
herself… for how she would respond… for what might come next.
"Hey, not to bring the mood down but if you need a friend to talk to, about anything, just let me know, okay?"
Kalie had evidently let a crack form in her carefully crafted exterior, and the storm that she always tried to keep buried deep underneath was growing out of control. She looked down immediately, almost ashamed at being caught, as if she had somehow let everyone down…
as if she was ashamed that she wasn’t strong enough to be the person that she felt like she was suppose to be.
The truth was… she often put on a show. A display of the happy-go-lucky agent who always knew how to lighten the mood in an attempt to help her friends cope with the trauma they often experienced on the field. But in truth…
she had no idea who she was anymore. With the blur of her personas… the ever flowing torrent of acting and deceiving and giving others exactly what they wanted in order to get something from them in return….
She had lost herself. She felt unsteady… insecure… as if she would disintegrate at any moment and realize the awful truth that it had all been a lie… that her relationship with
Gramani Fey’la
was a manipulation… That her friendships with
Valery Noble
and
Lyrrin
were facades of her own invention…
Her mouth became dry, and her throat closed tightly, almost choking on the mountain of fear that was swirling inside of her. She sat there, trying to gain some form of collectedness, trying to discipher the right amount of leakage she should reveal to Valery… and how much she should keep buried underneath. To let the whole torrent loose would be devastating, and so she knew that she needed to give Valery
something…
Just not
everything.
She cleared her throat forcefully, pulling her hair back behind her ear as she finally forced her eyes upward to meet Valery’s,
“Thanks… I appreciate it… you caring about me.” She offered a weak smile. Every word seemed labored.
“You know…. I almost died the other day. In some run down star forge… on the edge of Alliance space…”
She looked around quickly, lowering the volume of her voice, making sure no-one else could hear her.
“… I just… can’t help but feel like… it’s all pointless…” She gave Valery an apologetic expression, then let her eyes drop again as she continued,
“…Am I making a difference? Is anything we're doing… changing anything? I mean... weren't you basically involved in this same kriffin' war thousands of years ago? Has anything changed? I’m not delusional, I know that… I know that I will likely be dead within the next couple of years… If it didn’t happen on that star forge… then… It will just be in some other gutter on some other distant planet….” Her face expression then constricted into an expression of deep sadness as her eyes filled with tears. It took all of her might to keep the tears at bay,
“Umm…” Her voice quivered softly,
“I almost wish I had never… met… Gramani…” Tears finally slid down her cheeks as she tried to hide her face behind her arms, completely embarrassed that she had let this much emotion out. She felt like she was completely ruining what should have been a joyful day for
Valery Noble
and
Kahlil Noble
.
Internally she cursed at herself for being so selfish.
“… Because… it’s easier to die... for something… when you don’t have someone… to live for…” She sniffed behind her arms, her frame shaking subtly under the weight of her own words.
“… I miss him…” she finally admitted weakly.
“I’m sorry…”
She was sorry for ruining their life day celebration.
She was sorry for being so weak.
She was sorry for being so vulnerable.