Private Not Whole, But Here

[Everest Vale]

Tag: Colette

The sterile hum of the recovery wing barely registered anymore. It was quiet here, but not the kind that soothed. It was the kind of quiet that made one aware of one's own breath, the press of bandages, the thin clinging to the legs. That made one feel like time itself had slowed just enough for one's thoughts to catch up... and start circling.

Eve sat propped slightly against the headboard, not because it was comfortable, but because she hadn't found the will to lie flat again. One side of her face was still wrapped in fresh white gauze, hiding the hollow where her eye used to be. The pain had dulled to a heavy ache — no longer burning, but enough to remind her that yes, this was real.

The room smelled like antiseptic and warm linen. A bowl of untouched broth had gone tepid on the side tray. She didn't look at it.

Her silver eye — the one she still had — remained fixed on a patch of wall just above the monitor. She didn't blink often. She didn't speak. Her hands rested in her lap, unmoving.

And somewhere beneath all the numbness... was anger.

Not at anyone else.

At herself.

For sitting here, wrapped in clean sheets, her wounds cared for by gentle hands, while Azzie — her Azzie — had been left in the dark, broken and brutalised for months. How dare she sit here wallowing in silence, in grief, in self-pity, when Azzie had endured something so much worse. The thought coiled through her chest like a bitter vine. Ugly. Unfair. True.

Her hands tensed slightly in her lap. She turned her face to the side, not to hide it, just to breathe.

You're safe now, she reminded herself. She's safe now.

But the words didn't settle. They just drifted.

Then... the softest of footsteps.

 

[Colette]

Everest Vale

It hadn't been the best of news. Everest had gone off and played hero, come back with one eye less. As concerned as Colette was once she had heard the news, it didn't really show as she slowly made her way across the hospital corridors over towards the recovery wing.

Everest might have had a brief moment of trepidation and contemplation as she stood at the doorway to Colette's room once their roles had been reversed, but that wasn't really there for Colette either. In part because while she worried, she already knew that Everest was alive, and other than that because she had to keep those little embers of worry under wraps.

Knock-knock.

Colette rasped her hand against the doorframe as she entered into the room and Everest's blindspot.

"Hey Everest." She said and approached the bed. "How are you?"

 

[Everest Vale]

Tag: Colette

Eve stirred at the knock, her head turning slightly toward the door, toward the side she could still see. A soft flutter of movement followed as Colette stepped inside, and for a moment, Eve remained still, unsure what to expect. Her gaze lowered to her blanket, fingers quietly tightening in the folds of fabric.

"Colette," she breathed, voice low, roughened by sleep and strain. "H-Hey."

She didn’t smile right away. Something flickered behind her visible eye, not quite shame, not quite fear, but something close. A quiet bracing, as if she half-expected Colette’s tone to be sharper, to ask why or to simply admonish.

But it wasn’t, and so, after a beat, Eve’s shoulders eased just slightly. She looked up at her sister and tried a small, tentative smile, not quite steady, but real.

"I'm... fine. I'm glad you came," she murmured.

 

[Colette]

Everest Vale

Now wasn't the time to admonish. That would come later. Now was the time for comfort and recuperation. As much as it would have been easy to give an 'I told you so' or make a joke, that wasn't really what Colette felt like doing either. In truth she didn't quite know what to do. Given her own experiences with this recovery wing there would be a lot of time for Everest to think in the coming days.

"Of course." She said instead and smiled. "You took a bit of a hit, 'least I could do was show up. You did for me."

She reached out for Everest's hand to hold it in her own so she could swipe her thumb across its back and let her know that things were alright.

"Actually kinda proud." She said and blew a warm chuckle from her nose. "I told you it would be bad, but you did it anyway because it was the right thing to do."

"As far as reasons go… That's a pretty good one."

 

[Everest Vale]

Tag: Colette

Eve’s eye dropped for a moment, her fingers curling gently around Colette’s in return. The warmth of her sister’s hand was grounding, a quiet balm against the ache she still hadn’t found words for. But cutting through that ache was something she was so sure of even now.

"I couldn’t not go, Col," she said softly, almost apologetically. "It was Azzie. I didn’t even think. I just... went."

Her gaze lifted again, searching Colette’s face as if for confirmation that it was okay to have chosen love over safety. After a moment, her voice dipped quieter, laced with something tender, as a pale, slender hand squeezed hers.

"But I’m really glad you’re here."

 

[Colette]

Everest Vale

In the end she supposed there was the chance that if it was Everest in place of Azurine, Colette would have done the same. In reality it wasn't a very big chance given the state that Colette was currently in and the sheer strength of those who risked everything to bring Azurine back. Part of fighting a battle was to know when you weren't even supposed to fight to begin with.

"Of course I am." Colette smiled yet again. "You're important, and I know what these beds feel like."

She looked around the room. Stale and sterile, same as Colette's had been. She shook her head and looked back at Everest again.

"At least you won't stay as long as I did, huh? I was crawling out of my skin an hour after waking up. Hated just laying down all day, sleeping."

 

[Everest Vale]

Tag: Colette

Eve let out a small breath, half a laugh, half something else. Something heavier, lingering behind her tired smile.

"Yeah... I think I’m already halfway there. Cuts on my back are getting better. Nurses tell me I just need to wait until my..." She couldn't quite say it yet. "...is healed over fully," she finally finished, skipping over the word, her voice quiet with that familiar weariness. She tried to distract herself by talking about something else. "Feels like the air here never moves. Like everything just... waits."

Her gaze drifted toward the window, though the blinds were drawn. A soft hum of the monitors filled the silence between them, not intrusive, just present. Always there.

"I'm glad you're okay now," she added, turning her gaze back to Colette. "You're so strong." It was undeniable how much inspiration the young Echani drew from her. The strength she saw in Colette gave her that same strength, helped her to see things through no matter how tough it got. It was partly the reason she kept going, knowing that Colette would have done the same.

And then, with a flicker of humour beneath the tenderness:
"It's not too bad here I guess... But if I do go crazy, I’m blaming you for planting the idea."

 

[Colette]

Everest Vale

Strong felt like a strange compliment. Colette didn't feel strong, and especially not in her current state. So many things that should have been possible simply was not. Her endurance was shot, her physical strength weakened.

"Thanks." It felt like a weak response to what she had been told. "And hey, I never said you would, only that I would."

"You going crazy is your problem." She grinned and shook her head. "But, really…"

"Try to not be too hard on yourself for this. You didn't do anything wrong."

 

[Everest Vale]

Tag: Colette

Eve let out a small, breathy laugh — a real one this time — and it caught her by surprise. Her fingers shifted slightly in Colette’s grip, brushing back in a quiet squeeze. But then her gaze drifted, and for a moment, the weight settled back over her like a soft blanket. Not smothering, just there. Present. Truthful.

"I know I didn’t do anything wrong, not really. But part of me still feels like... maybe I should’ve done more. Been... faster... or stronger, somehow." She shrugged, slow and careful. "I guess it’s hard to sit still with all the what-ifs."

Her silver eye returned to Colette. The smile was still there, but tinged now with something gentler; appreciation, unspoken but fierce.

"Thanks for not letting me drown in them."

 

[Colette]

Everest Vale

Everest was soft, and perhaps Colette had to some extent overestimated just how soft she was. The eyepatch might have put on a meaner image, but images hardly mattered. Although their time together hadn't been the longest she had still seen Everest cry or seemingly get overwhelmed often enough that perhaps an undue image had formed in Colette's own head.

It was a disservice to her friend and sister.

"I'm sorry." She said and gripped a little tighter on the Echani woman's hand. "I shouldn't have assumed that you would."

"A lot of people in your situation— our situation just… Take it badly. Blame themselves for what-ifs and what-abouts. Useless and delusional thinking. You are here, your victory is yours, and there is nothing you can do about it anymore."

"I'll…" Colette exhaled a weak laugh. "I'll just have to come back and smack you over the head if you start thinking that way, I guess."

 

[Everest Vale]

Tag: Colette

Eve gave a soft, breathy laugh — barely more than a puff of air through her nose — and tilted her head toward Colette, her voice low but sure, and the smallest grin found its way to the corner of her mouth.

"I can always count on you for a well-placed smack when I need it."

Her eye lingered on Colette's face, quiet for a beat. Then she exhaled, steadily.

"It was hard. Really hard, especially for the first few days. I felt like I was drowning in it all. The pain, the guilt... the helplessness. I wasn't sure what to do with myself. I—" She paused, and forced an exhale.

"I've lost my damn eye." The words fell like a stone into still water — blunt, raw, undeniable. Saying it aloud, profanity and all, was strangely liberating, as if naming the wound gave her some measure of control over it. "And that's... something I just have to deal with."

She paused, letting the silence stretch, not uncomfortably, but like something settling into place.

"Either way, I'm done crying now. I think... I've run out of tears. And what's left..." Her fingers tightened slightly in Colette's hand. "Is fire."

That smile returned, small but lit from within. There was still pain behind her eyes — there always would be — but now, it sat beside something fiercer. Something alive. Something ready.