Star Wars Roleplay: Chaos

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Private Nothing Is Okay


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Another night, another dream. Another time waking up on the ledge of her apartment. Weeks, months. She wasn't even sure how long this had been going on, but the more it happened the less she wanted to resist that step. And this time, she was going to. She was so tired, so exhausted. So worn down. It was Domxite who stopped her. Threw her back, away from the edge. And did the only thing they could think of. She'd been suffering alone with this for so long, but no more.

They sent the message to Valery Noble Valery Noble . They told her what had happened. How Iris needed help. They could only hope the Jedi would come soon.
 


Outfit | XoXo
Location | Coruscant
Tag | Iris Arani Iris Arani

It didn't matter that it was late at night — the moment her emergency comm rang and she read the message from Domxite, Valery kissed her husband on the cheek, rolled out of bed, and threw on her clothes as quickly as she could. He always understood her when it came to situations like this, so without being stopped or delayed at all, she was very swiftly on her way to Iris' apartment.

There was no counting the number of traffic laws she broke either — the only thing that mattered was reaching the Padawan's apartment as quickly as possible, and when she did, Valery burst through the door and looked around frantically to find the young woman. It was something she still needed to remind herself of at times. Iris wasn't the little girl who always needed protection anymore. She had become so much more independent, and so much stronger... but that didn't mean she never needed help either.

"Iris?" Valery asked when she finally spotted her and moved over. "I came as quickly as I could. Are you alright?" She frowned, noticing just how exhausted Iris looked. Their bond in the Force made it easy for Valery to feel just how bad the situation was as well, and she couldn't help but feel awful that it had taken her this long to come over.



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Iris stayed curled up on herself. Out in the rain, up on the roof. It was too much. All of it was too much. Weary, wet eyes stared up towards her master as she clutched her knees to her chest. She just shook her head. She couldn't handle this anymore. She couldn't do this alone anymore.

"I.. I can't stop the dreams. Every night. Every night it's just, constant, horrible dreams. They just- I think Carnifex infected me with something on Tython. I can't- I keep seeing everyone dead. I keep killing everyone. I'm so tired, Master."

Valery Noble Valery Noble
 


Outfit | XoXo
Location | Coruscant
Tag | Iris Arani Iris Arani

Having felt her presence on the roof, Valery joined Iris there and listened to her with a frown, as the cold rain began to soak her long hair. But neither the cold nor the rain phased her at all, as she focused on just how awful Iris felt — only a few times before had she seen her Padawan like this.

"Hey, it's alright," Valery said with that more motherly tone, as she sat down beside Iris and wrapped an arm around her shoulders for comfort. "No matter what he did to you, I'm going to help you figure it out and get through it. But tonight, let me help you get some rest as well. I can keep the dark dreams away." While she said this, Valery allowed the Force to flow out from her and it enveloped her Padawan like a blanket. Her own warmth extended like a safety net, and a more calming aura would hopefully make her feel just a little better.

She hadn't just been trained in keeping the Dark Side from affecting her - she could shield others as well, and she hoped it would be enough as a temporary solution.

"We'll have to find the root of the issue together."



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She clung to her Master at this point. Just clung as tightly as she could. This was always too much. Had been since Tython. But she didn't want to burden anyone anymore than they had been. She wanted to face this on her own, at least once in her life. And now, now she was paying for it. The moment the darkness was brushed back by Valery the Padawan just, finally, fell asleep. It didn't matter she was soaked from the rain, or still outside. She was just so tired.

Valery Noble Valery Noble
 


Outfit | XoXo
Location | Coruscant
Tag | Iris Arani Iris Arani

While Iris finally drifted off into better dreams, Valery remained quiet and watched her with a soft smile. As carefully as she could, she lifted the young woman up and brought her down into the apartment. She was placed in bed, dried off a little with some clothing Valery could find in her room, but at no point was she left alone. It didn't matter how many hours it would take before Iris would wake up, but this was something she needed.

And so Valery waited, and allowed her Light to be a deterrent of the Dark.

When she eventually did wake up, she'd be greeted by Valery, who was sitting in a chair beside her bed. She was a little tired from having skipped out on her own sleep, but it was nothing compared to how restless Iris must have felt. "Good... I'm not actually sure what time it is," she blinked and finally got up.


"Feeling a little better? I can make something to eat, and we can talk a little more about what's targeting you at night."



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Iris opened her eyes and slowly sat up once she was actually awake. For once, she couldn't remember what she dreamed. It brought an honest, relieved smile to her face. Then she remembered where she was. And who was with her. She stared at her Master for a moment longer before the smile cracked. Tears formed in her eyes as she didn't bother holding anything back, and she just cried.

When it finally reached a point she was done, she was curled up on the bed, knees to her chest. Eyes all puffy and red. She sniffled as she hid away there.

".. Food sounds good."

Valery Noble Valery Noble
 


Outfit | XoXo
Location | Coruscant
Tag | Iris Arani Iris Arani

The moment Iris' eyes opened and she realized where she was and what had happened, Valery felt a sudden shift in emotions and watched her Padawan tear up. It made every part of her motherly nature fire up instantly, so she slowly shifted over and sat down to offer more comfort for as long as she needed it.

"It's alright. There are times when things get too much for me, too. It's okay to cry and lean on others when life gets tough," Valery said before she got up and looked over at the kitchen. The mention of food had registered, and soon enough Iris agreed that something to eat would be good. So without any delays, Valery made her way over to the kitchen and made something simple but tasty — pancakes, with whatever she wanted on them.

The scent soon filled the room, and the first plate was of course set in front of Iris, "There you go. Eat as many as you'd like." She offered a smile and sat back down in her chair. "So these dreams..." Valery began after a moment, "They started after Tython? After your encounter with Carnifex?" That name alone got Valery's muscles to tense up a little — no matter where she went or what she did, he always seemed to find a way into her life or of the ones close around her, and make them so much more difficult.




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Pancakes.

Pancakes were good.

With the pancakes on her plate to be feasted upon, Iris let herself kind of relax. Everything was still tense. So much she'd bottled up. She took a bite, a big bite, of the fluffiness as she nodded. "I.. Reached out. To make a meld to fight against him when he infiltrated the camp. Master Aaron was laughing and making jokes about Carnifex and I got frustrated and.. he did something. Some darkness, infested my mind. I- Domxite's been fighting it for me. I only.. I didn't realize it till just a little while ago."

Another bite. ".. It's been dreams. Night after night."

Valery Noble Valery Noble
 


Outfit | XoXo
Location | Coruscant
Tag | Iris Arani Iris Arani

Valery just watched as Iris dug into her plate of pancakes and made sure not to push the conversation. The rest already helped her look a lot better and after a meal, she was hopefully going to have a lot more energy again. And considering what Iris was telling her about next, Valery felt that she was going to need every little bit of it.

"If it's just something dark lingering, there are methods to cleanse the mind. Some Healers are familiar with it, and that might help but..." she paused and tilted her head slightly. "If there's more to it, and it applies on a more personal level as well, then we might have to take other steps to push through it."


"But only you can know for sure."

There was a time when Iris had carved Uncertainty into a tree on Voss, marking it as a weakness she had to overcome. Since then, she had grown a lot more confident in her skills and knew where she stood as both a Jedi and a person. Valery wondered if it was time to revisit all of that.



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"It's- It's like he's there. It's not just a dream, I don't think- He's there. Watching me. Tormenting me. I don't know what he did on Tython, but it's like he's bound himself to my dreams. .. I hate it. I hate him. I hate all of it, so, so much."

She'd stopped eating. She was too angry to keep eating. Her gaze lingered on the stack of pancakes as the room around her just started to shake and tremble with her raw emotion. Just for a second before she took a calming breath. No. No. She wasn't tired any more. She shook her head. "I just- I thought I could handle it. .. I'm so wrong. I don't know what to do, Master."

Valery Noble Valery Noble
 


Outfit | XoXo
Location | Coruscant
Tag | Iris Arani Iris Arani

While Iris explained her situation to the best of her abilities, Valery listened quietly with concern in her eyes. This ran much deeper than just consistent nightmares, visions, or darkness lingering on the edge of her mind — it seemed as if Carnifex was actively tormenting her at night.

"If he managed to bind himself somehow, there's also a way to sever it again," Valery said with an encouraging tone. Even Kahlil's alchemical mark could be removed in the end, and the lengths he had to go to for that were likely far more extreme. Iris, however, is much younger than he was, and this was a different kind of issue.

"It's good that you tried to solve it yourself, but there's nothing wrong about needing help sometimes. I need it all the time, too," she admitted without shame. "Now I'm going to help you again, and I do have an idea." She paused for a moment and gave Iris some time to adjust.


"Do you remember the festival of N'thall? It's coming up again, and while I was wanting to go there for other reasons initially, I think they might be able to assist with this as well. The Voss are very spiritual people, and some possess the ability to even dive into their own or other people's dreams. Perhaps they can guide us."


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Outfit | XoXo
Location | Coruscant
Tag | Iris Arani Iris Arani

Valery nodded, "The healing ritual is one technique they're known for, but another is called dream-walking. It's a technique where they enter their own minds to confront whatever it is that disturbs their spiritual balance. I believe they can teach it to you, and it might be just what you need to address this problem."

She paused and tilted her head, "There might be a way to also allow others to enter these dreams, but this might be a journey for you alone. If you want help though, I'm always here for you."


"Either way, we'll also attend the festival together. Do you still have the wooden pieces from our first visit? If you've conquered any of them, we can burn them at the bonfires."


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Dreamwalking certainly wasn't the lesson she learned on Voss all that time ago. "They like trials of the minds. When I was last there, that's what they had me do. Kind of. I saw a vision of my apartment, back when I was first brought there. It was weird, at first. But yeah, I've done that." It was a brief memory to call back on. The lesson, anyway. The actual memory she faced was little more than a haze of colors in the eyes of a newborn who didn't know how to see through it.

".. I want help." No, doing this alone just wasn't something she could do anymore. Not with this. Iris turned her gaze to her food, taking another bite. Chewing. Swallowing. Nodded.

"I do, yeah. I still have them."

Valery Noble Valery Noble
 


Outfit | XoXo
Location | Coruscant
Tag | Iris Arani Iris Arani

"Then you have some experience already - it should make it easier," Valery said with an encouraging nod. It didn't really surprise Valery that Iris had learned about the healing ritual, as it was likely part of her studies as a Jedi Healer, but experience with going into the mind was something else entirely.

Every little bit would help.

"Then I will help you," Valery continued when Iris expressed her need for it. "Bring them along and we'll also take some time to revisit the festival. But only after we've gotten rid of whatever Carni did to your mind." Ever since she had woken up from stasis, the former Sith Emperor had been a thorn in her side but she'd never give up on fighting it.


"First finish up those pancakes though. I'll get the ship prepped."



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Iris nodded once. With a set goal, she turned back to her food and actually finished the pancakes. It wasn't much longer until she was out to the ship. The two wooden amulets on her hip, dangling from the cord she'd used to make them necklaces. Yeah. This was time to move on. From all of this. She let out a sigh as she popped onboard, nodding once to her master.

"Let's go, Master."

Valery Noble Valery Noble
 


Outfit | XoXo
Location | Coruscant
Tag | Iris Arani Iris Arani

"Alright, grab some clothes and gear, and we'll take my shuttle. A little more comfortable than traveling in X-wings," Valery said with a smile before she got up and left Iris to finish up and prepare. Meanwhile, she'd make sure the shuttle was ready, and once Iris was onboard and inside the cockpit, their journey began.

...

After a rather lengthy trip through Hyperspace, Valery finally pulled the ship back into realspace and took a moment, as her eyes shifted to Voss. It was a planet she had quite a bit of history with — more than she had shared with anybody, really. But this trip wasn't about her, and that was of no concern to her either. To be able to help her Padawan on an important part of their journey of self-discovery was a lot more meaningful.

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to, but did you conquer both of the things you wrote down?" Valery asked as they came down through the atmosphere, and reached the planet during the early evening. Bonfires were already going, and the festival down below was in full swing. But before they'd go down there, Valery wanted to add to her question, "And are there new things you might want to carve out for the future?"

"As we develop ourselves, it's normal that we also develop new fears, new weaknesses. Revisiting the festival isn't just about what you've conquered, but also about what you might still have to conquer. A proper reflection of yourself."


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Iris spent the trip, surprisingly, meditating. Of all the things she could've been doing, just sitting down after a good nights rest and a good meal to clear her mind seemed like the best. Especially here, in the void of space. Where the only colors to see where her own and her Masters. Well, maybe her own. It was one of the few things she couldn't actually see in the world of colors she was used to. Her own. They were overwhelmed by the sea usually around her.

Even now, they were overshadowed by the brightness of Valery's.

Perhaps she should come out here alone, some time. Just float in space and truly look at herself. .. After this was over. The greying of her colors wasn't something she wanted to see again, and she could already tell what was causing it.

"I did." Uncertainty. On who she was and what she was supposed to be, that had always held her back. But through everything she faced, through everything she did, that feeling of unsureness was gone. She knew who she was, and what she wanted to be. Kai, though. That was a harder process to figure out. But she found her answer, and how it was a strength rather than a weakness.

Her first true friend didn't mean that she had to do everything for him or solve all his problems.

"Emotions. Or, a lack of control on them, anyway." Perhaps it was the nightmares that made them so hard to control, or perhaps it was just because she was still learning what it meant to feel. Either way, she had her outbursts. "And manners." That one had her laugh, nervously, as she looked back to Valery. "Hindsight's pretty powerful, isn't it?"

Valery Noble Valery Noble
 


Outfit | XoXo
Location | Coruscant
Tag | Iris Arani Iris Arani

While she listened to Iris, Valery was all smiles — she had always cared a great deal about a Jedi's ability to self-reflect. It was, to Valery, part of the Jedi's Conquer and Honors to not only honor honesty by behavior towards others, but it was equally important, to be honest with the self. To recognize strengths, weaknesses, and their progression so that a Jedi was always learning and growing in new ways.

Iris had just demonstrated that she could do this. The comment about manners got her to snort a little though, "You should see the way my husband looks at me when I come home hungry and he's got a meal prepared," she said in response with a smirk, as the ship came down towards the surface and touched down not long after.

"Alright, let's first head to the Voss mystics and dive into the mind. Perhaps I'll be able to cross into it as well, but should that not be the case..." she stood up, paused, and turned to Iris, "You've gotten very strong as a person, Iris. You'll get rid of this... curse, one way or another."

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