Private Nothing Is Okay

[Iris Arani]

"He sounds like he knows you well."

Iris chuckled just a little, watching Valery. It was good to see that side of her that her husband seemed to be the only one to bring out. Not that she looked for long. Pride, just for a moment, welled in her chest as she looked down. Smiled. Had she really grown so much? No, no. Valery wouldn't lie. Ever.

"I don't know if I ever can be, but I want to be as strong as you, Master."

Valery Noble

 

[Valery Noble]

Outfit | Weapon | Appearance

Outfit | XoXo
Location | Coruscant
Tag | Iris Arani

"He sounds like he knows you well."

"Yeah, he's very... special," she said with a loving smile that did little to hide the intense feelings she had for him. No matter how much time passed, her love for him and the family they started always grew stronger. But he wasn't the only one who could bring out true happiness in her — her Padawans were very good at it too, and the pride she had when she talked about them was impossible to miss.

"I don't know if I ever can be, but I want to be as strong as you, Master."

Valery smiled and rested a hand on Iris' shoulder, "You're on the right path to achieve great things, Iris, and you already have, too. If you stay true to who you are, nothing is stopping you from doing the things I've done or getting as strong as you need to help people everywhere." She always felt Iris had a lot of potential, and she felt confident that her Padawan could tap into it. Her recent focus on training was a testament to it.

"Now, let's beat this curse," she said before she grinned and brought Iris off the ship, and through the spaceport. Even if Iris was feeling better, Valery didn't want to waste any time, and immediately arranged a ride to the tower where the Voss mystics would be to help them. "The last time you were here, you explored the mind as well, right? What was it like to go into it?"

​

 

[Iris Arani]

Could she actually get that strong? Maybe. Right now? Iris nodded her head. They had the curse to beat.

"It was looking into memories. My earliest. Being brought to the apartment by my mother, and when she died."

Valery Noble

 

[Valery Noble]

Outfit | Weapon | Appearance

Outfit | XoXo
Location | Voss
Tag | Iris Arani

Valery dipped her head, "Unless Carnifex' influence is making you see specific things over and over again from the past, this can be a little different. With visions of the Force or memories, the past comes with clarity, as there's nothing fluid about it anymore. The emotions and facts are all set in stone," Valery began to explain.

"But dreams or the future are vague and powerful in what feelings they can provoke. To go into your own mind to address them can be quite... challenging because of that." She paused as they approached the long staircase up the tower of Mystics, and turned to her Padawan.

"But whatever it is you see, you must confront it. With or without me being there."

​

 

[Iris Arani]

"They weren't of the past, no. They were of you, everyone, dying. Your husband killing them. .. Maybe not your husband? It's.. Difficult to describe, I guess." A dark mirror, perhaps? Whatever it was, Iris nodded. Now it was time to actually prepare to face whatever it was she was about to. Face down the dreams. Face down Darth Carnifex and the nightmares.

She nodded once, looking at her master with a rather determined expression.

"Okay. I'm ready."

Valery Noble

 

[Valery Noble]

Outfit | Weapon | Appearance

Outfit | XoXo
Location | Voss
Tag | Iris Arani

"You've seen him before," Valery said with a slight frown, "Or well, at least what he did — I think you may have seen the man who stabbed me on Ossus." A memory that seemed so far away, but it took little effort to bring back that painful day. She almost lost everything if it wasn't for the quick intervention of Kahlil and her 2 Padawans.

With a shake of her head, she focused again on the here and now.

"While we were in hyperspace, I sent a message so they're already waiting for us," Valery said as they moved up the winding staircase and reached the room of mystics soon after. They were all positioned around a pair of tables they had quickly placed together, and some simple cushions were prepared too.

"Make yourselves comfortable, and we will guide you into your own minds," the lead Mystic began.

Valery nodded and looked at Iris, "If you want me to come along, my idea was that we form our Meld and I attempt to cross the bridge into your mind, while the Mystics help you enter the dreams," Valery explained while she moved to sit on the table. It sure was helpful that she maintained good connections everywhere, or arranging this would have been a lot more difficult.

"I'll follow your lead, Iris."

​

 

[Iris Arani]

That's right. Iris hadn't actually seen the man directly, not like Bri. But she did see him. His colors. Her husband, but not. Hopefully it wasn't something they'd have to see again, but Iris had a feeling it would be, in time. She nodded once the mystics, curiously looking to see if there was one familiar. No, no one. Not too surprising. This was a completely different type of healing to go through.

"We meld, and you help me rid Carnifex from my mind. .. This isn't a trial for me to do alone, Master. I need your help."

Valery Noble

 

[Valery Noble]

Outfit | Weapon/Weapon | Appearance

Outfit | XoXo
Location | Voss
Tag | Iris Arani

"And you'll always have it," Valery said with a nod while she sat down and shifted her legs up on the table to lie down. The back of her head rested on the pillow and she tried to keep her body relaxed. She had formed melds with Iris more times than she could count, but never before had they gone so deep into each other's minds.

There were always risks to doing it, but Valery trusted that Iris would form a strong and stable bridge between their minds. If anybody could do it, she could.

"Close your eyes, form the bridge, and allow yourselves to drift away," The Voss Mystic said as he, and others, began to gather around the two Jedi. Their part of the ritual only involved guiding Iris into her own dreams, and the rest was left to the senior Padawan, who would be able to bring along the woman she had a very close bond with.

"Let's do this," Valery said before she closed her eyes and put all her trust in Iris.

​

 

[Iris Arani]

Iris nodded once as she settled down into a seated position. Let her eyes close. Let her mind drift. Little by little the world she'd been trying so hard to just see faded. Swallowed by the swirl of color she'd always tried to part. The mystics around her faded. The pillars, the room. Herself. Everything swallowed by the hues of the Force.

Save for one.

The beacon that'd been the first to open her eyes. The one who brought her from the sea to find her footing on land. She reached out towards it, the lighthouse in the storm. Pulled it to herself. Clutching that light to her chest as she pulled her Master into the meld.

<I'm ready.>

In her mind, she stood, hand in hand with Valery in the midsts of the colors. She offered only a brief smile to the woman who'd only helped to keep her grounded. Then turned her gaze elsewhere. The black storm within. All her fear and uncertainty, consuming the sea of colors from the seed that had been planted in her mind. The storm she now had to face.

<Let's not keep him waiting.>

Valery Noble | Darth Carnifex

 

[Darth Carnifex]

The way into the storm was fraught with terror.

Dark clouds churned with malignancy as flashes of lightning, bright as blood, slashed through the eerie gloom. There were shapes in the darkness, half-formed nightmares that reached out towards them before collapsing into ash. Everything seethed with the Dark Side, the very air around them tense as though teetering on a knife's edge. The Dark Lord had dug His claws in deep within the darkest recesses of her psyche, festering like a cancerous growth.

Structures, unburdened by gravity, peered out from the gloom. Pillars of fragmented crystal slowly pivoted, surrounded by the faceless statues, rune-studded obelisks, and pieces of buildings from a dozen different cultures. Some of it was foreign, but much of it was familiar to Iris. They were slivers of her memories, pulled from within her mind; broken and twisted. The dark presence in her mind preyed upon her most intimate fears, her most shameful inadequacies, so it was not surprising to see some of that grotesquely reflected back at her.

Yet, despite all of the harrowing sights, they had yet to come across the Shadow. He was there, they could sense Him, but He hadn't yet revealed Himself. He was lurking at the edge of their awareness, a darkness at the periphery of their sight. The glow of His eyes cut through the darkness, intoxicating beacons of utter hatred and depravity. They disappeared when the pair drew near, but would always reappear further away in time.

Like He was guiding them, coaxing them forward, ever forward, into the darkness.

Suddenly, it appeared as though the gloom parted like a curtain as the vast emptiness engulfed them. It was the same expanse that Iris had experienced in her dreams, and she would know that they were in the heart of it all; the epicenter of her suffering. He was there, a dark cloaked pulled tight around Him so that all they could see was His vague outline. He was hunched over, His eyes peering at them from beneath the hood which swallowed His features.

Those eyes seemed to stare directly into Iris, as a voice from the void filled her head.

"Are you truly ready?"

Iris Arani | Valery Noble ​

 

[Valery Noble]

Outfit | Weapon/Weapon | Appearance

Outfit | XoXo
Location | Voss
Tag | Iris Arani Darth Carnifex

With her eyes closed, Valery focused only on her mind and the bridge she allowed to form between herself and Iris. For most, it was a risky endeavor, a link that could enhance but also cripple all those within it severely. For them, it was natural — an extension of their already powerful bond in the Force, and the dynamic between a Master and Padawan. It was always a strength they had; today, they needed it to confront this darkness together.

When Valery's eyes opened, she found herself surrounded by the colors her Padawan always perceived. Still, in the distance, a storm created a stark contrast to the beauty of her usual worldview. It was the source of her problems, a manifestation of her inner fears and doubts now forced into her mind by Carnifex.

There was only one path now.

<Let's not keep him waiting.>

Valery dipped her head in acknowledgment and followed Iris towards the storm. All around her, she noticed images and memories, some familiar to her, others not. Parts of Iris' life that now came back to haunt her in twisted forms, but confronting them wasn't done directly in the outskirts of this dark storm. They could both sense him already, deeper within and beckoning them to get closer.

"He's here," Valery said, as she felt his gaze shift to them, but focus on Iris in the end.

"Are you truly ready?"

Valery drew in a small breath and looked at Iris, "You are."

​

 

[Iris Arani]

Her nightmares always revolved around two concepts. Failure. Failure to protect Domxite from the fallen Thalia Senn . Failure to hold her own against the monsters of the Galaxy, forced only to run. Failure to be the friend she wanted to be for Kai Bamarri . Failure that she wasn't someone he could trust and had to try to rip her thoughts away. Failure to protect herself, time and time again. The disruptor that took part of her hand. The numerous times she'd been shot. The train that left her in rehab for months.

And loss. So many people died around her, but none she personally knew. None she called friend, or considered family. She dreaded the day one was going to die. In this war, not just against the Maw, people were going to die. Her fear of loss was all consuming. She prayed that none she knew would die, just to spare her having to confront that loss. Iris paused at one of those scenes. Stared down at the misshapen bodies of her friends.

"Are you truly ready?"

To face this alone? No.

Purple eyes shifted up towards her Master. And she nodded.

"It's time for you to leave, Carnifex."

She wasn't alone this time. Her gaze turned to the shade, narrowed in focus and determination. "You've never been welcome here."

Valery Noble | Darth Carnifex

 

[Darth Carnifex]

"I am that which you refuse to recognize," responded the Shade, "The darkness that gnaws at your soul."

Gloved hands reached out from the dark confines of the Shade's cloak, fingers grasping the edge of His hood before pulling it back. What was revealed to them was not the face that had maligned them for so long, but rather the face of a child; several years Iris' junior. While the face would have been unknown to Master Valery, Iris would have quickly recognized it as the face of the child that had occupied her visions of the Jedi Temple. Always the one that spoke to her, always the one that dragged her down into nightmare.

Casting off the dark cloak, the child took several tentative steps towards the pair. Gone were the Padawan robes, replaced by a militaristic tunic cinched at the waist by a plain leather belt. The collar clung tight to the boy's neck, keeping His head upright as He peered at the two Jedi with those monstrous red-in-black eyes. The tanned complexion, the angular cheekbones, and the slicked back black hair all pointed to one sudden realization.

This was the Dark Lord in His youth, spun from His own memories and made manifest in Iris' mind.

When He spoke, He did so with the voice of a child. "All that you have suffered was dealt by your own hand, Iris Arani. We did not invent any of it, we only uncovered what was already there. Your insecurities are like a dagger held firm against your neck, your own hands wrapped around the hilt." He took another step, the watery ground rippling out in every direction with bright scintillating waves. "There's still time, you know. Take that weapon of yours and run it straight through your skull, Lady Noble will weep with joy once you've finally made the right decision. Won't you, Lady Noble?"

In the real world, Iris' fingers briefly twitched.

Iris Arani | Valery Noble ​

 

[Valery Noble]

Outfit | Weapon/Weapon | Appearance

Outfit | XoXo
Location | Voss
Tag | Iris Arani Darth Carnifex

For a few moments, Valery watched Iris closely and felt the way she responded to these images through the Force. While warped and twisted, this part of her dream was confrontational and targeted those things that could hurt her most. No matter how experienced, it would never be an easy thing to face for anybody, but that's why she wasn't alone. Her purple eyes shifted to her Master, and Valery just offered a reassuring smile.

They were going to handle this together.

"It's time for you to leave, Carnifex."

Valery stopped and turned her fiery eyes forward, into the storm from where a young boy appeared. She didn't recognize the face but what she felt in the Force quickly answered her questions. He then removed his cloak, stepped closer, and began to speak, but Valery made no move at all, and just watched him carefully. "If you believe that's convincing, then you clearly do not understand our bond." Her eyes briefly shifted to Iris but nothing really needed to be said between them. They knew how strong their relationship was — they could feel it through their bond.

"It is time for you to go."

​

 

[Iris Arani]

Her fingers twitched.

Then clenched into a fist. Iris stared at the image of this boy. The same from before. Carnifex, as a child. Her gaze shifted to her master as Valery spoke. Nodded, just a little. No, these fake dreams weren't going to work. Not right now. Not again. Her purple eyes again focused on the boy before her, narrowing in focus. The ritual made everything more real, didn't it? This would be the last time she'd let him in her head.

Beside her, another stepped out. Another boy, young. Tired. But smiling all the same. The boy from before, when she first met Domxite. The boy she tried to shield from a shade of Carnifex so long ago.

"I can't stop you alone. But I've never been alone here. Spare your tricks and just get out."

Darth Carnifex | Valery Noble

 

[Darth Carnifex]

The young boy raised a single finger and wagged it back and forth, tsking derisively as He did. "Neither of you understand, you still do not see. I already told you the answer to the question you didn't know you were asking, there are no tricks here." He spread His arms wide, gesturing the emptiness around them. "This dark corner of Iris' mind did not spring from nothing, we cannot plant seeds in fallow earth. All that you have seen, all that she has experienced, has been made possible because of what we found deep in her mind; things that she did not even realize were there. What we have sown, Iris Arani has reaped."

Ah, but what was this we that the boy was speaking of? As far as they could tell, He was the only entity skulking about in the bowels of her subconscious, influencing her dreams, and animating her slumbering body to near-death at night. That was only partially true, for the Dark Lord of the Sith did not work alone.

He never truly worked alone.

As the words passed by His lips, the boy's shadow lengthened considerably. A pair of eyes, crude facsimiles anyways, appeared on the shadow's face. A mischievous grin burst forth, stretching from ear to ear, and dazzling in its impossibly wide proportions. "Oohoohoo~ I didn't think I'd ever get to say my hellos, dearest little morsels. He's so greedy, keeping me all locked away while He gets to have all the fun!" The shadow lumbered up, standing almost as tall as they were, but utterly oblique and misshapen. Some features formed on its face, quite feminine, but otherwise the shadow remained amorphous and indistinct.

"They think they were so clever taking our little treat to Voss, to seek the aid of the oh so high and mighty Mystics. What charlatans! The true Mystics died off years ago, He made sure of that." The shadow looked to the young boy, who remained silent and still as a statue. "How quickly a hallowed order falls when riven from within, and what delicious secrets He wrung from their weak flesh!" The shadow giggled cruelly before slithering across the ground and appearing near to the new child that stood next to Iris.

"What secrets will we learn when we wring your flesh, tasty morsel?"

Iris Arani | Valery Noble ​

 

[Valery Noble]

Outfit | Weapon/Weapon | Appearance

Outfit | XoXo
Location | Voss
Tag | Iris Arani Darth Carnifex

"We all have an inner darkness we must control and prevent from controlling us," Valery said as she glanced around once more at this darker part of her Padawan's mind. It didn't surprise her that parts of these images were real, but she also understood they were twisted to become something far darker, something that was more difficult to resist. "Iris has always been strong enough to resist, unlike you," she added, her fiery gaze now shifting back to the younger version of Carnifex.

"She will resist it again."

The woman's gaze then turned away again, this time to the shadow that extended and warped into another being of some kind. One, unlike the younger boy, she didn't recognize at all. It stepped towards the other young boy beside Iris, which Valery responded to by stepping around her Padawan to face it. "You will accomplish or learn nothing, it's time to go," she said before glancing at Iris while she began to draw on the Force to prepare herself to help rid her mind of darker entities.

But while Valery could offer her strength and support, to truly remove Carnifex from her mind, she feared that Iris would have to make that push herself. It was her mind, and it could likely only be cleansed through her efforts.

​

 

[Iris Arani]

Iris.

"I know." Her gaze flicked towards the looming shadow as it appeared beside Domxite. The presence of them, of her Master, it was more than enough for her to stay calm. Even now. She stepped forward, past the boy. Touching his shoulder. Then she swung. Where the boy had been, only a shimmering blade remained. Now in her grasp, slicing through the darkness for the shade before her. Color leached around her as she did, quite literally staining the darkness she'd been so consumed by. With every dark memory, there was light to it. Reason to keep moving forward.

The twisted imagery started to fade as she fought back.

Darth Carnifex | Valery Noble

 

[Darth Carnifex]

The Shadow recoiled.

Though not in pain nor fear, but in anger and disdain. Mouth slipped open, fanged teeth dripping with poison. "You think a little drum circle is going to rid yourself of us? We are the ill intent within the heart of all who draw breath! We cannot be beaten, we cannot be exorcised, we are eternal!" Darkness spread forth from the Shadow, rushing out in all direction before calcifying into bulbous growths that resembled dead and desiccated coral. Buboes oozed from within the calcified rot, ripping open to reveal great lidless eyes that pulsated with malign loathing.

All the while, the boy remained quiet and still. He was watching them all, not just the Jedi, but the Shadow as well. Rarely had she been driven to such wroth, and it piqued His curiosity to see it displayed once more. It was a clash of wills, two against two, light against dark. Warm colors split through blackness, like oil on water, and the darkness sought to drag the color into it. What had once been a dormant tumor had now erupted into full hostility; lashing out against anything around it regardless of what damage it may inflict upon its host.

The Shadow reached out, hand morphing into a sickle-bladed claw, to strike down the Jedi in a fit of unrestrained anger. Claw met blade, and there was a great ringing as though the Shadow had struck a mighty bronze bell. The child's face shifted into a grimace of confusion, the only emotion He had ever shown at any point during this exorcism. A flash of light accompanied the unbearable gong, and all the world was swallowed by nothingness.

When sight and sound returned, they were no longer in the darkness of Iris' mind. Their environment had shifted, becoming a courtyard wrought from marbled stone and terracotta tiles. A tree, tall and strong, was planted at its center. Golden leaves wafted in the cool breeze, plump fruit dangled from its branches. Above the lip of the courtyard's perimeter were a series of tall towers rising up from the castle that the courtyard was surely placed within. It was a few hours after midday, but even so the twin moons of Thyferra could be seen hanging low in the sky as the sun waned from its seat in the heavens.

Laughter filled the air as two boys, near the same age, raced into the courtyard. Their skin was olive, their hair black as midnight, and their eyes shone a brilliant emerald. Each were garbed in similar clothing, unadorned vestments made for comfort and ease.

"I told you I was faster, Mordecai." The lad's voice was strong, but youthful, carrying little of the booming timbre that it would become feared for later in life.

The other boy stuck out his tongue, "Just because you're the oldest doesn't mean you're better at everything, Kaine!"

Another laugh, "Wanna bet? How about we wrestle! Loser has to admit total defeat to the victor!"

The boy, Mordecai, smiled mischievously, "You're on, Kaine, and this time it'll be you who's groveling at my feet!"

"Not a chance!"

The two boys closed the distance between them quickly, hands reaching out as the two began to grapple. Their muscles, still developing, bulged and strained as the two struggle against one another. Despite the ferocity of their bout, their smiles never slipped from their faces even when their eyes blazed with the fury of their competitiveness.

Valery Noble | Iris Arani ​

 

[Valery Noble]

Outfit | Weapon/Weapon | Appearance

Outfit | XoXo
Location | Voss
Tag | Iris Arani Darth Carnifex

With Iris moving into the clash against the darkness of her own mind, Valery finally made a move as well and drew her blade to stand together with her Padawan. This was no ordinary battle — the rules of reality and combat as they knew them no longer mattered as much, but the danger she felt was very much real. The corruptive forces twisted and turned, shaping themselves into new monstrosities that began to lash out at the two Jedi.

In response, Valery brought her arms outwards, and manifested her own power in the form of pure light, hoping to help Iris vanquish this corruption from her mind. But as she did, and Iris clashed again with the shadows, something began to change. A loud gong echoed through their minds, and a bright flash of light took them away from Iris' Shadow Lands, and into an entirely new scene, wildly unfamiliar to the Jedi Master.

"Iris, are you doing this?" She asked, clearly a little confused at first.

But when she spotted the boys running, and felt through the Force who she was looking at, she understood that this journey was far more elaborate than just purging a mark left behind on Iris' mind.

"Do you know why we're seeing this?" she asked, as they began their competitive little wrestling match.

​