Nyorks and Honey[PM for Invite]

[Hal Terrano]

He didn't really have the answers that [member="Avalore Eden"] was looking for. Unfortunately what soothing that the healer sought could only be found by her own hand. Of course, reflection was never a wise pastime when you were in a state that led to very visceral floor weeping. She had to find and rebuild her own faith, Hal could only guide her so far.

“You get it together,” he said sternly, pointing at his own head with his free hand, the other hand still locked in a vice grip around her wrist.

Because eventually she would be alone, with her own thoughts and nobody would be there to pacify her. No kind words, or sentiments. No rocks, no toads. Just self-cannibalising thoughts and notions heavy enough to sink any Jedi into the abyss.

“Stop listening to those doubts, because they are wrong.”

If only Hal Terrano was susceptible to his own advice. Should she take it when he himself couldn't? Sowing those oats of lies. How about we round it all out with some truth.

“I would not be here on Cato Neimoidia if I didn't know that you were strong enough, Avalore. I would not have come here with you, if I did not have faith in you."

After all, who else held such high stock in faith other than our Code loving, Tenet sprouting blond brick of a man?

 

[Avalore Eden]

Brow furrowed, eyes downturned, the Chief Healer of the Jedi Order frowned deeply.

He was right, but words spoken were so much easier heard and understood than followed. Get it together.

Get it together.

How? How could she when so much death, despair and suffering remained with her. Avalore felt saturated by it since Commenor, and perhaps it was the dire straights the Republic now faced that had sent the Healer spiraling downwards. Everything seemed so hopeless. The shadow that now hung over them loomed across their every boarder, their every sanctuary.

Somehow they had to find hope. Somehow she had to come to terms with this life she chose, but she couldn't do it by drowning in what couldn't be changed: the past.

Avalore had a lot to think about.

The young woman slowly nodded, watery brown eyes looking back up at her stoic companion, "Thanks Hal."

[member="Hal Terrano"]

 

[Hal Terrano]

“Do not worry about it, Avalore,” Hal said, managing to make a perfectly relaxed statement sound stiff and formal. That was his one true calling, didn't you know? In that moment he finally looked at her, those soggy paper bag eyes finally daring to make contact with his twin glaciers. He wanted to go in, wanted to hug her, maybe even kiss her.

It was that same urge, that same fire in his chest that brought him into a shouting match upon Manaan. A veritable maelstrom of conflicting emotions that left him paralysed, unable to pick the correct path. What was the correct path.

He let go of her wrist, moving that same hand up to Avalore's shoulder, granting a gentle squeeze, the very touch burning those sober sensibilities.

“Sleep,” he said, “I will still be here when you wake.”

---

To Hal's credit he never ran away.

He did however bury himself within the archives. Of course, not to break schedule too much he still did his regimented exercise, but the meditation and Code contemplation was…not so much abandoned but conveniently rescheduled, until a time in which Terrano could face himself came.

Avalore was given space over those few days, he knew that when she was ready that the Healer would come to him. Rushing her fears and struggles would offer no benefit.

However in a moment of Hal Terrano madness he found himself ordering a small shipment of Krayt Dragon Porridge. No, the oats were now sowed by krayt dragons, nor were they made from the ferocious creatures, that would be ridiculous. Rather they were oats that came with small sugar-coated eggs, that when placed in water dissolved, revealing small candy krayt dragons that added a nice hint of sweetness and crunch to the ideal breakfast dish.

Initially he frowned at the concept of it all, but then offered a small hint of mental appreciation to the silliness. He thought of [member="Avalore Eden"]'s silliness. He liked that silliness, even if he often scowled at it.

 

[Avalore Eden]

Apparently a few days spent to oneself were rather more helpful than Avalore could have ever imagined.

She'd spent plenty of it catching up on sleep, and a good portion of it catching up on sanity and serenity. Meditation - she was doing it again. She was cleansing herself of doubt and anguish, renewing her resolve, seeking out her next goal, searching herself for the next great thing. Next invaluable idea. Once upon a time, back before "Chief Healer" or "Master Eden," Avalore had thought bringing the teachings of Master Moridena to the next generation was the next great thing. Already on her way to accomplishing this, she'd hit a few snags here and there.

The first snag? The Sanctuary was rather unprepared and under-prepped for such a task. For one, it lacked the next generation.

Easy fix - get some Padawans. Check.

The second snag? That, as she realized finally, is where she had gotten stuck.

Space, amenities - things sorely lacking here. Suddenly with the addition of a few people she'd become painfully aware of just how small the Sanctuary really was. Cozey quarters had suddenly become a sardine can. The Sanctuary was safe, it was secure, it was home, but it wasn't big enough to encompass all the things needed to accomplish her goals. It needed to expand, it needed repairs and refurbishment, it needed additions, it needed a lot of things, and to fulfill all these needs she needed funds.

Avalore checked the balance on her own credit account - a comfortable amount of numbers sat there alongside the list of deposits of Diana's royalties and withdraws for all the other little necessities of life. Admittedly, she thought to herself, she probably didn't need to spend as much money on that dress for the Hapes ball as she did. But where [member="Meeristali Peradun"] was involved, Avalore was a bit more willing to be... what was the word, free?

A heavy sigh followed. The Healer swallowed and gently cleared her throat, closing down the datapad on her lap. Thinking about Stali made her think of her failures on Commenor, and that was rather counterproductive to everything she'd overcome in the last few days. With a frown, she very willfully forced the thoughts from her mind and sat up from the desk in her room.

Funds. She had some, but likely not enough to cover the projects she had in mind - and it wasn't only her projects she had to think about. The Sanctuary was as much Hal's home as it was hers, even if it fully and legally belonged to her. Making changes to only suit her own needs wasn't right, she had to talk to Hal.

Luckily he wasn't a very difficult man to find.

Check his room - no. Check the kitchen and common rooms - no. Check the archives last and realize she should have just checked them first - yes.

"Hal," her voice still rasp from little use over the last few days, Avalore stepped inside quietly in a decidedly far more calm state of mind than last time hugging to her chest the same datapad from before. She wore only her casual civilian clothes today - a blue tank, yoga pants, hair pulled into a disheveled bun, feet bare. The Healer quietly padded in.

"Do you have some time? I need to talk to you about something."

[member="Hal Terrano"]

 

[Hal Terrano]

Deja vu.

Had they been here before? Hal sitting before the blue screen until his eyes felt like furry hard boiled eggs, [member="Avalore Eden"] quietly slipping into the dimly lit room. Was she going to collapse again into a state of tears? Would he, in his emotionally constipated state offer stability when all he wanted to give was emotion?

Over, and over again.

He of course remained in his brown Jedi robes, to be seen without them would have likely been classified as nudity on his part. A light dusting of stubble came over his features, something that had been irking the man all day. A persistent itch, his fingers would reach up now and again and give a small scritch scritch, soothing the need for another twenty minutes. Hal remarked that he would shave and clean up his face once he was done here for the day.

His eyes flicked up, looking over the screen and at the Chief Healer.

“Yes,” he said stiffly, “I have time.”

All the time in the world, for you.

“What do you need?”

 

[Avalore Eden]

There was a moment of hesitation when that deja vu hit Avalore as well. Somehow those emotions had been caught in the realm of this room, and the flashback of her breakdown nearly caused a relapse. She could feel the well of it beginning to surge from the pit of her soul and the taste of bile landed on the back of her tongue.

Avalore swallowed hard, "...I..."

Focus, Avalore, get a grip. You're over it, don't fail Hal again.

Don't fail Hal.

Eyes stinging, she cleared her throat lightly and gave a glance down at the datapad, suddenly embarrassed and unsure how to continue. Thumbing on the device, brows knitted, the visual of the blueprint layout reminded her of her goal. Feet as heavy as iron, she took one step forward.

Then another.

And another.

One foot in front of the other. The wheels were spinning again, the cogs jumped back into motion. Emotion swilled back down the proverbial mental drain. Flush. Like a bad meal. Like her fething Nyork Chowder.

"I want to make some changes to the Sanctuary..." at first her words didn't sound so certain, like a gradeschooler answering a teacher's question with a question. Question mark. She realized quite suddenly how absurd she sounded. This was her Sanctuary, after all, this was her home. She had every right to do with it as she pleased.

"...additions, expand the grounds. These were my ideas, but I wanted your input. It's as much your home now as it is mine."

A frowning-smile met Hal's gaze as she handed him the datapad and crossed her arms to let him look.

"We need more dorms for more Jedi and students. I was thinking of renovating the first floor for this. If we do bunks, we could put another twenty people in there. Maybe section off some more private rooms for visiting Knights and guests, put the resident House Masters and Knights in the third floor. Then there's the training room that I've taken over as a small infirmary. I'd like to expand that and make it a dedicated medical wing and training center for Healers. We could do the same to the library, make it a more official Archive for you and your students. What do you think?"

[member="Hal Terrano"]

 

[Hal Terrano]

Heart jumped up to his throat, and for that split second Hal truly thought that [member="Avalore Eden"] was about to collapse into a brand new state of lament. That was the waking nightmare after all. Hal Terrano, emotionally impotent, unable to help his Chief Healer in her time of need.

Please, wake up.

He watched. A grain of concern laced through frozen eyes as he observed those foot steps of trepidation come towards him. The silence was deafening, only the mild humming of the console to console either one of them. One at a time. Easy does it.

Don't fall, please don't fall.

Finally Avalore spoke, voice displaying all that uncertainty that felt like the very structure of their lives at that moment in time. What if, what if, what if.

Confidence came to her words and it was only then that Hal actually listened to what the woman was saying rather than how she was saying it. The datapad came to his hands and he stared at yet another screen, eyes feeling vacant and unfocused while he did so.

There were no real qualms with her requests, in fact he thought expansion to be a grand idea. Even if it was the furthest thing from his mind at that moment.

“Greenhouse,” was all he said, the word bursting out from his mouth like a boulder.

 

[Avalore Eden]

Avalore blinked and peered curiously down at the datapad to see if maybe she'd missed something.

"Well, no, it's more off-white I think. I wasn't really planning on painting it. Green's a bit garish for a whole house, Hal."

[member="Hal Terrano"]

 

[Hal Terrano]

He countered her blink with one of his own.

Then another.

“No...”

Right hand came up to scratch at that sweet spot on his cheek again, his brow furrowing in frustration as things seemed to be very much lost in translation. Scritch scritch scritch. Had Avalore never heard of a greenhouse before…? No, that would be ridiculous. Like krayt dragon porridge.

“….a greenhouse…”

No, [member="Avalore Eden"] surely wasn't that daft.

“...for plants….and herbs...”

Hal made sure to say everything very slowly.

 

[Avalore Eden]

"Oh...oh,"

Oh.

Not even the good kind of oh, oh, oh.

Boy did Avalore feel sheepish. She gave a light snort, "I knew that...I was just teasing." Sidelong glance. Yep.

"But that's a great idea. It could go... maybe on the roof? We don't get much sunlight here, but if any spot around here gets the most it's up there. Expand Diana's garden. Would be nice for meditation, too. Could grow medicinal herbs and ingredients there. Any other ideas?"

[member="Hal Terrano"]

 

[Hal Terrano]

Hal just stared at Avalore, giving her more of an incredulous stare for once rather than a typical frown, or blank slate expression.

Roll for teasing.

Minus ten to teasing for painting houses, doesn't even matter what you rolled now.

That's a no go, girl.

Inwardly a smile came to him, of course it didn't even dare to breach upon his lips. That was the [member="Avalore Eden"] silliness that he secretly cherished. Even there it soothed him somewhat, posture becoming just a fraction more relaxed.

“Yes, the roof is good.”

Did he actually have any other ideas? He blinked. She had already mentioned the archive, and that was his prime concern, beyond the suggestion of a greenhouse this was purely the healer's realm. Well, except for one thing.

“I need a new pot,” he finally responded after his contemplative silence. It sounded almost ridiculous, Avalore was talking proper renovations, major structural changes and all he wanted was a new pot to boil oats in. Despite this fact the words were said with no mirth, just those standard sombre tones.

 

[Avalore Eden]

"A new...pot?" the Healer blinked, leveling a curious gaze on her Jedi companion and trying not to look incredulous. She opted for amusement. Endearing, even.

"For your oats, is it?" a wry side-smirk, Avalore poked at Hal's middle, "I suppose I can work that in to the budget. We can go pot-shopping this afternoon."

The brief chuckle that escaped her was one saturated with a sense of relief. Not at the simple request of her friend, but at how easy it seemed to return to normal around him. Just days ago she'd fallen all to pieces right here, in this very room, and today she had expected some strange awkwardness to remain. But no, to her surprise and relief, there was none. Hal wasn't treating her like a ticking time-bomb - something that was oddly comforting.

It was almost as if he had faith in her.

"But let's talk archives first. Basically what I'm doing with everything else is mocking up what I'd like to have if the credits weren't an issue. From there I'm cutting it back to necessities, and then extras that I could afford with some more funding. What I want to do is write up a proposal for the renovations and upgrades, then present it to the Purse Council and see if they'd be willing to fund it in return for services to the populace."

[member="Hal Terrano"]

 

[Hal Terrano]

Despite [member="Avalore Eden"]'s amusement Hal's expression remained as serious as ever. Of course he wouldn't see the funny side, breakfast was important. His daily dose of porridge was a staple in his life, even in current times rocked by doubt and silently repressed emotional turmoil, at the least the oats were still regular.

A curt nod in affirmation, “Yes, for the oats. Thank you, Avalore.”

Being a more traditional variety of Jedi, Hal was a man without a single credit to his name. Of course the Order provided when it needed to for essentials or missions but that aside he was meant for a pious life without luxury.

Pots included.

So given his lack of ways with currency this wasn't exactly a situation where his guidance would be of any help. Even in the archives he had never considered an upgrade, remaining predictably content with what he was given to work with. Really his input just boiled down to a considerate consultation. Not that Terrano minded, he was simply glad that Avalore was here, still standing, still going.

“I would have to research potential upgrades for the archives,” he commented, icy blue eyes briefly flickering down to gaze at the console screen and then back up again, “however it seems like you have everything under control, Avalore.”

 

[Avalore Eden]

The barest trace of a frown tugged at Avalore's lips.

I suppose I should have expected as much from Hal.

A toothless smile pressed back, something within her not wanting Hal to register whatever fleeting second of disappointment had shown through. Hal wasn't a disappointment, it was simply that Avalore kept forgetting that the man was a born and raised Jedi. He'd never really had to work through things like this. Never had to worry about making rent or paying for his living costs. Though Jedi lived frugally, taking only what they needed, they also never dealt with what Avalore like to refer to as real-world-issues.

I keep forgetting that Jedi, when not breaking up war and keeping the peace, live in something of a dream world.

Not that their lives were perfect in any way, or that they didn't suffer in silence. Simply put, most things were taken care of for them. Little things, menial things, insignificant things in the grand scheme of all the other things.

Other people, like the Republic, do this for them because they do for other people what the other people cannot do for themselves.

The Healer took a long, slow, deep breath.

We're so different. I always forget about this.

"Ok, Hal," the smile pushed into her cheeks, warming again, "I know you're busy in here but if you could have something for me by tomorrow evening that'd be great. I'd like to make my proposal to the purse council in three days time - that's when I have my meeting scheduled."

Avalore clutched the holopad to her chest, glancing around with another slow breath before turning brown eyes back up to those frosty blues, "I'll leave you to it then...get back to my own planning. Would....would you like to go out for dinner tonight Hal? After we go pot-shopping?"

[member="Hal Terrano"]

 

[Hal Terrano]

In that pause in conversation he looked to her, those glacial blue eyes studying her features trying to fathom what thoughts were running through her mind. He saw the smile that the healer threw his way but nothing beyond that, the scope of being human was so often lost upon him.

What was she thinking?

Was she okay?

It had only been a few days, after all. Strength was not found in an instant but rather over time, upon meditation and reflection, at least that was what he believed. If [member="Avalore Eden"] needed to lean upon him then she would ask at the very least Hal Terrano understood that. He would not prod unless it was asked for him.

As such she wished to talk renovations, and he would his very best to entertain her, even if his very best was rather dreadful.

A single nod.

“Yes, I can do that.”

Extremely dreadful.

However the notion of dinner caught him by surprise, so much so that those usually stony features shifted, pale brows rising in mild astonishment. He quickly caught the expression, managing to reign it in and resume his usual moderate grimace.

“I would like that, Avalore,” came the eventually response, accompanied of course by another firm nod, “yes, let us do that.”