She didn't realize it at first, but she was holding her breath. And she had been since her brother reminded her of their father's power. How could she guarantee this secret remained safe? Since they'd last spoken over holo, Ishida hadn't connected with Inosuke like this. If he was right, and he was about to unfold a nightmare, how could she think she had the strength to lie? To conceal?
It was hubris.
Silence befell the little Ashina as he regaled the story. His expression, solemn as ever, was heavier than the narrative. She felt a chill, like a physical sensation, as if her blood had actually congealed. Ishida was fast coming distraught. It was terribly disturbing what Inosuke was saying, what he was
revealing, and the echoes of the past he lived with.
The idea that Genichiro and Inosuke could ever share the same space, let alone be close was nigh incomprehensible. She allowed herself, for a moment, to try and imagine it. A little owl-faced boy, and the stone-faced Ashina on the shoreline, practicing blade work with silhouettes that were comically opposite. The drive and the hero, a dynamic she knew well. Or, sought to know. By the time she'd come around, she'd upheld her part of the bargain and idolized him to an extent but his pride was hard to come by.
"I challenged his claims, his title, Invincible.
Ishida straightened in her seat, leaning back and squaring her shoulders to feel more solid across from the Jedi Knight on the other side of the table. The whole scene suddenly took on a vaguely dreamlike feel. The room felt bigger than it was, or else Ishida had shrunk.
She'd thought about it sometimes, once or twice, what it would take to do such a thing, but she never dared. Never questioned her father's honour. Inosuke had not only questioned it, but he'd also challenged it. He challenged the Invincible and had
won.
Air slipped out in a gasp, and the stare she'd had fixed on him transferred to the short sword in the space between them. The concept of her father bleeding was baffling. Her head throbbed, and the beat of her heart thundered behind her breastbone so loudly she nearly didn't hear the continuation of his story.
Beneath the table now, her hands in her lap felt numb. Her mind was burning, immense pressure building behind her eyes and when she looked up from the weapon between them back to his face. His eye moved unnaturally, displaying another clue to the truth with a series of numbers and technology. A fist clenched around her heart, softening the sound of the boom.
His eye.
Her own screwed shut involuntarily, closing out the sight. She could almost imagine it, her father choosing his target and acting without hesitation with a comment about how unseeing Inosuke really was. Lacking the vision necessary for what needed to be done.
All the colour drained from her already pallid expression.
Within the scabbard, the Ashina-made metal hummed. She could practically see its vibrations through the empty space between them. Its rhythms moved between empty spaces, touching and entrancing, vying for her to soothe it and listen to the story contained within its steel.
For the longest time, seconds stretching into minutes, she managed to ignore the blade's appeal. In silence, she watched her brother. Her expression was as untelling as she could manage, and met with an equally stoic façade. There were no lies in the lines of his face, in the wretchedness of his words. None that her observation could discern, anyhow.
But if she unsheathed that blade, let the story reach her blood, there could be no going back. At this juncture, she could deny the words of the Jedi Knight. Deny the blasphemy done to her father's name, his honour, his invincibility. She could deny its truth, relegate the honesty of the story to only the fable of a desperate exile.
Hesitation is defeat.
If she hesitated any longer, she would allow the doubt of a falsehood to fester and poison her soul. Its venom would spread and mutate her perception.
Eventually, her despair outstepped the patience of her soul.
Silently, her fingers moved to unsheath the wakizashi.
Although she felt it in her hands, the movements felt as though they belonged to someone else. The steel's song grew louder, the rhythm and the lure almost as tangible as the cool metal itself.
When she pressed the edge of the blade against the side of her palm and felt its sharp, stinging kiss, she looked to her brother to read whatever his reaction might be. As if there would be any vestige of triumph written in his eyes that he'd seeded the doubt necessary to unearth the dedication of the prized Ashina, the heir. The blade's edge broke skin.
As soon as Ashina blood touched the steel, the truth of the bloodline rushed to be shared. Ishida's mind began to race; overtaken by visions of the past. A history that had forged her future. The noodles in front of her, the table, they all melted away to dust and dirt. To a place she knew far better. A sparring arena within Ashina Estate. The perspective was imperfect, disoriented from the blade's perception.
The images came in fractured intervals, retelling the story as the blade saw it. Blood from the invincible, thumps of Inosuke to the floor, silent sneers, gasps from the crowd. It was deafening, blinding, all-consuming.
Ishida recoiled her hand, snapping it back to her and covering her face. The flesh of her palms consumed the horrified gasp that involuntarily slipped from her lungs. That horrified air took shape, denial sliding out in a low whisper:
"No."
Immobilized, she sunk into her seat, shoving the blade away from herself and back toward him as if it were contaminated with something that would mutate her on touch.
As if? It was. I
t was. It was contaminated with the truth of all her father's deceit.