Often [Anaya]

[Sarge Potteiger]

"I'd rather not, because as much as you'll laugh about it, I do like you. So just leave. You didn't come here to ask me to repay a debt, you came here to taunt me. Taunting me only gets you one place, you know that."

 

[Nisha Decrilla]

"Of course I came here to taunt you, you karking idiot. After the hell i've been through I think I'm entitled to taunt you. To tell you that you are a hypocrite, that you have forsaken your friends. I'm sure if I ask you if its worth it, you'll tell me a hundred times over, yes. It was worth it. It was worth all the pain that you put me through to get the girl you've been chasing for almost as long as I've known you."

She realised she was fighting back tears.

"The stupid thing, Sarge, is that I will never ask you to repay that debt. No matter how fethed up you are, no matter how many time you point a gun at me, I will remember what you have forgotten. We're friends."

 

[Sarge Potteiger]

A brow rose at [member="Anaya Fen"] in that moment, man folding his forearms on the countertop as he leaned forward. One hand shifted, arm retracted so he could pull another pistol from below the countertop. He could have shot her just then, could have shot her at any point in this conversation... but he didn't. It was loaded, but the safety was on. Didn't matter; he was making a point.

"At any point you could have died coming here. My men outside could have shot you, I could have shot you, the surveillance that no doubt has you pegged could have lead to you getting shot by any number of law enforcement bodies. You're a known quantity. Just as I'm a known quantity." Not entirely true depending on who you asked about him. "But you're alive."

There was a sigh, and he wet his lips. "But it wasn't worth it, Anaya. Information isn't usually that dangerous to acquire; even that kind. You aren't dead, but you likely wish you were. But the only freedom you lost is that which you've given up. You came here, yes? I doubt if you didn't have freedom you wouldn't be allowed here, especially knowing you stood a good chance of ceasing to exist."

Tired eyes shifted to look down as he exhaled. "But yeah, no. Wasn't worth it. I'd have found her myself if I'd have known what was coming, but I didn't, and I had other things to handle. You were in a better position of success than I, but I can't see the future." A hand clenched absently. "But I don't even know where she is, Anaya. She woke up, got scared and ran... it's all she's ever done."

This time, it was him fighting back the tears. "So close, Anaya. So close. Every time I reach the finish line it's moved back, taunting me every time. It's a marathon I can never complete, but I can't stop running for some reason. My heart, at some point, wound up chained to her, despite how unhealthy it is. Every day I wish she'd just come back here, knock on my door and just... let it be."

Frowning quietly, he closed his eyes. "But that's a pipe dream, Anaya. All those lives lost, all the friends alienated. None of it was worth it, and yet somehow I'd still do it again. Because it was the only outcome for me at the time, really. As I said... I can't see the future, and if I had, maybe I'd have just shot her on Alderaan instead of helping her revert. But the heart wants what it wants, Anaya, even if the brain doesn't agree."

"We're not friends anymore, Red. We haven't been for awhile. I'm just as liable to shoot you as I am to strip you down, but I can't back down from my convictions now. I've never let the standard I bear hit the ground and I can't start now. I can only pass it off to another carrier and hope they're more rational than I am." Opening his eyes and looking off to one side, he pushed himself away from the counter and went to refill his tea.

"I think this was the only way it could have ended though, Anaya. This galaxy has had so many blurred lines it's not even funny. People keep moving around like they're the only ones in charge, the only ones capable of affecting change. There's no working together anymore; it's just us vs them for everyone. There's so many lofty expectations and failed attempts at kinship that it's almost sickening.

Half the so called governments in the galaxy do the exact same thing as everyone else. Hell, even the Protectorate and the Republic are basically the same thing; we just don't rely as heavily on Force Users. We're the military industrial complex to their humanitarian mission and everyone keeps looking for reasons to stay at each others throats. Sith and Jedi will forever be enemies, and the war they have will never end. There will be brief periods of peace, but they won't last. The Sith are too power hungry to stay gone for long, and the Jedi are too stubborn to die.

It's a sad state of affairs, really. One I'm not proud to be taking part in." Closing the fridge and bringing the glass to his lips, he exhales again. "So tell Ashin I'm willing to work together if she wants. Most of the people I've called Sith in my time barely straddle the line; sure, once you start down the road there's no stopping, but redemption, in the end, should be the goal. Not death. Even if that's the only thing I'm capable of dealing in, really."

A knuckle tapped on the counter.

"I don't know, Anaya. I've never really known. I just do. It's how we wound up here. There's no thought, only action."

 

[Nisha Decrilla]

Anaya had moved round as he'd turned to refill his tea, she stood less than a foot from him now, looking very much like the lost and confused girl he used to know. She didn't understand it, didn't understand why he would put himself through so much pain for a woman who simply couldn't commit. He'd lay down his life a hundred times for her, die over and over again. Once, Anaya had wanted that, but she was like Cira in her own way. She ran. She ran or she drove a dagger so deep in their back that they could never love her again.

"I don't believe that." she said finally "I don't believe in redemption. I've watched a far greater woman than I, chase redemption across the galaxy and in the end it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter what good deeds you try to do, the past will always haunt you. No matter what people see you as, Jedi, Sith, it doesn't matter. I know what I've done, what I could do and what little care I would have. You can redeem yourself in the eyes of others, but never in your own."

She reached out and hand gingerly to touch his arm. "Say what you want, but you are the only friend I have. The only person that could call me and ask me to ride into hell with me saying 'how much'. The only person that I actually...was good with." She gave a sad smile her other hand reaching to touch his face. "I'm sorry for what she has done to you, but I am begging you. Don't not cast me aside like I am nothing." She stopped trying not to cry, she let the tears flow quietly.

"Like it was all for nothing."

[member="Sarge Potteiger"]

 

[Sarge Potteiger]

Sarge gave the woman a faint frown, hand clenching faintly as she touched his arm. Part of him knew she'd come with this admission sooner or later, and hell, another place another time they'd have been good together. But it didn't always work out that way; that much he knew. "I cast everyone aside, sooner or later. That much I've known to be true. But it wasn't all for nothing."

Lips quirking upward faintly at her, a thumb rose to remove some of the moisture from her cheeks in a not-so-gentle caress. "It wasn't all for nothing. Retrieving her brought me back to the land of the semi-normal. The blood doesn't pound in my ears like it did. I can see and think through things much clearer now. That's good in my book. Peace of mind is always worth it."

[member="Anaya Fen"]

 

[Nisha Decrilla]

Anaya shook her head. They did this to people around them. Cast others aside. She'd never driven a knife in his back, never done anything against him or those he held dear. No one else in the galaxy had such a privilege. Maybe she was tooting her own horn a bit, but it was privilege, because Anaya could be downright nasty when the mood took her. She felt sick, her chest hurt and she hated all of it.

How's that, Anaya Fen. A taste of your own medicine. She drew back, sharply hand a red blur as she slapped him as hard as she could. It was easier to get angry, easier to boil all emotion down to one simple thing she could use.

"You don't get to cast me aside, Sarge. That is not something you can do. It is not something we do to each other."

[member="Sarge Potteiger"]

 

[Sarge Potteiger]

Sarge blinks, and then in the manner so common to him... just hits the nail on the head.

"Are... are you trying to tell me you love me?"

 

[Nisha Decrilla]

Anaya made a noise somewhere between a sob and a laugh and couldn't find words to respond.

So she hit him again.

[member="Sarge Potteiger"]

 

[Sarge Potteiger]

Sarge's head had snapped around the first time, but the second time it finally registered he was being hit. "Is... is that a yes?" He asks, completely and utterly confused as a hand rose to cover the stinging red of his cheek.

 

[Nisha Decrilla]

"No!" she snapped finally.

"You karking idiot. Feth I really hate you sometimes." She pinched the bridge of her nose and sighed. "Yes, i suppose in a fethed up way, you could call it love, but...feth...i need another drink."

 

[Sarge Potteiger]

"I'm always right." He says, sounding like he'd rather not be. But he was right about being right. It's why she was always so frustrated with him, after all. Motioning to the whiskey bottle that was still on the counter, he winced a little at his cheek and leaned forward again. "Ain't no use hiding your feelings from me. I'm annoyingly perceptive."

 

[Nisha Decrilla]

"FOR KARK'S SAKE SARGE WOULD YOU JUST STOP!"

She snatched at the bottle fixing him with a hateful glare and refilled her glass. "Whatever illusions you have about what is happening right now, I can assure you they are so far off the mark you need to stop shooting in case you hit something you really don't want to. Once upon a time, we could have had this conversation and I would have very openly told you that, yes. I loved you. Once upon a fethed up time, when the rest of the world was content to see me beneath their boot. We had something." She took a large gulp.

"That was a long time ago. I'm under no illusions that that is never ever coming back. Hell, I've a man waiting for me back home." She paused, confused at the words that had just fallen out of her mouth. She shook it off "Sarge, I care about you. Point as many guns at me as you want, try and throw me aside, its not going to work. I am never gonna really hate you, no matter how much you want me to."

[member="Sarge Potteiger"]

 

[Sarge Potteiger]

"I have no illusions, but I did annoy you until you told me what I wanted to know." He gave her a smirk. "Either way, glad to hear you have someone now; either way, I don't want you to hate me. But it's certainly easier for me to deal with hate than it is to deal with anger and annoyance and being, well, wrong." There was a shrug of his shoulders.

"But I don't normally stop, really. I just go until I get what I want or the other persons dead."

[member="Anaya Fen"]

 

[Nisha Decrilla]

Anaya took another large gulp. "I feel like I've just been thrown under a tank, picked up and dusted off like it never happened."

She leaned against the counter, arms folded slowly swirling the remains of her drink round in her glass.

"Please stop pointing guns at me."

 

[Sarge Potteiger]

"I'm not pointing a gun at you right now." He says, looking around. "Haven't since you walked in." He shrugged, patting the gun that was set on its side on the counter. Wasn't holding it. He'd just put it there to make a point; he stashed it back under the counter again though, to ease her up.

"Isn't that how you normally feel?"

[member="Anaya Fen"]

 

[Nisha Decrilla]

"Oddly enough, since you took up this whole 'Sith are cancer and they must be destroyed stance' I'm just a slightly bit more nervous when you start waving guns in my face. I can't possibly imagine why. Might have something to do with the fact that," she lifted her top to reveal a battle scared stomach, point to two of them "You gave me these."

She dropped the top. "You also shot at Ashin. There's something I never thought I would witness but it happened. You carved a pretty line in the snow with your walker." she smiled slightly "So no, this is not how I normally feel."

 

[Sarge Potteiger]

"That would have likely happened regardless, Sith hatred or otherwise. While I was a Sergeant I wasn't too concerned about territory or governments or anything of the like, but once I got up there I had to start caring. That meant not allowing someone to just walk into my territory unannounced and with at least one known Sith in tow. She'd have been fine if she'd given me some warning, but sneaking around isn't something I'll willingly allow."

Yay hypocrisy, although to be fair he usually wasn't sneaking through other people's territories to solve problems for them. He was usually sneaking through to harass people he liked talking to. "Someone's gotta shoot at Ashin sooner or later, though. Just like people will do the same to me, sooner or later."

 

[Nisha Decrilla]

"I'll be sure to give you a heads up next time I'm sneaking around under your nose."

That was a lie. If Anaya was sneaking anywhere it was not with this face, and it was never going to be with good intentions, so Sarge would be the last person in the galaxy she would tell.

"So, what now? What does the Lord Protector intend to do with his new found power?"

 

[Sarge Potteiger]

"Figure out how a government job works and then go from there." He says, meaning it. He'd never been a politician so he was going to have to learn before starting anything.

 

[Nisha Decrilla]

"There are people who've been in a government seat longer than you and still don't know how it works. You're chasing a lost cause there."