Our Darkest Days [Ovmar]

[Nisha Decrilla]

Anaya had no control, not anymore. Even the voice in her head had no taunt to offer as she woke. Her eyes fell on his sleeping form, his chin resting on his chest, snoring slightly. She drew in a deep shuddering breath as the emotions from the night before came rushing back to her. Sliding from between the sheets she padded silently away from him, glancing over her shoulder as she fled down the corridors, bare feet slapping along the floor.

She could smell the dead before she reached her ship, she could feel the lingering fear and pain in the force. She stepped lightly between their bodies, the floor still sticky with blood.

You shouldn't have lied, shouldn't have pushed him. All for a reaction. Silly girl and now look, look at what you've done, look at what you made him do.​

"Only pushed him because he gave me nothing, I pushed him because you pushed me. I pushed because..."

Because what? Because Anaya Fen demanded to be noticed by someone.​

"I am noticed by everyone you stupid little queen, being noticed isn't the same as...as..."

As what? Being loved? Do you remember when you 'loved' Kaine.​

"This is different."

No fething shid. This is madness, this is servitude, this is Oman all over again.​

This is Ashin, Shorn, Spencer all over again. T​

his is the same mistake. ​

All. ​

Over. ​

Again.​

"Don't you speak her name! Don't you dare! She...I...there was never love there you uneducated wench, there was only jealousy."

You wanted what she had.​

"I wanted to be loved. I just didn't understand how to be"

And now you are, but at what cost?​

She was on the bridge now. Trembling from head to toe. Shed made a vow to all of them, every person that came into her employment would be free from harm from all but her. She would protect them, look after them, so long as they did their duty.

We underestimated him.​

"Yes...we did."

A hundred people.​

"A hundred of our people."


She knelt beside the Captain, rolling him over and tugging a knife from his belt. She drew it over the palm of her hand and moved to the transparisteel screen. Dipping a finger into the blood on her hand she began to write.

Captian Jon Denning, Communication Officer Lucy Kemp, Navigator Charles Face....

"They bled, so I must bleed. In blood we will remember their names. In blood we will remember the price of love and servitude." she muttered as she listed all their names, all one hundred of them and their titles.

 

[Arage Bao]

[member="Anaya Fen"]

When I had finally managed to reach her, she had written the entire board full of names… as my hand touched her bare back the last name was just finished and I asked her.

‘My love, what are you doing here?’

<< Remembering those who have fallen.>>
<< I don’t remember asking you anything.>>

She would need medical attention… lot’s of it, her mind was still fragile and would continue to be so for long time to come, I would have to be gentle with her… careful and patient.

Like you were before, Ovmar? Who the feth are you kidding, stop trying to be what you ain’t. You are a Sith Lord, a guy who just massacred hundreds of people just because she dared to decide about the life of your child.

Being a Sith Lord means pursuing your goals without restraint, my goal now is to take care of her and that’s it. So shut your trap and let me fix this mess I created, I ain’t Fen. I don’t talk to myself and with that I closed off that portion of my mind. It’s good to be a Mentalist sometimes.

 

[Nisha Decrilla]

"A picture paints a thousand words, but I'm making a picture with words. Names, faces, memories." She drew in a sharp breath and stepped back studying her work. Her eyes shifted to the palm of her hand. She ran her tongue over her wound, the copper taste sending shivers down her spine.

Her lekku quivered and she turned her head slightly so she could see him out of the corner of her eye.

"You didn't clean up your mess." she said softly "I found it, I felt it. They were mine and I have to remember them." she hugged herself "Have to remember the price."

[member="Jared Ovmar"]

 

[Arage Bao]

[member="Anaya Fen"]

The apparition of Jared Ovmar put his hands around her, but as it leaned into the embrace it vanished as if it hadn’t been there to begin with. Instead there were only words, soft words, echoing through her mind: <<. When you are done remembering… come to me .>>

A pull would be there, at the edge of her vision guiding her back to where it all had relatively started. The balcony and the first time they had talked while both being Sith.

Much had changed since then and yet… much had stayed the same.

 

[Nisha Decrilla]

She shivered as he left her, his apparition shimmering out of existence. Still hugging herself she did nothing to stem the flow of silent tears, and for once, her mind graced her with some silence to grieve. She closed her eyes and remembered the words she had spent years living by, words spoken by a woman Anaya both loved and hated.

To be a sith, is to be exactly what you want to be, do exactly what you want to do, and overcome every obstacle in your path...​

She'd flitted from place to place, from want to want never truly knowing what she wanted to be. Now? Now she was a sith in love, a sith bound by her love and her lies. What did she want? Freedom? what was freedom without someone to share it with.

So we stay with him?​

For a moment Anaya said nothing, she drew in a shuddering breath and opened her eyes. "Yes, we stay."

This is madness​

"Then it is well suited for me, because I am mad, and I am talking...to a reflection." It stood there, the image of herself, covered by the names of those who'd died. "What?" she said tilting her head with a smirk "No snarky reply."

The reflection smirked back.

Let us go to him. Then I might have things to say.​

Anaya turned her back on herself, on her wall of names. "Yes, you always chose your moments beautifully." She mused as she walked away in search of her love.

She found him on the balcony, her hand throbbing painfully by the time she reached him. She'd been so occupied with other pains that she had not noticed it before. She didn't approach him completely. A touch of fear kept her at bay. Standing a few steps from him her hands twisted nervously.

"My love?" she said softly.

[member="Jared Ovmar"]

 

[Arage Bao]

[member="Anaya Fen"]

My hands gripped the edge of the balcony, trying to keep calm once again as her frame stood behind me. I wasn’t sure what I wanted to say to her - at least not before the words came out of me, before I was even able to think about them.

‘ The truth, Anaya. Did you do it? ‘

A lot of things would hinge upon this answer of hers, wasn’t even sure what sort of things but I knew that it all depended on this and I hoped that Kat had been right. Even though that would bring all kinds of other problems to our world.

All or nothing, Ovmar. The dice has been cast.

 

[Nisha Decrilla]

"No." she replied softly, taking a brave step forward.

"There never was a child."

[member="Jared Ovmar"]

 

[Arage Bao]

[member="Anaya Fen"]

I sighed softly, the air breathing out was as much a relief as a reminder of that everything that I had done was done in rage misplaced. Simply trying to rile me up - get a reply out of me… a reaction to see if I truly loved her.

‘Do you understand why I never showed a reaction before? Why I never let my emotions run free?’

 

[Nisha Decrilla]

"Because you have double standards." she replied venomously and clapped a hand over her mouth a shiver of fear ran through her and she giggled behind it. Her fingers clasped together and she brought her hands to rest beneath her chin. "Jared Ovmar, wants to see all, but he wants no one to see. You pushed for the casket to be opened, you pushed so you could get in, but you never pulled the cork yourself. Never let me in in return."

She took another step forward. "Because you are afraid." she hissed at him, a manic smile on her face.

Are you trying to get yourself killed?​

"He asked for truth, so he gets the truth. Can't hurt us for that." she shook her head.

[member="Jared Ovmar"]

 

[Arage Bao]

[member="Anaya Fen"]

The Sith Lord yawned in return to her provocation - it seemed that for the time being he was back in control of his own facilities, though ‘seemed’ should be stressed with such an assessment. He began to reply to her with a deadpan intonation, but the more he talked… the more of a lingering sense you would get that there was a shackled animal behind the words.

‘ Words are just that. Words. Can you eat them when you are hungry? Do they warm you when you are alone and cold at night? Do they shield you when you scream for help during times of fright or aggression? Words are wind and in the end they mean nothing. ‘

Ovmar turned around and regarded his woman, continuing his talk with her. ‘ Deeds are what our world is founded upon and I have showed you everything you needed to know. Have I not been there when you needed me most? When odds were against you and you asked for my help, did I not come to your aid? You might think that I did it simply because you were useful to me and you would be wrong. I have operatives all over the Galaxy, varying usefulness and yet… if they fail me - I won’t come over to help them, because I am not their babysitter.’

His hand caressed her cheek as he finished.

‘ I protect you and help you, because I care and love you. I would have left you to your own devices a long time ago if this was not the case. ‘

 

[Nisha Decrilla]

"No, my love." she said her hand taking his, "Words mean more than that. Words can give a soldier a reason to fight, even when he has nothing left to fight for. Words can quiet a persons fears. Words can twist and bend someones mind to your own will. Words can make an action have a different meaning." She let his hand go and moved past him.

"Actions, are meaningless. I judge others by myself. You should remember that."

Woe betide me.​

"Woe betide all. Deeds shape the worlds, but words direct those who stand upon them. What you see and what you hear are different things." She sank to the floor, tugging the knife from her boot again, tracing it along the dark lines on her arms. "Count the scars. Count the actions. Count the dead. Count the lies. Count the truths. The truths are few and far between, but it is the truth that matters."

[member="Jared Ovmar"]

 

[Arage Bao]

[member="Anaya Fen"]

The Sith Lord had heard too many lies in his day, and spoken many of them himself to believe in such fancy thoughts as she spoke herself - it was because of his own experience in manipulating and lying to people that his resolve had been so strong to keep that from poisoning their already quite messed up relationship. But it seemed that his efforts had been in vain and even more; had ruined the small, semblance of peace that they had known.

Yet for some reason Jared Ovmar couldn’t exactly feel surprised by such turns in events, a man of his stature, a man living the life he lived every day… he never expected anything different than the worst. So when it came he hadn’t been disappointed, shocked or surprised, he had only been wondering why it had taken so long to arrive as it had.

‘ Your words have merit. I shall see to it that you won’t have to guess at my thoughts and actions anymore. ’ he said with just the hint of a smile peeking at his left-most corner of his mouth, say one thing about Jared, say he knows when to admit that perhaps he wasn’t entirely correct in his earlier assessment.

He walked over to her and brushed her shoulder, bringing his lips to her ear and whispered. ‘ Let’s go back to bed, I think we need to reacquaint ourselves further.’

 

[Nisha Decrilla]

Anaya could not deny the shiver of pleasure that came at his touch. The blade paused and her lekku twitched a smirk forming on her lips.

"The bed is so cliche Mister Ovmar."

She turned her head so her lips brushed his. The blade slipped from her fingers to clatter to the floor as she wrapped her arms about his neck seeking to draw him closer, desperate to feel the warmth of his skin against her. Every cell in her body yearned for this, vibrated with anticipation and she pressed against him, lips locking with his in a fierce and demanding kiss.

[member="Jared Ovmar"]