Private Out in the stars

[Jenn Kryze]

​

LOCATION: The Red Night
Objective: Give that lovable idiot some solid advice.
Equipment: Beskar'gam I Blaster Pistol I Blaster Carbine I Deflector Shield
Tags: [ Gatz Derrevar ]

The unlikely guest did not waste much time before she began making her way back over to the counter, all too happy to focus on the dishes rather than Gatz. The buy'ce was a great help, to be sure, but hardly a solution to all of her problems. One could still try to read her from the way her head shifted this way and that, or, most infuriatingly of all, through some use of the Force she scarcely understood. Some seemed to be capable of sensing the emotions of those around her, a concept she found infuriating.

"Don't worry, I'll come and give you a poke if I need anything", assured the Mandalorian with a thumbs up. "I might take a nap as well after I am done here. Nothing like lazing about after a nice meal." And that... was not just a way to drown any suspicion he might have before it could truly form. Normalcy was a difficult thing for her to grasp at times, and she enjoyed the chance to share a meal with someone she might just consider a friend - or, at the very least, an ally. The pilot had saved her life, prepared a meal for the two of them, and shown enough trust to talk about... a little of his past. Enough for her to understand he was a tormented soul in need of guidance.

Her host's comment about an astromech claimed a laugh out of her, however - not quite one of her chuckles, something genuinely... more. "Now now, Gatz, you know what they say- droids take after their owners!"

 

[Gatz Derrevar]

Ship: The Red Night
Weapons: Blaster Pistol
Tag: Jenn Kryze

"Then my uncle must have been real stupid, because R4 was his first!"

Her laugh was musical, and it tugged at something in the back of his mind, but it wasn't enough to entrance him again. Not that Gatz even knew that he'd been entranced in the first place. He was still under the impression that his brief lapse in short term memory was due to a lack of sleep. It wouldn't have been the first time he was loopy enough to lose time.

The door to his cabin opened, and shut behind him. Gatz practically stumbled to his bed, kicking off his shoes, and shucking his jacket. It was a little warm on the ship, so his shirt went next. He stopped for a second, footsteps pausing as he got a look at himself in the full mirror next to his closet. A quick inspection of his chest, covered in angry red scars—fresh scars, the oldest of which only dated back to half a year ago, from blaster wounds and vibroknives.

He sighed, feeling something like disgust ooze into his chest. Then, he turned away from the mirror, and flopped into bed face first.

Scars came with territory. He was no longer some smuggler who ducked to avoid trouble, or ran away from a fight. He was a man playing at being a Jedi, running head first into other people's problems. And, as woefully underprepared as he was, that had consequences.

But he could moan and dwell on no longer being a 'pretty boy' later. For now, he let sleep take over, and hoped for once that his rest wouldn't be fitful.

 

[Jenn Kryze]

​

LOCATION: The Red Night
Objective: Rest up
Equipment: Beskar'gam I Blaster Pistol I Blaster Carbine I Deflector Shield
Tags: [ Gatz Derrevar ]

The idea of the poor astromech being passed down to Gatz from his uncle was... certainly amusing. Poor little thing, beeping along to whatever nonsense that pretty blonde thought up as a jest. It was genuine, that much she could guess, but- perhaps he chose to be a likeable, wisecracking little chit to distract himself from his doubt and fears.

Jenn understood doubt, and she understood fear - now more than ever, as war threatened to spill completely out of control and her people found themselves split between diehard Crusaders and the reluctant old guard. And, more than most, she understood where those emotions could lead... she had felt the alluring touch of the Dark Side, the siren's song of her desires promising all she could think of and more besides... on Dromund Kaas, the Mandalorian truly understood just how many people fell from the Light and became Sith.

And Gatz? Gatz held a presence in the Force. Then again, so did she, but she was yet to truly understand such a thing. If he persisted on this self-destructive path... it would only be a matter of time before someone used him. Something she would not allow to come to pass.

As soon as she was done with the dishes, the Ersansyr walked on back to the couch, letting out a weary sigh as she all but collapsed onto it.

 

[Gatz Derrevar]

Ship: The Red Night
Weapons: Blaster Pistol
Tag: Jenn Kryze

Gatz woke to the quiet chime of the alarm he set.

He slapped the thing immediately, silencing it before it could ring even a second time. He hadn't so much slept as he had dozed, fitfully passing in and out of consciousness. In a way, that was better. When he really slept was when the night terrors hit: the haunting memories of the past come to bother him in the present. And they didn't make for good rest.

Ironically, he got more rest when he didn't get proper sleep, than when he did.

Gatz rolled out of bed, and snagged his shirt, tugging it over his torso. He hadn't... let anyone see him without a shirt since he'd started collecting scars. And while he doubted a Mandalorian of all people would judge him for the marring on his body, that didn't make him feel any more comfortable with sharing it. Some things were easier to simply keep to himself.

Gatz strode out of his bedroom, after a quick comb of his hair, and made a beeline for the lounge once more. He'd been after a glass of water, but frowned when he saw that Jenn had just crashed on the couch, without so much as a blanket. There was a whole passenger cabin left, devoid of anyone in it, and she'd picked the couch? It wasn't even a particularly comfortable one.

Then again, she probably had plenty of experience roughing it. Not to mention sleeping in her armor.

Not wanting to disturb her sleep, Gatz opened the fridge as quietly as he could.

 

[Jenn Kryze]

​

LOCATION: The Red Night
Objective: zzzZZ
Equipment: Beskar'gam I Blaster Pistol I Blaster Carbine I Deflector Shield
Tags: [ Gatz Derrevar ]

Sleeping in her beskar'gam was... not quite the unlikely occurrence she wished it was. Snuggling up in bed with Sam was a wonderful thing, to be sure - or sleeping in a lovely lagoon or bay on a sparsely populated ocean world. But those chances to enjoy a good night's sleep in peace were few and far between, especially with the shadow of the war looming over her. Sleepless nights in the workshop designing weapon schematics and reforging the beskar'gam of the fallen into new suits of armor to carry the next generation of her people into battle meant little sleep, and few opportunities for her to relax, to live normally...

When Gatz entered the room, Jenn remained fast asleep, her chest rising and falling steadily as she slumbered deeply. The bed would doubtlessly have been more comfortable, but the exhausted Ersansyr's eyes rested on the couch first, and she found its alluring call impossible to resist. She wanted to sleep now, and so she did! Even as he opened the fridge, she merely turned over in her sleep, hugging wrapped around herself. Evidently, she was used to embracing something something or someone if she could help it to enjoy a more peaceful rest.

It was only a matter of time before her eyes fluttered open, however, a whimper escaping her as she returned to consciousness. "Just five more minutes..." grumbled the Mandalorian as she began to stir.

 

[Gatz Derrevar]

Ship: The Red Night
Weapons: Blaster Pistol
Tag: Jenn Kryze

The sight of Jenn on the couch almost made him chuckle. Even big bad Mandalorian warriors liked to cuddle something, it seemed. Gatz had to imagine that the person she usually embraced like that was probably the safest individual in the galaxy. Unless she hugged, like, a teddy bear or something in her sleep. Then he supposed it was the safest stuffed animal in the galaxy.

It was sometimes hard to remember, when their visages were hidden behind their helmets, but Mandalorians were every bit as human as he was. Well, not necessarily human, but they were people too. Not just warriors built and bred for war. He wondered if their war leaders had considered that, before throwing their lives away against the Jedi.

Then came the little whimper, and Gatz couldn't help but snort.

"You can have five more minutes, but only if you ask real nicely."

Not actually expecting a response, and figuring that Jenn wasn't really awake, Gatz took his bottle of water and began to step out of the lounge. They still had a little under an hour before they dropped from hyperspace. He could give the wounded woman some more rest.

 

[Jenn Kryze]

​

LOCATION: The Red Night
Objective: zzzZZ- wha?!
Equipment: Beskar'gam I Blaster Pistol I Blaster Carbine I Deflector Shield
Tags: [ Gatz Derrevar ]

Throughout the ages, the unmistakable T (or sometimes Y, in the case of Jenn) shape of a buy'ce's visor served as a simple reminder of who the Mandalorians were as a people. Fierce hunters, peerless warriors, legendary figures of myth hidden away behind hallowed armor, peerless in the ways of war and raised from an early age to wield a vast array of weapons. And the recognizable sight of those helmets made it all too easy to dehumanize them, to see them as something else than a people. Then again, they did always lean into that aspect, taking it as a significant part of their culture... to be feared and respected by one's foes brings power to a warrior, after all. Clad in beskar as she was and hidden away behind her helmet, one would be forgiven for thinking of Jenn Kryze as such a figure of myth. A woman forged in the heat of battle and tempered by the anvil of war.

And yet, here she was, sleeping peacefully, reflexively trying to hug someone or something into her arms. Longing for affection still, no matter how subconsciously. Rolling over again, the fiery-haired warrior rolled her head around this way and that, grumbling an unintelligible response to her kindly host - clearly only half-conscious still. It would take her a few minutes to emerge from the couch: evidently, the Mandalorian was not quite the image of grace when waking up from a nap. Not to mention the dreadful case of helmet hair she was most likely sporting under there!

Five minutes later, she joined Gatz on the bridge, buy'ce held under her arm as she drank most greedily from a bottle of water, finishing it all in one go. "I have come to a decision", spoke the siren as she clapped her hand on his shoulder, a confident smile pulling at her lips, and a slight nod following it. "We are friends now. Talk yourself down at your own peril. Land yourself in peril at your own- well, you get the idea."

Right, yes. Not terrifying. Nailed it.

 

[Gatz Derrevar]

Ship: The Red Night
Weapons: Blaster Pistol
Tag: Jenn Kryze

The friendly clap on his shoulder had been unexpected enough. But the declaration that they were friends now threw him for a loop. Is that what he did now? Made friends with Jedi and Mandalorian alike? Gatz didn't particularly think that he was a likeable guy. He made bad jokes, bad decisions, and was a perpetual downer. Why didn't anyone realize that they were better off without him?

Still, he was a selfish man. If Jenn said they were friends, then he'd add her to his very short list of friends.

"Well, if you're that set on making bad decisions, then sure." Gatz snorted.

He didn't have it in him to argue. Gatz was tired—the kind of fatigue a man felt after the galaxy had beaten him down for months on end. It was a wonder he even rolled out of bed some days. He kept hoping that things would get better eventually, and they just kept... staying the same. So if this was the galaxy's way of throwing him a bone, then he'd take it without complaint.

"You know, you try to snuggle things in your sleep," Gatz smirked at the big, bad, Mandalorian warrior, "if you need a cuddle buddy that badly, you should just ask. We still have a whole hour left."

 

[Jenn Kryze]

​

LOCATION: The Red Night
Objective: Banter up a new friend
Equipment: Beskar'gam I Blaster Pistol I Blaster Carbine I Deflector Shield
Tags: [ Gatz Derrevar ]

Gatz' little comment about bad decisions was quickly followed by the ever-worrying sight (and sound!) of a Mandalorian cracking their knuckles, then doing the same with their neck. "This count as talking yourself down." A jest, or a serious warning? Always difficult to tell with Mandalorians. It seemed that even in friendship, the staunch warriors were something of a difficult people to understand in terms of humor. But hey, at least she tried to match his own jests earlier, so perhaps there was a funny bone in her body!

And then, he mentioned that little detail about her sleeping habits, and Jenn's face turned a lovely shade of red once more. "I do not!" came her first reaction, looking as if she might just throw the bottle at his head, or the buy'ce, or really just whack him with the back of her hand (and given the presence of Beskar, he would have quite the headache). And yet, this was... very clearly not the righteous rage of a warrior with their honor put into question, but the protests of someone with an embarrassing truth about them revealed. "I just sleep better when I'm embracing... a pillow. Yes. That. One of those large, person-sized pillows."

 

[Gatz Derrevar]

Ship: The Red Night
Weapons: Blaster Pistol
Tag: Jenn Kryze

The cracking of knuckles didn't scare Gatz nearly as much as maybe it should have. But then, he'd taken plenty of beatings during his time in Hutt space, so being pummeled was like an old hobby. That being said, her fists were decked in Beskar, so maybe he should be a little more cautious about prodding her. He was abnormally durable, but he didn't think he was that durable.

"So that's a 'no' to cuddling then?" Gatz didn't let his smile fall, even as Jenn threatened to rain violence down upon him, "that's a shame. We have the time. My bed is the most comfortable on the ship too."

Jenn was a gorgeous shade of red, but Gatz didn't feel like pressing his luck, so he averted his eyes.

He turned back to the cockpit window then, kicking his feet up on the console, and watching the blue streaks of hyperspace pass him by. It was such a calming thing, to bathe in starlight. Few things brought Gatz peace, especially these days, but hyperspace did the trick. Contentment washed through him, a rare thing, but very welcome.

It would almost be a shame, for their journey to come to an end. Then he'd have to return to the galaxy, on his own, and the galaxy had a habit of kicking him in the teeth when he least expected it. But oh well. That was life.

 

[Jenn Kryze]

​

LOCATION: The Red Night
Objective: Banter up a new friend
Equipment: Beskar'gam I Blaster Pistol I Blaster Carbine I Deflector Shield
Tags: [ Gatz Derrevar ]

"That is, in fact, a no to cuddling, Gatz."

And, for nothing but kicks, she brought out her gauntlet-mounted vibroblade with a distinctive SHUK! , clearly pleased with the act itself. Evidently, the Mandalorian was quite proud of her array of deadly tools! Or merely appreciative of the sound made by the blade whenever it was revealed to the world. The sound it made as it returned inside the gauntlet was far more muted, thankfully enough, and the worrying display was over and done with as the fiery-haired warrior turned to look at the streaks of hyperspace passing them by, her hand resting on his shoulder once more as she did so.

Jenn was... very much absorbed by the sight, in truth. Perhaps Gatz found peace and tranquility in hyperspace, much like how she felt at ease within the embrace of a vast ocean or a tranquil sea. "It's beautiful, isn't it?" asked the Ersansyr softly, afraid she might shatter the moment otherwise. But... enchanting as the sight may be to some, she was left with no choice but to turn her head to look his way, suddenly thoughtful. No matter how satisfied he looked.

"What will you do after dropping me off, Gatz?"

There was... a delicate touch of concern behind her words.

 

[Gatz Derrevar]

Ship: The Red Night
Weapons: Blaster Pistol
Tag: Jenn Kryze

"It's funny that you think the knife deters me. It just means that I'd be safe in your arms!"

Jenn thought being capable of kicking his ass was a turn off? No! That was even better! Gatz loved women who could kick his ass! They could actually keep him in line, and stop him from doing stupid stuff like starving himself, and throwing himself headfirst into danger at every possible moment. Honestly, he was surprised that he managed to get himself hurt as often as he did, with people like that in his life.

A gentle hand was laid on his shoulder—far more gentle than he would have thought a Mandalorian capable of, before today. It was a nice little moment of physical reassurance; a reminder that, no, he wasn't alone in this galaxy just yet. His family might be gone, but there were others who cared for him, even if it was just a little.

"Yeah. It really is beautiful."

But his lifelong fascination with hyperspace was interrupted by her next question: what was he going to do next? It wasn't a question that Gatz liked to think about too often. He never knew if he had a tomorrow, or not, not with a million credit bounty still on his head. And even if he wasn't being pursued, he often wound up jumping into danger anyways, on account of his guilty conscience.

"I don't know, probably hit up some cantina for a lonely widow who wants to tumble under the bedsheets," Gatz shrugged, opting for levity with a smile on his face, "since the big, strong Mandalorian next to me refuses to admit that she likes to snuggle."

 

[Jenn Kryze]

​

LOCATION: The Red Night
Objective: Banter up a new friend
Equipment: Beskar'gam I Blaster Pistol I Blaster Carbine I Deflector Shield
Tags: [ Gatz Derrevar ]

"You're weird, Gatz. Ladies pulling knives on you aren't fended off with jokes, you know."

And yet, even as she spoke, she found herself ruffling his hair, wondering just what kind of hardass in need of a jokester in her life she would just throw at him. Flirting did make her feel pretty, but she had Sam to think about... but there was no sense in seeing a pretty face and a kind heart like his go and find himself alone in the stars. The question being, of course, how to make sure he'd break the ice without getting stabbed. Such musings were interrupted, however, when he went for levity instead of a serious answer, prompting her to merely give him a glare.

"First of all, a widow is awfully specific, and now I think you've done this before. Second of all, Gatz, I'm dating someone, no offense to that winning smile of yours. And third of all... please, be honest with me. And serious."

There was worry in her eyes. For all of his... shit-eating grins and bad jokes, that young man had saved her life, agreed to take her back home, and shown care and concern for someone who was, at the end of the day, a complete stranger to him. It felt only right f or her to be invested in his well-being in return, to try and let him understand that he was not alone - not unless he chose to be.

"You've a kind heart. Please accept the help given to you. You don't... need to drift."

 

[Gatz Derrevar]

Ship: The Red Night
Weapons: Blaster Pistol
Tag: Jenn Kryze

As fun as the flirting was, the chances of Gatz ever seeing Jenn again were slim, so maybe he should cool his guns. Not because she was dating someone—ha! When had that ever stopped him? But getting attached to someone who would leave his life the second she stepped off his ship... well, that wasn't a very healthy thing, was it? And everyone left his life eventually.

Jenn's question had him thinking on that. He was quiet for a few moments.

"There's nothing out there for me, Jenn," Gatz said quietly, "everyone who has ever loved me is dead. No one will shed a tear for me when I'm gone, not even Valery Noble . Drifting is all that's left to me."

Gatz sighed as he threw the hyperspace lever, and they throttled down with a shudder. The Red Night hit open space with a whine, and Jenn's destination was just an orb in the distance, dimly lit by the system's sun.

"So I'll help as many people as I can, until the day comes that my sins catch up with me. And that day is approaching—there's nothing I can do about that. But I can put a little good back into the galaxy before it arrives."

 

[Jenn Kryze]

​

LOCATION: The Red Night, Approaching Hefi
Objective: Try and be a wordsmith.
Equipment: Beskar'gam I Blaster Pistol I Blaster Carbine I Deflector Shield
Tags: [ Gatz Derrevar ]

"There's something out there for all of us", protested the Mandalorian immediately. As ever, she spoke from the heart, hoping truth would carry her past the layers of self-deprecation he seemed to wear like a cloak, or armor. "And... I think you're wrong about Valery. She cares about me, and one of us will kill the other some day soon. You really think she won't be distraught, if she ever hears you died? Do you think I won't be saddened to hear it?" Jenn's words hung in the air, lingering around them as they came out of hyperspace, the Mandalorian looking over to Hefi before them.

Soon, she would return to her Forge, toiling away in a desperate effort to prepare her people for the inevitable attack on Mandalorian soil. Weapon systems, armor - all of her efforts could only do so much, and she knew her time might soon come. The Kayatr'ade was weary, but unbowed, and it showed when she turned her gaze back to Gatz's own. Could she let him head back into the unknown with such hopelessness?

No. No, she could not, and she would not.

"You are who you choose to be, Gatz. You are choosing to do good, but you are also choosing to be alone. You're a good man, and I wish you would see that."

And with that, she gave his shoulder a little clap, her smile turning... a little sad, walking on out of the cockpit. They would be arriving soon, and she had to see to Tardek.

 

[Gatz Derrevar]

Ship: The Red Night
Weapons: Blaster Pistol
Tag: Jenn Kryze

Jenn's words stuck with Gatz, as he brought them in for a landing. He didn't really expect her or Valery to shed any tears when he died. Maybe they'd have a small moment of mourning, but no more. His attachments to them—especially Valery—was certainly stronger than their attachments to him. If he could even call them that. Because at the end of the day, he was just one more smuggler in a galaxy full of them.

Still, he wasn't so encompassed by drowning in his own pain that he couldn't see Jenn's point. He didn't agree with it, but he understood it: the galaxy was far too big to just write it off because he'd experienced personal tragedy. But Gatz just had... no desire to engage with it anymore. His family was dead. He'd be joining them soon. And even if he wasn't a wanted man, there was no more family out there for him, no matter how desperately he wanted for one.

Even with Valery and her family he was nothing more than an outsider. And if he was an outsider even among his closest friend...

Gatz sighed as he finally brought them in for a landing. Maybe he was choosing to be alone. But maybe that was because he knew that he couldn't belong anywhere, or with anyone. He didn't know anymore. Jenn's words were confusing him, and making him think, which was probably exactly what she wanted them to do.

"We just touched down," Gatz spoke over the ship wide intercom, and then realizing he sounded glum, added, "we thank you for choosing Derrevar Starlines for your adventures into the greater galaxy."

But his heart just wasn't in it.

 

[Jenn Kryze]

​

LOCATION: The Red Night, Hefi
Objective: Prepare to disembark.
Equipment: Beskar'gam I Blaster Pistol I Blaster Carbine I Deflector Shield
Tags: [ Gatz Derrevar ]

With Tardek resting over her shoulder, Jenn certainly cut... quite the figure. Bloodied, to be sure, but in the end, victorious. Returning with a Dar'manda dead and gone like that would earn her some measure of respect, if not confusion as to why she would bother to return his corpse. That she was so sentimental as to try and give him a proper sendoff, complete with a pyre... it would earn more than confusion. Not that the smith cared, really. Whenever the choice was presented to her, Jenn always walked her own path. Nobody else's.

That Y-shaped visor turned towards the nearest speaker linked to the intercom- if there was any. Oh, she certainly did not care for how Gatz sounded, but then again... Jenn could only do so much for him, short of knocking him out and taking him to Hefi with her. And his path was his own to walk.

"No matter how little choice I had in my pick of a ride home, you prove more than adequate", answered the Mandalorian, hoping he could hear her from the cargo hold she was waiting in. There was... an awkward pause, the fiery-haired warrior clearly mulling over her words. What to say to someone so despondent, so lost in darkness? Socially awkward as she was, the fierce warrior knew she had to try and help him, just as this unlikely rescuer had saved her from a rather inglorious fate. Not out of duty, or responsibility, but merely to see another kind soul brought to the Light. Inhaling deeply through her gills, she cleared her throat, and delivered what little wisdom someone like her could impart upon another.

"Fight, and keep fighting, Gatz Derrevar. Life is the struggle, but love and joy are worth fighting and struggling for."

 

[Gatz Derrevar]

Ship: The Red Night
Weapons: Blaster Pistol
Tag: Jenn Kryze

"Eh, I do my best."

Jenn's words filtered through the intercom, and Gatz leaned back in his chair to contemplate them. Living hurt. Painlessness was for the dead. Love and joy though... maybe they were worth the struggle, but what was a man to do when he lost them both? The last of his family was dead: murdered. And joy? Gatz hadn't felt true joy since that week on New Cov, reestablishing his connection to the Force.

But it was something.

Maybe love was lost to him. Gatz felt as though it was, and he didn't think he could fight the cold hand of death to take it back. But joy... Joy was something that, maybe, he could still tighten his grasp around. Helping people had brought him joy, however small. Training with Valery Noble had brought him joy, even if not in great quantities. Those things were worth pursuing, and he knew that, even as lost and empty as he felt right now.

Helping people. Training in the Force. Both so very Jedi. Who'd have thought scum like him would somehow find his way back to that. Maybe... maybe it was time to talk to Valery about the Order. Test the waters to see if there was a future where he was more than just some scoundrel with a philanthropist streak.

"Maybe you're right Jenn," Gatz acquiesced, "maybe. May the Force be with you."