Star Wars Roleplay: Chaos

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"Mm. I fear adding two letters to the word doesn't make it any less true." Alicio continued his smirk. "But sure. Let's go with that. Older"

Without fail, Alicio could always count on Amani to help him sort his thoughts. They always got so... tangled, in his head, meandering around and knotting through each other. But Amani was straightforward, honest, yet introspective. It wasn't the first time comparing their different views helped him understand his own. He nodded in understanding, sparing a glance at the kids. They certainly did have lots of opportunities, thanks to their parents.


"How about you? Do you miss it?"

He took a moment longer to respond, mulling over the taste of his words. "Yes. A lot, recently."

"You're right. We've done a hell of a lot of good in the galaxy. Back when I was a senator, that was my only goal. Do what was good. Relief, crisis management, city-building. And after a day of rewarding work at the Rotunda, where I knew I was fighting for unequivocal good, I could come home and be with you and Liana and August..."

"But now... I'm in a position where I have to prioritize what's best, over what's good. And sometimes, what's best for the Alliance isn't necessarily what's good, and the smallest error on my part could fall short of both. And to ensure I don't destroy the lives of billions of people... I have to spend my time away from the three people I love most."
Alicio let the fingers of one hand drum against the vaguely sticky table of the McYoda's.

"I miss simple choices. Back when the worst moral dilemma we had to navigate was whether buying a crib when we first learned you were pregnant was jumping the gun or not." He puffed out a laugh. "Which, upon further reflection, probably was."

"Rose-tinted glasses, I know... But it's hard not to miss it."


- Amani Serys Amani Serys -
 
"Sometimes my Council work has me feeling the same way," Amani replied, "The Jedi might be more morally guided than a galactic parliament, but we aren't immune to politics. More and more it seems, lately. The Order has lost its way before…" She looked up at Alicio, "I try to take comfort in knowing that, by being in this position, I can try and keep us from moving too far in the wrong direction. Doesn't make the hard decisions any easier, but, I hope it can at least keep us from falling off the path entirely."

"I miss simple choices. Back when the worst moral dilemma we had to navigate was whether buying a crib when we first learned you were pregnant was jumping the gun or not. Which, upon further reflection, probably was."

"Probably so," Amani chuckled, "Well, it's not like they can keep you Chancellor forever. Sooner or later, we might just have it back." The food arrived just a moment later. "Kids! Come get your lunch!" Lia and August slowly made their way down from the Playplace, caught between conflicting desires: to keep playing, or to eat. Amani distributed the foot out. A salad for each of the parents, and a hulking triple patty burger for the kids to split. Amani grabbed a knife and cut it in half to avoid any arguments over who gets how much. "Don't forget, you two need to try some salad, too."

 

It didn't surprise him that Amani had faced a similar conundrum in her time as a Councillor. The Jedi were a good organization, driven by the pursuit for justice and peace above all else... but being a governing body meant that politics were unavoidable. That was all politics was, after all- people having conversations, friendships and enemies made, promises kept and broken. Nobody was completely immune from it's pitfalls, not even the Jedi Council. And if the only defense against it was to lead by example...

"I suppose the best we can do is... the best we can do."

"Well, it's not like they can keep you Chancellor forever. Sooner or later, we might just have it back."

"That day can't come soon enough." Alicio smirked, then nodded in thanks as the singular McYoda's worker brought out their food. If he'd been paying any attention to their conversation, of being a Chancellor and a Jedi Master, he had the coolest poker face in the galaxy, not even giving them a second glance as he went back to browsing a datapad behind the counter.

August and Liana struggled with their own moral dilemma of fun versus food, but their growling stomachs eventually won out in the end, and they joined their mom and dad at the table. August clambered up into the spot next to Amani. pointing at her salad. "Can I have the leaves first?" Apparently, he wanted to save best for last.

Alicio handed a fork to Lia, letting her decide where she wanted to start, before letting his eyebrow raise curiously towards Amani. "You know, no Chancellor of the Alliance has ever returned to the political scene after their term ended. I know we've joked about it before, but..."

"How would you feel if I became... more involved in the Jedi Order? Theoretically?"


- Amani Serys Amani Serys -
 
"Can I have the leaves first?"

"Sure," Amani positioned her salad in such a way that he found it more easily accessible, sharing the greens with him. Liana sat next to her dad, and seemed to come to a similar conclusion that she might as well get the salad over with. Her gaze was on the burger the entire time as she ate her leafy greens.

"How would you feel if I became... more involved in the Jedi Order? Theoretically?"

Amani's expression grew quite curious as she finished a bite, "You want to join the Jedi properly?" She asked, "If that was your interest post-politics, I see no reason to stop you."

"Where'd this idea come from?"


 

August eagerly munched into his portion of salad, seeming to forget about the reward at the end of his ordeal. He was certainly much easier to please than his sister.

Alicio, for his part, took one bite... and fought a dissatisfied frown. He was sure that this time, he would enjoy the salad. Why did this keep happening?

Amani seemed appropriately surprised at his revelation. Alicio let a tilted smile find her, before explaining. "I don't know if I could ever officially become a Jedi. There are... philosophical differences in the way we approach the Force. Maybe there's a chance, there are different kinds of Jedi. Beliefs and viewpoints as numerous as there are knights... But I would have to do more thinking on the subject, I think." He shrugged, forcing himself to stomach another bite of salad, then looked at Lia, and tried on an encouraging smile. "Mmm. Good, right?"

He paused, checking for his daughter's reaction, before returning his attention to Amani. "Sylvia is the senator for Alderaan now, and she has done an excellent job of it. I honestly think she has the potential to do a lot more good in that position than I could." Alicio had high hopes for Lady Sylvia Organa Lady Sylvia Organa , despite not having met her all that long ago. She was hopeful, and a force to be reckoned with, if she continued to grow. He imagined this was how Faith had felt, seeing him rise to the occasion for her. "And I don't... want to be a King. We agreed to take on the monarchy because we felt we had no choice, but having a position of power conferred to us based near entirely on my relation to the previous ruler... well, it never sat right with me."

"And... that's a deeper conversation we can have while we aren't in a McYoda's. I just want to be where I can help the most people. And that involves me either starting my own humanitarian organization... or helping the New Jedi Order with one of theirs."

"I'm talking too much. I'm sorry."
He speared a piece of lettuce, twirling it sheepishly on the end of his fork. Overpowering the conversation wasn't exactly how he wanted to spend this rare moment with his family. "I do a lot of that, these days."

- Amani Serys Amani Serys -
 
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Alicio seemed indecisive on his connection with the Order. Amani didn't say anything yet, letting him sort out those thoughts for himself. Liana took a bite of salad, and shrugged, "I guess," She answered with a mouthful of greens. She liked it more than she let on. Alicio spoke highly of Sylvia, and was much more resolute on his distaste for his role in the monarchy.

"And I don't... want to be a King. We agreed to take on the monarchy because we felt we had no choice, but having a position of power conferred to us based near entirely on my relation to the previous ruler... well, it never sat right with me."

"And yet, your cousin is taking over as Senator," Amani smirked. Not that it was technically Alicio's choice— Senator was an elected position, "Kidding. But clearly the people of Alderaan still trust your name."

"All the same I'm sure they'd understand if you wanted to recuse yourself. You've done a lot for Alderaan as is."


"I'm talking too much. I'm sorry." He speared a piece of lettuce, twirling it sheepishly on the end of his fork. Overpowering the conversation wasn't exactly how he wanted to spend this rare moment with his family. "I do a lot of that, these days."

Amani raised an eyebrow. He shut that down rather quickly, "…Is something bothering you?"

 

"I'm far more of a nepo-baby than Sylvia ever was," Alicio said, his thin smile growing to mirror Amani's smirk. "Sure, being an Organa helped, but she ran on her own platform after I became Chancellor. Faith's endorsement let me ride her coattails."

There was something subtle, yet pained, about how Alicio looked when he talked about the end of their reign. He'd always had difficulty letting go of responsibility. That hadn't changed in all the years he and Amani had been together, even for a responsibility he'd never wanted in the first place. "I'm... sure they would. And I'm also sure the Great Houses could find someone worthy of the people's hopes."


"…Is something bothering you?"

Alicio considered the question a moment, giving himself some time to think with a subpar bite of his fast-food salad. He put on an unconcerned face. "Us all being together is... special. We've got so little time as-is..." He let an arm pass around his daughter, giving her a slight side-hug. "I don't want to waste it worrying over work. I'd rather hear about all of you."

"Oh, Lia, look over there."
Alicio pointed off to the playplace with his fork. If she turned, he'd quickly take a piece of her salad, and begin to slowly inch it towards his mouth as she turned back.

Meanwhile, August became uncharacteristically quiet. He looked at his father, then up at Amani, showing her a face that was extremely Alicio - his mouth pulled into a thin, concerned frown. Like his mother, August had picked up on something, too. The twang of guilt in Alicio's voice.

- Amani Serys Amani Serys -
 
"Alderaan raises good people. Surely there's someone else worthwhile to step up."

Liana suddenly piped up, apparently paying more attention to the conversation than it seemed, "Does that mean I won't be a princess anymore?" She looked to where her father pointed, and when she looked back, he was stealing some salad. She grinned mischievously, but rather than protest his theft she took it as a sign to go all in on her half of burger. She picked up the greasy stack of meat and bread, taking as big a bite as she was capable of. Which in comparison to the size of the burger itself, was not particularly big.

Amani glanced over at August, who was looking quite familiar to his father. He had noticed the undercurrent of emotion from Alicio. Amani gave him a sympathetic smile, "Well, good thing there's time for both," Amani glanced at Alicio now, giving him a look of 'we'll talk later', Then, she turned back to August, putting on a more chipper demeanor, "You heard the man. Dad wants to hear about your day. Did you do anything exciting, Aug?"

 

"You'll always be a princess, lovely." Alicio mussed Lia's hair as she quickly snatched her portion of the burger. The laughably small bite she took from the hulking sandwich was enough to make him snicker.

Alicio noticed Amani's request for a delayed talk, and screwed his mouth to the side, in a look of tired acceptance. He was being honest- right now, he just wanted to be with his family. Maybe... maybe there was something else, but that was something Mom and Dad could discuss alone without worrying the kids.

"Okay." August didn't go after the burger quite yet. But he did perk up as Amani prompted him to talk. Hearing his own voice was one of his favorite things. "I got a book about ships! Did you know that... that fighters used to not have hypodrives?" August said the fact with a child-like wonder in his eyes, stuttering a little as he recalled the information about his very specific hyperfixation. "They had to use rings or sleds to go fast, until the end of th-the... Clone Wars."

"Really?" Alicio smiled warmly. He knew nothing about ships, but liked seeing Auggie excited. "Do you know why?"

"Because hypodrives were too big, I think."

Alicio hummed in response. "Mhm. That makes sense." He then turned down to Lia, hoping to catch her between bites. "How about you, Liana? What did you do today?"

- Amani Serys Amani Serys -
 
Alicio seemed quite tired of it all. Amani dropped the subject, not wanting to sour his mood further. August thankfully took up the conversation space, expressing his newfound interest in hypodrives. The enthusiasm was enough to get his father's attention.

"How about you, Liana? What did you do today?"

Liana finished her next bite, hrm-ing in contemplation as she did, "I played with my toys," She grinned broadly. The toys in question needed no introduction. Liana had a long-running story with a collection of dolls she had gotten a couple years ago for Life Day, and the drama only got spicier with each play session. Each of them had different features— like the ortolan musician, who played an obnoxious little tune whenever you squeezed him, or the beautiful theelin with a whole wardrobe of interchangeable accessories— But such features were often secondary to Liana's imagination (other than the theelin's many outfits, which were utilized liberally). "Gooby stole Miss Twinkle's speeder. Then he crashed it, and lied to her about where the speeder! When she found out, she was very upset." Liana nodded knowingly, "But Gooby apologized. So they're friends again."

 

"I played with my toys."

That wasn't a surprise, either. Alicio nodded, interest in the tilt of his head as he listened to Lia's recounting of her most recent play session. He enjoyed listening to what stories the little half-Mirialan could come up with. Each one was a mini-telenovela, full of drama and intrigue. At least, as much drama and intrigue as a little girl could imagine.

"Really?" Alicio forced himself another bit of salad, then refocused on his daughter. Of course, he'd use the story as a teaching opportunity. "I'm glad they're friends again. Do you think Gooby felt better before apologizing, or after?" He was glad was thinking about emotional conflict and empathy at such a young age. Better to learn these lessons through play, than by bitter experiences later.

Without having even touched his portion of the burger, August started bouncing in his seat. "Mommy? Can I go play again?" It seems thinking about ships made him want to go fly down the slide again.

- Amani Serys Amani Serys -
 
Liana thought about it at first, "I guess… After. Cause Miss Twinkle accepted his apology." She concluded. Close enough.

"Mommy? Can I go play again?"

Amani looked at August, then at his food, "Are you full? Did you eat enough?" She didn't want him to overeat, but she didn't want him to waste food either.

"Can I go play too?" Liana said, joining in on the self-perpetuating excitement.

 

He'd take it.

Alicio nodded to Liana, content with the answer, all the while stomaching another bite of salad. "I think that makes sense. Very kind of both of them."

August thought for a moment, patting his belly as if he could feel the food inside. Seemingly having decided he was still hungry, the little boy finally got his piece of the burger, took a bite that made Alicio think about reminding him to avoid choking, then said through a mouthful of food, "Yeth!"

Leaving Amani to deal with that whole situation, Alicio instead focused on Lia, who echoed her brother. "Go ahead, lovely. Have fun." He watched them both (assuming Mom gave August the okay) run back towards the McYoda's play place, a wistful smile on his face.

"Have they been alright, Amani?" He didn't allow his face to fall, even as his voice took on another layer of fatigue. "I know we've both been busy, but... if they mind, they're excellent at hiding it."

- Amani Serys Amani Serys -
 
Amani's expression contorted, somewhere between amusement and disgust as August talked sloppily through his food, "Finish your bite, then yes, go play." Lia was not far behind.

"Have they been alright, Amani?" He didn't allow his face to fall, even as his voice took on another layer of fatigue. "I know we've both been busy, but... if they mind, they're excellent at hiding it."

Amani continued watching the kids as she dwelled on his question, "…I think so." She assessed, "At least from what I've seen. They've made som real friends and there are enough distractions to keep them busy. But they are good at acting… professional, I suppose," It was something they probably learned over time, having two parents with important jobs and a family often in the public eye. "I'm sure they'd rather we were around more regardless."

 

It was a trap that a lot of parents fell into, thinking their children were impervious to them.

Kids were resilient, that was true. A lack of experience begot adaptability. They didn't know if there was a better life, so they made the most of what they had. But that didn't mean there weren't wounds. It didn't mean they wouldn't scar.

Alicio was thankful for his own parents, and all they did despite the lot they were given... but after all these years, he could acknowledge the pain he'd felt from their distance, too.

"That's a wish we all share, I think." He kept his face neutral, mostly for the childrens' benefit, but wistful blue leaked from each word.

He paused a moment, obviously thinking, before reaching a hand across the table, letting his fingers occupy the space between them. A silent plea to close the distance. Something had been bothering him. He supposed now was a good time to talk about it, with the twins preoccupied.


"Ever since my term began, I've barely had any time for you. For Lia, and Aug. I keep telling myself that everything I'm doing is to ensure our future. That the kids have a galaxy that they can grow up in that's healthy and free and happy. That after the endless days and impossible decisions and horrid power, I can set all of it down to finally see you again. I've been... yearning, for today."

"But, now that I'm here..."
He paused helplessly. "I can't think of anything but work."

He couldn't stop thinking about the Alliance. About all the responsibilities he had left on his table, slowly piling up in his absence. In every moment he spent with his family, with his reason for living... he couldn't help but feel their future he was fighting for was slowly slipping away.

His own terrible little paradox.


"Is that... reasonable? Or have I finally begun going mad with power?" He chanced a flat smile, before pulling his lips into a thin, concerned frown. The same look August had just given his mother.

- Amani Serys Amani Serys -
 
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