Preservation

[Allyson Locke]

It felt like forever since Allyson had cried like this in front of someone. She had cried this helpless type of cry before, but never in front of another person. Being held like this helped her feel comfortable to let this happen. As it felt as if she ran out of tears, the brunette sighed softly with a small hiccup at the end. A weight felt lifted from her as she nodded listening to the next bit of advice. It made sense and there was a compliment there.

The confidence that she flaunted was not courage and she knew it. Knowing what real courage felt like Allyson wiped her face and held her hand there for a moment. Her eyes were probably puffy and red, the woman groaned slightly with frustration. Remembering that Jyoti had probably seen her in a worse state, she moved her hand and moved slightly to kiss the Echani’s jaw line. She knew she wasn’t done crying, but for now she felt better enough to stop before she gave herself a headache.

“I didn’t want to die. I had people who depended on me, waiting on me. As much as I wanted to just give up I couldn’t.” Trying to smile, she sighed. “I’m too stubborn for that.”

Allyson became quiet for a moment as she quietly contemplated what she could do and what she wanted to do. “I want a chance to make him pay, but…” She shook her head and closed her eyes. “I know I shouldn’t. It's dangerous, but I don’t know what I’d do if the opportunity presented itself.”

[member="Jyoti Nooran"]

 

[Eugen Aker]

As Allyson finished crying, Jyoti used her implant to tell the time - it had been nearly an hour since they had first started talking to now. It was clear that Allyson had really needed this.

"You are a stubborn goat," Jyoti said with a chuckle. She then leaned into Allyson, returning the kiss with a peck on the lips.

She pulled back, growing more serious again as Allyson expressed her desire for revenge.

"There is a popular saying, when seeking revenge, dig two graves. You can't allow yourself to be fixated on revenge against Kaine and those who hurt you, or you will be eventually consumed by your hatred toward them."

She placed her hand over Allyson's cheek, thumbing away a few tears that still dribbled across her face. "When I fight, it's not because I aim to destroy, but to protect. I'm scared too, but I keep sticking my neck out because I love you and want to see a better future for us in this wretched galaxy."

It was then that she pulled Allyson close to her bosom once more, letting out a heavy sigh. The woman had much greater control over a expressing her emotions than her Corellian counterpart, but inwardly she was just as distraught.

"The opposite of love is not hate, but apathy. He doesn't deserve your attention, he isn't anything special. His power comes from you. Please see that, and focus on what's really important in your life."

[member="Allyson Locke"]

 

[Allyson Locke]

Allyson knew that revenge was something that would and could get her killed in the long run. Her first encounter with the Sith lord nearly already almost killed her. There were more important things for her to be focused on than trying to find Kaine and exact her revenge. Still, as much as she fought it she wanted it deeply. Her focus faded for a moment from the Sith as Jyoti expressed her own feelings on the matter and reasons she fought. Allyson smiled as she felt better hearing how the Jedi felt about her.

She knew it already, but hearing it again made her happy again. Allyson thought about everything that was said. Not hunting for him meant that he was going to continue what he did, but it also meant that she was safe and not throwing herself into unnecessary danger. More importantly, it meant that she wasn’t wholeheartedly focused on him and she could see other things in her life.

Yet, knowing that he could do it again and that he probably most likely was already doing what he did to the Corellian to someone else made her chest tighten.

“It’s hard. Knowing that he is still there, still doing what he does. It bothers me knowing that I could do something.” Residing to that if the opportunity showed itself she would consider taking it, Allyson exhaled and relaxed into her lover’s hold and nodded. “You’re right though, there are more important things to be focusing on. Like the Silver Order, Onyx, you…” Allyson smirked and did her best to try and lighten the mood. “Those snickerdoodles…”

[member="Jyoti Nooran"]

 

[Eugen Aker]

She shook her head. "Don't get me wrong. There will be justice for you and all the others hurt by the Sith, but we will get it in the right way for the right reasons."

Since her "resurrection", the avatar had been hard at work behind the scenes, helping to establish a strong foundation for the Silver Order moving forward. They had to become better than they were to contend against the Sith and their proxies.

Jyoti chuckled as Allyson finished rattling off all the things she found important. At that moment, she was reminded of the container of cookies the Corellian had brought for her earlier.

"Snickerdoodles certainly are worth fighting for."

She grinned, then draped her upper body over Allyson to deliver another kiss. At the same time, the snickerdoodles slowly levitated toward the bed.

[member="Allyson Locke"]

 

[Allyson Locke]

The upswing of emotion felt better than the heavy downswing just had begun to recover from. It was straining and a part of the Corellian felt slightly tired from it all. Though, it was nice that it was the good feelings she was feeling and as the Echani moved over her, she laid back and accepted the kiss. Fingers held Jyoti’s face delicately as the kiss was returned. Allyson pulled back slightly and smiled.

From the corner of her eyes she noticed the floating snickerdoodle Tupperware and a chuckle escaped her lips. Reaching up, she snatched them from the air and scooted slightly so that her upper body was somewhat upright. “As much as you want to think the reason I came to see you was because of my broken head…” Allyson opened the Tupperware and the smell of butter and cinnamon sugar filled Jyoti’s room mixing with the delicate citrus the air already held. Inhaling, Allyson started to get ideas for what she could do to make these cookies even better. “I did come to see you, because I wanted to see you. For silly reasons like, uh I like your face and I baked cookies.”

Allyson grabbed one of the cookies and held it in front of the Jedi’s face. “I actually baked the cookies as an excuse to come see you.” The thought of having her revenge along with the others that were harmed by the Sith didn’t escape her, but she at this point and time didn’t know how to express that she needed to do it by her hands, not by someone doing it for her. She was grateful for everything and now she wanted to focus on something in her life that was good for her, like the woman in front of her.

[member="Jyoti Nooran"]

 

[Eugen Aker]

"Mmm, I like your face too," she replied, giving both the Corellian's cheeks a few light pats.

Nothing seemed to escape Allyson's notice, plucking the whole container from the air, then offering her a cookie. She leaned in to take a small bite. The cookie was just about perfect, crispy on the outside but chewy within. She could definitely taste the cinnamon, but more importantly, the tang from the cream of tartar.

"These are really good," she complimented. "You got the texture just right - people think snickerdoodles are just sugar cookies rolled in cinnamon, but that's not the case at all. So fluffy."

She kissed Allyson again, the residue of sugar and cinnamon on her lips. "I see you can bake as well as you can fly."

[member="Allyson Locke"]

 

[Allyson Locke]

As Jyoti described the cookie and the difference of what an actual snickerdoodle was, Allyson’s face lit up. It was a rare moment that someone could appreciate her favorite cookie the way the Jedi just had. Before Allyson could express her delight, a cinnamon sugar kiss came at her and as the Jedi pulled back, Allyson would catch a taste of the remnants of the cookie.

“I think I just fell even more in love with you. Not a lot of people know or appreciate a real snickerdoodle.” Allyson quickly gave another kiss to the Jedi and followed the kiss with a bite of the cookie.

“My mom baked and cooked a lot. She always wanted to open a restaurant, but we just never had the ability to. So, she worked at a small diner in town and I would help, taught me everything I know. Of course, this was before I ran away from home to be a dashing Corellian Pilot who traveled the stars.”

Allyson chuckled and continued to eat the cookie she had brought. “I knew these were a good excuse to come see you. Snickerdoodles are my favorite.” Pausing, she looked back towards the work bench and around the room, then back to the Jedi. “You still make an amazing cup of tea?”

[member="Jyoti Nooran"]

 

[Eugen Aker]

That was about the first time Allyson had ever shared anything about her childhood. Outside of their immediate history together, the woman had always been something of an enigma, but as they became closer, she was starting to see Allyson for the person she really was, and it was beautiful.

She wanted to ask more about her mom, but she stopped, thinking about Corellia. If her mother had still been on the world during the Rapture, then that probably meant she was gone.

Mothers. What was hers doing now? Was she still rotting in prison, or had she died? Jyoti had always been too pained to find out.

"You never need an excuse to come see me. In fact, I now demand it." She reached down to give Allyson a light pinch on the outer thigh. "I do, but, I don't feel like getting out of bed right now. I was watching something."

Her datapad had gone into standby mode from sitting paused for so long, while her bowl of ice cream on the nightstand hand melted into a puddle.

"If you don't have any plans, we could finish polishing off these cookies together over a movie. There are drinks in my fridge against the wall."

[member="Allyson Locke"]

 

[Allyson Locke]

Allyson never spoke of her childhood, Kaili only new spots of it. Becoming more comfortable with Jyoti made it easier to share these memories with her. Despite a good childhood, She never spoke of her parents - knowing what happened to the and how no matter what she did or could do she couldn’t save them. Even the small talk about her mother made her smile fade slightly. It was easier to talk about as she grew older, but she still avoided most conversations about them.

Chewing on a cookie, she frowned seeing that she would have to continue to dream about the cup of tea she had back on Kiara. Still, spending the rest of the day with the Jedi would make up for it. A hand rubbed where Jyoti had pinched her, “So mean.” The pout turned into as smile as she licked her lips clean of the cinnamon and sugar.

“Hmm, I don’t have anything planned. I was hoping that my charm would win you over to let me stay with you.” Leaning forward slightly, she quickly kissed the Jedi, “Seems it worked.” A smile and Allyson nodded. “I wanna see what you were watching, I’ll grab the drinks since you brought over the cookies.” The Corellian’s long legs slid out from under Jyoti and she made her way towards the fridge, bending over, she looked in and grabbed a juice and a tea, then sent them on the bedside table.

Crawling back into the bed, Allyson snuggled herself into the pillows and smiled. “We should finish what you were watching and I’m pretty sure you still owe me a binge session on that Mech show.”

[member="Jyoti Nooran"]