[Private] Before I Forget

[Eugen Aker]

Raven had been one of a promising student of Arisa's, but had been left to drift around following the death of the former Grandmaster.

Jyoti finally sought to rectify that, filling in for her "friend" to complete Raven's training. She wanted her to become the Shadow that Arisa had intended.

First things first, it was the matter of her lightsabers. The crystals had been retrieved, and the attunement process had begun. Now it was time to bring it all together for final construction.

After some initial introductions, the Echani had invited Raven to join her in the workshops of the main temple to work on her sabers. While she waited, she fiddled with one of her own lightsabers. She was easy to pick out among the group of Jedi there, wearing distinctive white robes.

[member="Raven Sorenova"]

 

[Raven Sorenova]

The young Padawan entered the workshop, scanning the area for Jyoti, who was rather easy to spot with her white robes, which stuck out like a glowing light in a dark room. She let out a heavy sigh, her heart heavy with loss and sorrow, and stepped forward to meet with her new... Master? She didn't really know what to call her. It was never clarified, so she defaulted to "miss".

Once she had reached the workstation in which Jyoti waited, she simply gave the woman a bow. She remained silent, and avoided eye contact, keeping her eyes on the table before them. She wished she could hide her face so that the woman would not lay eyes upon her somber expression. Raven tried her best to hide how she felt, but her resting expression, sluggish movement, and overall aura betrayed her. She felt like she constantly had tears in the back of her eyes, ready to burst at any moment. But she would not let them fall, and certainly not here in a public space.

She reached into the pouch at her side, and pulled out the two crystals in which she had gathered, and gently placed them on the table. One of purple, and the other, white.

[member="Jyoti Nooran"]

 

[Eugen Aker]

She could feel the familiar Aura of Raven before she set eyes on her. It was clear she was troubled, pain on two legs. She let out a small sigh, another person hurt by her mistakes.

Unlike the Padawan, the Jedi Master was able to make her true feelings perfectly, appearing to be in a jovial mood. The empath hoped some of her cheeriness would rub off on Raven as time went on.

She stood up and offered a customary bow before speaking.

"Hello, Miss Sorenova. I'm Jyoti Nooran. I was good friends with Master Yune. In previous conversations, she spoke highly of you. As one of her last students, I found it appropriate to help you complete your training on your path to knighthood, if you'll have me."

She clasped her hands together, awaiting a response. The girl looked like she could use a hug, but Jyoti didn't feel comfortable giving her one, lest she trigger the Padawan who as supposed to be a stranger at this point.

[member="Raven Sorenova"]

 

[Raven Sorenova]

She nodded, and that was it.

It was no surprise that Jyoti was Arisa's friend. There is something about the woman that would see to it that the two of them would indeed be great friends. How far this friendship extended was beyond Raven's knowledge, but she had no use of that, anyhow. But it made her think; Jyoti had to have felt much, much worse than Raven did. This insight made her feel even worse. She lowered her head enough to where her hair would cover her face.

There they were. The tears, but only this time, they were on the verge of spilling out.

She tried to control herself, but she only found it becoming more difficult as she tried.

[member="Jyoti Nooran"]

 

[Eugen Aker]

Raven just stood there in silence, looking like she was on the verge of tears. Jyoti was trying to be positive, but even she couldn't help but shift into a more somber expression.

The Padawan was still mourning, even after all this time. She could see how hard it would be transitioning to a new master, when the old one was still fresh on the mind. Then she was gone.

Raven stood as yet another living reminder of her loss, one that could never be recovered.

"Oh...honey."

She couldn't help it anymore. She reached out, pulling the girl against her in a loose embrace. She didn't cry then, but she could feel some liquid welling up at the corner of her eyes.

"I'm so sorry...I can never replace her, but Arisa would have wanted you to continue your training and become the person she knew you could be. I just want to do what's best for you."

"If...you want to come back to this later, we can. Maybe we should just take a break and have some tea?"

[member="Raven Sorenova"]

 

[Raven Sorenova]

Raven didn't respond to the embrace she was taken into. She was more worried about controlling herself, and not breaking down into tears. This moment... The creation of her lightsaber was meant to be between herself and Arisa. She had looked forward to it for a while, until she found out that she was never coming back. Even after the years had passed, and her work in the Silver Service Corps had helped her to move on from her loss, coming back to the activity that they were meant to partake in; One that Raven knew was certainly important to the becoming of a Jedi brought all of her sorrow flowing back in droves.

Arisa was the first person whom she had ever formed a relationship with and became attached to. She knew that Jyoti would never be a replacement Arisa. Nobody ever could be. But even still, she wanted to become a Jedi. She wanted to continue her training, and become what her former master had wanted of her. At this point, that was her driving force.

She sat up, gently pushing away Jyoti, and removing herself from her embrace, despite how oddly comforting she found it to be. Perhaps because she had never experienced it.

"No, it's fine. We can continue. A Jedi musn't allow their emotions to control them, and distract them from their mission."

Though the words were softly uttered, and paraphrased at best from what she could remember of her studies, she sought to live by them. She relaxed herself, expelling her mind of her negative emotions, if even temporarily, and wiped away the tear that had began to stream down her cheek. She could still feel it in her chest, however. The heaviness. The stuttered breaths as she resisted the urge to sob. But she would put that on the backburner to allow that too, to pass.

"This has been put off much too long, anyhow. I wish to become what I was so graciously brought here to be. I wish to find direction! I wish to... Become something of importance... To myself."

[member="Jyoti Nooran"]

 

[Eugen Aker]

She pulled back and nodded.

"Alright, but we can still take a small break before we get to work on those lightsabers." She looked down at the crystals Raven had brought with her, one violet and another silver. Both were rare examples of exotic crystals that could be found on Illum. It pained her a bit because she could remember helping Raven find them in the first place. "Interesting crystals, I can tell you began attunement."

Attunement was a process for refining the crystal by altering its molecular properties, but also tying the crystal closer to its owner. Both these things would help produce a higher quality lightsaber.

"I don't know if you have any preferences for your hilt, but here in the workshops we can fabricate all the basic components for later construction."

She unclipped her lightsaber from her belt for Raven to see. It had a sleek ergonomic design, a silvery hilt with enamel inserts to assist in gripping. There were several other modifications under the hood, like a high output emitter for greater cutting power, but that wouldn't be immediately obvious.

"You have free reign to design your hilts however you see fit. Just don't go too crazy on gilding if that's your thing."

[member="Raven Sorenova"]

 

[Raven Sorenova]

"I have been working on attuning them every night since I've received them. I don't think that there is much more that I can really do with them at this point. But recently, every time I've just... examined them, I feel a lot of sadness coming from them."

The answer to that regard was rather obvious. She has barely felt a hint of happiness for the majority of her life, so she figured that such an emotion was simply branded into her very soul. It's just who she was, at this point.

Raven already had an idea of what she wanted for a hilt. A design that she had drawn up a long while ago. Luckily for both of them, she needn't explain what it was that she envisioned because she had the design with her. She reached into her bag, pulling out a small hologram projector. From it, the hilt that she had in mind appeared in a hologram lit of blue, and she handed it over to Jyoti so she could examine it for herself.

The hilt was that of the nature of a katana's hilt. It wasn't round, but moreso flat along the sides. And the emitter followed that suit as well, being shaped more like the blade of a katana than just a normal lightsaber.

[member="Jyoti Nooran"]

 

[Eugen Aker]

It was so difficult keeping a straight face in front of Raven, everything she said was one little reminder of another of her old life that she could never acknowledge again.

"Your crystals are connected to you now," she started to explain. "So you can think of them as an extension of yourself, reflecting your state of being. That how we got the first red crystals, filled with the hatred and malice of their dark users. At least that's how the story goes."

Jyoti took her time studying the hologram, quite intrigued. The hilt had a retro design, reminiscent of a classic Atrisian sword.

"Interesting. The grip looks comfortable, though you may want to adjust the placement of the hilt controls so that they don't get in the way. What materials were you thinking of using for this?"

[member="Raven Sorenova"]

 

[Raven Sorenova]

Raven gave Jyoti a shrug in response to her question. She hadn't an idea what materials she wanted to use. She didn't think that there was much of a difference in any of the materials, maybe aside from basic weight and colour.

"I don't know. I really never gave it too much thought. I know what color I want it to be, but specific materials are beyond me."

[member="Jyoti Nooran"]

 

[Eugen Aker]

Jyoti nodded. "It really depends on your preference, if you a light hilt or something with a bit more heft. I fall somewhere in the middle with my hilt being made with a duraplast chassis plated in chromium and enamel. I suppose we could do something similar with your lightsaber, but your design seems to call for a more ergonomic grip. I think textured plastoid will do."

She motioned for Raven to follow her to one of the 3D printers in the workshop.

"Take a seat, and upload your schematics to the machine. The computer will run you through a simple prompt to figure how you want your hilt pieces to be fabricated. The process will take anywhere from ten minutes to an. Let me know if you have any questions."


[member="Raven Sorenova"]

 

[Raven Sorenova]

"I suppose something with some weight behind it would be nice. I don't mind feather-light things, but... When it comes to something as important as this, I suppose it needs to be perfect, no?"

She spoke as she went along with Jyoti to the 3D printers. She was already coming up with exactly how she wanted the hilt to be in her mind. Sure the design was already drawn up, but she thought about any last second changes that she wanted to make before finalizing this. She looked at her schematics, examining it closely before finally placing the holo-projector on the scanner, and letting the machinery download the schematics to begin the processes.

After it begun, she lingered over the machine for a moment, watching it begin to process her schematic and turn a simple hologram into a physical object. As moments passed, and her thoughts lingered, she looked over to Jyoti, quickly realizing that she actually had nothing to say to her at this point. Nothing to ask, no banter... Nothing. She just stared at her.

[member="Jyoti Nooran"]

 

[Eugen Aker]

The printer went to work crafting the tube, leaving the two women to wait. Unsurprisingly, Raven went quiet at that moment when they weren't doing anything, never much of a conversationalist.

With time to kill, it was a good time to finally catch up.

In a way, they were supposed to be strangers.

"I know you were originally brought to Voss. How have you liked it on Kashyyyk?"

Both Voss and Kashyyyk were mostly undeveloped, but the latter was like one giant death trap, a contiguous jungle full of all sorts of man-eating terrors. It was here, that the Silver Jedi had carved out their own little plot as their new home.

[member="Raven Sorenova"]

 

[Raven Sorenova]

As soon as Jyoti began speaking, the girl averted her gaze to the floor. Her mind was just blank in those moments that she just looked at her, which she could only presume awkwardly, even though Jyoti didn't seem all too bothered by it. It brought her to wonder exactly how long she had just been detached from everything; letting time just fly by her without even the slightest consideration put towards it.

It was an uneasy feeling, but all that kept her sane.

It took Raven a moment to answer, as she wasn't entirely listening to the question, but yet she picked out pieces that she could recall to give the proper answer.

"I do not have much of an opinion on it, if I am to be honest. It's just.... Another place."

She hadn't considered that, either. Her opinions, how she felt about truly anything. Everything just melded together in her mind in one big incomprehensible blob. Subjects, but no meaning. No direction.

She just... Was.

 

[Eugen Aker]

Raven wasn't very forthcoming with her answer, looking away not really saying much. However, to the Echani, her actions spoke much louder than any words could. The impression that she felt from the girl was that she was lost and neglected.

Yet another person Arisa had let down.

"Just another place, hmm? One can say many things about Kashyyyk, but boring isn't one of them. I could show you something outside after the printer finishes its job, if you're up to it."

[member="Raven Sorenova"]

 

[Raven Sorenova]

Raven looked to the printer to check its progress. It seemed to work surprisingly fast, as the hilts were just about done. She approached the machines to get a better look at their progress and to see what they had to behold thus far. What she spied were the the two hilts of an oriental styled of a metallic silver finish with accents of either black, or a dark purple. Seeing them actually filled her with some latent form of excitement. A feeling that didn't, and never would last long for her.

She turned back to Jyoti, considering her next choice of words as an answer to her question. Nothing really came, so she could only muster a nod for the moment. That's when the beep from the printers had slightly startled Raven, and she quickly turned to them to find that her hilts were finally finished. Her hand hovered over the finished device, weighing in her mind whether or not it was safe to pick up. After a moment, she did. The smooth metal in her hand, weighted just enough to be comfortable for the small swing she acted-

There was a sort of happiness in her eyes that most had never seen from her before. Not since she had been brought to Voss initially by Arisa. This was a moment she wished that she could share with her. It took a lot of her to not allow her shoulders to drop, and for her mood to be extinguished once again.

"You will have to get over this eventually, Raven," She whispered to herself. She turned around to look at Jyoti, though only bearing a half smile.

"What is it that you wish to show me?"

 

[Eugen Aker]

Raven was quiet as ever, but Jyoti could sense some internal conflict bubbling under the surface. Then finally, she seemed to start breaking out of her shell, engaging the Echani in conversation.

"It would ruin the surprise if I showed you now, but I can assure you, that I think you'll be quite amazed."

It was super tempting to just spill the beans then and there because Jyoti personally found the sight unbelievable, but she kept mum despite her excitement.

She looked over Raven's shoulder at the ingot, now finally beginning to take the shape of a hilt.

"So how much training have you done with a lightsaber? Do you favor any form?"

[member="Raven Sorenova"]

 

[Raven Sorenova]

Raven would have to take her word on how amazed she may be. It actually built some sort of eagerness within her to see exactly what it was she was talking about. But she didn't speak on it, and instead just gave her a nod.

She followed Jyoti's eyes to the second hilt, which was also nearly complete. She knew she'd be using two lightsabers, but she never really thought about what form she'd use. She turned, her fist to her chin in thought, rummaging through her fading studies.


"I have been considering Niman. More specifically, Jar'Kai. I used to have to protect myself with metal poles and eventually a sort of shiv on Lianna. And I always coupled my force abilities with it, pushing and pulling people as need be. But as far as training with a lightsaber? To my dismay, none. But I haven't had anybody to train me anyhow. I've poked my head in and out of various training sessions, but... I, for the most part, remain a ghost."

What did she do in those times she did nothing else? She couldn't remember. Time had been blending in for the young woman for the longest. Days, weeks, months... Even the time of day was something that she wouldn't be able to answer if she were to be asked of her. All she's had until recently were her thoughts.

[member="Jyoti Nooran"]

 

[Eugen Aker]

Niman. That had been her favored style in the past, but she had changed her technique to avoid suspicion. With greater athleticism, her style was much more acrobatic in keeping with her Echani heritage.

"Hmm, Form 6 is always a good place to start after getting the basics down. Sets a good foundation for Jar'Kai. It's a shame no one has taught you...I suppose our first trial with that fancy new saber of yours will be a proper lightsaber lesson."

It was only a few more minutes until the hilt would be complete, the slightly curved form mostly done, now all that was left was refinement.

"How about the rest of your studies? How would you say you're with the Force these days?"

[member="Raven Sorenova"]

 

[Raven Sorenova]

Raven took a deep breath, and turned her face away from the Echani for a moment as she built up the courage to explain to her exactly how her training with the force has been.

"I have learned new concepts. Of new ways of using the Force, but every class I've been to, well... I've... Been unable to replicate. I put a crater into the ground once trying to do... Something. I don't remember."

It was by about that time in which all cares in the world that Raven could have ever had began to fade away. Normally, she would remember exactly what it was that she was taught, and she would make sure to practice until she got it right. But now it wasn't so much the case.

"As a matter of fact, I can't say that I remember too much of anything. So in short, I suppose, my studies have been for the most part, lacking."

It was a painful thing to admit, but she had to admit it to herself more so than to Jyoti.

[member="Jyoti Nooran"]