Star Wars Roleplay: Chaos

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Proceed with caution

Some may have been influenced by holofilms, seeing two silhouettes in the artificial rain standing alone on the corner of crossroads, and thinking it romantic. This was what some young girls dreamed of, except with more swans in the peripheral. And a rowboat.

Being a Kiffar clone meant Loske had more affinity to arid spaces, or at least dryer ones. The rain was irritating, and she would have stomped into the nearest open store if [member="Cedric Grayson"] hadn't made this walk so fascinating, and so, her curiosity made her entranced when he responded to her question with a scenario.

"What about the bridge you and I have forged." She latched onto that unpleasant scenario with a worried tone, lifting her hand to create a visor over her eyes and stop the rain from sticking to her eyelashes. "What if someone gets into one of our minds, can it compromise the other?"
 
"It can," Cedric answered plainly. There was no reason to lie to Loske, even if the truth was unpleasant. In all honesty, there was still much about the nature of the Force Bond that Cedric himself did not understand. They were rare things, and usually only ever forged between willing participants, or between those caught in a life or death scenario together. He supposed the latter had occurred between himself and Loske, and indeed he felt their bond strengthen with each new encounter. At first, he had only been able to feel Loske's most pwoerful emotions: fear and anxiety being the chief among them. Now he was able to touch on her mood relatively easily, though thoughts, proper sustained telepathy, and the many complexities such bonds supposedly brought about were lost on him.

"There are methods to counter that, though. As a bond grows, so too does one's ability to block it out. If the time comes where one of us is mentally compromised, I feel we'll have the mental strength to deafen ourselves to the other." He paused, deciding that they'd sat out in the rain long enough, and crossed the road over toward the restaurant Blieb had indicated.

"Honestly I don't know much about the bond. I've read the archival data, perused through a few holocrons, but they only give me the technical facts. Force Bonds are very rare things, and people that have them often say the only way to describe one is to have it yourself; though it may be a bit ironic given the lack of emotion in our code, some things you just have to feel out."

[member="Loske Matson"]
 
"Yikes.." She grimaced at the reality of compromise, and the lack of documentation or explanation about a bond. There was still the evergreen question of why them and if there was any benefit to it. Other than perhaps avoiding some awkward conversations and being able to detect something before it occurred. Just one more unnatural Jedi benefit, she supposed.

For a stolen moment, before [member="Cedric Grayson"] decided to turn away, she closed her eyes to focus on that mutual connection between them. It was like a glowing, golden thread strung between their presence. Could she influence it? With a thought, she attempted to darken the glow on her side and turn it off. It merely looked less opaque.

Still, she nodded as they turned to walk back in doors. Once the door dinged open, she readily shimmied out of her useless jacket and perched it on a coat hangar by the door, and twisted her hair to wring out any wetness on the welcome mat. "It's even weird that it's lukewarm rain." She observed, wiping down her bare arms. They hesitated for a moment's time before a droid whirred up with two laminated menus. A non-technical approach.

It only gestured, its arms giving a creak with the gesture, and whirred away to a booth near the window as false rain splattered down it in a torrent. Unceremoniously discarded the menus on the table for the two to digest, and whirred away.
 
"It does feel a little artificial," Cedric relented as the droid hoisted slapped the menus on the table. He lofted a brow at the automaton - it certainly wasn't the best service he'd ever received. He eased himself onto his seat, drawing back his cowl as he did so. The restaurant was mercifully cool - far less unpleasant than the artificial humidity of the outside.

"I've only ever had a force bond once before, and it proved to be a liability for me," he explained, eyes narrowing as he peered at the menu. "It wasn't a good person to share that kind of thing with - a long time ago, when I was still a kid. Her name was [member="Lysandra"], and she was...interesting." He huffed a bit of air out of his nose at the memory.

Just another person the Sith had ruined.

"Not certain what happened to her, but something severed the bond. If the one between us bothers you, it could probably be removed too, somehow."

[member="Loske Matson"]
 
"No." Loske answered that almost too readily. She was curious to hear more about the other bond, if they'd both occurred due to similar circumstances, and the extent of it and all that, but at the suggestion of looking to getting it removed she almost jumped.

"No, it..it's a really human connection." She explained. Loske was about to withdraw into her own memories, and elected to share her thoughts out loud -- given how open [member="Cedric Grayson"] was with his history. It was only fair. "A lot of the memories I have of triumphs and friendships aren't my own. It's confusing and.. I was..am...." she huffed and shifted uncomfortably in her seat "I can get lonely, Frank helps, but having something in the back of my mind is nice. And so..also, you're always saying The Force does things for a reason. There's probably a reason for it, so I'd prefer not to counter it. You know," she shrugged, pulling back out of that all-too-honest explanation "-so we don't get any bad Mojo from Ashla.

You're a bond slew. More than one, hm?" She smirked and gave the menu a flip to lift and look it over. "How'd that happen? Similar to ours?"
 
He was a bit shocked with how quickly she answered, though he wasn't exactly surprised after the fact.

He was characteristically quiet as she explained her reasoning. It wasn't what Cedric had expected, or what he himself would have given as a reason to retain it, but she made sense. The Ashla had brought them together in that regard to fulfill some purpose, though that purpose remained to be seen. There was also the matter of her honesty, and how she spoke of her loneliness. Cedric had sensed such things in a slight fashion through the bond, but never well enough to fully grasp them. Now that he understood, he found himself warming somewhat to the idea of the bond itself.

"Human connections and I haven't had the best experiences together," he waved a hand, mockingly dismissive. "But, I'm willing to give this one a try." He paused, eyes shooting down to the menu as he cracked a stupid little smile. "You're probably right on the Force too. These things are created with a purpose. Wouldn't want to disrupt the Ashla's plans."

She asked of Lysandra, and he hesitated. He was more open with Loske than he was with most, and he'd offered up the topic himself, but actually divulging that information made him feel oddly uncomfortable. It had been a particularly grand betrayal - as they had all turned out to be in the end. "I'm sorry I didn't wait for you. Should have listened to the pastors," he snickered, eager to break down his own apprehension. "Lysandra and I had an odd relationship."

Where to begin?

"My father had plans for our dynasty to rule from Ession for several generations. He picked my bride to be from a selection of force sensitive girls when I was four. Lysandra was the most powerful of them, and she had white hair - I suspect dad wanted the grandchildren to be blondes, match the regal stereotype more." The droid came by. Cedric mumbled something about a steamed nerf burger before continuing. "We were raised and trained together. Bonds from childhood, especially in those that are put into romantic roles, tend to develop naturally and rather strongly. Unfortunately for Lysandra her connection to the Force was unstable, and extremely potent. She became a danger to herself and those around her, and lost a good bit of her sanity in the process."

He frowned. "I lost her when I was nineteen. She went for a walk through Ession's streets, and disappeared. I've seen the holocam footage. She ended up in the company of a man called The Slave, whom later took on the moniker of Darth Maliphant - the bastard you rescued me from back on Hoth. I can only assume he did what he wanted with her and had her killed, or worse."

[member="Loske Matson"]
 
The smirk she expressed at the insinuation quickly dissipated when [member="Cedric Grayson"] dove into story mode. She'd noticed Uumlourti on the menu and quickly realized that may have been the reason for Bleab's partiality for the restaurant. Equally quickly, she decided not to order that.

It was curious his bride-to-be didn't come up during the dating question. Or, maybe that had been the one that went wrong. No -- that couldn't be, they were still friends. Could you date a bride? Probably, have to keep the relationship alive somehow. There was a stop-gap in the story, enough pause to point at the Endwa kebob on the menu and give an affirmative nod that blondes, like herself, were superior to brunettes.

As soon as Cedric mentioned Maliphant, she drew the connection back to Metellos then Hoth. It seemed he was a thorn in Cedric's side for...over a decade. To try and mask her expressive reactions, she hid her mouth behind her hand while listening to the story. It was a straightforward, but sad one. As much levity as Loske brought to their interactions, Cedric did his best to banter with it, and given the historic misery he should be wrapped in, she appreciated his humour that much more. It also helped to explain why he was so withdrawn with their interactions, the complete opposite of herself. The loss she felt was very unreal, and not her own. Everything he'd had, family, planet, a potential partner for the rest of his life, all taken. And yet, here he was to start again. Build it all up from the ground with the Imperium.

"I'm sorry." She murmured finally, dropping her hand to the table and bringing the other to meet it and clasp her fingers together. The next question was perhaps a little inappropriate. "Why does Maliphant have it out for you and your family? Where did this all start? Or is that even something that could be pin pointed."
 
The bond was a peculiar thing.

The majority of the time it was a background thing, a slight thread in the back of his mind that he could tug upon whenever he wished. The bridge that would then form between Loske himself was one easily walked, though he'd not entered her mind since that very first instance. At times he felt the remnants of emotion, sentiments one might better keep to themselves. It was difficult to discern the true nature of those sentiments, but he got the idea - like looking at a figure through stained glass.

Right now that background thread was at the fore of his mind, seemingly quite stubborn in its desire to be noticed. Despite such, he ignored it, focusing on the conversation at hand. "It's alright," he paused, lofting a brow as she asked of [member="Darth Maliphant"].

"He's a twisted creature that derives joy from the suffering of others. An empty thing, devoid of any compassion or humanity, save for a desire to cause chaos. Maliphant has often taken great pleasure in tormenting me, likely because I've driven some of his sycophants off the deranged path he set them on." Cedric explained. "There are few things powerful Sith Lords enjoy more than trying to unravel the minds of Jedi. Suffering is their chief tool in that, and Maliphant is almost an addict when it comes to using it."

Another pause, "So, truthfully I don't know. All I can tell you is that if a feminine man with long white hair tries to seduce you at a bar at some point, I wouldn't be surprised. As harmed as he might have been he isn't dead, I can sense that much."

[member="Loske Matson"]
 
In the booth behind them, just over [member="Cedric Grayson"]'s shoulder, Loske made uncomfortable eye contact with one of the patron's who turned around. An opportunity! Quickly, she stretched her metaphysical senses out, detecting their intrigue at the words being shared between the short-haired fellow and the blonde. Cedric had said she could impress on people's minds, so she attempted to. Visualizing that person's existence and their reaction as a uniquely contained objective. Somewhat confrontationally, she squinted her eyes at them. The projection was to suggest there wasn't anything interesting and try as they may to squint and discern who was doing the talking, the features of either of their faces would never fully come into focus. Hastily, they looked back toward the person they were sharing the space with. Obviously Jedi business did not make light dinner conversation. A triumphant, toothless grin replaced her glaring face.

So it was just misfortune. Threads tangled in a tapestry by a seamstress nobody could see, and they just had to continue coexisting until one of them was snipped or stitch ripped from the pattern. It would be a curious thing to hear how Maliphant spoke of Cedric, if it had the same amount of descriptors and dare she say, passion?

She offered a small exhale and smile combo, shaking her head. "Doesn't sound like my type, anyway. I'll do my best not to get into stranger's speeders."

The droid came and set down two glasses of water, and whirred away. Never once weebeeping or anything to the guests. Perhaps that's also why Bleab liked this place. Limited interaction.

"Don't take this the wrong way," Loske started, swirling the ice in her drink so it clinked against the container. The condensation on the outside of the glass suggested it was pretty cold, and she'd let it warm up before taking a sip. "I'm a little jealous at all your memories. Your history, and everything you've gone through, it's pretty remarkable. Much of it is unfortunate, or...worse.. I'm sugarcoating this for sure, but...it really helps shape you to who you are now, your reason, reactions, your purpose. Do you think you'd be the same without it?

I was going to ask if given the chance, would you change it but...I think I could assume the answer."
 
"Stranger speeders generally don't end well," he agreed, falling silent as he took note of what Loske was doing.

From Cedric's perspective, it was as if Loske was reaching out with invisible tendrils, forming a bridge between the mind of herself and the patron. Her influence was far from graceful - any force sensitive could have felt her presence as keenly as if she were yelling into a bullhorn - but it did the trick. A light smile touched his lips as she turned her gaze from the patron with a matching grin.

"Nice. Keep it up and you'll be getting rich at the sabacc table whenever you please." He snickered, taking his glass from the mute droid without any regard for the machine. He didn't care for the automated mannerisms of the resteraunt, but the atmosphere was at least interesting.

He fell silent, then, when she asked her question. It was one he'd pondered himself extensively. He knew what the right answer was; the inspiring answer, but it wasn't the true one. He chose to be honest, and Loske would feel an immense shift between the two of them in their bond. The shield Cedric wore at all times fell, for a brief moment, and the pain in his eyes was that of a man far older than himself.

"I would," he answered immediately. A pregnant silence hung in the air before he elaborated. "I don't...regret anything I've done, or the man that I am. I'm happy I am this way, but spending my entire life fighting wars and leading people was never what I wanted to do. I never wanted to leave Ession. The mantle of responsibility was forced on me when I was a child, and I've lived in a reactionary state to it ever since." He paused, lips pressing into a thin line as he realized the negativity of his words. "It's not that I'm unhappy. This is the reality we live in, and we have to make the best of it. I'm glad of the man I am, the things I've done, but truthfully all I ever wanted to do was be a simple man, teach others of the Force, maybe raise a family."

He waved a hand about. "This Imperium is my dream for the galaxy, it's what the people need, but it isn't my dream for me."

[member="Loske Matson"]
 
That ethereal kinship fluctuated, akin to tightening a leash. Any slack that had existed was replaced with a level of intensity that came with [member="Cedric Grayson"]'s honesty.

"That's a pretty astute dichotomy." She observed, looking down at her hands. She could feel his words, not just hear them. There was a part in the recesses of her mind that felt the same. The internal struggle her parents had gone through before they just..stopped trying to influence the galaxy and settled down on Kiffu. Did what they could to cleanse, repair, and make that a good place. Trying to go beyond that was exhaustive. People did a job, then they didn't do a job. Many people who fought before weren't here now. In the galaxy, or in a permanent way trying to press their deals. No matter their reasons for moving on, it wasn't important. Their efforts here honoured, no matter how ephemeral they were.

How could that job have a semblance of permanence? One way was to set up a permanent statue of that individual. The other was to continue on with that job.

It sounded like Cedric had accepted his role.

Unceremoniously, their orders were delivered. Steam rose from the respective meat options, and the droid let some cutlery clatter down from its grip as well, spilling it into the middle and allowing them to pick and choose at leisure. It was a little loud, but nobody in the restaurant seemed to care, since they'd received a similar off boarding of utensils.

"Maybe one day you can have both. The Imperium will take serious effort. One day, maybe you can hand if off...the responsibility of leading it, I mean. What about Alyson? On the bright side, you're starting to train others in the Force.." She picked up one of the forks to gesture to herself, before setting it down because she ordered a kebob and there wasn't much use in trying to fork it off the stick. "That's a good step. Compromise, I guess. The grass is always greener with what we want, than what we have. At least you don't have dirt."

Dreams and aspirations were a funny thing for the clone baby. For her, it was hard to decipher which were her own and which were injected. When Cedric spoke of teaching, and such, she liked to imagine herself appending into those scenarios. But she didn't want to teach. Not because she was greedy, but with these newfound powers, she wanted to use them. In a projection, she'd come and go as necessary to whatever pedagogical institute was instated. Come in, help out where necessary, and then go aide the galaxy at large. That would be a never ending request, try as they may with the Imperium's dream of righteousness. The galaxy was a large place, nothing would ever truly be eradicated if it were evil. As for family, that was one dream she'd had of her own ever since she grew jealous of the Taliths. Four siblings, all getting along. Perhaps that's why she coveted her relationship with her brother so much, he was the closest she had to a true family. The rejection from her parents, whether they meant it or not, was stinging. And something she never wanted to impart on kids of her own. If that were even something her chemistry would allow. So, perhaps she only had part of a dream. The family part. She should put some effort into a long term goal... or not. Riding on the coat tails of the wind seemed to be working out on her behalf for now.
 
"That's all life is, isn't it? Dichotomies." He almost laughed.

There had been many times when Cedric wanted to quit. His efforts had been met with failure after failure, and he had finally come to the solution that he could not bring change on his own. No one man, no matter how in touch they were with the Force, could change the face of the galaxy. A legion, however, was a different story. He'd adapted to the changing environment, eventually culminating in the Imperium. Even still, his desire to rest had not changed. A lifetime of war was not a life well lived, and he was keenly aware of the years ticking by.

It was only because of those that chose to put their faith in him that Cedric continued.

The intensity of the moment abated somewhat as the food was dropped unceremoniously on their table. Cedric poked at it, taking a few distracted bites, but he was clearly focused on the conversation. "Maybe one day. This won't be forever, I don't think," he sighed, "In the next ten years, I expect the Order to be properly restored, and at least a good portion of the core returned to prosperity. Maybe then," he paused, setting the food aside for a moment.

A lack of certainty would have been the best way to describe the way Cedric felt at that moment. There was a certain privacy that he'd elected to ignore with Loske that he'd kept hidden from most throughout his life. To express one's innermost doubts was an expression of weakness, and too many times had people chosen to use that weakness against him. Despite his desires, the Jedi Master remained somewhat guarded. It was only the wistful nature of Loske's thoughts that stirred him from his habitual rejection of contact.

Uncertain indeed.

"I feel better when you're around," he spoke, and it hung particularly awkwardly in the air. There was clearly more that Cedric intended to say, but the sudden cessation of his brain function rendered him at a momentary loss. "I can't explain it. I suspect it's the bond," he continued, scratching at the back of his head habitually. "It's...distressing. I am a Jedi Master, my purpose is to serve the Force, and the Force has forged this bond between us. Bonds influence the mind, and emotions tamper with the balance of oneself."

It was difficult to explain, and so Cedric chose to approach it from a purely academic viewpoint, and he wasn't particularly skilled in that either. "If I've finally reached a clarity of the mind, why has the Force chosen to saddle me with this?" He paused, brow furrowing, "Not...you, just - I don't know what I'm talking about. I am worried that whatever I may think of you might be artificial, a construct of this bond."

[member="Loske Matson"]
 
Balance couldn't happen without two opposing forces. And thus, in dichotomies, at a grander scale, there was balance. It was just a shame such dramatic choices had to exist on a personal level.

After a few seconds of watching [member="Cedric Grayson"] try to rationalize their interactions, she decided it would be best to lean in and try to assist. The day had been long, and they were tired. Trying to talk about how another person impressed on you one way or another in whatever light was a mental gymnasium, and it was far more advanced when you were trying to speak about it to that person in real life. Across a terribly fluorescent lit table. "You don't have to explain it." Loske offered, twisting the pointed end of the kebob's skewer on the plate and letting the steam roll off in a dancing cloud on the seasoned meat. "You can just enjoy it."

She tried not to frown at the idea that portions of their relationship were artificial, and she knew he didn't mean it in an apathetic way, so she took a bite of her dinner to satiate her appetite and distract her overreactive facial expressions.

After chewing and swallowing, and allowing that last recommendation to resonate, she continued with an offer. "Maybe it's for a humbling experience. Maybe there isn't ever actually true clarity.

For what it's worth, I'm glad we met on Metellos. Even if you didn't intervene to save me. Though, something tells me that if we continue with more interactions like today...you'll have ample opportunity to balance the score."
 
Loske Matson said:
"You don't have to explain it." Loske offered, twisting the pointed end of the kebob's skewer on the plate and letting the steam roll off in a dancing cloud on the seasoned meat. "You can just enjoy it."
Cedric exhaled a breath he hadn't known he'd been holding in.

It was hard not to rationalize things. He did that for everything. Some people might have called that overthinking, but Cedric liked to have every one of his bases covered with just about any interaction. The confused muddyness of feelings were not simple, nor were they concrete. As much as he had a mind for the abstract when it came to the Living Force, he had no idea how to quantify things as a person.

Kark it.

He leaned back in his chair, taking a bite of his food. For the first time in quite a long time, the Jedi Master ceased to be, and Cedric was just Cedric.

"You're probably right," he agreed, shrugging. "I suppose true clarity would be the Ashla itself. We can't attain that on our own." He had no problem going with her rationalization. That was the great thing about religion - everything could be rationalized.

"I'm glad too," he cracked a smile, though he made a point to seem focused on his food. "You didn't need saving, to be fair," his gaze returned to her, "But I'll be sure to catch up points wise."

He paused, setting the food aside, "You know you're about as far from who I expected I'd be running around with when I got this far."
 
The circumstances of their friendship, much less their bond, was indeed beyond the realms of expectation. Her family had started the damnation of his. Even that ancient Sith Lord knew that. Still, [member="Cedric Grayson"] saw beyond that, and would much rather focus on the cultivation of her untapped potential.

Finishing the final morsels of her rodian delicacy, she arched a blonde brow at the statement nonetheless. “Oh yeah?” She started, her tone hinting at a challenge. Elbows rested on the table, and she laced her fingers together to make the back of her hands a platform for her chin.

“Who were you running around with in your dreams?”
 
The challenge was accepted.

Cedric leaned forward, resting his elbow on the table and his chin on his fist, a near imitation. His eyes narrowed as he conjured up a reply. "Probably some aristocratic girl. Some sort of nobility - all refined, probably pretty reserved. That's the Essonian dream."

He'd never actually stopped to wonder if he liked that. It was what had been expected of the highborn, and he'd simply taken the expectation to heart. He'd done that for many things - pleasing the people had been far more important than developing differing opinions back then.

Not so much these days.

"Not really mine though," he added as the droid came by to scoop up their plates. Cedric leaned back, mocking a yawn, "I'd say I'm pretty good with what I've ended up with, truth be told."

[member="Loske Matson"]
 
That was a part answer. Who [member="Cedric Grayson"] was expecting to be with at this juncture was different than who he may have expected.

“Now it’s a pilot extraordinaire from Kiffu, turned Jedi Padawan.” She paused, and reached into her pocket to drop some credits on the table. She’d had a bit of a time exchanging her outer rim credits for ones that worked in the core a few days prior. Only one of the few adjustments between how the coalition operated and The Imperium. “That’s pretty good company.

And a motley crew of warlords who have sworn fealty.”

She remained poised on the table, hunched slightly and dropped her tone. “Do you trust them? How did you find them?”
 
"No complaints here. You haven't gotten me killed yet, that's all I really need." The droid returned a few moments later to collect the credits. It actually beeped at them, several times in fact, before turning about and hurrying off toward the back of the restaurant. Cedric gave it a confused look, shrugged, and turned back to Loske.

"The warlords?" He lofted a brow. His voice lowered as he leaned in conspiratorily. "Some of them fought with me in the New Republic, Rebel Alliance, and couple are from the old Essonian Dominion. The rest are former moffs, mercs, and big wigs from the fallen imperial governments. Not very good men, but their administrative experience will help us get back on track, and I keep them in line."

"I don't trust anyone except those that have been loyal to me since the beginning. Tobias Dracks is the one I'm least leery of. The former imps have agendas." He paused, cracking a rare smirk as he reached out to poke at Loske's arm. "I much prefer the current company to them."

[member="Loske Matson"]
 
Absently, she wondered if her mother would be any help in the administrative capacity. Beyond the responsibilities she’d carried with The Jedi and The Chancellor of The Republic, she was also a Kraloçe on Kiffu. Her father had also temporarily held office in Naboo. Perhaps it was worth her asking. But then again, she still liked that idea of just being the mission-doer, and not traipsing into Politics. That was part of the frustrating burden [member="Cedric Grayson"] bore, and as much as she wanted to help, there’d be others more qualified.

Loske hadn’t much opportunity to interact with any of the fellows who bent the knee and had been part of the subjugation, but based on the details Cedric imparted, she wasn’t partial to the idea of rubbing shoulders. Thankfully with his tutelage she’d be spending more time in the ground, less within squadrons at the jurisdiction of commanders.

The poke was surprising, but less surprising than the Boop on Ruusan. That would always take the cake.

“Well there was really no competition. But I’ll be unstoppable in favouritism ranks if I amass an army to assist.”

Mischief crept across her features, a telling twinkle in her eye “Maybe a clone army? I hear there’s a facility on Kiffu.

Imagine.” She twisted in her seat, moving her hand to paint a vision with a single stroke “A myriad of Loskes.”
 
"I don't know about no competition. The Minister of Truth is a bit of a dick to everyone aside from me, it's pretty fun to watch." He shifted toward the edge of his seat, eyeing her curiously. "An army of Loskes?" He paused to consider the possibility. "I'm not sure if I'd have a problem with that. Wouldn't that make you the queen mother, or something?"

Sounded like a Hapan thing.

"Honestly as long as you're not trying to overthrow me you're miles ahead in favor than the warlords," he added as he rose from his chair. The droid was returning again, trilling and beeping in its robotic language. It waved an appendage at the table, then to the duo, and then toward the door. The beeping went longer the longer it waved.

"Alright, alright," Cedric held up his hand in mock surrender. "We're going." On a whim, he offered a hand to Loske - all for the showmanship. "Cheap shebs droid. Can't let us relax for a minute, eugh."

[member="Loske Matson"]
 

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