Private Rapture

[Cato Harth]

Cato shrugged, and reached over to his bedside table to fetch his datapad. He turned it on and checked local news. They had been digging through the rubble the last few days and fixing up damages. Standard stuff. Then, he saw a report, and read it aloud, "Known criminal Dathan Carnage presumed dead at the wreckage site. Mask and cape found on an unidentifiable body. Reports still developing," Cato wasn't sure how to feel. Dathan was by all accounts his nemesis, but he rarely desired to see his enemies slain. Not when there was a chance for redemption, and in Dathan's crusade, he saw the potential for it to be turned to something good. But the villain's egotism was unshakeable, and if this report were true, this was the end of it, "Well. That's that then."

It was almost humorous seeing him referred to as a 'known criminal' as if the people who made that report weren't almost certainly working for a criminal themselves. But Dathan had made an enemy of the rest of Nar Shaddaa's crime lords in his mission, and so it was unsurprising that they paint him in such a way.

Serena warbled impatiently, just sitting there, and Cato tussled her hair in response. He winced very slightly at the touch on his wound, but shook his head, "I'm pretty beat, but, if I made it this far, I think we'll be okay."

Inanna Harth​

 

[Inanna Harth]

Serena started to fuss a bit as the excitement of seeing Cato wore off and she remembered she was tired. Inanna gave her a pacifier and rocked her a bit, hoping she’d self-soothe and get sleepy.

According to the news, Dathan’s mask and cloak had been found on a body that couldn’t be positively identified. But it was safe to assume he was dead. Inanna felt some guilt over not rescuing him along with Cato and Serena, but not much. After all, he was a dangerous criminal.

Lowering her hand, she stared silently at his wound, chewing her lip. There were a lot of things she wanted to say, but she wasn’t sure if now was the time to talk. “Let me put her to bed,” she said, standing up and holding Serena out so he could kiss her good night. “You, uh, want anything while I’m up?”

Cato Harth​

 

[Cato Harth]

Cato paid his daughter a little more attention, making up for the last few days as best he could, but the fickle baby was still tired, and couldn't be dissuaded from fussiness by anything other than the comfort of a pacifier. He pinched her cheek, then caught the look in Inanna's eyes. It made him freeze for a moment. There was a lot that needed to be said, and more that needed to be done. Not just from the last few days, but the last few weeks. He gave Serena a kiss, "Nighty night, pink."

“You, uh, want anything while I’m up?”

Cato pursed his lips, a moment passing before he mustered a response, "…Just you." He brushed his hand against the skin of her arm, as she left to go tuck in Serena. Then he smirked a little, "…And maybe some water." He shifted around to the edge of the bed, and walked around some to regain feeling in his legs. All the while he studied the details of the room, as sparse as they were. Mismatched clothes in a pile on the floor, a picture of him and Inanna kissing on a scenic Erakhis coast, a collection of lightsabers, collecting dust.

Inanna Harth​

 

[Inanna Harth]

His hand brushing against her arm was enough to send a thrill through her, but his words made her ache with desire. She grasped his hand before she suddenly turned away, her feet carrying her to the baby’s room almost in a hurry before she slowed down for Serena’s sake. Luckily the baby was still relaxed, her eyes closed and body still. The only sign that she was still awake was the movement of her pacifier, and even that was slowing steadily.

Inanna laid her down in the crib (which Cato had assembled only about a week ago) and gave her a kiss. She stayed for a few moments longer until she was satisfied that Serena had drifted off—and even then she lingered, for some part of her needed to watch her baby sleep.

When she opened the door to Cato's bedroom again, she had a glass of water in hand. Cato was out of bed, standing near his collection of lightsabers. He hadn’t dressed, and her gaze started to roam over his body for a moment before she fixed her eyes on his face. It would be easy to try and fuck the pain away; there would even be some temporary relief in it. But she knew it would hurt them both more in the long run if they kept running away from their problems rather than confronting them head on.

Her lips parted, but no words came out at first. She offered him the glass before she softly asked, “Can we talk?”

Cato Harth​

 

[Cato Harth]

Cato turned to face Inanna, and froze again. He could practically tell she was feeling many of the same things. A primal urge to make contact, but deeper than that, the need to say something. He took the glass, and gulped it down with the desperation of a dehydrated man. The effects of the last few days were all catching up with him at once. He finally finished, some of the excess water leaking from his lip, which he shamelessly wiped away. Cato set the glass down, and stepped closer to Inanna, when she spoke.

“Can we talk?”

He held his breath, a hand feebly brushing against her shoulder, trying to elicit something more that deep down he didn't feel he deserved. Cato studied Inanna's golden eyes intently, his voice a whisper, "…What do you need me to say?" There was knowingness to his question, but also hesitation.

Inanna Harth​

 

[Inanna Harth]

Her brow furrowed as she looked at him sadly. “There’s nothing you need to say,” she said, taking his hand in hers. “I’ll stay with you no matter what. I mean that. What I said, before I stormed out… I was upset. I was already on my way back here when Yarrow came.”

She hadn’t been fair to him, hadn’t been perceptive enough when it came to understanding what he was going through. For her Serena was everything she had hoped for; for him, she was the consequence of an irresponsible act. He blamed himself for everything, from his inability to work as a vigilante to the couples’ lack of sleep. And for all that she thought she understood how he felt, she had been blind to much of it. Perhaps willingly so, because knowing his pain would have hindered her idea of Serena as this miracle child—itself a cope for her own pain.

She thought about telling him the truth. That for all her talk about wanting to have his children, she already knew that it was impossible. But she couldn’t quite bring herself to admit it here.

“I should’ve listened to you. But I was afraid of… I don’t know what exactly. Maybe that you would put on your costume and go out without me, and end up getting hurt.” She spoke haltingly, trying to control her emotions enough to at least get the words out before she broke down. “There’s something you said to me not long after we got together.

"You're one of the only people in this galaxy that gives a damn."

“I know I haven’t exactly been acting like it lately, but I care. About you, and Serena, and Narsh, and everyone. It’s just difficult sometimes, you know?”

Cato Harth​

 

[Cato Harth]

Deep down, Cato didn't really believe Inanna was going to leave him, but it was nonetheless a relief to hear aloud. They'd never had an argument quite like the one from a few days ago, and some unpleasant words were exchanged between them. He regretted the things he said, and her acknowledging the same was a good first step to making things right.

"I know… And I know you do," Cato replied. He stepped back to sit on the bed, patting the space beside him for her. After a lull, he sighed, "…I'm a mess, Inanna. I wanna do everything at once even when I know I can't. And I've let down a lot of people because of it. I want to be a good dad to Serena, but I keep putting these other parts of my life before her. I shouldn't but… I guess it's my escape," He reached over for Inanna's hand, "It always has been. I learned I could make people laugh. Make myself laugh. So I put on the class clown act. Started being the daredevil, troublemaker, whatever. All to hide from my real problems; Feeling like my parents abandoned me and my sister with the Jedi, shit like that early on. Then it became second nature. And it's all anyone ever saw."

"Until I met you anyway," Cato's lips twisted with emotion, "And then I fucked up again. Serena, she's… god, she doesn't deserve me. I told myself I'd take care of her and I can't even do that right. I look at her and, and I just think of how much of an idiot I had been. I got caught up in my own act, and I totally screwed with someone else's life because of it. Now this one's counting on me? Hell, is she the only one?" He pinched the space between his eyebrows, "But it's not that simple either. Because she's… she's beautiful. I see life in her eyes, eyes like mine. I just think… how did someone like me, make someone like her? And then I don't know how to feel."

Inanna Harth​

 

[Inanna Harth]

Inanna sat beside him and just listened. His conflict and pain went a lot deeper than just Serena, though her birth had brought it all into harsh perspective. He traced the source of his problems all the way back to his youth, when he first adopted a daredevil class clown persona to escape it all. How that personality had taken over, with disastrous results—and now he was scared that he wasn’t good enough for Serena.

While he grew more emotional as he spoke, Inanna started to cry on his behalf. She gradually moved from holding his hand to wrapping an arm around him, as much for her comfort as his. “Cato, you’re just starting out,” she stressed. “Don’t write yourself off yet. I know you can be a good dad. I believe in you.”

"But it's not that simple either. Because she's… she's beautiful. I see life in her eyes, eyes like mine. I just think… how did someone like me, make someone like her? And then I don't know how to feel."

That was a feeling she didn’t know, and yet she did. She hadn’t made Serena, Ophelia, or Galahad in the natural sense of the word, but she had seen the beauty of which he spoke in each of them. It was a beauty that was almost painful to look at, the kind that made you afraid to hold them for fear they would shatter like fragile glass.

“She is a beautiful baby,” Inanna agreed with a sniff. “For the record, you’re beautiful too. Maybe you don’t see it, but I do. Sometimes I feel like you’re too good for me.” She swallowed, and spoke in a whisper. “I’m not Dark anymore. But I don’t ever want you or her to see me like that again.”

Cato Harth​

 

[Cato Harth]

That was what Cato needed to hear. There was room for his inexperience, but more so, that she believed in him. He just stared into her eyes for a few moments, wondering how he ever made things work without her. If she wasn't here now, he'd have already fallen apart. But Inanna had been his rock, and he had been hers. Never in a million years, on a million worlds, would Cato have ever imagined he could be this lucky. And to think it all happened by chance.

“For the record, you’re beautiful too. Maybe you don’t see it, but I do. Sometimes I feel like you’re too good for me.”

Cato snorted, and shook his head, "That was supposed to be my line." Inanna brought up her Darkness earlier, which twisted his expression. He had almost forgotten just how bad things had gotten towards the end there. He couldn't even blame her for having gotten that way. She didn't have the training, and well, her child had been taken right out from under her. In a way, Cato was almost shocked he didn't fall similarly, chalking it up to the ambivalence of emotions he was feeling at the time, "I'm just glad to see it gone. You're stronger than it. In so many ways."

He leaned in dangerously close, the warmth from her lips was intoxicating, doubly so after such a (by Harth standards) long withdrawal. Cato laid a hand on her shoulder, and spoke in a low whisper, "I'll never take you for granted, Inanna Harth…" Harth. Feth, he was actually getting to marry this woman. How'd he manage to make that one work? Cato's lips brushed against hers, "I wanna show you... how much I care about you…"

Inanna Harth​

 

[Inanna Harth]

“I mean it,” she said, touching his chin so that she could hold his gaze. You didn’t fall, I did, she thought but did not say. In her eyes it wasn’t ambivalence that kept him; it was self-control. Responsibility, ironically. She had been out of control, and nearly got him killed in the process.

"I'm just glad to see it gone. You're stronger than it. In so many ways."

She dried her tears and hugged him tight. “God, I love you…” she said. His hand on her shoulder pulled her back just enough to whisper sweet words against her lips. His breath ghosted over her skin before his mouth captured hers. She kissed him back tenderly, then with growing need. It had been two weeks since they’d had any time to themselves. Two weeks since she last felt his heart beating wildly against her, the rush of heat chasing his pulse deep inside, letting her believe for a moment in children who could never be born…

Her roaming hands found his bandaged side, and she pulled back slightly. “Your wound,” she murmured, the concerned look on her face giving away what she was thinking. He’d taken a lightsaber through the gut; it was probably best that he not be too active yet. But before Cato could protest, she smiled at him, her golden eyes gleaming. “I have an idea,” she said, leaning in to whisper in his ear. “Why don’t you lay back across the bed…”

Cato Harth​

 

[Cato Harth]

"So do I," Cato said, still smirking. That's what made them so amazing together. They lifted one another up, became something more than the sum of their parts. And their fiery passions formed an unquenchable feedback loop. They kissed, first tender with passion, then eager with desire. These past few days and weeks felt like an eternity. Cato's excitement outpaced his own body, fueled by a need to put himself to use, to make up for lost time. But the graze of Inanna's fingers over his injury reminded him of the numbed pain, "What about i-" He tried to ignore it, but was cut off by his own grunt as he lurched forward. A lightsaber wound in one's gut wasn't great for stamina.

“I have an idea,”

Cato knew better than to question the intent behind that look in her eyes. As much as he wanted to show a bit more initiative, he tentatively lowered himself backwards, "Alright... Now what?" He asked, beckoning her closer.

Inanna Harth​

 

[Inanna Harth]

While he reluctantly laid back, she took a moment to shamelessly admire him. She was so glad to see him awake, so thankful he was alive. Standing up, she moved to the other side of the bed where his head was. “I think you’re going to like this,” she purred, her hair falling forward as she bent down to kiss him upside-down.

Their first kiss had been like this, on the deck of her ship in the middle of the Erakhian sea—only he’d been on top then. Her bottom lip slid gently off of his, then she moved on to his neck and chest, crawling over him as she made her way down the length of his body…

Cato Harth​

 

[Cato Harth]

"Do you now?" Cato asked coyly. He realized what was coming, and raised a hand to her cheek as they met in a kiss. It was evocative of their first, albeit with the roles reversed. It brought a smile to his lips, which melted away as he gave in to the connection. She then slid forward, pleasant pecks trailing down his body, until Cato soon found himself doubly preoccupied…

---

…How much time had passed? It was hard to say, as it had all devolved into a blur. The only thing Cato could focus on was the woman next to him, and he was already past staying passive. He had insisted he show Inanna just how much he loved her, after all.

Then, the sharp cry of a baby suddenly brought him out of his haze. He blinked a few times, his beat slowing to an eventual, disappointed halt, "…Shit." There'd be no reigniting that, certainly not with the little pink baby demanding their attention in the other room. Cato gently lifted Inanna's legs away, and climbed off to go get ready to play father. "Duty calls," He sighed, looking over at Inanna as he threw on a shirt.

Inanna Harth​

 

[Inanna Harth]

Serena’s crying took longer to reach Inanna, who after two weeks of abstinence wasn’t peaking so much as plateauing. Only when Cato slowed his pace and muttered a curse did her expression gradually shift from open-mouthed ecstasy to a guilty wince. “Oh no…” She hadn’t exactly been quiet about how much she was enjoying Cato’s love and care.

After being hoisted up onto his shoulders, her legs were kind of numb. She lay on her side, waiting for feeling to return to her limbs, wishing she hadn’t been so loud. “If she’s just startled, it shouldn’t take long to get her to go to sleep again…” she said. Watching Cato hastily get dressed, she couldn’t help but smile. “Hurry back, and I’ll make sure to be quiet.”

Cato Harth​

 

[Cato Harth]

"We'll see…" Cato smirked, taking a few moments longer than necessary to stare at Inanna, like he was leaving this sight for good. When he finished making himself decent, he appraoched the bed again and leaned down close, "Don't finish without me," he snorted, then gave her a lingering kiss before heading to the other room.

Opening the door, Serena's cries grew louder, and he winced for a moment at its shrill nature. But he beared it with a soft smile, reaching into the crib, "Hey pink. Don't worry, I'll get ya back to bed." He brushed her thin black hair, rocking her in his arms, "Blame your mom, kid." There were lulls in which she would almost seem to sleep again, only to start back up crying. After a while, it didn't seem like just rocking her around was working.

Inanna Harth​

 

[Inanna Harth]

A few minutes passed, with no relief to Serena’s crying. Then Inanna walked into the little makeshift nursery, holding a freshly made bottle. She offered it to Cato with a tired smile. Newborns eat roughly every two to three hours, and they had probably been going at it for at least a couple.

Cato Harth​

 

[Cato Harth]

Cato seemed a little irritated by the time Inanna walked in. Not at her or at Serena, but at his continued inability to really figure out this parenting thing. Seeing the bottle in Inanna's hand, he nearly felt compelled to palm his face, but instead he put on a smile. He was first-timer, she had reminded him. Now he needed to remind himself. For all his responsibilities, not quite challenged him as much as this.

Then again, none felt quite as rewarding either. "Thanks," He took the bottle then offered it to Serena, who almost immediately stopped crying, and began downing it like there was no tomorrow. Cato made a pfft noise, then looked to Inanna, "I'd have figured it out eventually. Probably."

"…Does it usually take long for them to go back to sleep after eating?" A hopeful smirk.

Inanna Harth​

 

[Inanna Harth]

Humming in agreement, Inanna watched Serena chug down her formula. The baby’s eyes were already closed even as her mouth moved. “Nah. Not her, at least. She lives up to the slogan on her onesie.” Drinking until she passed out.

Leaning in, Inanna looped an arm around the back of Cato’s neck and pressed her cheek to his, relishing even in the prickle of his three-day beard. He needed a shower too, though that certainly hadn’t stopped her an hour or so ago.

Now that she had a chance to think more clearly, she couldn’t help but be reminded of the unresolved matter of Moonlighter. She knew Cato was going to go back to his nightly patrols—he had been on the verge of it before their argument. An argument which began because of his guilt over not stopping crimes even in his own apartment building.

“When you’ve healed,” she began in a whisper, kissing him just below his ear. “I know you’ll go back out there. I want to go with you. I’m still your partner. Maybe we can ask Gurt to watch Serena for a little while.” Or hell, they could bring her along. She’d be safe in Inanna’s pouch.

Cato Harth​

 

[Cato Harth]

Cato looked down at the onesie again, and couldn't help a chuckle. Best baby purchase he'd made by far. Other than the important stuff, he supposed. Serena was already looking sleepy even as she downed her bottle. Maybe he and Inanna would get that time back after all. For now though, he just enjoyed the serenity, and the company of both his fiancée and his daughter.

“When you’ve healed,”

The sudden whisper against his ear tickled, and he involuntarily leaned a little closer, smirking.

“I know you’ll go back out there. I want to go with you. I’m still your partner. Maybe we can ask Gurt to watch Serena for a little while.”

Cato seemed surprised, "Really?" He said, trying to withhold some excitement. Glancing over at her, he became a little more serious, "…You're sure? Inanna I— You know I'd love to have you out there with me. But I don't want you putting yourself at risk like that just for me," He nodded, affirming his belief, "If you say no, I won't be upset. I… know this can't last forever." Sooner or later, he'd have to hang up the name and suit of Moonlighter. It just wasn't sustainable with their new life. But until he was sure he couldn't he would keep fighting for the people of Nar Shaddaa.

Inanna Harth​

 

[Inanna Harth]

“Yes, I’m sure.” She would’ve done just about anything for him right now, but this wasn’t a totally selfless act. Going out on the streets, fighting crime, beating up bad guys—it had a hold over her too, if only because it proved she could be good too. A hero. After her fall to the Dark Side, she needed some assurance that she had things under control again.

“Sometimes I wish we could keep going like this. It makes you happy, doesn’t it?” She gently stroked a finger over Serena’s brow. “We talked once about doing one final job, one that would leave a lasting impact on Narsh, and then getting the hell out of here. I still want to help you change the world.

“...And, well, I want to see you swinging around in that costume one last time,” she admitted, before leaning in to kiss him.

Cato Harth​