Reality

[Zesiro]

She listens to what Sol had to say of her two choices and gave him a small frown when he mentioned running if it looked like she was going to end up in a duel.

"Running is part of what has caused me so much trouble over the years. It makes me seem like a coward and not brave enough to face what is in front of me."

Wanting to know how to fight though, Zesiro would listen to all of his suggestions and then incorporate what she felt fit. Wanting to make a new image of herself, she didn't want to consider running. ​

"Is there more to the Forms than the katas?"

Lunch was soon over and he wanted to put what she learned to the test. Being rather inept still, his hits connected more often than not, but by the end of the session, Zesiro had improved slightly. Time and practice is what it would take and she would do her best to have both. As she expected, she was sore, beaten and bruised. Not in a bad way though surprisingly to her.

"My lightsaber can be turned to a training setting."

She no longer actually carried it and wasn't sure if it still worked. Not being sith anymore, Zesiro didn't want to use her red blade anymore. At the mention of meditating, she let out a sigh and shook her head slightly.

"I have once. Got locked up for days and days and had to figure out a way to survive. Other than that, meditation is impossible. Like catching a grasshopper."

[member="Sol Damerin"]

 

[Sol Damerin]

Sol lets out a snort as she explains her views on running. "If all you do is run, yeah that's bad. One of the first rules of tactics is knowing when you should run and when you should stand your ground. Knowing how to fight is just as important as knowing when not to fight. Standing alone to face down an army by yourself isn't brace, it's stupid." Placing a finger against her forehead he continues. "It doesn't matter if running makes you seem like a coward if it's the right call it is the call. Don't worry about what you seem like, worry about making the right tactical decisions. People who never back down may seem really brave to you but that doesn't mean much to them when they are dead."

Satisfied that he'd made his point he removes his finger and moves to the next question. "Yes and no. Katas are what you practice and form the basis of each form. They are how you train your bodies muscle memory so it knows exactly how to move. The Katas are the foundation on which the form is built once you've mastered them mastery of the form comes from sparring. This helps you better understand how to utilize each move in the Kata in actual combat."

The comment about her saber gets a raised eyebrow. "Well, that is handy. My sabers lack that setting. You can use your own then for training that is far safer." The comment about her not liking meditation gets a snort. "There is more than one way to meditate." He moves to his bag searches around and emerges a moment later. He tosses something to her, a small puzzle box. "Work on that. But don't try and solve it just fiddle with it and try and empty your mind. Moving meditation is an old trick for people who don't like sitting still. See if you can lose yourself in a task and you might find it easier to connect with The Force."

[member="Zesiro"]

 

[Zesiro]

"I was a simply, stupid and cowardly. Would run almost at the first sign of danger. Never learned how to stay, stand my ground and fight. Then I came here and gave up on the Force. Just used what skills I already had, learned how to incorporate them into my job and now here I am."

​Something Zesiro had gone out of her way to lose was acting like a whore and being like one. Actually since she had come to Kesh, she hadn't been with any man. However one thing that had stayed with her was the way she moved. It was a natural thing about her and while she had stopped drawing attention to it by her own actions, many people still noticed it. She wore clothing that accented her form, but they didn't show her off like it would have several years ago.

Her eyes crossing as he touched her forehead, she shook her head when he pulled it away.

"I suppose it take practice to know when it's best to run and when to stand."

The question about the katas answered, she nodded. He said she could use her own saber so when they met again, she would bring it along. She hoped it still worked and it's color wouldn't throw him off much.

"So I'll focus on one form and incorporate aspects of the others?"

The topic of meditation wouldn't be avoided and Sol mentioned there were other ways to meditate. He tossed her a puzzle box and she gave him an odd look. Mentioning to not try to solve it went against the purpose of the game. Holding it in her hands, Zesiro shook her head.

"I think that's a problem, I can't just sit and my mind thinks about a hundred things."

[member="Sol Damerin"]

 

[Sol Damerin]

To say Sol was unaware of Zes's body or the way she showed it off, even unintentional, would be an exaggeration of the truth. While he could easily be compared to a stone both in temperament and appearance he was still flesh and blood. He notices things but they have little effect on his comportment. He was nearly a decade older than Zes and currently acting as her master. He could admit she was attractive while feeling little to no actual attraction himself.

"I'll focus on teaching you one. You'll practice the others in your free time. There are benefits to having a basic education in all the forms. As you noted the ability to incorporate elements from the others into your style. Also, it allows you to identify the other styles to better understand your opponents potential tactics. Know which style they favour can tell you much of their temperament as well as how they will be fighting."

Deciding it is better if she figures out why that is important herself rather than having it explained he continues. "Don't stand there and give me reasons you can't do what I ask. Figure out a way that you can do it. Meditation is important to a Force wielder. It is when we empty our minds that it is easiest to let The Force flow through us. When that happens your connection to it grows and you learn. I don't care how you reach a meditative state, play with the puzzle, run until you are exhausted, or sit down and take deep breathes. Whatever works for you just do it." While he doesn't sound annoyed he does sound authoritative as he says this. This was an order, not a suggestion.

[member="Zesiro"]

 

[Zesiro]

Rolling the puzzle around in her hands and listening to Sol, Zesiro nodded when he said she should practice in her free time. Getting familiar with the katas and then incorporating them into her own rotation was what she needed to focus on. Once she got through this stupid meditation...

Rolling her eyes slightly at what he said about giving reason, she tinkered with the puzzle before speaking again. She hadn't been focused on anything, but thought.

"How is it that it's easiest for that Force to flow when meditating? I mean it's always there right? I can reach the Force now."

Making the puzzle float ​in the air for a moment to prove the point, Zesiro allowed it fall back into her hands where she went back to just playing with it.

[member="Sol Damerin"]

 

[Sol Damerin]

"Why is it easier to hear someone in a quiet room rather than in a busy one?" Sol asks giving her a look that says he either isn't impressed by her trick, her argument, or he has no real opinion. He was hard to read. "If you aren't going to listen when I talk, we are going to have a problem." His tone shifts slightly adding an inflection that suggests disapproval.

"It isn't about just reaching The Force. It's about clearing your mind and listening to The Force. It's not about whether you can reach out cup your hands and dip them into the stream. It's about whether you can submerge yourself in the stream and let it flow around you." Settling down into lotus position he closes his eyes. "Maybe a demonstration will help." Sol relaxes his mind, takes a deep breath.

Inhale, exhale.

He lets the force flow into him with each breath, the amount of energy he intakes increasing with every inhalation. With every exhalation, The Force goes flowing from his body to buffet into her. At first, she might not notice but as time passes the amount of energy he is releasing with each exhales increases until it is almost a physical force against her skin. Far more power than she would be able to take in.

Then it stops and he gets to his feet and gives her a level look. "I am not going to repeat myself. You know what you have to do, you know you can do it any way you want. Now you can keep arguing with the person you asked to help train you because you know they know more about fighting than you. Fighting and The Force at this point. Or you can listen to my advice." It was time for Zes to start listening and actually figure out how to empty her dang mind or he was going to get annoyed.

[member="Zesiro"]

 

[Zesiro]

Closing her eyes, making a sigh, Zesiro opened them and looked at Sol with a very serious look on her face.

"I'm sorry, Sol. You're the first person to actually give a damn about training me. My other masters wanted me for something else."

Playing with the cube still, she looked down at it before returning to Sol. ​

"I really have no idea how to meditate. Same as fighting. I just don't know how..."

He may think them excuses, but they were real to her​. Letting out another sigh, the blond looked down at the cube totally without thought and not even paying attention to it. Not bothering to focus on it, she fell silent.

He meditated next to her and eventually she noticed. Sol could do it easily, but it was still lost on the former sith. In the end, she laid down on the ground and tinkered with cube. It may not be the same as what Sol wanted of her, but a form of calm did come across her. Zesiro didn't feel any more or less connected to the Force. However, she did find herself in a sort of daze and when Sol ended his meditation, she snapped out of to listen to him.

"I am listening, master."

[member="Sol Damerin"]

 

[Sol Damerin]

Sol really had to question if she was listening at this point but that was the irritation talking. In all honesty, he had far more patience than he was letting on. "There are a lot of ways to meditate. I think you would be best suited to Alchaka but you don't have that kind of connection to the force yet. So you can either meditate like I do, or do moving meditation." He lets out a sigh. "Like I said the only real goal is to empty your mind. If you want you can just start jogging until you are too tired to think. Or you can sit down with me close your eyes and focus on your breathing. The path you take to get there doesn't matter so much, so long as it is one you can use. Once you empty your mind The Force will come to you without you having to grab so just... figure out how you can do that. Run, sit, focus on the puzzles, fix a power converter. Whatever it takes."

[member="Zesiro"]

 

[Zesiro]

"I've been called brainless before, does that count?"

Zesiro attempted to throw a little humor into the mix, but did listen to what Sol was saying with a nod.

"It is something I have to work on, that finding the quiet and the peace. So much goes on in here," raising a hand to her head, her expression really was apologetic. "I think I was close though."

The only other time she​ had been able to meditate it had been forced on her by her last master. He had locked her up and left her to figure out how to do it. Making her mad in the process, she had been able to do it. Maybe that was the route she needed to use this time. So Zesiro went back to her dark roots and focused on her past anger, irritation, pain, suffering and torture.

There were no thoughts in her mind, but pure focus. Oh she felt the Force like she had then and dove into it. The darkness surrounded her, but meditation was hers.

[member="Sol Damerin"]

 

[Sol Damerin]

Rather than answering Sol just closes his eyes and goes back to his own meditations. Inhale, exhale. The dark side begins to swirl up in whipping eddies around him as a nucleus of calm light side force energies gathers around him. Eventually, he notices her presence in The Force. It is a raging storm around her which tells him much about how she found her focus. Not that he cared if she wanted to find her focus by focusing in on her anger to sharpen it that was fine. It was a trick he used from time to time. He observes her in a detached way waiting to see how The Force flows through her now that her mind was empty, receptive to the ripples.

[member="Zesiro"]

 

[Zesiro]

Zesiro did not actually want to use the anger, hatred, pain or anything negative to fuel her connection any more. It was all she knew though. In her state, her breathing leveled out, but that anger emanated from her. She would remain in this state for as long as needed. It had kept her alive for days on end before. No thoughts crossed her mind though. Just an empty vessel connected to the Force.

[member="Sol Damerin"]

 

[Sol Damerin]

If Zes wanted to change her connection to The Force, well she might want to bring it up to Sol. The old merc used both the Light and the Dark which meant he maintained a balance of emotions. To him, there was no wrong way to walk the path of The Force, as long as the path you walked was your path. Then again, she may find that being caught in his own meditative aura may eventually help her find her own path.

From Sol great ripples flowed out from him and to The Force which sent its own waves crashing back. She would be able to feel his connection in her meditative state just as he felt her's. In that moment they were connected to each other and The Force as a whole. After about an hour he'd open his eyes. "That's enough for today's lesson. Don't forget your homework. I'll see you here tomorrow same time."

[member="Zesiro"]

 

[Zesiro]

As the hour of meditation progressed, the dark she had been holding onto faded and became closer the neutral Sol had. But she had start with her focus on the dark. It made Zesiro feel rotten and dirty. Eventually, he called a halt to the meditation. Bringing herself out, she opened her eyes.

"Master, how can I do that without reaching for my anger? I don't want to be dark, but it's all I know."

She leaned, placing her palms flat on the ground and looked at him, waiting on an answer.

[member="Sol Damerin"]

 

[Sol Damerin]

"One of these days." Sol says with a sigh. "You will remember all the things I've told you before. That sounds like a complaint but it's more of a fact. That is how sharing wisdom goes. I won't be around and you'll have to figure things out based on past experience and what you know. When that time comes the more you remember the better off you are." Waving a hand he considers her question. "Well, like I've been saying meditation is all about emptying your mind. A lot of the time that starts with just focusing on a single thing. I focus on my breathing, other people focus on a task, others work themselves to exhaustion so they don't have the energy to think. I've mentioned all these methods before. If you want to know specifically what alternate method works for you, I don't know. Just remember what your goal is, an empty mind, and try different ways to get there. You'll find something."

[member="Zesiro"]

 

[Zesiro]

"There's no way I'll remember everything, Master."

Sol made a point though, ​she would have to pay more attention to actually listen. Zesiro nodded at what he said on the meditation again. She didn't want to focus on the dark so would attempt to find another way to do it.

"I'll see you tomorrow. Good night."

Standing up and stretching, she would leave the area and actually beat him there the next morning. When Sol did show up, she was already going through some of the kata exercises he had taught her the previous day.
​
Zesiro saw how maybe focusing on them, she could empty her mind to a degree. Not yet quite there yet though. Perhaps as the movements became second nature, she could use this to meditate.

[member="Sol Damerin"]

 

[Sol Damerin]

Sol arrived just before dawn crested over the horizon. He settles his bag on the edge of the training circle and limbers up slowly as Zerio runs through the forms. Once she's gone through the Katas using her training saber he draws one of his own. Much like their first day he shows her a series of Katas, this time though they are all from the Ataru form. He doesn't know all of them but he knows a fair number.

Rather than having her practice each though he has her focus on the first one he showed her. Unlike yesterday he is far less forgiving on imperfection, which isn't to say he gets meaner, just that he refuses to let her move to the next step in the form until the preceding step is perfect. As Ataru was to be her primary style and the focus of his tutelage, for now, he'd be training her to perfection, rather than leaving her to practice it until she had perfection.

By the time lunch rolls around they'd gotten about halfway through the first Kata to his satisfaction. Regardless of how well she actually learned the steps the force slowness and repetition would keep them from getting farther. Once lunch rolls around he produces food and water once more.

[member="Zesiro"]

 

[Zesiro]

It would be clear to Sol that Zesiro was an average student. Some aspects she picked up on quickly while others took more time. When lunch came around, she was still quite focused on the lesson he had been giving.

"What exactly is the Form best for? All I knew prior to yesterday were their names."

Back when she had learned the names, her master didn't explain or train her any further. ​

"I'll bring lunch tomorrow if you want. Thank you again, Master."

It wasn't much of a stretch for her to change from calling Sol his formal name and master, so she went with his request.
​
[member="Sol Damerin"]

 

[Sol Damerin]

"Ataru is a highly offensive form. It's focused on mobility and constant attacks. Out in the open, it is among the best forms though it loses efficacy when you are forced into tight quarters." He shrugs. "Which is where Makashi would be better. It's a specialized dueling style exceptionally good at taking down a single lightsaber wielding opponent. But no style is perfect. Soresu is my primary style, but it lacks offense. Instead focusing on an impregnable defense until your opponent is worn down. I am also good at Vapaad which is highly aggressive. Shien and Djem So focus on deflecting attacks back at your opponents, Shii-cho is focus on unpredictability and disarming your opponent, and Niman is a balanced style with few strengths and fewer weaknesses. Also, if you want we can trade who brings lunch day by day."

[member="Zesiro"]

 

[Zesiro]

Sitting and eating quickly, Zesiro listened to what Sol said about Ataru, its strengths and weaknesses. He also included which Form he was best at.

"So basically your Form would trump mine in the long run since it can't break through your defenses? What happens then when I'm worn out?"

In time, she​ hoped to learn more than just one, but would focus on it until she got confident. When she finished with lunch and he commented on trading who brought lunch, she nodded.

"I got it covered for tomorrow then."

Stretching, she stood up​ wondering if he planned to run through more of the kata or if they were going to spar again. If it was the second, then she knew it would going to hurt.

[member="Sol Damerin"]

 

[Sol Damerin]

"Not necessarily. Like with most thing it comes down to a variety of factors skill, conditioning, terrain, experience, all of that comes into play. Soresu is good for defense but it can be broken. Ataru and Makashii, in particular, are good at finding openings and breaking its defenses." He shrugs as they get back to work. Once she has the second Ataru kata down to his satisfaction he moves onto sparring. It does hurt, but just like yesterday he never strikes hard enough to leave more than a light bruise. Then after sparring it is once again time for mediation. It was startling how quickly a day could fly by on such simple tasks.

[member="Zesiro"]