Private Recovery

[Everest Vale]

Colette's words struck deep in her heart as the realisation of what she was saying could well be true. Azzie — sweet, beautiful Azzie — could be changed completely. She grit her teeth in a hopeless endeavour to stop herself from completely losing it, as her body trembled at the true comprehension of whatever horrors the poor girl must be going through. A desperate noise escaped her throat, and she found herself speaking in a way she barely knew she was capable of.

"A-Ashla... dammit!"

It came out in a small, quiet shriek that nevertheless cut through the otherwise sterile silence of the room. She knew Colette was right, she always was. But what was she supposed to do? Just sit on her hands and wait, hoping for the best? She'd spend too much time in her life feeling useless. She couldn't keep acting like. And yet, everything Colette said was true, too...

"I'm... I'm sorry, Col..." She bit her lip, somewhat scared of what came from her in the moments prior. "I... I didn't mean to come here and... be like this... bring my burdens to you... I'm... I'm so stupid..."

Colette​

 

[Colette]

Everest Vale

"No!" Colette said and wrapped Everest tighter. "You're not. You're doing exactly what you need to do."

The hug did not let go. For as long as Everest needed it, Colette would let it bring the support she needed.

"Feel it. Embrace it and deal with it. Make it part of you, but don't let it define you. Trust in your friends and those around you. I am here for you, Tigris is here for you, and Valery is here for you. But you can't bottle these things up. You can't not allow yourself to feel."

"Cry. Scream. Punch things. Don't keep it in." Colette ease out of the hug and sat up straight. She let in a deep breath, straightened her back. "Scream, Everest!"

"LET IT OUT."

 

[Everest Vale]

She had been here before, and her memories of her last breakdown came to her. And yet, Colette's firm, unrelenting manner cut through any hesitation she had and she found herself sobbing again. The feeling rose in her rapidly, familiar but not known well to her. Azzie's face rested in her mind's eye, looking at her with that endearing ferocity and knowing grin. It made her heart hurt all the more.

The emotions in her welled more and more as Colette's words continued to work her up, until at last it came out; staggered, but earnest. A shriek that broke out into a wailing weep. Her fists clenched again as she grit her teeth. When she finally managed words, her voice broke under the strain.

"A-A-A-AZZIE!!"

She started shaking as she sniffled in her arms, her whole body tensing.

"I... I... hate them... so. much... W-w-why did... they... take her from us... W-why... do they... do... this..."

Another shriek, pulled from the depths of her scarred heart, before once again breaking into a hopeless sob.

Colette​

 

[Colette]

Everest Vale

Colette rested her hand on Everest's shoulder as she finally eased the pressure of her emotional walls. Rather than let it all burst under the pressure of a whole world she was letting it all go on her own terms. It would hurt both mentally and physically but it was necessary for her. She was in a place where she was safe, with someone who cared and who wanted the best for her.

A nurse rushed over and as she poked her head in Colette waved her away and wrapped Everest's shaky form in a tight hug.

"I'm so proud of you." She whispered and patted her hand against the white-haired woman's shoulder as the hug lingered. "You need this. Everyone needs this once in a while."

"You matter. Your problems matter. Big or small, or nothing at all. You never ever have to be afraid to tell me your problems, Eve."

She let the silence linger. Colette squeezed her sister's shoulder and pulled her into her side again.

"They do this because they want you like this. Afraid. Angry. They want to control you, to tell you how to feel and what to do. That's how they get you. How they turn you into their slave."

"What I saw on Woostri when I was taking down the one spreading dread across the battlefield was a group of broken people. Scared men and women who turned their fear from themselves towards others like scared little dogs that had been beaten into the ground from birth until all they knew was violence."

"They don't deserve your hate or your anger, Everest. You have to let that go if you want to rescue Azurine, or at least try to. If anything these Sith deserve your pity and your compassion. Even if it hurts. Even if they bite at your hand when you offer it. Because that's what a scared little dog does when it gets put in a corner by something that they haven't seen before."

 

[Everest Vale]

The Echani let out a long, exasperated sigh. Colette's words meant more to Eve than perhaps her sister had realised. She listened intently, letting silence again between them as she nestled against her shoulder again, breathing herself back down to normalcy.

"You're really wise," she said finally, shrinking a little more into her hug. "And you're right. I need... to be careful..." The thought hung in her mind for a while as the silence settled over them some more.

"Before everything went black on Woostri... s-something happened. I could feel myself losing control." The memory brought a sting of pain to her heart that she couldn't avoid. "I even... could feel the storm, like... I controlled some of it, or it controlled me, or... something... I don't know..." She could remember the tinge of the sparks that crawled along her skin, the twist of furious wind that surrounded her.

She knew what it was. She knew what was tickling the edges of her consciousness on that day, trying to entice her, pull her from herself. If it wasn't for Valery's interjection through the Force, maybe she would have been lost forever. She tightened her grip a little around Colette, as if to protect herself from the hypothetical.

"It was really scary, Col..."

She let out a forceful sigh and closed her eyes.

Colette​

 

[Colette]

Everest Vale

Now there was something Colette didn't hear a lot, she even recoiled in surprise when Everest said it. To Colette these things were just obvious facts. From the things she had read and actually enjoyed reading, psychological warfare was just a good part of what war was truly about. Hard for an enemy to rest and recuperate if you took their chances of a good night's sleep away from them. Difficult to claim superiority if all it took for you to crumble was some bad emotions and a good prod at your scabs.

Once Everest admitted her fear, Colette slowly nodded her head.

"Good." She said. "That means you know what to look for next time."

"Look, Everest, the dark isn't something to shy away from. It's just part of who we are, what makes us… Us." Colette quickly cleared her throat. "I might have put that in a bad way."

"What I mean is that… Anything that casts a light, also casts a shadow. A shadow is just… Weaker light— okay, no that's…"

Colette fell silent for a moment to think on her next few words a bit more carefully.

"Light is darkness, darkness is light. I read a thing before by some philosophy Jedi type. That a candle that eradicates all darkness, becomes the dark. A darkness that destroys all light, becomes the light. Each part of the… Sides… Are basically a sort of requirement for the other to exist."

"I don't think I'm getting this across right."

 

[Everest Vale]

Eve didn't say much, but she shrivelled a little more into Colette's hug. She understood what she was trying to say, at least in feeling even if not fully comprehending of it. Light and darkness... That defined dichotomy was still new to the Echani, but she was starting to understand the importance of its definition. Nevertheless, Colette's insights gave her something new to stew on

"Mhm, s'okay, I get you... Thank you... Col..." she croaked, her voice turning notably sleepy. Exhaustion was starting to settle into her bones suddenly. It had been a long day – a long few weeks that stole her energy ruthlessly — and Colette was warm.

A teeny tiny snore escaped her.

Colette​

 

[Colette]

Everest Vale

"Don't worry about it." Colette smiled as Everest leaned in. "It's been a bit of a day, huh?"

There was no response. Colette raised a brow and turned her head to find Everest asleep on her shoulder. She let out a quiet chuckle and slowly eased the girl down onto the hospital bed to lie down next to her.

A lazy yawn lulled Colette closer to sleep as she too felt the weight of consciousness lift from her eyelids. A comfy arm wrapped around the tauntaun plushie next to her, and with that she nestled in to fall back asleep again.

Everest would have her opportunity to leave some time later, but Colette wouldn't notice. She was out cold.