Reflection

[Jacen Voidstalker]

[member="Avalore Eden"]

"Maybe I'll try a species with fur to keep me wa...aha!" he paused mid sentence and shot avalore an accusatory glance. "Your preference in men becomes more clear."

He rolled his shoulders back and shuffled further back into his seat. Much of his body was sore, but it was a satisfying pain. It took a huge amount of effort to keep at the peak of fitness, and it didn't get any easier with age. Neither did fighting eight foot tall epicanthix with no discernable weaknesses.

"Alright, we share the bed. Let the record state it was your idea and I'll hear no complain if you want up with my snoring and drooling on your arm."

That was the last jibe Jacen could get in before his mind had to turn to his family. His first years of returning to the Jedi Order had been less about honing his abilities and more about accepting the path he had trodden to get there. At times he could still be a little fragile, seemingly placid on the surface, but murky waters churning down below. It was easier than it ever had been to look back, to review his failures. If there was one thing Voidstalker had learned to do, it was pick himself back up off the floor.

"Yes," he replied plainly. "Tristan, though last time we spoke it wasn't on good terms and that was...nearly five years ago."

 

[Avalore Eden]

A smirk. Avalore pushed at his shoulder, "Stahp, he only has hair in his beast form and he's not allowed in the house when he's like that. He breaks everything and sheds everywhere."

Her smile grew as she shifted in her seat, knees hugged at her front, and leaned sideways into the backrest with her head facing Jacen. The Healer's smile grew doleful, "Why am I not surprised that you snore and drool in your sleep. It's quite fitting, come to think of it." But the teasing line of her face softened as he spoke of his son and her brow knitted with mild concern.

"I'm sorry...how old was he then?"

[member="Jacen Voidstalker"]

 

[Jacen Voidstalker]

"He was around eleven," Jacen said. Yes that would probably send her doing a mental tally.

"Getting kicked out of the academy wasn't the only silly thing I did in my youth you see. Was starting to knuckle down in the officer's school on Coruscant and ended up getting a pretty girl who lived nearby knocked up."

He sighed. It was still much easier to talk about than it had been a few months ago.

"She did well for herself whilst I was on tour. Her new husband isn't actually that dreadful. Stable. Does finance or something equally dull."

He was a Jedi Master, a bastion of self control. And as such on a hint of bitterness and loathing crept into his voice.

 

[Avalore Eden]

"Eleven?" you bet Avalore was doing some mental calculations. Though she truthfully had no idea just how old the man really was, she doubted he could be much older than herself. He couldn't have been more than a kid. 17? 18? That sounded about right for Officer's Academy. She wanted to comment but bit it back instead. Jacen was not aware of her own youthful unexpected pregnancy but she couldn't live with being hypocrite. Even an unknown one.

"Oh Jacen," a deep frown tugged at her lips, "at least he has family to grow up with? That's something, isn't it?"

The Healer sighed.

"Do...do you ever want to go see him again?"

[member="Jacen Voidstalker"]

 

[Jacen Voidstalker]

[member="Avalore Eden"]

That question was a tad more difficult to tackle head on than it had been just to explain the situation at a high level. Not much of the discomfort made it through to his face.

"Yeah, yeah I probably would. You're right though, he does have people around him. It's just easy to worry that on a sith world and maybe Force sensitive...

"If I spend my time worrying about what could be I suppose I'd never get anything done in this world," he told them both suddenly. He offer Avalore a lopsided smile. In fact it was almost cathartic to talk openly about it. It had been so long since he had.

 

[Avalore Eden]

"I dunno," Avalore smirked back at him, hunkering down into her seat a bit more and attempting to find a comfortable slouch, "I feel like I get more done."

The Healer leaned her head against her friend's shoulder with a deep sigh, "How's your shoulder? Did you ever go get that surgery like you promised you would?"

[member="Jacen Voidstalker"]

 

[Jacen Voidstalker]

[member="Avalore Eden"]

There was probably a fine line where the stress was just enough to spur you on before it became debilitating. Jacen had crossed that line several times in his life. When the weight of the world become so heavy it was difficult just getting out of bed in the morning.

He raised one hand and opened his mouth. His brain tried to come up with a meaningful excuse and hit a block.

He exaggerated the look of guilt on his face, like a child caught with a packet of biscuits from the cupboard.

“I will schedule that in as soon as we’re back,” he said. He probably wouldn’t. They’d said six months off the front line following any significant work on the shoulder.

 

[Avalore Eden]

"Mm," Avalore replied as she crossed her arms and tucked in for a nap, "sure you will."

She didn't sound convinced.


~~~

Empress Liu Starliner​

A luxury experience along the Hydian Way​

Destination: Denon​

​

​

​

"Oh...my," Avalore only managed to keep her luggage in her hands as she stepped into the bedroom. Her jaw, however, she didn't catch.

"They've certainly upgraded Econo+ in the last ten years."

It wasn't a massive room but it was spacious and the furnishings were as luxurious as she could have imagined. Avalore stepped over to the near side of the bed and set her bags down as she swept her eyes across the cabin. The bed was huge, there was a tea-tray set off to the side with steam rising from the pot. She reached for a nearby remote control and began curiously pushing buttons.

"Oh, would you just look at that," Avalore began scrolling through ambiance options for the lighting and windows which included changing holo-displayed scenery within the glasteel itself. Various nebluae scenes to cityscape to parklands to jungles, all with accompanying ambient sounds and music.

"I just...I just can't even."

[member="Jacen Voidstalker"]

 

[Jacen Voidstalker]

[member="Avalore Eden"]

Jacen chuckled as she flicked through the options for scenery. When she wasn't looking he permitted himself a small wince. This was a nice room, a very nice room. Avalore and Stali had booked it for their trip to Corellia. At least the bed was wider than it was long. He could probably find a separate duvet and curl himself up into a third of its width and still be comfortable.

"Yeah, there's not much economising going on in here! There's also a mini-bar, but I'm going to assume every little bottle in there costs the same as night in a regular hotel," he said as he set down his small case of luggage. Jacen typically travelled light, since joining the Jedi Order he simply didn't have that many belongings. Especially once his weapons were left behind.

"Set the view to something nice and green? My view of rock faces down on Sullust can get a little... bland. Do you want to unpack then go see what the entertainment deck is about? I saw something about entertainment for the meal later as well. I wonder. If I use my powers for evil on the gambling tables, just how far does that take me towards the dark side? I'm sure I could muster up some good deeds to even it all out."

In contrast to the rather morose mood he'd ended up in on their first transport, his spirits were starting to lift.

 

[Avalore Eden]

Avalore pushed another button and the room dimmed, romantic music playing. The lights of the room took on a faux-candle-flicker.

"Oh my," said the Healer, looking wide-eyed at Jacen, "I'll need at least three glasses of wine for that one."

Beep.

The lights brightened and a lovely garden scene lit up the windows complete with birdsong and a gentle breeze. Avalore thought she heard the echo of a bell tower.

"There we go. Green." An impish smile now, she nodded to him about unpacking. They were only here for two nights and then it was off to Corellia. Might as well make the best of it. She stashed her small assortment of clothing in the dresser drawers and set her other bag off to the side on a chair at the small coffee table. Like Jacen she'd packed light. Avalore didn't have much in the realm of personal posessions or clothing beyond her Jedi Robes and a small array of civilian outfits. She didn't even own any jewelry aside from the ring she wore on the chain around her neck and one day she wouldn't even own that. One day it would be given to Destin, just as it was always meant to be.

"Dinner sounds good. I'm famished," she perked a brow at the talk of evil powers for gambling, "Mmm...I think if you gamble with good intentions it sort of evens it out." Avalore sniggered. Corellian Jedi standards really must not be up to par anymore.

"But we can help some little old ladies if it makes you feel morally balanced," smiling as she moved to the door, she gave him a sideways glance before heading back out into the hall, "what sort of entertainment did they say was scheduled for tonight? I think I saw there would be an Opera singer one of the evenings...some blue twi'lek."

[member="Jacen Voidstalker"]

 

[Jacen Voidstalker]

Jacen walked away from the room beside Avalore, perhaps keeping half a step ahead to reduce her awareness of the slight flush that was still fading from his cheeks. Best to leave the controls for the room alone now, he decided.

“Yes, I think so,” he replied. He chuckled under his breath. “I hope you won’t think badly of me for suggesting that opera might be a touch high-brow for me. He shrugged with palms held forwards. “If you fancy it I wouldn’t mind though.”

Jacen slowed his pace. Concern etched his features as he clearly fell into thought. Then there was a flash of confusion followed by guilt. He looked across at Avalore.

“You know,” he said, his voice suddenly quiet. “I just tried to think when I last went out of my way to do something I really enjoy. To have some fun. I actually struggled.”

This wasn’t the most likely of situations for doing so. Sharing a room and bed with a friend’s fiancé – if that was the case, he’d lost track – on the way to visit a grave. It was true though. He'd returned to the Jedi Order after witnessing so much death that he had been powerless to prevent. He had struggled to attain his knighthood, always battling with demons of the past. Since then he had thrown everything he had, including his physical and mental well-being into the fight. The war was a long way from over, but the tide was turning. Nothing would ever be perfect, as far as he was concerned, but perhaps that didn't prevent him from looking after himself for once. Maybe he'd even take time off for that surgery.

“We’ll do whatever you want to do, I didn’t pay after all, but as long as you don’t mind I’m actually going to try and enjoy myself. I think the Force owes me that one. And it few beers. It owes me some beers.”

 

[Avalore Eden]

"Admittedly I was a bit high-brow as a child..." the words escaped the Healer in what might've been described as a dreamy state were it not for the furrowed brow. Her eyes wandered as they walked, completely oblivious to Jacen's pinked cheeks, taking in the sights of chandeliers and golden statues; oriental rugs lining halls of polished stone tile. Avalore felt her stomach flutter for the memories this brought back.

Felt a flush of envy for the life of luxury she'd lost so long ago.

She did look back at him upon that confession, however. An understanding smile touched her face.

Hal would have said that the life of a Jedi did not beget personal enjoyment. It was one of personal struggle in the face of great challenges and adversaries. The life of maintaining the balance of the galaxy, of helping those who cannot help themselves. It was a life of great sacrifice.

Avalore always scoffed at those talks. Perhaps it was the Corellian blood in her or perhaps it was simply the very isolated state of growth Hal had experienced since birth - he who knew no other way of living - but they'd often butted heads on those subjects.

"I've always thought the traditional Jedi to be sorely lacking in the areas of enjoyment and contentment. Perhaps it's why the Jedi Order never cared for the Corellian pitch. You've got to have fun sometimes, Jacen, it's part of living and being human. You're not a cardboard cutout in a potato sack." Many would beg to differ, though in general she was sure. Jacen always seemed a cut above the average Jedi.

Smile broadening, Avalore looped her left arm through Jacen's right, "Let's go get you those beers. Pretty sure you'll love Opera after a few."

[member="Jacen Voidstalker"]

 

[Jacen Voidstalker]

[member="Avalore Eden"]

The pair cut an enthusiastic path towards the bar. As it came into sight Jacen started to wonder if ordering a beer would be appropriate. The man serving drinks was actually wearing a waistcoat. Mirrors and coloured lights displayed a myriad of liquors from all arms of the galaxy behind the bar.

This was going to be an expensive beer.

"You're in charge of making sure I get the right amount of beer to enjoy the opera without making a fool if myself. I haven't drunk much so I'm not quite sure how much that will be!

"So...what are you having?" He asked as he leaned across the bar and waved for attention with two fingers. "And tell me more of this high brow upbringing?"

 

[Avalore Eden]

"Let's start with one and go from there," Avalore intoned appropriately with a pat on his arm. She released him as they reached the bar and awed at the selection, "oh, just a glass red wine for me, semi-dry. Are there still tables available for tonight's dinner show?"

"It's filling up," said the bartender as he selected her wine, "but there are a few left. Would you like me to reserve you one?"

"Yes, please. And get this man a beer in preparation for the show."

"I know just the thing," the bartender smirked.

Smiling to herself, Avalore tapped her fingers on the bar counter, "My father was a governor of sorts on Corellia. We had an estate in the countryside - a small manor. I was an only child. I attended a private school, did ballet, learned to cook from my grandmother, learned to think from my father, learned to care for others from my mother." Bittersweet memories faded from years of trauma. Avalore couldn't even remember what they looked like anymore and she hadn't any pictures left.

[member="Jacen Voidstalker"]

 

[Jacen Voidstalker]

[member="Avalore Eden"]

Jacen didn't need the Force to realise that this was a time to leave a second or so for silent contemplation and then interject with his own stories before Avalore started to dwell too deeply. The time for that would come.

"I mean, in hardly salt of the earth working class. My family is distinctly middle class. Not opera middle class mind you, but middle middle class," he added with a smirk. "It was actually my uncle who got me into the military life. He thought it would do me good after being a spoiled only child. To pick me up after getting booted from the academy."

A beer was placed in front of him and Avalore was shown a bottle of red and poured a glass. It occurred to him that he didn't actually know all that much about her. It started train of thought about how few real connection he'd made in the last few years. His drive, his focus, had all been in the war effort.

"How did you end up in an academy then? With the greens?" He asked, putting the brakes on his mind before it could deviate too far on its own.

 

[Avalore Eden]

"Oh, thank you," taking the glass up, Avalore swilled its contents with measured practice and gave the wine a sniff. Smelled good. Smelled strong. She took a taste as Jacen spoke of his family and military, offering an amused sort of look at the prospect of the man needing a pick-up.

"What a rebel," the Healer remarked before looking back to the bartender, "can we go in?"

"Table's ready, Miss."

With a sigh and an arm looped once more through Jacen's free elbow she lead off towards the indicated hall, "Bit of a long story. Do you want the short version or the long version?"

[member="Jacen Voidstalker"]

 

[Jacen Voidstalker]

[member="Avalore Eden"]

"More stupid than rebellious, I must admit. Certain I didn't feel particularly proud of myself after being kicked out on my arse," he replied with a low chuckle. His hand shot out to catch the door as it swung back towards them. Stepping inside, he slowed his pace to admire their surroundings. The carpet was a rich, deep red. The walls were decorated in white and gold, with number of murals spreading across the ceiling.

"I do hope it all isn't holographic," he murmured. Of course it wasn't that extravagant. They were on a cruise liner, not in a grand opera house. People didn't tend to sit at tables eating for shows with class. But still, the scale of the space surprised him. He was used to the tight confines of military vessels, not luxury liners.

He turned towards Avalore as they neared their table. "We've got the time, why don't you go for the long version?" The offer was there if she wanted to talk. He figured she might want to, given the nature of the trip.

 

[Avalore Eden]

A sigh, the Healer took her seat and pushed her wine glass around a bit while pondering where to start.

"I have Kiffar heritage," she began, if a bit awkwardly with a sideglance at Jacen, "not much, mind you. My grandmother was half Kiffar but none of us knew that at the time. We just passed her ramblings off for senility of her old age, though she had been something of a noteworthy Psychic in her prime. Either way, I inherited a smidgen of Kiffar abilities of Psychometry ... token object reading. It wasn't something I was ever able to control or willfully manifest and for the longest time I didn't even consider the visions to be anything other than my own wild imagination. Probably because that's what my mother told me it was. Then one day I found my grandfather's old locket and saw the entirety of his life from when he got it as a gift in his late twenties to the day he died. He carried it with him everyday, and when I started talking to my grandmother about what I saw she outted me for what I was."

A waitress filled empty water glasses and placed menus before both of them. Avalore reached for one distractedly and looked at it without really seeing it. Her mind was focused on attempting to recreate the foggy faces of her past. She wasn't having much success.

"So my family started helping me practice. They'd bring in friends who had object they wanted read - usually old antique heirlooms and whatnot - and word got around. I never really gained much control over the ability, but as I got older the visions came more readily. Hm," she said with a shake of her head, "you know it's funny, I can recall the faces from some of those visions as clearly now as the day I first saw them but I can't remember what my own family looked like."

[member="Jacen Voidstalker"]

 

[Jacen Voidstalker]

[member="Avalore Eden"]

Jacen noted the way she used the word 'outted' and described the ability. It made it seem as if Avalore viewed it far more as a burden that a gift. Like her he skimmed the menu without really letting anything sink in from the pages.

"I had a kiffar work for me on an investigation. I guess I just found it useful at the time but didn't imagine what it would be like if you didn't have control over it," he said. There wasn't much to add or ask at this juncture. He simply filled an empty space so that she knew he was listening. Jacen's eyes turned away from the menu and noted that half of his beer had vanished already. Best keep an eye on that, he wouldn't have the resistance of a few years back.

He gave up on pretending to read his menu, laying it flat on the table. His hand idly turned the glass on the spot as he turned to face Avalore and listen.

 

[Avalore Eden]

"It's normal, from what I understand, for a Kiffar youngling to take years of practice and tutoring to learn how to control it and then," she recounted the conversations with Diana Moridena's family during their visits, "even some adults never really gain full control. Mostly they wear gloves to keep it from happening every time they pick up a spoon. Which is what I ended up doing a lot once I got into my teens. My mother tried to distract me from it, though it was a curse and a fools errand to pursue anything relating to token object reading. After I started getting requests from wealthy people around the planet she eventually pushed me into ballet, which wasn't so bad, and dance recitals kept me out of my father's diplomatic pocket."

"But it's not easy to sweep something like that under the rug. Certainly there were likely full-blooded Kiffar living on Corellia, but a Corellian born was easy to sensationalize I guess. A group of people invaded our home one evening, aliens the likes of which I really don't even recall. They had this great wooden chair that looked like a throne and they wanted me to read it to find out what happened to the owner. Said he was killed in the chair and they didn't know who the murderer was. I think I was 16 or so at the time," a pause for thought, Avalore brushed blond from her face, "No matter what I did, I couldn't read the chair through my fright. They killed my family, burned my house down and took me with them..."

Brown drawing tight over her forehead, Avalore stared at the glass of wine.

"Have you decided?" the waitress was back, smiling warmly.

"The soup," Avalore responded almost too quickly.

"Which one, dear?"

"The special."

"And for you sir?"

[member="Jacen Voidstalker"]